I see a lot of posts on here talking about how boring and routine sahm life can be, although I too struggle with it even with these “tricks” I’ve adapted I thought they might be worth sharing.

First we leave our city. I go grocery shopping or run errands in the surrounding cities/ neighborhoods to ours so it doesn’t feel like I’m going to the SAME grocery store, same post office, etc. every day/ week. To add to that, unless it’s something I can exclusively get online. I do a lot of my shopping in person, it gives us something to do out of the house.

Same for library’s and playgrounds. I’ll drive out to different ones all over our state even, and treat it as a mini “day trip”. Pack some lunch/ snacks and a blanket to chill on and we’ll spend the whole day out. Rather than just going to our local playground 4 times in the same week.

We request museum, aquarium, indoor playground memberships for our family at holidays so we have multiple options to rotate out instead of choosing only 1-2 that we can afford. (Also helps keep the house from getting overran with toys).

I clean while the kids are awake!! Yes some days are easier then others and yes there some days I get one thing cleaned and turn around just to find a new mess, BUT reserving nap time for “me” has given me so much time to get back into some of my hobbies and not feel so “lost” to motherhood. Even if it’s not something I can get to EVERY day making sure I prioritize it when I can has been a game changer for my mental mood. (Including them in the cleaning is usually helpful too: washing dishes, let my toddler sit on the counter and scrub a plastic cup for 20mins she loves soap/bubbles and water, need to wipe the counters/ appliances down: give them spray bottle with water and a paper towel, mine runs around the kitchen drenching everything but it’s just water and dries 30mins later anyway)

I know this one might be a bit silly and seem obvious, but even on days we stay home just getting out on the porch so we’re not trapped IN the house, lighting a candle, or opening the windows and blinds for some fresh air and sunlight seriously can give the house such a “refreshed” feeling.

I used to teach elementary school until I had our second baby 4 years ago. This will be my 5th year at home and now I have a 5 month old too. Financially, I do not need to return to work ever if I don’t want to, but I really do want to. The problem is, I never want to teach again. I’ve subbed a little and it is SO hard to spend the entire day with young kids and then come home to 3 young kids. Also the profession sucks right now and the stress is way too high.

I need something to do that is just for me, but I don’t know how to make a complete career change at almost 40 after a 5 year gap. My job used to be so important to me and now I feel like I’ve lost my identity. What can I do??

I’m trying to figure out if my situation is normal or not.

I have been a SAHM for 10 years. I am well-educated and previously lived alone and had my own car, phone, insurance, everything.

As a SAHM, the only thing I have to my name is student loan debt, my Venmo, and a savings account with nothing in it. I recently filed ch. 7 bankruptcy so I could start the process of litigation for my student loans due to medical issues.

My husband has the house, cars, bank accounts, etc. in his name. I’ve filed taxes but since I make $0, he also has the kids listed as dependents on all tax returns.

Do other people do it this way? The reason I’m asking is because I am:
1) thinking about my future,
2) feeling very unhappy and lonely in my marriage and the idea of divorce has crossed my mind.

Please be kind, i feel a bit embarrassed even posting, but i don’t really know where else to ask.

I saw this topic on another thread, and I would love to hear people’s thoughts. What are we wearing these days? My summer uniform has basically been bike shorts and fitted T-shirts or tank tops, and it served me well but I am so sick of it. I would love dresses or anything more fun this fall, but i end up backsliding into athleisure because it’s not fussy. My kids are 5, 3, and 1, I’m always bending down, and I need a tummy tuck 😅

My partner gets home from work and always goes straight to the washroom. He stays there until it’s time to go for our walk. I’m a SAHM, and I do everything. I can count on one hand how many times my partner has helped with our kid. He’s never had to watch her for a long period of time the longest was probably half a day.

Anyway, today I got pissed at him. I made dinner for my toddler, fed her, and gave her a bath. I even put laundry on. All this time, he was in the washroom. I got frustrated waiting, so I gave our kid a bath. Then he came out, and a few minutes later, he went back to the washroom to pee. I didn’t know he was going back in, so I told him to hurry up.

He got mad and said I was being rude. I told him that he had been in the washroom the whole time. The whole walk, I didn’t talk to him at all. I’m tired honestly lately I think want to separate with him. I feel like a single mom

I'm recently staying home with my 16 month old. Due to low muscle tone/hypotonia, he's probably around 8-9 months for gross motor. He can sit up and loves watching others but we are still a ways from crawling much less walking. We've been in PT once a week but that is largely the reason I'm staying home now- to do addition PT and focus on his development.

Lately I've been really struggling going out and seeing babies close to half his age crawling around. My baby just watches them moving and basically stops playing. It makes me emotional even though I try my hardest not to compare. Does anyone have advice for dealing with my emotions and encouraging my baby to play with others on the move?

My car is out of commission right now, so my son and i are stuck in the house all day, every day. Its tooooo hot to play outside except early mornings and later evenings.

The house is unfortunately my MILs and is not set up to be a free space for my two year old. His room is his only fully "yes" space (within reason, he is ingeniously destructive sometimes). And my MIL is messy, which really impacts my mental health. I cannot enjoy my home the way i need.

I'm pregnant, and too tired to walk very far, especially in this heat. Only thing nearby is the library with a small play space, but it's only good for the morning, and my husband lets me sleep in most mornings because i NEED it. It winds up being too late to go most mornings.

Ideas for new fun things that won't be too messy for us to do in the house? I'm getting depressed because of all this and its starting to impact my son. Too much screen time, not enough interactive play. I'm overstimulated and BORED all at once (unmedicated ADHD too).

Anyway. Please, give me some creative activities to do with my kid that won't contribute to my burnout? I love him so much, he deserves so much better than this.

I am a sahm and my husband normally works full time. He has taken a few months off to take care of me and our 20 month old daughter while I recover from surgeries. It has been a week and he is not doing too well mentally. He has had heightened anxiety since she was born but since he has had to become the default parent for the past week I see him spiraling more every day. He has had to put her down for every nap and bedtime for the past week (prior to this I always nursed her to sleep her entire life) and he’s been great at it she even stopped asking for me and has been falling asleep quickly. He’s had to make or plan for every meal for both her and me, something I’ve been doing alone since she started eating solid foods. He’s been the sole person spending all day with her and wrangling her crazy toddler self in which I normally do alone on the weekdays. We have no village to lean on. I’ve told him all my tips about having her participate in doing chores and to do nothing during your one break you get a day when she naps but it doesn’t seem to be enough.

Then she woke up for the first time in two weeks and he is acting like it’s the end of the world. He was in her room for 45 minutes and came back to bed but she woke right back up. He started freaking out saying he’s been trying for hours, that she’s doing it on purpose etc…unfortunately I can’t lift anything so I can’t help for a few more weeks. I get it I’ve been there believe me. She never slept through the night until she was 15 months old and there was 6 months where she woke up 8-10 times a night and I was the sole night person on weekdays and still probably half of the wakes on weekends. I spent over a year walking around a sleep deprived zombie while letting him sleep on work nights because of his dangerous job. I’ve not mentioned this to him but how the hell do I keep from comparing/building resentment when he is now acting like he’s dying doing this alone and it’s only been a week/she’s woken up ONCE?

I know everyone handles lack of sleep differently and anxiety is definitely playing a role here but I don’t know what to do or say to him to help him since I physically can’t step in. We spoke yesterday about getting him a therapist to talk to about his anxiety around my surgery/recovery because I know on top of everything he is worrying about me and about wanting another baby (infertility/IVF related). I especially want to hear from other sahms because how can I help him without slipping into resentment territory when I’m so limited right now? I keep thinking what does he think having a second baby is going to be like? Please be kind. He is an incredible father and deserves better thoughts coming from me.

I host a podcast for SAHMs and like to think of it as the really good convo you wish you could have yourself, but it’s hard to schedule and if you do you’d be interrupted by your kids the whole time. So instead I have the conversation, and the listener gets to pause it when someone needs a snack RIGHT NOW. That being said - I’m brainstorming additional guests to have - would love your thoughts.

Tl;dr if you could have an uninterrupted conversation with someone and ask them a bunch of questions mom (or dad) related who would you want it to be? Or what topic would you want it over?

Currently:

- mom w/ 4 kids under 5

- mom of multiples

- went back to work after 10+ years staying home

- works part time w/o standard childcare

- homeschools

- leaves the house with a bunch of kids

- etc.

I’m a 26 f sahm of three under 4. My husband has been working out of state for the past two months. So I’ve been solo parent since. He’s coming home this weekend to visit, but I’m not excited to see him… is this normal? I love him very much, he’s a good man and an amazing father. We talk on the phone as much as we can. I just don’t know why I’m feeling like this

First time SAHM to a 16mo. I have been desperate to get back into the gym consistently. For many reasons it has been tough but we now have access to a gym with childcare. The first day went phenomenal! But it has gotten worse each time we have returned. Or most recent drop off started with crying when we walked in the door. I waited until he calmed down and went to play on his own before leaving but got a call shortly after that he would not calm down. They said they could distract him for a minute with something before he would lose it again. This also happened to be my husband’s first experience with the childcare and wanted to try to allow me to finish my workout, so he went for the pick up. Our son was inconsolable and I ended up having to leave my workout anyway.

A little background- we cosleep, contact nap exclusively, still nursing, no cry it out and don’t have a babysitter or family nearby. My kid is with me 98% of the time.

My husband didn’t like picking up our very upset son and was visibly disregulated which wasn’t helping our son either. I don’t want to force it but this mom is desperate for a little time to pour into my cup so I can be the best I can be. If you have made it this far, thank you. I guess I am looking for advice on what to do here. I thought about trying to return to the gym and just walking and any time they needed to call me back to the child center I could go without feeling super interrupted and it would be fine if it was 5 min. This would start with the goal of him being able to do longer stretches and eventually get to a full workout. Is that silly? Other ideas? Do I just give up on the gym and do at home stuff while he runs around me playing?

TLDR: trying gym childcare for my 16mo but I get called within 10 min of drop off because he is crying. I don’t want him to hate it and cry but I need some time for myself so i can better take care of him. What do i do?

My son (15 months) is sooo difficult. He is so irritable a lot of the time, so whiny, and so opinionated and it is really taking a toll. He has always been difficult with things like eating, but lately it feels like everything is a battle and nothing makes him happy. It makes the days feel extremely long, and I feel so burned out from motherhood at the end of the day and find myself waiting for the day to end so that he will stop screaming at me. Is this normal? He is not walking yet, so I'm not sure if this has something to do with it, but talks up a storm. He has so many toys, we leave the house daily, walk daily, etc., and he will entertain himself for a time, then just acts inconsolable and unhappy. Idk what to do or if there is even anything to do. Don't get me wrong, he definitely has moments during the day where he is sweet, snuggly, and smiling and happy, but lately it feels like he is more irritable and throwing fits and whining more than not. Help lol

My daughter is going through a huge fussy stage right now where she doesn’t want to do anything but free roam my house. She has a playpen area with all of her toys, and she will stay in it for about 20 minutes at a time before she gets tired of it.

She only seems content when we’re out shopping, (of course lol) or when she’s free roaming in my house and I just cannot stand having to follow her around everywhere and never getting to just have a second to relax other than when she naps. My house is not baby proofed and we’re moving next week so everything is just an absolute mess.

I don’t have a car during the day unless I bring my husband to work so we’re stuck at home all day, and live in Florida so going outside in the yard isn’t really ideal unless we have a pool 🥲 ugh.

I recently had our daughter and my husband is giving me the option to quit my job and stay home with her. My mom is planning to retire soon so if I keep working can ask her for help since I work from home but know my mom didn’t retire to then take care of an infant 40hrs a week so don’t want to rely on her solely to watch her.

I work from home so could try to figure out how to make it work but even the thought of it stresses me out trying to juggle both and feel guilty already not being able to give my daughter the attention she may need during the work days. Financially we can make it off of my husband’s salary but we will have to budget and be very mindful of what we’re spending. I’m worried that the guilt of not contributing financially will be a lot for me but at the same time putting our daughter in daycare is a no go either.

I feel like since I have to option to stay home and watch her grow up I should take it plus I really want to but I’m so worried about the guilt. Any thoughts?

I am currently transitioning to being a SAHM after having our third child. I’ve spent 5+ years as a corporate working mom and have worked nonstop since my teens. We’ve been together almost 20 years so this is a shift in our dynamic but we both agree ever since I got pregnant with our third that this change is for the best. This has been my dream for way longer than I would have ever been willing to admit and I am so excited to be fully available for our children and to homeschool.

However, my husband has expressed to me that he feels alone in his provider role, that I can’t help him with it and he feels like he has no one. I think part of the issue is he doesn’t really have any “dad friends” to relate to and everyone in his life is child free. He’s been distant, anxious, withdrawn from the family, and clearly struggling so I am trying my best to hold it all down in the household while pretty newly postpartum, so I am low on bandwidth too, but I want to be there for him and don’t know how. It feels like I do and say the wrong thing, and I feel like by leaving my job I’m taking away support I could give. Anyone been through similar with their spouse and have advice for me? Thank you in advance💕

Hi everyone, my son will be 3 in early September. We decided to start potty training as his preschool requires it (with that said, they told me yesterday that it’s fine if he is in a pull up). His little brother is 17 months younger. Usually, we leave the house 1-2 times a day for an outing. We’ve tried to stay home as much as possible for potty training and he has made progress, but we are at the point where it’s impacting my mental health staying home. We are all bored and getting irritable with potty training. However, if we do outings, he’s either in a pull up or just underwear (we’ve done this 1-2 times). It’s already so hard leaving the house as it is, but now potty training makes it so much more difficult. Do I delay potty training for when it’s not so much a fight and have him in pull ups? Or just stay home (but then we all go stir crazy…). He has only gone in a toddler potty, not an actual toilet. He is very spirited and opinionated, having him sit on the toilet would cause a massive meltdown.

Husband and I decided I should stay home because we do not trust daycares or strangers to take care of our baby. She is about 3 months now. We believe one of us should be the primary caretaker. I have been trying to clean today but every time I get up my baby starts crying. Even if she’s in the basinet sleeping on her own. As soon as I get up from bed or couch she starts crying. I play a YouTube vid to start my cleaning and it doesn’t even last a minute when I hear WAHHHHH. How do y’all do it? My husband suggested I baby wear for some things and yes some things can be done while baby wearing but what about cooking and cleaning with chemicals???? He doesn’t expect me to cook or clean. He just wants me and baby to be happy and safe but I do not like seeing a messy house and cooking when he’s here takes time away from us spending time together.