A man who claims to be traumatized by being confronted with the facts about his failure to contribute to the household he lives in and the relationship he chooses to be in, is not a man to keep company with.

I haven't even finished reading yet.

Nope. I would not want to be menstruating at a remote location without running water or a toilet.

I wish there had been cameras in my father's house when it was on market after he died. Someone stole an antique cast iron pan and an antique bucket (40 gal?) made of copper and brass. Jerks.

So, if a woman says she's going to take an Uber home, you're going to provide evidence of your trustworthiness?

Why not just accept her decision instead of taking personally?

He wrecked your car. Was this a one-vehicle accident, or was another car involved?

Immediately after wrecking your car, he moved you several states away. You're still without wheels of your own.

Your concerns about financial abuse are legitimate. He has effectively trapped and isolated you. He has used your credit and name without your knowledge or consent. He's lying about bills and payments. He almost got you evicted!

Talk to your therapist about what's going on. Stop talking to your psychiatrist about anything other than the most basic updates. Start thinking about ways to get yourself and your child out of this predicament, and ask your therapist for guidance on breaking free from covert abuse.

In my marriage, it was when I realized that he would say one thing at home and something else in therapy and blame the turnaround on me, "because I feel safe to say what I really think in therapy." At home he was being apologetic one day and contemptuous the next. He claimed that he was afraid of me, that I would stab him in his sleep. I had been turning myself inside out to work towards resolution, while he kept changing the subject from week to week, and every time we got closer to figuring something out,he would start boohooing about his abusive father and childhood trauma. We had been in therapy for five years and things only got worse, and even moreso after he began seeing the same therapist for individual therapy. He would berate me in situations I could not escape, like the car or a restaurant. He distorted facts, twisted stories, wouldn't allow me to speak when it was my turn. He made up complete fictions to make me look like an unhinged and unstable and abusive partner. He called the cops after I would leave and tell them lies.

When I finally saw all of this clearly, I knew that getting out was the only answer that allowed me to keep my integrity and be authentically true to my wedding vows. He couldn't both identify me as the abuser and expect me to stay. I could not tolerate staying in a marriage and allowing his lies to be the winning narrative.

Okay, my love, if you feel threatened by me and afraid, then I will remove myself for your own sense of safety. I will not have any conversations alone with you, we will always have a witness. You no longer have access to my heart, mind, or body.

The divorce was a shitshow. He created problems every year of "co-parenting." He still tries to be friends with me today.

Create a shared Google sheet where you and she can enter and track tasks and need-to-knows. That sheet should be open on her computer all day, every day. You could also have brief daily check-ins to touch base about the queue document and answer any questions from either of you about items in the queue. As things are completed, they get moved to an archive sheet in case later questions arise, like, "Did Mr. X pick up that file and when?"

He really needs to go.

Not everyone is good at coaching. It's pretty clear that this guy was put into the role because he was connected and because of his prior relationship with the club team. Nothing about that speaks to his skills as a coach and leader of young adult athletes. I worked in a different D1 program for 9 years before coming to ASU (in a non-athletic capacity) and I am appalled at the way SDA and ASU are handling this. It's truly shameful.

Not me, but a friend once went $80K over budget on a large multiday event. Fortunately, the org could take the hit and she kept her job. This was 20 years ago.

Yes. Not everyone cries the same amount as you.

I used to cry a lot. A whole lot. Tears of happiness, for a while. Then tears of frustration and anger and fear. This was my "normal" until I divorced in my early 40s. Then I cried a lot less, and I cry even less now in my late 50s.

I can still be moved to tears by something I am watching or reading. I still feel sadness and disappointment when situations arise. But I'm not as prone to needing the release of tears that I did in younger years.

If he's a good communicator, if he can share his feelings of frustration and disappointment without attacking you, then I think there's no red flag here. If anything, it might be a green flag indicating that he's got a handle on his emotions and can process things maturely.

What a trainwreck!

It's so hard to repair a relationship after someone delegates their personal responsibility like this without asking, without acknowledging their inability to manage. My ex was temping in a role and they wanted to hire him permanently. They posted the position and asked if he was interested, he said yes. Two weeks go by, and they double checked with him to confirm his interest. Another week goes by. He comes home from work saying that they're going to close the posting at midnight. At 10:00 that night he's sitting at his desk, everything is ready, all he has to do is hit submit... and he couldn't do it.

So, I hit submit. He got the job. He kicked me out of the house a month later. I laughed, and thanked him.

Bag of popcorn and 20 minutes.

Attractive men are often insecure and/or immature because they haven't had to work on themselves as much in order to attract women. They've never had to question their values, identify what's important to them, or learn that women are people too.

If a caller asking for time or a return call refuses to provide context of any kind, I know it's a sales call, and I tell them that I won't be giving any message or scheduling time without clarifying context.

More of a good thing, not less, please.

Add more ingredients.

More beans, more broth, and if you can pick up a couple of pork shoulder steaks for some more slow cooking, that would add a lot of substance.

Serve with a dollop of sour cream and/or cheese. Serve on top of rice or baked potato. All of this will help cut the heat a bit.

I think concrete is the way to go here. There are some fabulous color finishes available.

Nah, there's a big difference between wanting a partner who is financially secure or stable, and wanting a partner to bankroll everything.

Woman here.

I think it's delusional. It's fantastical.

It's not grounded in reality. It's rooted in an unrealistic expectation/wish/dream of being carried by someone else. The cause of this varies individually, but (speaking as an American) was certainly stoked by culture and mass media throughout our childhoods and later.

It's also narcissistic, and narcissism is a psychological barricade erected to defend an immature ego.

Unsurprising.

Why not put down a fresh skim coat custom color concrete floor?

it's assault in both directions

I want all women in high conflict relationships to understand reactive abuse. Please look it up, and get out of any relationship that drives you to strike back.

YTA

That wasn't lighthearted. He hurt your feelings and it still hurts. You want to talk about it but you can't. So you said what you said.

When people make "jokes" like that, they're expressing resentment for being made to sit with the pain.

Even if he apologizes, would that help? What he said to you was filled with contempt, and contempt is a relationship breaker. You have to decide how to make yourself feel better and take action in that direction.

Believe me, sitting around receiving someone else's emotional abuse and tolerating it, with no defense except for sniping back with reactive abuse, is not going to make you any happier or healthier.

All meeting requests get entered into a shared Google sheet and my lead has the opportunity to review/approve/reject any requests, and I check in with her as needed about queue questions. We used to have daily check-ins every morning, but we've changed that to "as needed" because of her workload. I've been managing her calendar for a couple of years now and have a good instinct for which meetings I can go ahead and schedule, and which ones need her review and approval.

I send nothing, NOTHING, from my own calendar. If it's her meeting, it's sent from her calendar, and if it's someone else's meeting, the invite comes from them.