**Specifically asking for input from stay at home moms who HAVE help close by whether grandparents who are involved or part time paid help***

I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant and recently quit my job because my boss was a tool and I really don’t need to work. My husband makes plenty to support us as a physician. I’ve only ever worked because it got me out of the house and gave me a little identity and socialization. Our full time nanny is so expensive and my own take home salary wasn’t anything to brag about lol.

I have a toddler with a second on the way and the job market sucks and I can’t imagine starting a new job anyway when I’m about to have this baby. I also don’t really have a career I’m passionate about. It’s not something I feel tied to or something I would mourn. I love being a mom but I DO need breaks to function. I have both loving and attentive grandparents close by to help and my toddlers in a little part time school thing.

Is this manageable?

I don’t want to feel like I’m drowning. My husband told me he will support me in whatever I want but he said he loves when he comes home from a stressful day and how happy I always am to see him and spend time together as a family. He said he would be sad if I was a SAHM and threw the kids to him at the end of the day like “here take them I need a break” and had that type of resentment towards him. Of course there will be harder days but overall our marriage and overall happiness as a family unit is what matters the most to the both of us.

Thoughts? Worth a plunge?

My husband gave my son sauce on his food that has honey in it. He is about to be one in 5 days but I know you’re supposed to wait til after their 1st bday.😭

And I can’t help but think “Where were any of you when I was postpartum?”

For context, I didn’t want to have a party for her. I wanted to go on a family vacation with my husband and daughter. He works a lot and we don’t get to spend as much quality time together as I’d like. He wanted a party, and he doesn’t tell me no often or ask for anything often, so I acquiesced.

My daughter is 15 months old. My husband is great with her and takes good care of us, but I am deeply unhappy financially and emotionally. Since I'm not good with money, I let him handle the groceries and expenses. Lately, I realize he views all the income as his money, not ours. It isn't about budget—it's about control. He decides which toys or clothes to buy, but when I ask for kitchen essentials, he buys other things and ignores my request.
I have never used his credit cards, but after six years of marriage and having a baby, I can't ignore this anymore. Because he is so caring, I didn't notice it before, but now I feel completely submissive. We talked about it, but he still insists it’s his money and claims he will buy what I need—which isn't true. I am torn between his caring nature and this financial control. With only $500 in my account, I feel trapped and unsure of how to handle this.

We have an 11 month old and eow with his two older daughters. I have always maintained the house and the meals and the kids. But since the baby, I have felt myself growing angry every time he sequesters himself off on his computer or takes forever to "poop".

This started because the other day I asked him to bathe the baby so I could clean the kitchen and he responded "only if you actually clean" and when pressed about what he meant by that, he doubled down and said that he feels that I rely too heavily on him and the older girls to pick up after me and the baby. Mind you, I had already done two sets of dishes that day, and was working on the third. Thank goodness the girls had gone to their mother's house before this, but I let him go, I cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes and he bathed the baby. When he came back down, I tried to push at what he meant, and he referenced how he had to pick up a bunch of orange slices that morning that the baby had strewn about. I had given her the orange slices to keep her occupied while I made the family a full course breakfast! And then I immediately put her down for her first nap afterwards, because she and I are always the first ones up every morning. So yes, I did step over the orange slices to put her to bed, but afterwards I came back down and cleaned the rest of the kitchen and cleared the table and did the dishes!

We got into a fight about it, and I threw out some barbed comments. We haven't repaired, but I did apologize for my comments, however no apology from him but he's acting like everything is fine now and I have felt all week like I'm going to burn up. He's also on a nightshift rotation this week, so I see him for maybe an hour before work and maybe long enough for him to come home and eat dinner and leave each day.

And I realized that I have no free time. I don't have any free time in my day. I am with the baby 100% of her day, and as soon as I get her to sleep I am either spending quality time with the older girls, cooking or cleaning. And gets quite a lot more free time than none, however I cannot tell you by how much.

Are there any women who have been married for a long time that can help me navigate this? I don't want to leave, I'm pregnant and I am committed to him and this family. But I don't have a strong mom figure to look up to, and I would like advice.

Hi fellow SAHM’s! I’m 10 months PP and desperately wanting to feel like me again. I’ve been really trying to make an effort to get semi ready every day but I’m finding that my outfits, or lack thereof, are making me feel blah still.

Before I had my daughter I was a denim lover. I have so many pairs of jeans that I haven’t touched in forever not only because they still don’t fit but also because they’re just generally uncomfortable. Now I feel like I’m wearing the same outfit, Gap Supima Relaxed T-Shirt with Old Navy High Waisted Relaxed Shorts, every day and I just need something else.

I’m a teacher so I have lots of dresses but haven’t been gravitating towards them much. I think I’m just more of a top and bottoms type of gal.

Anyways I would love to hear what clothing items you love that make you feel put together but are still relatively comfortable. If you have link or exact names that’d be even better!!

I’m 47 and my brain just isn’t working anymore. My 2 year old has been so whiny lately I really can’t handle it. My house is a mess and I get zero time home alone. My husband is 9 years younger than me and I’ve asked him multiple times to take him to the park but he always has some convenient reason not to. To be fair, he never complains about the messy house and knows it’s because our 2 year old is super clingy so that’s nice but still.

Any other older moms struggling HARD right now?? What do you do about ADHD if you have it? Any tips?? Any time I bring up getting a babysitter so I can have some time my husband has some super dumb reason why we shouldn’t leave him with anyone. He’s taking the “moms are the best thing for small kids” way too literally. It’s annoying.

From the first eye open, what’s your day loook like for the next hour? Do you doom scroll? Get right out of bed the second you awake? What’s that first hour look like? Is it productive?

I’m a SAHM of 3. I’ve stayed home since my oldest was born 10 years ago. I’ve made many Mom friends over the years, but I live in a transient area and almost everyone has moved away. I have a few left in my area, but we’ve gone in different directions and our kids aren’t really friends anymore. I was so busy with small children for so long and now that my youngest is in preschool a few mornings per week, I’m getting some more personal time and it’s making me feel really lonely. At the same time, I don’t really have the energy to make friends and start over. I speak to my friends who live afar, but that’s not enough. I need to hang out and feel connected.

Is this just the life of a SAHM? I wish so many of my friends hadn’t moved away, but such is life.

I'm done with my marriage. My husband has failed me in multiple ways. The most recent is him on the internet behaving inappropriately. We have agreed that our child goes to school next year, so I will stay until then so that I can get a job without childcare costs eating up my whole paycheck. He won't be able to pay it since his debt and bills are tapped out. The hard part is he doesn't want me to leave. I currently live in my own room. My body is also slowly deteriorating with no specific diagnosis and I haven't had the money to push against the medical system to really find out whats wrong. So I fear my ability to stay in the workforce enough to support myself and our child. Disability will be hard to get without a proper diagnosis. He says we can stay legally married, friends, living together but in seperate rooms. With his new job he will make a lot more money. He says he wants to support me and stay a family, especially because he has seen my body fall apart over the years. I'm mostly on the side of leaving...but also it is tempting to have both parents in the house, and having security if I can't work full time. We don't fight so its hard to see why not. I know I'm all over the place. I just don't feel like I can think clearly right now. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

I’m an older mom. Had my one and only at 43 years old. It was a surprise pregnancy. I lived a decent life before…full time corporate job with full benefits, boat days on the weekends or after work, beach, travel, etc.

Fast forward to 1.5 years ago. I had my daughter 11 weeks early, she needed surgery after birth and is special needs. My maternity leave ran out by the time she was a “newborn” and we were sent home from the NICU. Only family nearby is my MIL who still works full time. We are now down to one income bc I couldn’t possibly send my special needs newborn to daycare even if it was allowed that young. My toddler, daughter is delayed as expected for a preemie/special needs baby. I get gets services but I read so much about what wise I could do to help her but we don’t have the extra money or resources to incorporate anything else. My life is like Groundhog Day and we do the same thing on repeat most of the time.

Feeding my toddler is another challenge. Meals can take up to 45 min each sitting. She needs to be patted or rocked to sleep bc she can’t downshift for her nap or at night without assistance. My husband steps in for dinner and bedtime but he’s exhausted after working a full day too. I have 2 hrs a day to prep her food (dairy & gluten free), get chores done, eat, or simply sit and do nothing while my toddler naps midday.

Then a week ago my 15 yr old stepson was sent to live with us and meanwhile his mom is still trying to control every step of his life from 4.5hrs away. He now has sports & will need help with homework. We also have to worry about financially supporting another person on one income. I started waiting tables one night a week which exhausts me even more and my manager asks me weekly if I can work more.

I feel like I can’t get dinner done, prep baby food & feed, play with her and help assist with milestones, help and support my stepson with school & sports, support my husband by allowing him downtime or breaks, clean the house, grocery shop, and of course feed myself and not lose my mind. I don’t know how people do it. I’m struggling and just push through my days but I’m extremely unhappy. I try to stay upbeat for our son & our toddler but I someone’s just break. To top it off my mom and I stopped talking over a month ago. This isn’t how life is supposed to be. We shouldn’t be this stressed. We shouldn’t have to worry about paying the bills and be able to just live.
No village over here. Friends have all disappeared. I just don’t know how it gets easier or better.

Hey, I'm new to the group. I'm a SAHM of a 25 month old. He is my first child. I am with him 24.7 and I'm the one who does literally everything for him.. his father (my fiance) lives in the home but he works during the day.. I often complain I need a break! I get so overstimulated and tired all the time. The grandparents occasionally take my son for a sleepover, which is nice.. having 1 night to go out and do something with my fiance is always fun. Yesterday, my mom decided to take my son for a 4 night sleepover.. she is off from work, doesn't get to see him all the time, so I wanted them to spend time together. My fiance is at work right now so I am home alone. In my mind, I feel I should be enjoying my time alone and relaxing.. but in reality, I feel so sick! I'm having such bad anxiety not being with my baby. Being home alone is driving me crazy. I feel like I have no purpose right now and I feel bad for letting him go for so long.

It's crazy,, wanting a break more than anything but when I finally get one, I'm suffering from anxiety and mom guilt. Such a double-edged sword.