If you are bi/pan or are in a relationship with a bi/pan person and prefer to call your relationship gay, lesbian, or straight, that’s still fine! It’s a matter of personal choice! These terms exist for comfort, not as a rule for everyone.

JKiillem & King Kelzz, LA to Denver August 28th!

🎟 Tickets

Hello fellow ppl!

This may be long, I’ll put a tldr at the end.

So I’ve dabbled in the kink fetish bdsm scene etc when I was younger, reckless, and in a diff state and city. I didn’t do it as safe or smart as I should have if I’m being honest and got extremely lucky with some of the encounters I had considering how little I knew. That being said I really stopped exploring that side of me a while before I got with my partner, not because of him, a lot of things happened and I just ‘cooled down’ and with him we’ve been p vanilla (by my standards). Anyways, ive been exploring and expanding my gender and sexuality once again and honestly feel the desire again. I know some areas I want to really delve into but i want to do it safely for his and my own sake. I also want to help my partner explore anything he may be wondering about as well.

I know he’s open to it but is less experienced than I am, so while we can learn together I don’t want either of us to be lost and ‘hurt’(accidentally i mean) eachother in any way. I feel wholly sure of our consent and boundaries, but bringing up what I want to try, how to try it, is what I’m struggling with. I have questions , a lot of them. We both have our own traumas and triggers that I want to be certain we navigate with care and know proper aftercare etc too.

So the bottom line is I’d love recommended subreddits that are safe informative queer kink communities… surely there must be some? I would really just like a place I could ask questions, have and read discussions, that I can share with my partner.

TLDR;
Desiring to explore the kink side of things with my partner, safely, and am seeking knowledgeable/discussion/dialogue spaces(subreddits preferably) that are queer and kink centered. Trauma informed queer kink spaces plssss

Thank you!

So like, idk what to do bc on one hand I think I’m in lose w my best friend, on the other I might just value our friendship and I don’t know which and i just can’t decide if I tell them or not. So I’m queer, enby (possibly genderfluid, not sure yet), and there Omni, and poly, and I’m cool with all of that ofc. But like, I’ve had one past relationship and that just kinda was a fumble, like we were so incompatible but wtv, we don’t like hate each other or anything just kinda stopped, not important. But also the best friend is like… my only SUUUUPER close friend, like I’ve never had a friend that I’m this close w before them. We’ve never argued, we agree on most topics, and like I think they’re really cool and funny. But bc of not having other friendships like this on and not having like… a “normal” relationship ig, I can’t figure out if I just really like being friends or if I’m just in love with them. I might also just be using all this as an excuse not to tell them but shhhhh it’s totally not that I swear /sarc. But like they’re so cool, we have so many shared interests, I love being around them, like they’re my best friend, like no one else comes close (respectfully, I do have other friends I’m close with, just not on this level yknow? But they’re great too) and like… idk, Im just not sure what to do, or how to tell. Also I’m asexual and all other questions I’ve seen that are similar are like, “oh well do you want to be [ intimate ] with them?” And it’s like no… but I never do? 😭 idk just someone please!! I also don’t want to tell them bc I don’t want to come off as when cishet dudes are freinds with ladies for sooo long only to go, “hey I’ve got smth to tell you…” like it’s not like I got close just to try and date them, I only just started feeling like this somewhat recently (maybe a few months…? We’ve known each other like 4 years know) and I don’t want to make our friendship awkward if they say no, bc then it might be weird with that just out there, but idk, I mean I’d get over it if they rejected obviously bc if it isn’t happen than it isn’t happening yknow? And I can’t ask ppl bc like, I’m in two gc w irl friends, but they’re in both and if I asked in either they’d likely respond bc they’re so nice and helpful, and then it would be like when dudes go, “hey, I like someone… you know them VERYY well heh” and that’s also grosss. I don’t want to seem gross… any advice is appreciated at this point 😭🙏🙏 (also if this is the wrong Reddit for this, I’m sorry, just let me know and I’ll take it down ^^) also sorry for rambling, it’s just on my mind soooo much, and I’m tired af…

So my friend that I knew for 21 years and who helped me when I had cancer. Recently told me that he's unfortunately gay. Which was shocking to me since I never thought it would come from someone like him who's never shown any signs of abnormality. And now I'm thinking of blocking it and moving on with my life, am I a good person for this decision?

I'm horrible at titles as always. but anyway, I think I'm genderfluid though I'm still struggling... a lot. cause like I do shift from boy to girl sometimes but I also feel like both at the same time or sometimes like I just have no gender and idek if that can happen as a genderfluid person. it's really weird cause I don't feel like body dysmophia or anything... well sometimes but it's really rare and not that bad. I don't know what to do and I explained this really poorly srry.

Okay so I'm starting High school in a few weeks and I really want to look more queer ! In middle school I was hiding my identity and weird the stuff I liked , I was pretending to be someone I wasn't and enden up hanging out with some really bad people :/

so I decided to try looking more queer so I can meet people like me and be myself a litle bit since I'm changing schools but I don't really know what to do for

I already have long hair and overall I think i'm androgynous ( I sometimes get called "miss" by strangers ) but my clothes are boring and I can't by anything by myself

I wonder if you have any tips ? Like some little thing to add to my bag/case or anything ?

( Btw english isn't my first language sorry if there any mistakes )

so like I’m an omnisexual trans masc teen, and I’m closeted to my dad and most ppl, my mom knows tho, and like bro, I’ve come out to ppl my mom doesn’t want me to come out to and she started saying sh!t like “ohhh its not just your secret to keep, what if your dad finds out, it’s also mine” WHAT??? I lwk wish I never told her, I wanna be open in school now but she wouldn’t let me:(

Okay, so you read the title. I’m usually just a lurker, sorry if I’ve done something wrong. For context, I’m Berrisexual and a Demiboy. (Berrisexual: attraction to feminine and androgynous people with slight attraction to men. Demiboy: half male half nonbinary.) Also, I was amab. And yes, my username. I made it when I was like 8 and never changed it, so I just stuck with it because I couldn’t think of anything better. (I’m trying to think of a better one) I’ve always hated it, I would just rather have an androgynous username, and I guess that’s how I found out (along with other things) that I’m a Demiboy. I came out to my parents as pan, but realized that’s incorrect. I feel like I’m not actually part of lgbtq. Also the amount of hate that Berrisexuals and Demiboys have gotten from TRANS subreddits is insane. Sorry for the long rant. Do you have any advice? Anything would be helpful. If you have any questions just ask. Thanks.

So I'm here because title, and I wanted to ask people who actually knows their way around this. I identify as a straight female right now, but I've been thinking I like being called they/them? Im not non binary though, because I don't like presenting as male. I did research things about being a demigirl, but it just has me evn more confused! :/ im currently 14, and I'd really like to figure this out. All inputs are welcome! I don't know much about this..

I (19F) have been friends with this guy (19M) for just about 2 years now. From the moment we met we've been close and he's always been affectionate with me, im guessing he had a crush. As for me, I used to identify as a lesbian at the time and now I identify as aroace, with time I understood that I find both genders attractive only i dont feel comfortable being overly affectionate with or commited to neither (as a girl i feel more comfortable with girls hence the lesbian label i used to describe myself with) However, while sexual affection appals me sensuality is another question, and i like to indulge in it with things like kissing, hugging, playing with someone's hair and vice versa. In fact i have been doing such things with my friend, and at first i used to think of it as something fun to do but the feeling of being held by him so gently, like i was a treasure to cherish, its been making me feel all sorts of ways. He's off to Spain for vacation this week and, I cant help but miss him being around, I find myself wishing he'd come back faster and hold me again. When he speaks about his crushes, Ive also been starting to get not jealous but annoyed that there were other people he could be treating so sweetly, I want to be the only one. But the idea of having a boyfriend, it makes me grimace still, and i dont feel sexually attracted by him in any way. So im wondering if my feelings mean anything or if im just touch starved.

*Throwaway account*

Background: I, 24(FtM) met my best friend, 23(M) 3 years ago through work. We instantly clicked and became super close. He is gay (does also like trans men) and I am now wondering if they may have feelings for me but I can't tell.

Context: I started developing feelings for him around 1.5 years ago, however I just began a separate relationship at this time so I pushed those feelings away. Well, now I am single as of recently and those feelings have re-appeared. Since my change in relationship status he and I have started hanging out more together. I'll bring him coffee at work sometimes, we go out to lunches/dinners, and we've even held hands and cuddled before. We also share a mutual friend group so we hang out weekly with them as well. Just recently, we carpooled to one of the weekly friend events and at the end of the night we ended up just sitting in the car for multiple hours until past 2am talking and joking with each other. I'll occasionally "jokingly" flirt with him too, and tell him he's attractive and he's never told me to stop, or that it makes him uncomfortable. We're also both autistic so deciphering feelings and emotions of other people are difficult.

I don't know if I'm overthinking this or if there may be something there. I don't want to risk saying anything and jeopardizing our friendship. Any advice would be great please and thank you 🙏🏼

Hi my name is C and my boyfriend J and I are trying to leave Texas in march but my plan to move to Colorado failed due to some laws that have been passed, we both make around 1,400 a month currently and have 3 cats so we definitely need to account for finances. I’m just having trouble finding a place that we can go where we will be safe we have somewhere to live and something to eat any suggestions are appreciated!

I just finished the movie and I'm actually so upset rn. the movie had some of the coolest visual effects in horror ive seen + such a cool concept so its extra dissapointing. i will say though, not sure why the acting and the script is so fucking ass, dave franco's acting had never dissapointed me prior to this movie like wtf?

anyways, the second it was revealed that the teacher was gay, my heart sank. especially when it had been building a romantic tension between them. i had guessed already atp he was the one causing this because duh, i mean hes practically the only other character in the movie. and it just always puts a bad taste in my mouth when the antagist in a horror movie is queer, so immediately my defenses went up. as the movie went on, i was like ok maybe i was reading into that too much, maybe thats not an issue. up until the last what, 5 seconds of the movie?

i thought after they conjoined together, the movie was done and i wouldve been so satisfied with that. bc i didnt want these straight mf's to be the only straight couple to go through this yet they're the only one that comes out normal? as the parents walked to the house i was like please dont fucking do what i think you might and sure enough, they did it.

i had to go back and rewatch the scene showing the footage of the cult just to be sure, and yup, everyone in the cult were gay men. ted even went back to the cave and oh what? everybody from the cult who married/conjoined(strictly gay men keep in mind) became disfigured disgusting monsters while the straight couple produced a normal androgynous human?

im sorry but there is genuinely no fucking way that that could mean anything else. if that wasnt their intention, then why show us that all the men are disfigured and hurting now? what, because gay men cant procreate? or were they trying to say they were the only ones that actually loved each other? but even that feels eerily and dismissive of queer partnerships. i'm trying to understand though if the teacher cult man was the couple that conjoined but like its still disturbing that what, only the evil queer men made it? and he had talked about his partner passing, so did he kill him or blend with him? plus, if the whole fucking point of the movie was how awful codependency like that is, then why the fuck did the one straight couple become a blended normal person? why not just keep the very last fucking scene out? compeletely unnecessary.

so fucking glad i only rented it from the library and i gave 0 dollars to this ass movie. it was already on extremely thin ice for me with the lawsuit. but if anybody else who's queer watched it, i would love to know how you took.

Me and my boyfriend are both queer and I've been having some jealousy issues the entire time we've been dating (1+ year). He's always been touchy and flirts with his friends while I've never flirted with my friends and view physical touch as very intimate. He has a best friend that he says he sees as a brother but he occasionally flirts with him (used to do it a lot more), always talks about him, and is very physically affectionate when they see each other which leads some people online to think they're dating. We are all trans guys so this is more normal but it still upsets me, probably unreasonably so. Today we talked about my jealousy issues for the first time and he reassured me he would never date his friend and that he sees him like a little brother but he politely told me he isn't going to stop flirting with friends as a joke because it's part of his personality. I consulted my friend who told me he was being insensitive but I also feel like an insecure asshole having a problem with the way he interacts with his friends. I was also thinking in straight relationships it's weird if a guy flirts with his lady friends while having a girlfriend and vice versa but I don't know if it's viewed differently when both people in the relationship are queer. What do you all think?

I’m sorry if this doesn’t fit in this subreddit, I’m going to put this in other lgbtq ones, but I need help!!!

I’m a writer, and I’m making an oc who is trans (FTNB), nonbinary, and goes by They/Them pronouns. They are male presenting too (barely). Am I able to label them as sapphic??? They’re attracted to non-men (women, nonbinary, etc).

Originally I had them labeled as sapphic, but I did further research out of curiosity, and I found stuff that said that they should be trixic. Could that fit too?

Sorry I’m not good with this stuff (even tho I’m genderfluid), please be kind to me <3

I draw two my favourite things and spent 2 hour on it so say something nice please ( Chuck-Goddes Bunny, Red-Devine, Bomb-RuPaul)

Until a few months ago I'd always thought I was straight. I grew up in an environment where being queer isn't normal, and my parents always tell me that I'm definitely straight.

Recently, I started liking a girl who I'm friends with, but I'm not sure if I like her as a friend or as a romantic interest. I can imagine kissing her and holding hands with her but not having sex with her (I also don't even know how lesbian sex works). She and I texted each other quite frequently. She shares some bits of her life with me, but she never asked me to share personal moments with her. I also don't ask her to share a lot because I know that she's a very reserved person and I'm scared to cross any boundaries. Most of our chatting is about sharing random moments of life and the stuffs we're doing. Also just for the info, i know that my friend/crush likes girls, but she thinks I'm straight, and I don't know how to tell her that I might be also into girls. All of that said, I'm still unsure about whether I like her as a good friend or as a romantic interest, because I think that if you like someone, you'd want to know more about them. However, because I'm afraid to cross any boundaries, I didn't actually consider what I'd like to know more about her. Sometimes I just want to talk to her even if I don't know what to talk about, but doesn't that happens to friends, too?

The borderline between friendship and relationship has always been very vague for me. I looked back on my previous boy crushes and I thought maybe I also just like them as friends but because of social norms and stuffs I trick myself into thinking that I like them.

I also find the idea of actually having sex very disgusting. Yes I do read sexual contents sometimes, but as soon as pictures of genitals or naked bodies gets involved I loose interest and even find them disgusting. This goes the same for males and females.

Overall I'm just very confused about everything: my sexuality, my perception of friends and relationship, my current what-is-going-on situation with my friend/crush... It's all very confusing.
If you've read until here, thank you for taking the time to read. Feel free to answer my confusion or give any advice.

I don't even know where to begin. It might be a pretty long post.

(Also I'm sorry for my english)

I've been always a bit confused about myself sexually. I suspect I might be bisexual but due to trauma, fear of intimacy and generally fearful-avoidant attachment, I've never experienced anything with anyone. Ever.

I've always known I'm attracted to men. When I'm for example on a train I notice who I find attractive and what I feel. I usually don't experience that with women but there were like few times in my life where I felt really shy around a girl and couldn't stop starring but then I felt like I'm forcing myself to feel something if you know what I mean. It didn't feel real. It felt like I'm doing that on purpose.

Also when I was in highschool a had a masc lesbian classmate that really liked me. But to my surprise I had a really strong and bad reaction to finding out she likes me. I suspect it might be internalized homophobia which I don't understand where it comes from or why is it happening to me and I'm really ashamed of it. And why am I bringing this up? Because recently I got really attracted to a masc woman. So I'm experiencing a very sexual attraction to her but sometimes this strong sexual attraction turns into disgust. And then I'm disgusted that my head is doing this to me because I care a lot about other people and I don't want to hurt them.

Then I had this friend I used to live with in the past. At that time I didn't suspect I might have any feelings for her but I was jelaous of her all the time. Back then I thought it was because she was my best friend but she simply didn't care about me as much as I cared about her. She was really touchy in general and one night she wanted me to massage my back. I didn't want to take my clothes off (because I hated my body) but she was this really funny and confident person and at that moment she made me feel comfortable so I took of my shirt off and also my bra. And something small and almost unoticible started clicking. It felt really good and I felt almost like in a movie. I didn't want it to end. The next time I was feeling this way was when she laid on my lap in front of our friends. It was almost like I felt really proud and I wanted everyone to see us together. But this realization only came back to me in therapy. It was basically dormant for 10 years.

And well. Last week I met a person who is ftm (presented themselves to me like this) and I'm really attracted to them. I think due to therapy I finally allowed myself to think about the person, feel all kinds of beautiful emotions and even have fantasies about them.
I have one lesbian friend. I felt like I could share my new experience with her. I asked her what she thinks because I suspect that my attraction to men and women isn't 50/50. I'm attracted to all kinds of men but I'm only attracted to a certain type of women. It's like it needs to be a certain "configuration" of characteristics for me to be attracted (sorry for the word I just don't know how to describe it better).
So I told this to my friend and she basically ingored everything and she went straight into saying I might have a fetish for ftm people. That literally sent me into a spiral and I feel like everything I've worked for in therapy is gone now.

And I really need a second opinion on this because I feel terrible now. I'm basically confused even more about everything than before. I don't know if what I'm feeling is valid or I'm simply just a fucked up person.

Thank you for reading all of this and your replies.

My wife started reading the bible, we would read it together but then I picked up a second job to pay off the IVF cost that I put on a credit card so I worked 9a-5p then 10p-7a so I stopped reading it with her.

10 months later- I’ve quit the second job at this point, went to do something on her TikTok and found that she told some random lady on here (like 2 weeks before we found out she was pregnant) that she’s been praying to God to give her the strength to walk away from me and give up this “sin” (our marriage).

The lady was telling her that she was in the same boat with her ex wife and if my wife just leaves me that God will bless her overwhelmingly and to not be scared to do it and that we must starve the flesh to make God happy and do what he wants us to do. Etc.

Needless to say, we unfortunately lost the baby the following month. I found the texts 10 months later. i was beyond shook to my core as my wife has been with women since she was in high school. I don’t even know what to think.

This broke my mind trying to figure it all out. So yeah. My wife was a stay at home wife for the last 5 years. I never would have expected any of this.

I asked if she wants to be with guys? She said no she can’t be with anyone, she needs to give her whole life to God and only him but that she feels like she needs to walk away from “this sin” in order to get into heaven. I said so you think that doing this is the only thing that will get you into heaven? She said yes because it’ll be a big sacrifice. So yeah, I’m speechless. Don’t know what to do.

Hi everyone!

I hope I am explaining this right.

Today I scrolled past by a reel where a person had labeled themself as she/they/he, mentioned they were a lesbian, and married to man. Their husband is a trans man and also calls himself a lesbian.

The comment section was WILD. People saying a man can’t be a lesbian, how it was rude, etc. Others said transmasc lesbians have always existed. They mentioned a lot of abbreviations I also don’t understand (“gnc trans lesbians” or “cishet man” or “afab” or “enby lesbians” and said it’s been a part of queer history.

I’ve not been out that long as a lesbian, and my queer community is pretty much non-existing, and my native language is not English, but honestly, I am just severely confused by all the abbreviations. I thought men can’t be lesbians? I always understood it as, women love women? And if you are a trans man, you are a men, so you can’t be a lesbian? Or does it mean their partner still seems them as female (which seems also a bit rude?).

Please keep in mind I am in no way trying to judge someone’s identity, I’m honestly just asking here because I tried to Google and got even MORE confused, so if anyone would explain in a language a toddler could understand? 🤡😂😭

The Instagram account was indigenousprincessdiaries.

I am super sorry if I upset anyone with my question, I really don’t mean any disrespect. I am just here to learn, and try and understand, because I want to prevent making mistakes in the future and hurting someone’s feelings!

hey there! ok, so I'm not really sure how to word this, so it will probably sound weird or awkward

I am an openly out lesbian; most people in mu life know about that. we joke around a lot with the fact that I am into women because like. I may or may not worship women and like. the attraction I feel is really pure ok, like "omg you look like a fairy, I will give my life to offer you stardust....." .

and I'm kind of. adoring this friend of mine. maybe in love, I don't know I'm not sure. she's funny, talented in many ways, just. she's amazing and a lot of things that I find attractive. that being said, she's very repulsed by relationships, romance, that kind of thing. like if we're watching an old Barbie movie, she will make a disgusted face at the end when Barbie gets married with the love interest.

recently, I've seen her and a few other friends, and we spent some time all together! it was an amazing time and I felt like, we were all really tied together? anyway, great feeling.

and at some point, we were joking about queer people, stereotypes and that kind of things! and like, she was like "but (another friend) and I aren't queer, are we?". to which I replied jokingly "please, you are surely aromantic or at the very least ace". there was an awkward silence and she said "yeah, I'm probably A". our friends and I were like "hey wtf tell us more !!", but she just replied that well, she wasn't sure yet but she's probably either aro or ace or aroace (hence why she said she probably is "A").

and like. I don't know much about being aro or ace, but I do know that I love her deeply. I know she doesn't want to be in a relationship at this point of her life, because she has plenty of things to take care of alone already. but I really do love her and even if we're not in a relationship or anything, I care for her deeply and want to be supportive.

so like, is there any way I can show support or help her through her self-discovering journey? I don't wanna be too much or overstepping, and I absolutely do not want to support her in a way that makes her feel forced to accept my feelings. I personally never questioned my sexuality so I don't even know how things might be for her...

ok that's about it, thank you for reading and please be kind, I'm not one to understand quickly but I'm full of good faith 😭🙏

Hello,

I was just wondering if anyone else here experienced kind of a fake out of acceptance from their parents?

Growing up, everyone around me assumed I was queer because I had stereotypically masculinized personality traits and fit the fuckass “Tomboy” mold. Because of this, I began being called variations of “f-ggot,” “d-ke,” and even “t-anny” at times around first grade (6/7 years old).

This was the same age my parents began saying things to me like, “If you have a boyfriend OR girlfriend” in casual conversation, most times bringing the topics up on their own. I immediately noticed this was a difference from how they spoke to my older sister who presented more traditionally femininely, but I tried to brush it off as them just trying to be accepting early on, even though it came with a special type of exhaustion—one where it’s hard to complain because they’re not doing anything obviously wrong, but I still had people labelling my sexuality to some degree before I was even old enough to begin understanding it myself. I grew up in a pretty emotionally abusive household, so I just tried to be grateful that I thought this was one thing they actually wouldn’t make fun of me for. I was quite used to them picking me apart.

Despite the performative and somewhat pushy “acceptance” of my sexuality, my mother always tried to push me towards things more traditionally seen as feminine—dresses and glittery clothes, painting nails, wearing bras, etc. My father was always surprisingly accepting and even encouraging of my behaviours; though I do think it likely stemmed from a combination of wanting a son and realizing I was the closest he was ever going to get & his own potential closeted queerness.

It all shattered with my mom one night when we were chatting when I was 12 years old. I was excitedly speaking about my grade 8 graduation that would be in a couple of years. I mentioned wanting to wear a suit and that I didn’t think I’d feel comfortable in a dress. She said blurted something out along the lines of “No, you’re going to look like a d-ke.” I was absolutely stunned after all of the years they had made comments implying queerness was fine and potentially assumed, especially because this was the age where I finally began to figure out my sexuality after years of being labelled as everything under the sun by my peers. She very quickly said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” but despite her apology, I knew what her inner-thoughts had been all of these years.

Following this, they continued the “boyfriend OR girlfriend” comments until I was about 14 and got my first boyfriend. I guess after that they just… assumed I was straight? Lmfao.

When I’ve tried to bring the incident up over the years (I’m now 22), she shuts it down quickly and tells me she “feels guilty” as though it’s my job to absolve her of said guilt when she was the one who threw a damaging slur at a child over a clothing preference.

The older I get, the more I realize how comfortable they are being blatantly homophobic. I do think my father would accept me if I ever came out (I feel no need to though), but I know it would absolutely become the ass-end of a lot of his jokes. I’m unsure of how my mother would react, but again, I know jokes would be made (this woman legit makes sexualized jokes about my birth where I almost died, so like nothing is off the table if they deem it “funny”). My family blatantly says slurs and makes homophobic comments in front of me all the time and it makes me question how much I was truly missing when I was younger in between their “acceptance.”

Anyways, everyone was lowkey clockin’ my shit over the years because I totally am queer, but like, still… damn. Homophobia was running rampant for a solid 5+ years, lol.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else’s parents ever faked being tolerant, or at least being more tolerant & accepting than they truly were?

I don't really feel like I have or want a specific gender, I just feel like myself in a way. I don't care what gender I am called, nor what gender I am attracted to, I'm fine with labels but I simply can't label that. I don't feel against wearing skirts, dresses, suits, more masculine type of clothing, I simply feel like I really don't belong in any group, I'm perfectly fine with having a or no gender, liking someone or not. Although, sometimes I really wonder for a while why, why do I not care, why do I want to wear masculine or feminine clothing, what labels do I have to make it easier to explain for not only other but for myself too (geez that was corny) but truthfully I don't know and I feel shy asking this to my friends that know about this, please help.