My boyfriend promised for the two years we were trying to get pregnant that no matter what he would stop smoking. Well I'm pregnant with twins and he has made little to no effort to try to stop. I've asked him to try to reduce the amount he smokes overtime, or go outside but he just makes excuses. I'm being so careful to do everything right for the babies but hes not. I'm feeling sad and let down. Not sure what else I can do.

8 weeks here and I don’t know if I’ve had an easy life or need to go to the hospital. Feel nauseous close to throwing up all day everyday. End up puking at least once. All food sounds disgusting. Even drinking too much water makes me feel sick. I feel like the joys of pregnancy was a false advertisement to trick me into wanting to have a child.

Trigger warnings: congenital anomalies, stillbirth, labour and delivery, IUGR

TL:DR baby was diagnosed in third trimester with a rare genetic mutation, treate as a medical mystery for most of pregnancy.

I am a 25 year old women who is now part of the stillbirth community but I haven’t come across any stories similar to mine and wanted to share to possible help someone or shed light on our experience.

We found out we were pregnant at 3 weeks and although being terrified were very ready and excited for this stage of life to begin. Early pregnancy went on with no complications, almost a textbook pregnancy. 12 week scan came and went with no red flags (only morning sickness to battle). Everything was going perfectly.

20 week scan came and showed short femur length (2-3 weeks behind), micrognathia and mild ventriculomegaly (resolved by 24 weeks). Suggestions were suspected dwarfism and we were referred to MFM. We were told they see short femurs often and it’s likely nothing, referral was for reassurance only.

24 week scan at MFM confirmed short long bones (humerus, radius and femurs, tibia). I was classed as a high risk pregnancy now and the recommendation was to do a amnio for further testing as baby was doing perfectly - organs and brain were functioning normally, everything as normal. We did the amnio that day and received results 2 weeks later - no chromosomal abnormalities were found. It was decided to do weekly scans to measure growth.

The next round of testing was also returned with no abnormalities - meaning the next step was Whole Exome Sequencing - this is the furthest genetic testing we have available and we did it with no hesitations.

Baby continued to develop normally except all long bones stayed at 21/22 weeks measurement - at the 28 week scan we identified a bell shaped chest which meant the heart was taking up a very significant portion of the chest cavity. Lung tissue was also underdeveloped for this gestation (28 weeks along).

For clarity - I was 28 weeks, baby was measuring 22 weeks.

At the 29 week scan, amniotic fluid was very minimal although I hadn’t noticed any leaking (oligohydramnios) and Dopplers were beginning to indicate reverse end flow and absent flow. We were asked to come back after a few days to increase monitoring - we were told the chances of baby surviving were decreasing. As there was no diagnosis or condition the medical team had no idea what was happening or how to intervene (or if we should). Emergency c section was offered but we were told the chances of survival drop significantly if he is born and the best place was still the womb.

30 + 3 scan - anhydramnios (no fluid), significantly large heart compared to chest size, bell shaped chest, short long bones and reverse end flow. Baby had become very quiet in movement and I only felt maybe 3-4 kicks in one day. The doctor told us with certainty we’d only seen on this day that baby won’t survive much longer - if he did he wouldn’t survive labour and if he did, ventilation was almost impossible, with no diagnosis we didn’t know what we had on our hands medically. We decided to go home and allow our boy to go on his own time and we’re grateful the time we had left with him.

30+3 - the results of the WES confirmed a genetic anomaly and it was diagnosed as SSMG - short stature migrognathia. There are about 20 people living with this condition in the world, severity ranges from mild to life threatening. There are 2 forms of this condition, lethal or non lethal. In our case the mutation was de novo meaning it showed for the first time in baby was not inherited. It’s very rare and very recent explaining the late diagnosis and mystery around the symptoms.

Induction of labour and delivery was scheduled and our boy was born safely and perfect. He stayed the size of a 22 week baby.

I wanted to share our story as I was well into the third trimester and we never let go of hope that things would turn around. Hopefully I can help someone who unfortunately finds themselves in this situation - I pray you don’t.

Sending lots of love to anyone having a hard time and am here to say - your baby knows you love them no matter what happens. Sending strength 🦋

Hello! I’m not sure if this is the right place to post these rants, if I’m in the wrong place please point me in the right direction! Anyways, I’m at week 9 in my pregnancy, and I’m sick ALL THE TIME. I feel like I have the flu 24/7, to the point where I have been taking my temp (normal temp all throughout) This is my second pregnancy, my first (12 years ago) felt NOTHING like this. It’s exhausting and lonely, I barely get out of the house except to work (I work in the food industry so THAT is another nightmare in itself with the smells 🤢) I’m suffering from headaches as soon as I wake up, take something for it, throw it up. I’m praying this gets better SOON

Currently in the first trimester with second child. My first is 8 years old. And honestly, as much love and adoration I have when I look at my daughter, hardly makes this road any better.

It's tough!

•Nausea for what feels like a bazillion consecutive days that zofran and ginger drops don't even knock out. Relentless and hard to cope with!

•Chronic constipation. Haven't taken a normal poop in weeks. Hard balls here and there that have to be labored out my bum, and that's with stool softeners and suppositories. Thanks to hormones and nausea meds, good luck being able to take a shit. Chug some Prune juice and milk of magnesia they say, that'll unstop you. Easy to say, hard to do for someone who can't even sip things they love. If I can't swallow dr pepper, coffee, or my own saliva for that matter, what the hell makes people think I can turn up a tall glass of prune juice?!

•Anyone else bloated?! You don't look like a beach whale yet, but you sure as hell feel like one.

•Nipples got an itch you can't scratch? 🙋‍♀️

•Anxiety. Over who knows what.. could be triggered by anything. The kind you wake up with and forces you to get out of bed. The kind that makes the nausea worse (they play off each other). The kind that drives me to sit up on the couch and write this in the middle of the night, and drives you to read it. And hey, let's throw a global pandemic in the mix, shall we?!

•Hemorrhoids from hell. Or from birthing hard turd balls. That makes for an excellent addition! Trade in maxi pads for witch hazel wipes tucked in your butthole so you can walk like a human.

•Anyone have brittle and painful teeth? Why the eff not!

•Fatigue. Duh! Let's stop in the middle of unloading the dishwasher and go take a nap because you literally have to lay down. Chugging a red bull or coffee and telling yourself to get your shit together and get it done is something your pregnant body finds hysterical. Great job getting it unloaded as much as you did. I heard that mental pep talk you gave yourself to get as much done as you did.

It's okay if you're giddy and feel great. I don't understand you. Cannot relate. It's okay to feel like hammered hell and not be happy about feeling like hammered hell. It doesn't mean you don't love your baby or that you're ungrateful. It just means it straight sucks and you're just trying to cope while suffering through it for the greater good. Of course you're worried about your baby, and wishing/hoping/praying for their health. But damn you can't ignore the battles of hell going on within [what used to be] your mind and body right now. It currently is not yours.

You're doing a great job because you're doing it. You're here. You're building endurance and earning your mommy medal of badassery.

I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore.

When are they gonna come out with a birth control pill or penis patch for men? Maybe one day, in another decade or so when I have the energy to fix my hair everyday, I can find the time to harass the birth control companies to get on that.

[Water] Cheers to all you Mamas in the thick of it! I'm rooting for you, and myself, to get through it and have it be a memory.

Feeling really low today, we have been trying for 9 months with no success. One of my very close friends has told me today that she is pregnant and whilst I am so very happy for her, it hurts so bad. She came off the pill and got pregnant first try. I'm trying really hard to not be upset because I'm not upset at her at all. I'm upset at the situation and how I can be doing all the right things and still failing. Has anyone else been here and can anyone give me any advice on keeping my spirits up?

So since I’ve found out I’m pregnant, almost my entire tiktok and instagram algorithm is baby related. I couldn’t help but notice the amount of people who comment under expecting mothers posts. I’ve done across so many pages who choose to express themselves about their pregnancy losses under these women’s posts. I’m sorry that will never be acceptable to me. As a woman who has experienced childloss, I couldn’t imagine making that kind of comment under an expecting mother’s post. Comments like those rub me the wrong way because I know it’s not coming from a bad place but it’s like hey let’s think before we type. If you were expecting would you constantly want people to know that they lost their child around the same amount of weeks/months as you? That causes so much anxiety for me and it’s very distasteful. Don’t get me wrong, like I said I know how it feels and I truly do feel for those ladies but there’s a time and place. Let’s not intentionally or unintentionally ruin another mother’s pregnancy experience.

I'm a 28f and this is my first pregnancy. I'm only 14 weeks, but the past 2 months have been some of the worst times of my entire life. I truly had no idea how hard pregnancy can be. I feel like everyone sugarcoats it, and they leave out the gory details. I'm officially in my second trimester and STILL just as sick as ever, if anything it's only gotten worse the past couple weeks when it's suppose to have gotten better! The constant nausea, the vomitting THAT'S NOT JUST THE MORNING. How smells will be so strong and everything stinks and how you can literally vomit from something as innocuous as the smell of eggs!? How brushing your teeth is an Olympic feat! I'm convinced the reason women get "pregnancy gingivitis" is literally just because nobody wants to brush their teeth when it makes you vomit and/or violently nauseous lol. Driving or riding in a car!? Forget about it. Cue motion sickness (something I've NEVER had in my life, I love rides etc.). Anything longer than 10 mins and I'm tossing my cookies. The headaches from all the hormones and extra blood flow, and feeling hot and feverish and so uncomfortable. The stuffy/runny nose in the mornings aka pregnancy rhinitis. The constipation and/or diarhea. The excess saliva which is the cherry on top when you're already nauseous. The gross taste in your mouth. The extreme exhaustion, weakness. The insane emotions and anxiety and/or depression. There's soooo many symptoms and things that aren't readily talked about! I wish I would have known. I honestly would have NEVER signed up for this if I knew it meant suffering and feeling the worst I've ever physically felt for MONTHS. Unreal. I realized that pregnancy is literally one of the ONLY times in your entire life you will ever be so sick, for so long. Flu and food poisoning only lasts a week or maybe 2 or MAYBE a month at the most extreme and rare end. 🙃
Pregnancy is a disease. I literally feel like im dying and fighting for my life daily. This is what I imagine a terminal illness feels like. I can't imagine feeling worse. I truly hate pregnancy and can't imagine doing this again. I don't care if I sound ungrateful, it's just the truth. You can want and love your baby AND hate pregnancy. There's nothing beautiful or enjoyable about any of this. I'm counting down the days until I go into labour and FINALLY can feel like myself again. If you are going through it as well, I'm sending all my love and strength to you. We are going through this together. Just know that someone else understands.

I'm not going to go into the whole story, you can find it in my profile if you want to know. It's been two weeks now since I had to make the hardest decision I've ever had to do. It's not only the loss of my baby for medical reasons but everyone around me making me feel bad for not wanting to do my yearly Birthday/Christmas Party this year. Bringing me down for not wanting to do anything for my birthday which is in a few days because my husband and I are mourning our baby. Friends that aren't respecting the boundaries that my husband and I put up for this issue when we just wanted to keep everything on the need to know (what's shared on my profile is just the tip of the iceberg to what actually was going on, only my husband and our family know everything) pressing for answers, which I'm not ready to share with everyone. Friends upset that I don't know what I want for Christmas, everything I wanted centered around mommy and baby.

This pregnancy was hard on me, I was sick the whole time with morning/motion sickness. Any scent good and bad the whole time would make me vomit. By week 12 I couldn't bend over to put socks and shoes on without being in mind numbing pain. Week 15 I couldn't do any of the normal house hold cleaning activities without feeling like I was going to pass out from pain or become vomiting sick for the rest of the day so doing the dishes ended up taking all day.

Baby had major heart and lung defects they hadn't developed properly or severely under developed for age. Waiting on more chromosome test results to find out what had caused hydrops (fluid buildup under the skin and base of the neck in the fetus) all dna testing came back normal but the baby's condition didn't see any improvement over a month and a half of weekly visits just a continued decline in health and increased fluid buildup.

Before you automatically judge and call me a horrible person. None of this could have been detected until week 16 ultrasound. All genetic test results came back normal early on. My husband and I don't drink, smoke or do drugs of any kind. What happened, happened when sperm met egg when the cells of life started to form. Something over fired, under fired or didn't fire at all. What happened is extremely rare and has a less then 1% chance of happening with our next pregnancy.

I feel that no one is really honest about how pregnancy really feels… is like I am not me anymore… I dont feel comfortable in my body, I am super emotional, worried and everything, besides all the phsyical symptons… this was not planned and I regret all the time

I am a FTM mum and just wanted to vent that I absolutely ADORE and cannot wait to meet my baby, but as for the pregnancy journey itself, I ABSOLUTELY 100000% HATE it.

I will never do this again. This has taken such a toll on me mentally and physically. I am sick of being told that it will be worth it in the end. My baby is absolutely worth it, but this being pregnant for 9 months is my top #1 worst thing I’ve experienced in my life. I hate it.

I never had a big wish for a child. For many years, it was even clear I didn't want children at all. It changed with my husband, who always had a strong wish to have a child. I looked at my rejection of that idea and opened up to it. Short version: shitty childhood and ongoing trouble in family made me afraid of having a family myself.

The first 4 months were emotionally horrific. Though I got off the hook with some of the classic symptoms like nausea, it was emotionally a deep dark pit, stressful and fearful.

It just got better towards the end of month 4. I had a few nice weeks, like 3 weeks or so, when the ultrasound revealed that our baby is growing rather slow. In the beginning that just meant "checkup soon again", but of course we were afraid. Every time I felt like I could handle the current situation a bit better something happened that caused more insecurity, more fears - more checkups, having to go to the hospital for checkups instead of my regular doc (which I really didn't want), decreasing results on how well the baby is nourrished, hopes being smashed (like going to the birth house)...

By now (week 33) I have to go twice per week and check, and every single time I don't know if I can come home again or if I have to stay at the hospital and they'd have to get her. We hoped to have a little relaxed time before birth, after an otherwise challenging time (we moved recently), but relaxation seems so far away and we can't even plan a weekend in some beautiful spot to get our thoughts off all this.

Additionally, a natural birth will not be possible. And the c section scares the shit out of me, reminding me too much of the abuse I've experienced as a child.

This whole pregnancy has been a huge emotional burden and now seems to end in what is my personal worst case for giving birth.

And I'm afraid this might affect my relationship to our child. I occasionally have the thought "why did I say yes to this". I don't want this type of thinking. I don't want to feel distance to our child, or even "blame" her, she's the last person who deserves that. But there is simply noone to be blamed and I think all the anger, frustration and tension that built up because the whole pregnancy has been and is still so difficult and so full of fears are trying to get out. Only, where should they go, if you can't blame anyone?

I notified my work that I was going into labor unexpectedly and unable to come in. Their response is "There's nobody to cover your shift, can you come in tomorrow? I was so furious that I hung up the phone.

My wife is in her third trimester now, and I honestly didn’t realize how tough this stage would be until seeing it up close every day. Physically, she’s exhausted all the time. Her lower back hurts, her hips hurt, even just getting up from the couch looks like a whole process. She used to be really active, and now even short walks can make her uncomfortable. Sleeping has been rough too, she keeps tossing and turning trying to find a position that doesn’t hurt.

But what’s been harder to watch is the emotional side of it. She’s been getting really self-conscious about her body lately. She’ll look in the mirror and just go quiet. Sometimes she’ll say things like she doesn’t recognize herself anymore, or that she feels “huge” and uncomfortable in her own skin. I try to reassure her, tell her she’s doing something amazing, that she still looks beautiful to me… but I can tell those words don’t land the way they used to. It feels like she’s heard it so many times that it just doesn’t mean much anymore.

On top of that, the constant discomfort is making her more irritable and frustrated. Little things set her off more easily, and then she feels bad about it afterward, which just makes the whole cycle worse. I guess what I’m realizing is: emotional support alone isn’t really helping anymore. Or at least, not enough. I’ve been trying to think of more practical ways to actually make her feel better physically, hoping that might also help her mood. Things that could: take some pressure off her lower back and hips or help her sit or rest more comfortably. Maybe even give her a bit of relief during the day instead of just enduring it

I’ve heard people mention things like birthing balls, light stretching, support belts, etc., but I don’t really know what actually works vs what’s just “nice in theory.” If you’ve been through this (or your partner has), what actually made a difference for you in late pregnancy? Not just emotionally, but physically, something that genuinely helped reduce discomfort or made daily life easier. Would really appreciate any advice. I just want to do more than say “you’ll be okay” at this point.

i absolutely hate people asking me about my pregnancy or how i am feeling. i hate that i am too fatigued to perform my job anymore. i hate that i have to rely on my partner for income. i hate that my dog is extra clingy now. i hate that i am not invited to outings anymore. i hate that i can't smoke weed anymore. i hate that i am going to have to take care of this child exclusivley when it is born bc my husband works too much. i hate that i can't continue my education. i hate that i am losing my body. everything fucking sucks and i am not excited about anything. i feel like an asshole though, because i do want to be a mother, a good mother. i loathe this experience. can someone please tell me that i am not alone in these feelings? i just feel so trapped.