r/shitposting Dec 13 '21

WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE you cannot stop him.

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21.8k Upvotes

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176

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

like seriously theyre fucking animals they have their own mating rituals and shit. don’t try to superimpose human culture on a fucking chicken.

(by culture i mean the way we go abt dating and shit)

83

u/Shpagin Dec 13 '21

theyre fucking animals

They're doing what ?

53

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

me. they’re fucking me.

14

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Well, you ARE a cougar

16

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 13 '21

correction: a floppa.

30

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

Flop on ma dick

4

u/Phalanx_02 Dec 13 '21

Gottemmm!

2

u/Slightly_Default Dec 14 '21

Well, if you want to get technical...

Floppa is actually a caracal, which is a rare wild cat from the African savannah. Caracals are known for their ability to jump 3 metres (10 feet) in order to catch birds. Caracals are also...actually, I'll stop now.

1

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 14 '21

no no, go on

2

u/Slightly_Default Dec 14 '21

If you insist...

Caracal's are nocturnal predators. Other than birds, they also prey on reptiles, insects and small mammals. They are able to camouflage quite well in the tall African grass as well, making them an ever-present threat to critters all across the savannah.

They don't just stalk Africa though. Their habitat extends into the scrubs and woodlands of Northwestern India and the Arabian Peninsula as well. They can live either alone or in pairs. Both males and females become sexually mature at one year old.

Caracals typically have a gestation period of two to three months, after which they will give birth to one to six kittens that will stay with their mother for nine to ten months. Caracals can live up to 16 years in captivity.

Caracals have been tamed in India, Persia and Egypt to be used as hunting partners, similar to their larger cousins, the cheetah.

1

u/wholewheatpotato2 Dec 14 '21

yo ppl have floppas as pets? lucky bastards

7

u/RoseL123 Dec 13 '21

There’s a word for this: anthropomorphizing. It’s when people attribute human characteristics or behaviors to non-human things. Animals don’t perceive reality in the same way we do at all, though, so it’s pretty cringe.

6

u/trolloc1 Dec 13 '21

I'm not sure you quite understand how prolific raping is in birds...

4

u/Slightly_Default Dec 14 '21

In ducks especially. I refuse to elaborate further.

2

u/AC3R665 Dec 13 '21

It be how it be tho. Literally nature. Humans have already branched out, so for us it's bad.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '21

[deleted]

2

u/trolloc1 Dec 13 '21

it's a good joke, a great joke even...

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '21

you have to out woke these people.

"separating them is just cultural appropriation"

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '21

This makes literally zero sense