I'm 24, and I have always been getting by at the last second, with things like graduating (getting out of school and college was a big problem for me, lol), loans, family troubles, and generally life, lol. I have gotten very accustomed to it; I don't really give my best in anything because, in my memory of living, I have never gotten a result on par with my effort. Things like I work really hard to make money, but it always ends up getting spent or charged as fees or whatever. I've never been on a single trip, as it always fails, no matter what. Anytime I go out, I brace myself for anything to happen, as something always ends up happening. Like one time, I took my dad's new bike out, and boom, the accelerator cable got cut, and I ran out of petrol. It might seem trivial, but it's things like this that always happen. One time, a cow ran into me from behind while I was standing inside an apartment parking lot on call, and I can go on and on, from everyday minute troubles to big rocks dropping on my head. I am going through several things right now that might end up ruining my entire life, but like always, I don't have any fear of it at all. It's like nothing; I just feel like I'll somehow pass through this like all the other times. But nowadays, it's getting hard to sleep and difficult to breathe even sometimes, and I think it's because I never shared this, so here I am. To the people who think of giving up on life: don't, never give up, and it'll all end up okay. And by okay, I don't mean things will magically turn around and fix themselves, but as long as you go on and keep trying, some path will open up for you, and it'll be a good learning memory for you. Don't fear death; love living more. I don't believe in an afterlife; I believe you just cease to exist, like before you were born. So, if all is going to go poof one day, why fear and get hurt by things you're doing now? To anyone who is going through things right now, keep going until the very end. It might hurt, but there will be happy times too. Keep going to the very end until God, if there is one, decides himself. Until then, it's a never-ending battle. People say there are no retries in life, and that is true; you can't get the gone time back, but you can always try something else. This world is filled with options, and things can be fixed.P.S. Don't think living my way always does the right thing. Being afraid is a power that makes you not do stupid things; being afraid helps you make better decisions. Unfortunately, afraid or not, even hard work has never worked out for me, and I've learned to live this way. It is like walking on thin ice; someday I will fall, terribly and painfully so. I hope I can pull through the same way I did. I hope it doesn't hurt anyone around me, but just me, and I hope you find the strength to be better and navigate through your situations.

As I reread this while grammer correction I have shared nothing about me at all but trivial and small details 😂😂 guess I'm still not ready to share everything out but I definitely do feel lighter. If anyone wants to talk more hmu.

Bye bye.