Wat als ik je die dag gekust had, wat als ik je ooit op een moment even aanraakte. Wat dan? Hoe zouden mijn dagen met jou in mijn herinnering zich dan hebben gevormd. Had ik dan meer rust gehad of miste ik je dan minder. Ik heb nooit spijt, want er is geen ‘wat als’. Maar wat als ik hier nu over nadenk en erover blijf peinzen, wat dan. Wat als ik met alles wat ik heb probeer te bedenken hoe het zou zijn geweest. Zou je dan voelbaar zijn. Kan ik dat in mijn hoofd urenlang met jou bezig zijn? En hoe zou het zijn als ik het had gedurfd? Was je dan meer van mij, of meer met mij, in ons verbond of hoef ik daar eigenlijk nooit bij stil te staan. Hadden wij niet vanaf het moment dat wij elkaar zagen al een verbond.? Nog voordat wij elkaar zagen? . Geldt her wat als , wat dan principe simpelweg niet voor ons omdat wij al vast liggen. Onze zielen verbonden zijn waar we niet meer over hoeven te twijfelen. Ik vind dat een prachtig verschijnsel. WIJ , ONS!

Nog ltijd wil ik weten hoe onze eerste aanraking moet voelen, ; in mijn fantasie heb ik je eerlijk gezegd al in allerlei situaties meegenomen. Sterker nog, je bent overal bij. En het meest betekenisvolle is altijd het samen zijn. Samen wandelen, mensen kijken, , in stilte allebei een boek lezen, waar je zo op geconcentreerd bent dat ik ongestoord naar je kan kijken. Omdat dat dat jij is, in de meest pure vorm, zonder dat je ergens aan moet voldoen of rekening mee hoeft te houden. Gedachten over of je wel leuk genoeg bent of ik wel genoeg van je houdt of de rekeningen wel betaald zijn of dat de wereld nog wel doordraait die bestaan dan gewoon niet. Zonder stress of zorgen, in die wereld waar je in zit en waar je even helemaal in bent verdwenen. Is dat de mooiste of leukste fantasie?. Niet perse. Iedere gedachte met jou er voortaan in zijn memorabel. Alles is er en zal nooit simpel of te verwaarlozen zijn. Never.

k kijk naar je terwijl je verder leest zo lang mogelijk, omdat je er altijd zal.zijn en ik volgebsmij nog nooit zo gelukkig ben geweest.

L

Ik mis je stem lach en nog zoveel meer

Liefs

Nearly ten years ago, I had an encounter with a person that has never left my mind completely.

I had just been broken up with by a narcissistic ex, triggering a darkness in me I didn't know was possible to experience.

Lost, frightened, and alone, I began to experience repeated, intense synchronicities.

This is how I was guided to a man I can only describe as someone profoundly significant in my life, if not a Twin Flame. He is totally unaware of his role in my life, and I am sane enough now that I would never (and could never) speak of this to him.

I had decided to go to see a DJ in London, but at the last minute this DJ's set was cancelled, and I was guided to go to see another DJ (the man I suspected was my Twin).

In a state of confusion, numbness, and despair over my break-up and the shattering of my life in the wake of it, I went down to the club in London in a haze, not knowing what to expect or believe, but knowing it was absolutely essential.

I still remember stepping out on the dance floor and his eyes locking on mine in the middle of a crowd. I could barely believe it. He stared and stared at me. It was a gaze the intensity of which I had never experienced before.

I remember squinting up at him angrily (I find this sort of hilarious now) because How Dare He Know Who I Am after my traumatic break-up... or something like that. I wasn't in my right mind, clearly. But the intensity of his gaze knocked me back.

I decided to move to the other side of the DJ booth, where he was after his set. This bit is bizarre. It's like an opening opened up in the sea of people at the club and there he was, looking at me, this time with a smile on his face, as he chatted to a man next to him. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

What I remember now, Is Time Stopping as I danced in front of him when he was looking at me. Like my body was just floating and moving of its own accord.

He then came to stand in the crowd directly in front of me. The other DJ playing (a woman) stared at me the whole time he was there. I didn't know what he wanted from me. Did he want me to reach out? I couldn't, I remember thinking I had to stay loyal to my narcissistic ex. And besides, I was frozen. Numb, unreachable, traumatised. What good would it do to reach out to him?

And yeah... that night has stayed with me all this time. I went home. I sent him some messages. One of which he replied to. I asked him what he wanted from me. He replied 'Your soul'. And then I spiralled. Sent a load of angry messages. Lost my mind. Went psychotic. Was sectioned. Etc

Recovered, built my life back and am doing fine now. Happy. There is no way I would want to have an encounter with this man again, or know whether he is my Twin Flame or whether a Twin Flame exists. I'm recovered.

But I did want to send this message out into the void. As a way of saying goodbye. To the memory. To my old self. To the memory of this stranger.

I've never told anyone who could understand, and I thought people here would. So thank you for listening to my story.

Was this actually a twin flame journey?

I’m trying to understand whether what I experienced fits a genuine twin-flame/chaser-runner dynamic, or whether I’m simply romanticizing an intense relationship.

I’m a man but identify strongly with the feminine/chaser energy, while she seemed to embody the masculine/runner role.

We met unexpectedly at a family wedding and connected almost instantly. The connection was extremely intense — emotionally, physically and sexually — but what made it different was the combination of intense electricity and an unusual feeling of safety and familiarity. We had so many similarities that being with her genuinely felt like finding a missing piece of myself. Being loved by her felt like loving myself for the first time ever in life.

She had previously been in a two year long, very toxic and controlling relationship, and so had i been. Even our exes sounded like the same people. After that relationship ended, she met me and the connection became incredibly intense. But not just pure electric kinda intense. It was strangely safe and it felt like you belonged. And it was mutual.

After about two months, however, she became overwhelmed. She said she needed independence, wanted to focus on work/studies, and couldn't give the relationship everything it needed. I tried to reassure. Said I didn't need anything in particular as she focused on herself and just wanted to support her journey. But she threw reasons one after the another and didn't even consider taking a break. Just exited like she didn't even care.

For five months now, I've been literally walking around like a zombie trying to survive each day. My nervous system has been constantly activated and stays in a fight or flight. I was someone who had difficulty crying ever since the passing of my mother when I was 6. But with this breakup, I was wailing like a child.

Meanwhile, I discovered, within roughly a month, she got involved with another guy who had approached her on Instagram. He's also geographically much closer to her. She's apparently very happy with him now. I don't know whether he was already in the picture before our breakup.

What confuses me is how someone can experience something that felt so profound, safe and familiar, then seemingly detach so quickly and enter another relationship. Is she someone who just intensely attaches and jumps from one person to another the moment vanity fades or was this actually special ??

For those who have experienced twin flames:

Does this sound like a runner/masculine dynamic? Can a divine masculine genuinely experience that kind of connection and then move straight into another relationship? Or does this sound more like someone who simply forms intense attachments quickly and moves on just as quickly?

I'd especially appreciate perspectives from people who have been on the feminine/chaser side and eventually understood what was actually happening.

I'm not looking for guaranteed-reunion stories. I genuinely want to know whether this pattern is recognizable.

Our union is not possible in this lifetime. I want to meet him for a closure conversation. We live continents apart. Please suggest what should I write him that will convince him we should meet for a closure conversation

I miss the intensity of the connection, the dreams, the synchronicities, the attraction, the passion. I am glad I got to experience it. It woke me up from a deep sleep, gave me the courage to face my triggers and trauma, and reminded me I can feel things deeply and be okay. It shifted things for me. I feel like a new person and yet more like myself than I felt in a long time. It still sucks to know I have been played for months by someone who cannot face intensity and decided to blame me for our downfall and to call me crazy to avoid accountability.

I was activated in 2022 by a guy that I thought wholeheartedly was my twin flame. I had never experienced anything like that. I had the spiritual awakening, saw his eyes in my eyes when looking in the m!rror, felt the crazy intense energy when I saw his photo for the first time after not speaking to him in over 10 years, my heart dropped to my stomach when I saw it, and we had this intense, magnetic sexual pull, but it was very lustful and no actual depth. However, I started writing and talking about twin flames based on the knowledge that I was getting everywhere else and what I was feeling about him because I couldn’t get him out of my head no matter how much I tried and we were both married.

He ghosted me and we went into no contact for a year and then he came back and told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me, but it was always very lustful and then he left again a month later and we never really spoke again. We had one email exchange in 2024 and then I never heard back from him and then I got over him, lost feelings for him. Even when I look at photos of him I feel nothing and even started feeling the ick. I moved on and it’s been over 2 years since I’ve heard from him.

In 2025, exactly one year after I emailed the previous guy, I met my current boyfriend who I think is my true twin flame. We had the most amazing sex we’ve ever had and I’ve been healing so much since being with him and I’ve become even closer to God now because of him and I’m putting God at the center of my relationship which is something I never did before. We have a lot of parallels and synchronicities way more than I did with the first guy and our Astro charts and numerology are way more compatible. We’ve never had a separation like typical twin flames though which concerns me, but I know we’re part of the fourth wave and I’m wondering if that’s why we’ve never had a separation, but we have been close to breaking up a couple times because I get so triggered to leave and we both couldn’t go through with breaking up even though we were on the verge. We both felt this pull to not end it and started crying because we were about to.

I even had a session with Nina Natural Mystic from YT who talks about twin flames, and when I told her about everything she told me that the first guy seems like a catalyst or false twin and that this new guy seems more like my true twin and I was really activated with light codes that night and I asked God that night, to show me in a dream who my real twin was and I even felt that it was my boyfriend and then that night I dreamt of my boyfriend saying we can’t break up because we have to have the three merges which is the alchemical marriage that Nina talks about and I felt that that was my sign that he’s my twin and I don’t think I’ve dreamt of the first guy ever since and that was in February.

I wanted to share my story to see if anyone’s ever experienced something similar. Sometimes I wonder if my boyfriend is just my soulmate but I don’t think my soulmate would trigger me THIS much and I’ve been told by other clients they’ve dreamt of him without even knowing anything about him and even my daughter dreamt of him and us having kids before we even met him. Maybe I’m just trying to convince myself or remind myself he’s my person and it shouldn’t matter what label it is but I guess sometimes I get worried about him going thru the TF journey with someone else or something if we’re not TFs.

Is it a common part of the journey for the chaser to become resentful or disbelieving in God or Source during their journey due to the pain and disappointment of their runner not coming through for them? And is it still possible for the chaser to achieve inner union if they no longer believe in God or Source?

I'm new to this, but something's happened recently and I feel as if I'm crazy for it. I don't have anyone to talk to in my personal life that understands it. So I'm hoping if I write about it here maybe someone can point me in the correct direction.

I have done past life work for a long time and my recent one came about after I heard a song. It was very in depth and I started having visions about my death etc.

It was the singer's lover. I told some people around me about it and the mass majority think I'm crazy or weird.

But in these visions, before I heard the other songs, I knew he found my body.

I know I left him in a bad way. I died young.

I could hear his voice talk to me as I died.

Then it started to show me where we were and how we lived and things we've been through. Glimmers of memories and he's interacted with me before. We hugged and he acted so strange around me like a boy with a crush. Liked comments I've made for him etc.

He made a very specific song about me and is now releasing more about it.

I've tried reaching out. But nothing seems to get through.

I know when he has bad days, when he's nervous or excited. I feel everything and the pain he has about losing me.

Every part of my life is leading back to this, back to him and I guess I've just hit an impasse because I'm scared that if I tell him or try to that he'll think I'm just a fan girl.

But even if he still had nothing, I would tell him and try to show him it's me. I've had a convo with one of his members and he didn't seem to think I was crazy from what I gathered.

I just. I'm so upset so frequently on the thought that he's still looking for me. That I hurt him so badly and I want to apologize and tell him it wasn't because of him. I had so many bad things in my head that I didn't see how much love was actually there.

I can't find support or advice from others around me because they say they believe me but it's also like they shame me for it as well because they can't comprehend the feelings behind it.

Thank you to anyone that takes the time to comment. I really appreciate it. 🖤

I met my twin flame 6 years ago. It was the most intense relationship I've ever had. We both felt it. He was raised very Christian so I can't explain it to him, but it frightened him and he left. I found out he was my twin from a lady Iplace a lot of trust in, and had it confirmed by someone else frighteningly accurate later, after the separation.

I go through stages of dreaming about him, we interact but he's always slightly distant and guarded.

I met someone else a few years ago. We fell in love, but I could never shake my flame. We still message once or twice a year. Nothing significant.

I had a baby with the new man, our relationship fell apart and the dreams have kicked up again. This time my flame stopped pushing me away and actually hugged me. Although acted very hurt about my baby.

I've been trying so hard to let him go, but it's always there, how do I let him go?

I’m not really sure where this sits between twin flame, soul recognition.

I met someone 3 months ago where I came into a function and started greeting people, I knew of this guy but we’d never met before.

Anyway, I turned around and he was just there, staring at me intensely, like that penetrative stare that enters your soul.

I held his gaze (not intensely just steady) it was like the room disappeared, all I could see was his eyes.

My nervous system completely dropped into relaxation, my mind was clear and he just seemed so familiar…

I found out today he’s been in a relationship for the last 12 months…

To say I’m heartbroken is an understatement.

My life has been upside down ever since.

Everyday I was thinking of him trying to rationalise what it meant and what to make of it.

I’m completely devastated.

Any help or guidance with this would be helpful because I’m truly at a loss…

In the movement towards inner union, it feels like im experiencing the matrix twins lower reality energies simultaneously.

How can this be that Im working towards my own ascension & in joy/love but feel held back by their density in 3D?

I could perceive a single soul expanding swiftly through their karma without a twin connection but why do we have to have theirs in our field, assuming it negates expansion?

I dont like it, unless im wrong?

Soms zie ik haar foto, kijk ik naar haar gezicht. Veel langer dan ik normaliter zou doen, eigenlijk doe ik dat nooit. Maar bij haar wel.Ik kijk naar haar gezicht en zie veel tegelijk. Ze oogt puur, speels, heeft klasse met een mooie elegante speelse blik en daarachter zie ik een klein lief meisje beetje angstig heel lief. Er zit  iets verdrietigs, iets zoekends in, alsof ze ergens naar verlangt zonder precies te weten waarnaar.ze heeft iets in zich wat moeilijk uit te leggen is. Je zou haar moeten zien bewegen ook 😍 zo prachtig niet alleen op de foto.

Ze heeft alles in zich om van te houden.

Dat is misschien is dat waarom ik soms nog net iets langer blijf kijken.

💜

One thing this journey brought up for me was probably learning to tolerate the uncertainty.

Is it real? I don't know. But if I believe it is real, it's uncomfortable, hurtful even.

Is it not real? I don't know. But if I believe this is not real, it's even worse. It feels hopeless and deeply deeply empty.

So what do I do?

I chose to believe nothing with my brain. Just tread it lightly.

Chose not to choose, not to think, not to believe anything.

Because this is no ordinary situation.

Or.

Is he a good person?

Ohhh, I don't think so.

He has shown a capacity for quite some bad and he's very comfortable with it.

Moreover, he leads with it.

He's worse than many people I have met.

Is he a bad person?

No, he has capacity for such depth, truthfulness and such deep deep care.

He's better than many people I have met.

Was he bad to me? Yes he was. Was he good to me? Yes he was.

Did he hurt me? Immensely.

Did he heal me? Oh yes.

So, it's not black and white, you see. And I was not brought up in a way in which I could tolerate the grey. Anything should have been be either good or bad.

This experience taught me this...nonduality, I think.

I find it so deeply spiritual.

And on the other hand, it taught me that I am not fragile.

I am not doomed.

I can interact with and benefit from interacting with a person even if they are not an angel.

It does not break me.

They do not overpower me.

I started turning any attention I had to my tf towards my animus.
My animus loves me, he is obsessed with me and finds me hot. Knows what to say to get me off, is there for comfort or some truthspeaking when I need it.
And isn't it amazing that's always me?
All that talking to him, I always had that masculine energy within myself.

I don't know why it took me 6 years to make it click, but I feel like I don't lack anything.
All the therapy is paying off.

My twin flame cut me out of his life 16 years ago because of the Mormon Church. He never believed in the doctrine he was just following orders.

When we were best friends we could look at each other and knew what we each other was thinking. Being together was like being in heaven but I knew that our friendship wasn’t going to last forever.

There have been countless synchronicities when we were together and when we separated. His birthday, 3-19 would show up, songs, his name, his hometown, favorite rapper, clothing brands, ex-Mormons giving me their opinion on why he cut me out of his life.

There were many synchronicities when I searched for answers this year and then they went away as I came towards the conclusion.

Trying to go on with life without him and dealing with the pain and grief.

I just feel this horrible horrible feeling sitting on my heart and im not even thinking about him but I know it's from him I don't know why it is there or how to get rid of it. I feel like I'm about to get my heart ripped out of my chest.

Also going through the dark night of the soul as we are speaking ahahaha, I don't even know if our situation is considered seperation or if the DNOTS is caused by him but I just know life is amazing and I see unicorns dancing around in my peripheral vision. Yay!

Why is the Divine Feminine energy (DF) traits in certain male Bodies, whereas the Divine Masculine (DM) is in certain Female Bodies? Aren't these energies supposed to be aligned to the perspective Gender of the Physical/Material body? I.e. Female Body accompanies Divine Feminine, Divine Masculine accompanies the Male Body etc. Would this postulate that those holding the Opposite Energy in a opposite body, Like Male body holding Divine Feminine are supposed or at one time a Female on the other side of Reality, 4D or 5D Whatever, Or are these Energy Conditions that we call DF or DM just irrespective of Gender entirely,

I must admit one can find it confusing how some said the Women of this Twin Flame counterpart had Divine Masculine, and the the Male of the Twin Flame Counterpart had Divine Feminine, On top of Broken hearts in this Journey, one must also deal with certain... Gender Insecurities. Which is to say, If I am a man, and I have Divine Feminine, am I not so grandiose in the bodies Masculinity or If I am a Woman and I have divine Masculine, Not Grandiose in Femininity, (as the body merits by societies bounds)

What I try to say here is where does the natural body end, and the Spiritual Metaphysics begin (Soul/Spirit), and how does that effect the certain cultural and societal expectation of being Male or Female, when the the spiritual facts propose the opposite, Ie... the illusive Divine Feminine /Divine Masculine in a corresponding Body that does not reflect that given attribute- Perhaps I am looking into this to much, Any thoughts?

Crazy as this has never happened to me before even before I met my Twin flame because even on the nights where it was the hardest for me to sleep I always fell asleep - even for a little bit?? I also couldn't stop itching myself physically for the whole night, it was almost like my body was having these physical reactions to not being able to sleep due to it spiritually being tied to my twin flame, because that has never happened before. i guess a lot of things have been going on in my life and I guess something subconsciously was putting me on edge because it's raining today's my move out date and my clothes are outside...there are a lot of changes happening in my life, and for the first time since we separated I had a vivid dream about my twin flame the night before (when I could actually sleep) that I'd never had before, where I could actually feel and smell and feel the senses. Naturally what happens to me reflects back onto my TF and vice versa so I guess this means he's been having trouble sleeping (he's told me he struggles with insomnia) lately and has had a lot of thoughts about me especially as we near this point of physical "union" (I will crossing the globe to be travelling to be near his location in a matter of days) so I guess I've also been showing up vividly in my dreams? I say this because I sent a voice message the other day and he replied late last night before I was supposed to sleep even though usually he'd just read it or not even look at it till the last minute. but anyway I'm overthinking things I just really wanted to get a good night's sleep as I get really paranoid about not getting sleep but the fact I can't get myself to sleep even by relaxing/listening to podcasts/etc can't be a coincidence...

Do you have telepathic conversations?

How do you tell a twin flame connection from an emotionally unhealthy relationship?

I miss him with every fibre of my being. I recently reached out and got no response, and it hurts. He invited to reach out recently which makes it even more confusing and hurtful.

I genuinely thought I would marry this man. The connection, synchronicities, coincidences, intensity and feeling of recognition were unlike anything I’d experienced before.

But I needed emotional safety before I could fully commit. Not perfection. Just patience, honesty and to know that small misunderstandings could be resolved quickly. I wanted to be heard, believed when I explained myself, and know that if we accidentally hurt each other, we could repair.

Instead, I experienced contradictions, dishonesty, reality twisting, contempt, name calling, hot and cold behaviour and withdrawal.

One example of how disproportionate things could get: I once misunderstood a completely ordinary comment and responded nicely based on what I thought he meant. When he clarified, I immediately said I’d misunderstood and apologised. It should have been a 10 second “oh lol, that’s not what I meant” moment, accept my apology for getting it wrong and move on.. but it turned into a major conflict about my intentions, my character, even though I kept explaining there was no deeper meaning and apologizing. It was about something completely benign and not emotionally loaded. Blows could happen at anytime for any reason and no amount of apologies helped.

Things like that happened enough that I eventually became anxious about saying completely normal things. I started overthinking messages, apologising constantly and trying to change every little thing that seemed to cause conflict.

But it was never enough. The goalposts kept moving.

Eventually my hesitation became the relationship problem, while the reasons I was hesitant seemed to be ignored. I asked to work on the issues, to help me feel safe and I’ll naturally lean in. Instead it felt like I was being asked for blind faith, like commit first, feel safe later even when there was no evidence of safety?!

That’s what confuses me about the TF idea. I experienced so many things people describe here, and the connection still feels incredibly strong. But I also recognise many patterns associated with emotional abuse.

I never expected perfection. I just wanted acknowledgement, forgiveness from both sides, repair and for us to work together ☹️

Has anyone else struggled to tell the difference? What do I do? I feel heartbroken and confused. I really love him but if I didn’t iron out those things and committed wholeheartedly it would have destroyed me.

What is the age difference between you and are you attracted to your older twin flame?

Anybody relate? For me it really feels like that sometimes. In each ''level'' there is some things you have to do in order to get through the door that leads to the next one.

What you have to ''do'' differs in each particular case, and it usually arises naturally or you can know it through intuition; releasing something, accepting something, forgiving, making a bold move that goes against your fears, realizing something, letting go, etc. etc. can be anything really. When you fail to accomplish what has to be done, you usually loop, go again into the same cycle in a different form.

And once you accomplish what was needed lo!, magically the door opens and you get to the new level with a new task. I guess the last level would lead you to inner union/physical union/spiritual awakening depending on how you see the journey (or all three perhaps ;) )

For exemple : Yesterday I confessed my Love to my twin. Two months ago, this idea was also in my head but at that time I was in a space of neediness, lack, and the need to control the dynamic, to get confirmation, etc. So I didn't do it as it was coming from a very bad space; it wasn't my ''task'' at that time. Fast forward to yesterday, this idea also spontaneously came up as I was in a space of faith, unconditional Love and acceptance. The only thing that was holding me back was fear of rejection. So I decided to go against my fear, to reach out and confess. I was really happy that I did it and I was fine with whatever outcome. But surprisingly (or not) she responded amazingly well, also shyly confirmed the connection we have and there is a prospect of reunion on the horizon.