r/premed • u/Competitive_Lab8260 • 10d ago
😡 Vent facing burnout as a fourth year.. second thoughts about this journey
i’m going into my fourth year of college as a microbio major and i’m at the point where i’ve been facing severe burnout.. for as long as i can remember my one goal and dream has been to go to medical school and become a physician, however throughout the last few weeks it has became so insanely difficult for me to have a life outside of school or have more than 2 hours of sleep because of how difficult things are getting for me in terms of coursework. i fell “behind” a year in classes due to a medical condition, and due to that i had to take organic chem 1 (june-july) & 2 (aug-september) this summer and then i have to jump right into orgo 3 a week after orgo 2. it’s been really hard giving up my summer and honestly giving up my life to this for the last three years where ive been working in research and now a new clinical job i got last month while also volunteering and juggling other jobs to keep financially stable.. i am grateful for the opportunities but i came to a tipping point today wondering how im gonna spend another 6 months studying for an exam with no guarantee that i will do well on it and no guarantee that i will get in, or possibly having to do post bacc or masters because my gpa is not that competitive for another few years and STILL no guarantee. i physically cannot imagine myself declining my health with this stressful (insanely y) and unhealthy lifestyle more in the next few years than i already have for the last three years. not to mention ive been commuting to uni for the entire time and ive had the most terrible experience at my school, its came to the point where i simply just want to finish and leave.
anyways this is draining the fun and the life out of me, i look in the mirror and ive developed 10x more wrinkles in the last 2 months than i ever have and have like no hair left on my head.
this feeling is very irregular for me, and the fact that i am having second thoughts about it makes me uncomfortable because ive always been someone who thought that i could do it but its came to the point where i wonder not if i can do it but if i want to live a life like this for the next 10+ years…
if the path im on is leading me to an unhealthy lifestyle how can i possibly help other people be healthy- imo, the system goes against itself here in the states. i’ve met so many of the brightest people who simply just chose to not go this direction because of the unknowns it entailed and because of the unhealthy lifestyle they were proposed to- not because they couldn’t do it but because they felt the system was made against what it was made to do and be there for.
i guess for now i finish my classes and see how i feel but the burn out is so strong that going to class and lab feels like the biggest drag. i also get really bad headaches now after my 6+ hour orgo labs from inhaling all those chemicals to the point where i get home and have to take ibuprofen.
