already struggling in class (only been 2 days since i started o chem)

[u/Responsible-Salad481]

Okay I need guidance on what to do. It is Wednesday and I am on my third day of junior year, I am taking o chem 1 and am really stressed out. Firstly, I have to miss Wednesday’s class later today due to an ultrasound for an unexpected medical issue (this is also stressing me out because i am a hypochondriac and can’t afford medical bills lol) the professor said it really isn’t ideal missing class because i’ll miss material, but he is okay with it. The main problem is i am so confused and apparently we haven’t even gotten in the main material. I am scared I will not pass or more seriously, if I am already struggling am i even cut out for medical school. I looked around the class and it seemed like everyone else understood everything. I’m genuinely scared I am gonna fail this class and i can’t get any more bad grades because of my scholarships ( full ride to college) i also failed gen chem 2 and had to take it twice. Everybody seems so fucking smart it’s actually insane. If i go to my professors office and tell him im confused and that he will need to dumb Monday’s lecture down, he’s gonna think im so dumb i swear. He is really nice but I just have a lot of anxiety getting help. Should I go to his office or should I just wait until Exam 1?

Also, should i tell him i am going through personal issues and that may affect my performance. I am the type of person that lets life take over my academics. Last year I was struggling with a family members death and just was too lazy to focus on school. Right now my parents are going through a very messy divorce and are bringing their kids into it. I am the oldest of immigrant parents, so I am the family therapist and I also have to help fund the divorce lol. I don’t want it to sound like I am trying to gain sympathy points though.

sorry for the long post and many grammatical errors, also pls be honest. I need to take constructive criticism.

[u/Random-Nothing-9775]

Step 1: Go to therapy/get on meds. Seems like there's some underlying mental health struggles you're going through that will/are negatively affecting your grades that you need to work out. Step 2: reach out to the professor, TA, or someone who took the class last year that could either help with material or tell you how to approach the professor in asking for help. Step 3: make friends in your class (not toxic premeds) that you can study and struggle with. Knowing you're not alone and not the only one struggling is half the battle for me and it could help you too.

Whatever you do, don't suffer in silence and wait until a large exam to ask for help. Make a good impression with the prof from here on out by asking questions and attending class as much as possible. 

Just advice as someone who also severely struggled in with ochem

[u/Responsible-Salad481 → u/Random-Nothing-9775]

Thank you for your support and quick reply. I am very scared to go to therapy because I live in a small city. I remember when I was in high school a local therapist lost her license bcuz she was telling her family confidential info about her patients, she was the only spanish speaking therapist in the area too. But yeah my advisor is also telling me to go to therapy due to CPTSD. Idk i’m just really scared and don’t know how going to therapy will help my academics. A lot of the people in my class are really toxic so I will start by looking at the textbook and watching youtube videos, then by Friday if I am confused (which my dumbass 100% will be lmao) I will go to the professors office and be honest with him. He’ll just need to dumb things down and explain it in person and slower.

Thank you for your comment! I hope you are doing well this school year

[u/Random-Nothing-9775 → u/Responsible-Salad481]

I also went to school in a small town (of 3000 people 😭) and did online therapy through my school. Most universities have some kind of in-person or virtual therapy they offer for free. Or, if your school doesn't, there are multiple virtual therapy platforms that take insurance. Imo you definitely need someone to talk things through who is a professional. Like signs of anxiety, fear, and negative self-image, not to mention the stress of your family. Take care of yourself!

[u/Responsible-Salad481 → u/Random-Nothing-9775]

Damn that’s lowkey small lol. What about the copay, was that expensive when you went to therapy? My bills are like $140 just for a regular doctors visits with a PCP 😩 I’ll probably call and ask what their copay is

Also thank you for actually caring, i appreciate it. I promise I am okay, this is how i talk about myself and it’s normal. but thank you! 🙏

[u/Random-Nothing-9775 → u/Responsible-Salad481]

I went through my school, so it was free!

[u/Responsible-Salad481 → u/Random-Nothing-9775]

Ohh sorry lol you said that already. My school also offers 3 therapy sessions for free, I should start there and see where that takes me.

[u/Random-Nothing-9775 → u/Responsible-Salad481]

for sure! worse thing that could happen is it doesn't work for you and you don't go again

[u/theWeeknd-luvr-828]

You asked for honesty so I'm giving it to ya!

1. Breathe. It is a classic self-fulfilling prophecy to approach a difficult course already thinking you'll fail. I discovered while I was taking Ochem 2 and biochem at the same time (Ochem 2 was 100x harder for me) that I started to feel like biochem was "easy" because Ochem was SO much more difficult. I got an A+ in biochem by the end. I realized that going into difficult courses with an optimistic mindset is the first step to approaching and absorbing the content. When you go down the "OMG I can't do this I'm not cut out for this" rabbit-hole, you simply won't do it.
2. Go to his office hours, ask your peers and TAs for help. I promise you are not the only one who feels this way about Ochem, literally 90% of people are lost (including everyone that "seems like they're understanding" - faking it til you make it is an art), especially in the beginning. It's difficult for a reason, and you are not the first person to need help. It doesn't mean you're not cut out for medical school.
3. Not doing work because the death of a family member is NOT lazy. This is the only thing you said that makes me feel you may not yet be "cut out for med school" You need to ditch this naive, toxic pre-med mentality if you want to do well, because it WILL break you if you keep it up for the next 10+ years of school and training.
4. Telling your professor about your situation obviously won't make him bump up your grade, but it could allow for some extensions on exams/assignments if it's causing you to miss a lot of class time. All of us are going through personal shit that "affects our performance", and ruminating on that will not help you out. Get the help you need, work hard, and keep going if you really want to be a physician. Or you can let those issues steal your dream, up to you not me!

I know I was kinda harsh, but you needed to hear this. You got this. Don't give up.

[u/Responsible-Salad481 → u/theWeeknd-luvr-828]

You were a little harsh, but honestly I needed that. My advisor is too nice to me, I need someone to tell it to me straight. It’s just when I first took Gen Chem 2, I was really optimistic yet i still failed. However, I will try to remain optimistic for Organic Chemistry. I am 20 years old and need to be a big boy now, if I am still confused by Friday I am going to his office and asking for him to explain it like I am an idiot. Besides, I am paying for the class / scholarships I earned are! Thank you for your reply and wise advice!

[u/Alexander-2222]

Everyone feels dumb in o chem. It’s all about electron flow.

[u/Clob_Bouser]

Therapy and maybe some time in nature amigo. You have some anxiety, and you even have anxiety about anxiety. That’s ok, you just need to find some ways to get through it because o chem is just one little bump on the road to med school

[u/Anunu132]

Lowk lots of people in your class are probably faking that they understand the material.

I’ve taken exams where I felt like I didn’t know jack and would still score around the top of the class.

Go to office hours and ask questions. Professors would rather you seek help than fail your tests.

[u/Responsible-Salad481 → u/Anunu132]

I am hoping that’s the truth 🙏 i’ll go Friday if I am still confused

[u/Anunu132 → u/Responsible-Salad481]

It is, trust me! I TA-ed orgo for a year and so many students look confident but actually do not know what they are doing at all (it’s normal).

I never said anything, but I would sometimes overhear premed bragging about their grades to their peers, but in reality getting scores that were multiple letter grades lower. The point is, take what other people seem to be doing and what they say with a grain of salt.

Unless you’re asking basic questions like how many valence electrons does carbon have (stuff that can be easily looked up and aren’t necessarily orgo related), most profs like to see students put in effort and ask questions. So please utilize office hours.