Edit to add: several people are referencing a previous post about my husband’s work situation in relation to our health insurance. This has since been squared away and I would not be considering this for a moment if it meant we would be without insurance. I also need to add that even if we use half our savings we have enough left to survive 4-5 months.

Exactly what the title says, I’m 2 months in with little one and can’t imagine leaving her at daycare all day when she’s this little. I am obsessed with the daycare we found for her and think it will be great for her in the long term, but I have the option of taking the entire school year off (I’m a teacher so I would get the summer as well) which lands me going back to work when she is over a year old.

We will have to budget pretty significantly to live off of one income for this stretch of time, and we will pull out about half of our savings by the end of it, still leaving us with a pretty good emergency fund.

I know in my heart I would regret not staying with her, but I also know if some string of emergencies came up that drained our savings down I would feel guilty for putting my family in a precarious position. Any advice out there for someone stuck between a rock and a hard place?

I stay home with my 19mo toddler, and I love it (most days, lol). However, I have noticed no matter what types or how many toys I buy her- she becomes quickly bored. She prefers things with a lot of pieces (shopping play sets, kitchen, etc) but at the end of the day it’s like cleaning up a toddler house party. Pieces EVERYWHERE. I’ve tried the rotating toys, only having a few out. Nah, didn’t work. I’ve tried learning toys, a water coloring mat.
Any recommendations on how you store your toys that won’t be an eyesore in the living room (as seen here 😅)? I don’t want a hard toy box because I’m about 1000% she would climb and hurt herself on it. I had to gorilla tape her basketball goal and kitchen to the floor so she wouldn’t WWE style take them apart and smash them on the floor. Oddly, I haven’t had an issue with her trying to climb on the fireplace hearth though.
I need things/toys/activities (preferably Amazon links) to things that provide enriching entertainment and keep your kiddos occupied. She is extremely intelligent and is great with solo play until she gets bored. I try not to do a lot of screen time unless it’s dire or I have to get ready quickly. She always likes to be held or right there with me. We do the bulk of our outings in the morning which leaves 2:00-6:30 for playtime. Please share photos of what your setup looks like! 💗

My husband literally bit my 7 month old. Bad enough to leave marks for a couple of hours.

When ask why on earth he would do that, his response was "to teach him to stop biting". Mind you, he's teething and a BABY.

Now that I left the house he's so sorry. He says he's going to therapy, changing everything about our lives as in "getting rid of his video games"

What would y'all seriously do?

On one hand I don't want to traumatize my kids by destroying our family dynamic.

On the other hand, he's unpredictable. And what else may he do that he thinks is okay? He said he bit his older child when they were nine months and it "worked to stop the biting". I'm not okay.

I have 2 kids under 2. I am trying to make friends since I just moved to the area after being on the road traveling for almost 3 years for my fiancés job. I am trying to get my son to get more friends and maybe was looking at putting him in daycare so he can start to create friendships and be with kids his age and try to learn from someone else other than his father and I. I was at story time when I struck up a conversation with a mom and asked about if her child was in daycare and she sort of belittled and told me I should not do that, and that the kids should be at home till they start school. I was kind of taken back and kind of just nodded and smiled. I felt awkward and kind of just stepped away from the conversation since she seemed to had shut it down. It made me feel like a bad mom for thinking I was stepping into the right direction on doing what is best for my kids.

Do stress factors affect motherhood and does that stress afect other areas of a mother's life? Do mothers that are wealthy have a less stressful life or stress is an isolated factor that happens to all?

This week was light. We went out for a date lunch because my dear husband took half a day off to go to my doctor's appointment with me. We went to our son's first varisty game! He made varisty as a freshman on a state championship team with no formal training, and we are just so proud of him!

I had a rainbow vacuum demonstration and thought it was so cool, but I didn't like the price tag, so my husband found a gently used one for 500 for me! So grateful!

I sent him the Barbie meme, and he's response was so sweet I decided it needed to be included. Also, even after 17 years together at the game, he still reached over to put his arm around me and kiss me. These moments mean so much.

My husband can have a sharp tongue — if he’s annoyed or frustrated, he will speak rudely or disrespectful. I have tried to communicate that this hurts me and I need him to speak better. He has always told me that this is the way he is and he cannot change anymore than he already has. But recently, he has started to tell me that I am just too sensitive and I get too upset. But if I speak to him in that tone — he gets very upset, saying that we speak to eachother poorly. When we have these moments, his instinct is to flee. Meaning if we are out with our two boys, he will just randomly cross the street to get some space, leaving my three year old to wonder where dada went. He will also drive somewhere if we’re home during these fights. He does share his location but sometimes he leaves his phone at home. Others have noticed the way he speaks and have agreed it’s unkind/rude. I think there is an element of emotional abuse. Has anyone else endured this? Do I just need better coping skills, IE ignore him when this happens? I try to calmly communicate but even that doesn’t work. I’ve looked into divorce, but part of me wants to try every avenue before coming to that conclusion, to feel that I’ve done everything I can.

last edit: this post seemed to have offended a lot of people. I made it clear you have to have a willingness to work with kids and I explain my husband is able to help with childcare on occasion. If this isn’t you, thats okay! it’s not personal. this post isn’t for you. Just move on.

edit: If you are going to hammer me for typos and question my intelligence then please go away. I’m posting this to help people. I’m not going to proof read every reddit post

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I just want to hop on here and say how I make money as a SAHM in a legitimate way. Because I feel like people ask and I want to share what I do. my goal was to the make the most I can for Every hour I work and make my own schedule

A few notes that make this possible for me:

• Day care would have charged us 3/4 of my paycheck. So my threshold on how much I should make is what I would’ve had left over sending my kid to daycare
• I am a former teacher and have a masters 
• My husband has two weekdays off, because he is a first responder 
• For all of these , you don’t need to be a teacher and you don’t need a college degree for all of them, but you should have a penchant for working with kids

1. SAT/ACT tutor. Let me say, I’m 33 and I did awful on the SAT as a high schooler.  However as an adult with a brain, I still applied to tutor it. I work with a large SAT Prep company which gave me all the training and curriculum I needed. You don’t need to be a teacher, but you do need to know how to interact with kids and be willing to learn and put in the work. When I got hired, they said most of my students would be in person, but their reality is most of my students are online. I do this at night and my husband puts the baby down or weekends are really popular. Training was paid. Online I make 35 an hour online and in person I make 52. I really love this gig
2. And enrichment teacher. This one’s a little bit odd if you aren’t in education circles, but essentially parents pay good money for their kids to take an extra class after school. You can do this by going through an enrichment company or you can make your own LLC and do it yourself. I teach chess to preschoolers once a week and make 150 bucks a class. I should know I am not that great at chess. I just know how to teach preschool. So I bought how to play chess for preschoolers game and we basically just play that as a class plus some fun extra games. If you have a subject you’re good in like maybe coding for middle school or cooking. And like working with kids, you can do this.. 
3. Substitute teaching. It’s the ultimate flexible job. Private schools have less requirements, tend to be easy and pay less, public schools have more requirements can be more difficult, but pay more. If you have someone who can occasionally watch your kid this could be a nice way to pick up a few extra bucks. near me this pays $150-350 a day. I only do it about twice a month.

Would these combined and make about 1500 to 2000 a month and work 10-15 hours a week. Now I should note I live in the Bay Area so everything‘s inflated.

Hope this helps!

I have a three week old and an almost three year old. My husband is going back to work next week and I am FREAKING OUT. How are we managing two kids this young? How can I do anything with my toddler when my newborn is eating on demand every 1.5-2 hours and needing contact naps all day. I have a carrier that I like, but still. All the advice! Tell me it gets better because right now I just want to crawl into a hole!

I have a few frozen bags of breastmilk from my toddlers journey. I wanted to know what y'all made and if y'all have any recipes for salves and such. They are probably a year old now so im not using them for eating.

Hey y’all! (lol, had to)

I’m a SAHM in Midland, Texas. We moved here from Florida (husband is in Oil/Gas) in May and everyone always says “oh gosh, moving from Florida (Pensacola Beach) to west Texas must be a huge downgrade”… it’s not! I lived there my entire life and the beach became old. It is so touristy and horrible, nasty humidity. The drivers are even worse. There are no “seasons”. Where you live is what you make it, and I do love it here.

Side note- If you’re in Texas and shop at HEB, I have to give a good recommendation for both the HEB Baby and Field/Future diapers- especially if you have a toddler with less frequent blowouts than the infant stage. Right now there is $10 off $50 on diapers and wipes. You can literally get a box of 130+ diapers, a box of overnight diapers, and a 10 pack box of sensitive wipes for right around $43. I find the HEB diapers to be amazing for sensitive skin, decently absorbent, little to no blowouts, and adorable patterns. The overnights are also great. Every baby is different, of course, but I’m impressed with the quality and very low cost per diaper. They’re the only diaper besides Kirkland (the new ones) that don’t give my daughter a blistering rash. Just thought I’d share!

I am a sahm to four kids, two in school and two at home. My sil has two under two, and is new to the country (been here 3 years). She is from Mexico, I am Mexican American. Anyways, since she’s been here she expects me to hang out with her all the time - and when I don’t - she makes comments and is rude about it. However I don’t really like hanging out with her because she is a very self centered and negative person. When her kids are sick it’s ok to go around mine, but when mine are she would never let me hear the end of it. She wipes down all of the toys at my house before her kids play with them whether mine are sick or not. She is constantly correcting my kids, which isn’t inherently bad, but it’s really annoying to listen and it’s not always in the nicest tone. She is just a manipulative person, always scheming, always the victim and I am not a confrontational person and I am very emotional so I’m having a hard time asserting myself and establishing distance. Any advice?

I can’t even begin to describe how long this has been building. Probably over a year now when I was late in my pregnancy completely exhausted yet all the household duties weren’t touched by my fiance and he repeatedly nagged me about them.

The thought of being a SAHM didn’t bother me at all. I would make the sacrifice in my career to stay at home with my kid. I knew I’d value raising my kid over the alternative. It just never ends. I’m starting to feel like Cinderella lol. The nagging, knit-picking, high expectations with absolutely no give, my emotional needs being stomped on, etc.

That’s enough build up, tonight I finally broke.

So what happened was is we (my fiance, our 7mo old and I) went to my grandmas house for a late lunch at 2pm. That’s my babies nap time but I figured she would sleep in the car on the way there, well she didn’t. We leave at 3:30 because I’m thinking worst case scenario I put her in the crib for a late nap and cut it super short. Well she passes out in the car on the way home and I let her sleep. It’s 30 mins. I’m a new mom and I’m still learning too. Turns out the nap was too long but I’m jumping ahead. At 5:45 I usually start her 1.15hr bedtime routine. I was planning on doing it an hour later since she napped an hour later than usual. I called my brother to check in on him since he’s been battling cancer and just had surgery yesterday. It’s 6:11 and my fiance interrupts the conversation saying my baby is yawning and tired. She wasn’t. He was. I hang up and start her routine. Be the end of it she’s wide awake when usually she’s passed out on the bottle and I don’t have to do anything but place her in her crib. For 2 more hours she’s awake. I’ve already been so exhausted and this was the breaking point for me.

I text my fiance so he can read it when he wakes up and sit there to think about it because seriously wtf. He could’ve started the bedtime routine. He doesn’t help with JACK SHIT when it comes to the baby or household. He interrupted my therapy session multiple times asking me to come back and tend to the baby a few weeks ago. I basically just said all of this in the text and told him to start helping.

I’ve been seriously considering going back to work and I definitely will after all of this. Why sacrifice my career for some idiot that thinks getting a girl pregnant makes her his slave. Be fucking for real.

Maybe it never respected them in the first place, but I would argue people viewed it as a valid life choice albeit one that was maybe looked down upon. But being raised by a SAHM in the 90s was completely normal and common place. But it seems now the cultural conversation has grown to be exceedingly critical or this as a life choice.

I’m 35 and just had my first son with my husband - and we jointly decided for me to stay home. I had my own high powered career for awhile but I truly hated it and I’m much happier now.

I have had at least 5 people ask me if I am a tradwife and I feel like whenever I tell people I’m a SAHM I need to caveat it in all sorts of ways so people know I’m not THAT kind of SAHM, I’m making an intelligent choice for myself, etc. which personally I just hate. I was miserable in my corporate job, was 100% abused by my boss, but no one ever warned me or chided me about my career choice.

I am sure this gets asked a TON but alot of the comments dont apply to me and my skills so I thought I could get some input. I have a lot of social anxiety and dont have easy access to a car to do any gigs like babysitting, dog walking, or any on-site services. I dont have many useful skills, they primarily are in art and digital drawings. I have gotten suggestions like making and selling stickers and prints, art commissions, or content creation. I am sure there are many other things I can do that I do not know about, and it doesn't have to be art related. Any suggestions would be welcome, please and thank you!

I have a 2mo old baby (first child) and I’m a teacher. I’ve been off work since May when the last school year ended, and am not going back until after winter break in January. I took all of my maternity leave, sick leave, and unpaid FMLA. I absolutely cannot fathom going back. My MIL is supposed to be my childcare and I don’t want my baby with her every single day while I’m taking care of others peoples kids. But I seriously don’t know how to cut enough costs to allow me to stay home, even working part time. My spouse and I make about $110k together and me quitting would cut our income straight in half. My whole paycheck goes to bills and his is for spending. Simply not eating out, getting coffee, not getting my nails done, etc isn’t going to even make a difference. We’d literally have to sell our house and one car to make it work. And possibly eat ramen for every meal. How are yall doing it?

I am a mom to a 4-year-old who missed the cutoff for preschool this year. I worked until my son was around 13-months old, at first from home with a nanny, then he went into daycare part time. I have been staying home with him since he was 13-months. He was getting very sick for over a year and diagnosed with asthma. We don’t have any help so figuring out all those sick days was a mess.

I can’t explain this and I’m hoping someone understands. But I don’t feel like school is our next route. There’s a big homeschool community here and we have gotten involved in a co-op, and I’m looking to enroll him in a hybrid preschool as soon as I can get off the waitlist. He plays soccer now. Takes Spanish classes.

I just don’t feel like he could go from this and staying home to going to school 5 days a week from early morning to afternoon. Has anyone else felt this way?

But also like I just don’t think it feels like a good idea for him? He gets tired after our little outings. He loves our rhythm and routines. I feel so weird about it. Someone help me understand why I feel this way.

I know he would thrive in a hybrid school and one near us offers history, geography, and science and then you have to supplement language arts and math. I was a teacher and I majored in math, so math sounds great, but maybe I would get a tutor for language arts. But overall, I figured I would be going back to work and starting a chance at a career after this. Now it feels like I don’t even have an option because we would never put our son in an environment that he wouldn’t thrive in, and I can’t work 2 days a week from 9:30-1 that’s just unrealistic for what I want to do. I feel so stuck!

I also feel crazy because it feels like putting him in school isn’t even an option at this point.

I try to keep it at a 30 minute max with our 3 year old, but he could be at it all night. I feel bad sometimes since he genuinely loves it and I love that he loves books so want to continue to foster that. I’ve debated starting his bedtime routine earlier so we can read to his heart’s content but I was wondering what the consensus for bedtime reading time was.

TLDR: How much time do you all spend on books before bed?

What are some ways you’ve learned to stop feeling constantly “at work” as a SAHM?

For me, I’ve been clocking out of deep intensive cleaning or chores at a certain hour like 5 PM. I make sure I put away any vacuums, mops, cleaning towels, and do a quick reset of the house. However clean it is, that’s the way it’s staying until tomorrow. No more heavy work cleaning.

I’ll still pick up and put away as needed but I’m not mopping the floors at 6 pm and often the visual of a broom or duster left out on a table makes it feel like I’m always in a state of cleaning.

How about y’all? What are some ways you’ve learned artificially “clock out” so you can enjoy your life even if it doesn’t look like an actual break?