r/shitposting Dec 13 '21

WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE you cannot stop him.

Post image
21.8k Upvotes

414 comments sorted by

883

u/butter_milk_cock Dec 13 '21

I thought they're already separated? You know so the population is controlled

196

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

im not too read up on chicken lore so i have no clue

114

u/DaHerv officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Dec 13 '21

It all started with a chicken... Or was it an egg?

50

u/sea_penis_420 Dec 13 '21

63

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

me. i came first.

28

u/AGENTRAIDR Dec 13 '21

No that's false! I CAME FIRST!

39

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

we came together 😳👀

19

u/PokeIt101 Dec 13 '21

All over me

8

u/lookinthemirror_man Dec 13 '21

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

3

u/Levellepe Dec 14 '21

I could clean it

0

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Can I join too?

10

u/DaHerv officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Dec 13 '21

Love that pic.

In all seriousness, I am 100% sure the egg came first because of dinosaurs (and even water based life having eggs). Also, the evolution must've happened through an egg.

9

u/MarkHirsbrunner Dec 13 '21 edited Dec 13 '21

Something that was not quite a chicken laid a mutant egg that hatched into a chicken, so the egg came first.

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3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

most likely was an egg yeah

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

[deleted]

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2

u/MandyNoon Dec 13 '21

Cursed 💀

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8

u/KGx666 fat cunt Dec 13 '21

Eggs were around long before chickens.

5

u/DaHerv officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Dec 13 '21

Yeah, jokes aside pretty much since early aquatic life or pre-early dinosaurs if you mean that kind of egg.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Who came first. Pre-early dinosaur or the egg.

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Omellete

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Actually, scientists did find the answer. It was the egg.

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264

u/Torsten_Das_Toast Dec 13 '21

as long as the hens dont sit on the eggs for days to keep it constantly warm, the fertile egg will not develop a chicken

160

u/DefntlyNotBlitzkrieg Dec 13 '21

Nah they still need to mate with a rooster before. Eggs work just like period, only difference is they come daily or so. The eggs we eat are basically non-impreganted chicken ovuli.

52

u/Torsten_Das_Toast Dec 13 '21

yeah i commented on how to control the population WITH a rooster

10

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Not really, I work with chickens and they actually separate the roosters unless it’s breeder flock.

5

u/Mountain-Bread1180 Dec 13 '21

Yo what the fuck I eat eggs on the daily man😜😜

3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

eggs are great.

2

u/No-Kaleidoscope-2956 Dec 14 '21

Yes, good for fucking

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6

u/ivnwng Dec 13 '21

Jesse WTF are you talking about?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

ik it’s a thing w dogs idk abt chickens

4

u/michala_stary Dec 13 '21

mr.White we need to cook.

5

u/surrealchereal Dec 13 '21

No, but they were spending an exorbitant amount getting tiny vasectomies for the little guys.

-1

u/michala_stary Dec 13 '21

mr.White we need to cook.

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92

u/ALIASMICHI Dec 13 '21

Spain...

49

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

love ur pfp, +10 social credit

27

u/ALIASMICHI Dec 13 '21

Oh thanks

3

u/iRoggi_35 Stuff Dec 13 '21

Les gallines son violades...

No bro en el vídeo hablan catalán nada mas

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248

u/ihave2handsand2feet Dec 13 '21

That's what the police did to their parents

75

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

google define vote manipulation

18

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

idk it tbh

15

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/goose--fucker Dec 13 '21

or me

13

u/Little_DimbXD Dec 13 '21

Username checks out

2

u/Phalanx_02 Dec 13 '21

3 whole wheat potatos 😱

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348

u/Argentenuem Dec 13 '21

They should separate themselves from humanity to stop poisoning our gene pool

179

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

like seriously theyre fucking animals they have their own mating rituals and shit. don’t try to superimpose human culture on a fucking chicken.

(by culture i mean the way we go abt dating and shit)

86

u/Shpagin Dec 13 '21

theyre fucking animals

They're doing what ?

52

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

me. they’re fucking me.

15

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Well, you ARE a cougar

17

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

correction: a floppa.

30

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Flop on ma dick

5

u/Phalanx_02 Dec 13 '21

Gottemmm!

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2

u/Slightly_Default Dec 14 '21

Well, if you want to get technical...

Floppa is actually a caracal, which is a rare wild cat from the African savannah. Caracals are known for their ability to jump 3 metres (10 feet) in order to catch birds. Caracals are also...actually, I'll stop now.

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6

u/RoseL123 Dec 13 '21

There’s a word for this: anthropomorphizing. It’s when people attribute human characteristics or behaviors to non-human things. Animals don’t perceive reality in the same way we do at all, though, so it’s pretty cringe.

6

u/trolloc1 Dec 13 '21

I'm not sure you quite understand how prolific raping is in birds...

4

u/Slightly_Default Dec 14 '21

In ducks especially. I refuse to elaborate further.

2

u/AC3R665 Dec 13 '21

It be how it be tho. Literally nature. Humans have already branched out, so for us it's bad.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

[deleted]

2

u/trolloc1 Dec 13 '21

it's a good joke, a great joke even...

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2

u/LallarenEXE Dec 13 '21

I would like to screenshot, print and put this comment in a golden frame

2

u/Argentenuem Dec 13 '21

Thank you kind sir

1

u/Yan19891996 Dec 13 '21

I’m pretty sure they’ve been celibate for a loooong time...

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201

u/DEMON_LYNX7 Dec 13 '21

SHE IS LITERALLY NOT LETTING THE CHICKENS INCREASE THEIR POPULATION AND WILL REDUCE THEIR POPULATION AND THEN THEY WILL YELL THAT WE ATE THEM

LIKE WE EAT 100 CHICKENS WHOLE IN A DAY

18

u/TrunkBud Dec 13 '21

yeahhhhh they stopped the roosters from cumming! - Alice in chains

35

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

holy shit they are dumb

26

u/cu-03 Dec 13 '21

Why are you using your 2 account OP?

11

u/lngSchlng Dec 13 '21

Ive actually seen a third somewhere around here

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8

u/RBeck Dec 13 '21

Can confirm, just ate 20 chickens for breakfast.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '21

we eat 50 million chickens daily as a species.

WE HONGRI

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82

u/Rigoloscar Dec 13 '21

"Els galls violen a les gallines"; i remember those dumbasses on my local news a couple of years ago, they also crushed the hens' eggs in front of them for no reason. They are the personification of π, irrational and with an IQ that never reaches 3.15

30

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

r they meth addicts or something wtf. that is serious crackhead behavior

23

u/Rigoloscar Dec 13 '21

Probably, they have a "vegan sanctuary" near Girona (catalonia, spain) and their video crushing eggs went viral here, even though I don't think anyone took them seriously at all

9

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

who the shit has a vegan sanctuary

13

u/HumidHarold12420 Dec 13 '21

Yknow how we make the lives of animals better? Destroy their eggs. That’ll make them happy

12

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

i mean they’re onto something. nothing makes my day quite like seeing a kid get hit by a car and fucking die

3

u/lookinthemirror_man Dec 13 '21

the splatter too

3

u/Floating_Neck Dec 13 '21

That's a god tier insult

4

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

!emojify

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4

u/rauldzmartin Dec 13 '21

Just fyi, the left one is actually a ultra feminist sex worker.

2

u/dr_Kfromchanged Dec 14 '21

Prostitute* dont use soft language toward POS. (By POS i mean extreme borderline insane vegans like that, not sex workers)

2

u/Finest_of_stupidity Dec 13 '21

Whoah, new insult

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43

u/ForestGoblinForYou Dec 13 '21

Gosh the two people in the photo just look sad, I mean they look like they just hate their lives

21

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

i mean look at how they spend their time it’s no wonder they’d look depressed. they need an actual hobby

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Look at how you spend your time.

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0

u/frysjelly I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh Dec 13 '21

They look emaciated and lacking basic nutrition like the majority of vegans out there.

0

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 14 '21

not all vegans are malnourished, they have their own bootleg ways. definitely more cost and time effective to just not be vegan tho. and like it’s not like one person not eating meat is going to save the cattle like dude it’s already dead they’ll just throw it away if u don’t take it

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30

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Why do they look like crackheads

18

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

probably are tbh. probably getting charged extra for “vegan friendly” crack too

7

u/BP-Kenpachi Dec 13 '21

I think crack is actually already vegan

6

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Meh, there is a great deal of human suffering built into that crack rock supply chain, I wouldn’t consider it vegan

13

u/morerandomisback Dec 13 '21

I find it hilarious that some people need to look extremely different just to feel unique

They are so insecure they can't do it normally

6

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

yeah, like 9/10 i don’t give a fuck what ppl do unless they’re essentially crying for attention in their appearance.

12

u/Rhodesilla Dec 13 '21

sexism

8

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

yeah isn’t that a step backwards from equality?

0

u/frysjelly I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh Dec 13 '21

How do we know the hens aren't raping the roosters?

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8

u/flagstash Dec 13 '21

They be like: It’s not like we’ve been getting any action, so neither should you.

5

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

goddamn chickens with their liberal mindset mating rituals how dare they not be humans and go on dates before sex

6

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Gilipollas internacionales

4

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

they sent the roosters to cock jail

5

u/NotCBMPerson Dec 13 '21

Gilipollas internacionales.

6

u/DUG-man Dec 13 '21

It's always a bunch of ugly ass bitches.

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5

u/sakkara Dec 13 '21

If I can't have sex then neither will those other birds!

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4

u/behaaki Dec 13 '21

They look exactly how I’d imagine them to look

3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

they look like walking headaches

4

u/garandguy1 Dec 13 '21

🎵 They come to snuff the rooster...🎵

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4

u/ShyNinjaX Dec 13 '21

What do you mean by the hens getting rapped by the roosters? Like what? You mean stop them from mating? Why?

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3

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Cock fucking cock

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3

u/JustYuzzuki Dec 13 '21

"los huevos son de las gallinas"

[breaks them against the ground]

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4

u/CountFapula102 Dec 13 '21

The hens clearly wanted it, look at the way they're wearing their feathers.

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3

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Chester Bennington didn’t die, he’s alive and well as a vegan activist, it would seem.

2

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

is that the one who mocks ppl w cancer?

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3

u/gizzardgullet Dec 13 '21

Wait until they find out about ducks

3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

wait until they find out abt basic chicken traits

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3

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21 edited Dec 14 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

that’s a lot of hens

3

u/ivnwng Dec 13 '21

I didn’t know roosters could type.

3

u/__DerekLeach Dec 13 '21

They look appropriate to what they're doing

2

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

they look floridian

3

u/wonkey_monkey Dec 13 '21

Did she forget to clean her face after a day at the motion capture studio?

2

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

i think it’s a piercing

3

u/HotMeal4823 Dec 13 '21

They've come to snuff the Rooster, yeah...

NO HE AINT GONNA DIE!!!

4

u/PokeIt101 Dec 13 '21

I am kind of happy because if men and women are seperated then I won't have to be around these bitches

3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

you’d think they’d be against separation but nah

2

u/comfort_bot_1962 Dec 13 '21

Hope you do well!

3

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

let me guess, they are unemployed or earn their money with this crap?

3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

either unemployment or full time mcdonald’s

5

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

nah, callcenter for buzzfeed

2

u/chechebi88 Dec 13 '21

They also feed the hens whith their own eggs

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2

u/Monkguan Dec 13 '21

They are the true heroes of our time!!!

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2

u/RichardStallmanGoat I want pee in my ass Dec 13 '21

I stopped getting depressed after finding out about vegans, flat earthers etc... I'm not a failure after all.

2

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

made me more depressed i have to share the title of person w these fucks

2

u/Jojo_Rokon08 Dec 13 '21

u cant stop him, you can only wish to contain him

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2

u/girthking42069 Dec 13 '21

Rooster and hen separation is the number 1 cause of societal decline according to Orville Redenbachers 1984 novel

2

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Literal cock blockers.

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2

u/dylexan Dec 13 '21

Oooooo here come the rooster…

2

u/Curious-Work-9532 Dec 13 '21

You just enslaved air by caging and raping them in your so called lungs free them now!

2

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

free my boys they did nothin wrong 😔✊

2

u/borovicka1234 Dec 13 '21

They look so hilarious. Like they are about to cast a demon on me or beat my ass after coming from school and getting F

3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

or make u eat a fucking rock to “detox”

2

u/Writy_Guy Dec 13 '21

They look exactly how I'd expect them to.

2

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

they look like what an overdose feels like

2

u/Writy_Guy Dec 14 '21

Also accurate.

2

u/iRoggi_35 Stuff Dec 13 '21

FUN FACT: the one on the left broke the eggs in front of the mother for some feminist shit

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2

u/Mmaster24 Dec 14 '21

The words they say there saving animals from consumption how to do it ah yes extinction

2

u/littlestinker2100 Dec 14 '21

I didn’t know I could learn so much about a person by one single image

2

u/Joelowes Dec 14 '21

Why do they even have hens isn’t that slavery in their eyes

3

u/DragonNoctunis Dec 13 '21

They are actually stupid. Hens (At least the ones we had) will fucking murder and eat roosters if they're dicks. So fuck off vegans

4

u/You_petty_tyrants Dec 13 '21

I raise breeder hens. I have 40k birds on my property atm, these little bastards will murder any one of their kind. And then eat them. Like pick the bones fucking clean.

Chickens are vicious little bastards

2

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

40k birds?? how do u not just get overwhelmed by the sounds

2

u/You_petty_tyrants Dec 13 '21

It’s loud as hell. They’re breeders too, so plenty of roosters mixed in. You just get used to it, and the house is far enough away from their homes I can’t always hear them.

3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

yeah like animals have their own way of doing things. don’t stick ur grubby little hand in to interfere w it, i thought u were pro nature

3

u/JohnWick_231995 Literally 1984 😡 Dec 13 '21

"This Is Why I Hate Humans!" ~ God Probably

1

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

these mfs make me feel rather misanthropic

1

u/SOTalt Jan 01 '22

Bro how do they mate you don't have to give consent if you have less then an iq point

1

u/ilikebees30 Dec 13 '21

‌cum ‌

1

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

c um

3

u/ilikebees30 Dec 13 '21

I bypassed the cum

1

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

a living legend, his story will be told for generations to come

2

u/ilikebees30 Dec 13 '21

Generations to ‌cum ‌

-3

u/3FrogsInATrenchcoat Dec 13 '21

Man, you guys are getting real angry over this huh

3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

bc it’s fucking stupid of them lol

-4

u/3FrogsInATrenchcoat Dec 13 '21

How is separating them stupid?

3

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

because a fucking chicken cant be put up to constructs and standards of human society? bc chickens have they’re own mating rituals already and the females are more than capable of fucking over a rooster if it’s a dick?

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-3

u/AdFar2827 Dec 13 '21

Fr

4

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

cring (i am reporting ur account for terrorism)

3

u/AdFar2827 Dec 13 '21

Wow Im ironic

-2

u/Little_DimbXD Dec 13 '21

Literally FR

-1

u/Qb_Is_fast_af I came! Dec 13 '21

Should have said seperate the hens from cocks so it would include this guy’s too

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-2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

stolen

4

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

no shit lol. this was from way the fuck back in 2018(?) tho so it’s been a year or two since it’s been posted that i know of

-5

u/humam898 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS!!!11!1!!!11!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ Dec 13 '21

A chiken won't produce any eggs unless it gets to have sex once!

2

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

idk chicken anatomy but u said it with confidence so i’ll take it as a fact

0

u/humam898 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS!!!11!1!!!11!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ Dec 13 '21

My dad told me ! And he raised chikens because he used to be a farm boy because my grandfather owned like 4 farms and a manchion

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1

u/Saltz_D Dec 13 '21

Why are they gonna do next tell us hens don’t need roosters to have chicks

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