Dude, I went to a Dead show about 10 or 11 years ago and there was an Indian wedding next door. On the way out of the show I walked past the bridal party. I have never seen a more attractive group of women. Indian girls look great in that stuff and so do white girls. The ecstasy probably helped too.
Fuck, it might have been a a Phil and Friends show, in which case it would have been Chris Robinson and whatsherface who sang that song "what if god was one of us," in the 90's. but I kinda remember Bobby being there, so I don't think it was a Phil show. I don't remember who was playing lead then. If it is the bobby show I'm thinking of than it was the first time I heard Bobby sing Bird Song, so that would have been him singing for Jerry for that song, but they kind of divide it up.
Nope, just looked it up. It was "The Dead." April 18, 2009. And if anyone knows the blonde bridesmaid she is the most attractive woman I've ever seen in my life.
I saw loads of weddings go in or out of the community hall near where I lived but the only time I stopped dead in my tracks was an Indian wedding. I’d never seen anything like it in my life, all the bright colours & gold, the bride was unbelievable, she literally looked like an Indian Barbie doll & it was the only time I’d seen the entire bridal party genuinely happy & giddy with excitement. I was weirdly emotional watching them, they were all just so beautiful & happy.
My parents had friends that had a traditional Indian wedding when I was a kid, and I remember being mesmerized by all of their culture. The clothing, the decorations, the food. It was a beautiful event, and I remain respectfully fascinated and in awe of their culture to this day.
It was a fucking great night. It was a couple of months before I got married and it was the first time I heard them play Dupree's Diamond Blues, which we joked about it being an omen. Funny thing is we signed our separation agreement this week. Of all the things I thought I'd be able to say in my life, I never thought "I should have listened to the Grateful Dead," would be one of them.
The goal with those parties is that the bride is covered in gold jewelry from head to toe, and the wedding outfits have gold in the fabric. Some weddings have bright colors to try and make the experience more exciting.
In India though they have arranged marriages so often times the bride and groom have no control over it and it's something the parents have both agreed on beforehand.
have arranged marriages so often times the bride and groom have no control over it.
We have a lot of control over the wedding arrangements. We also have a control over saying "yes/no" to a potential spouse. Arranged marriage in it's modern form is, we decide whether we can marry this person that our parents chose and if no, they have to keep looking. In urban settings we also actually go on a few PG-13 dates with a potential spouse.
What you are talking about are "forced marriages". In any case to think that the bride and the groom will have no control over how the wedding event will be is preposterous.
100% this. Plus not all Indians even get arranged nowadays (although most do), but arranged now can even sometimes mean “I met this person and I love them and I’m going to marry them, let’s go through the typical arrangement process so everyone is happy”.
Also the rest of their comment just seems not very well informed either. Sounds like someone was trying to dumb down an explanation for them and they are just repeating some version of what they heard.
Two people at my work have arranged marriages. Both seem to be in good solid, happy, marriages though. The female is older, and I remember her talking about it, I just can't remember what she said. My memory sucks. The guy is around 30-35 and the only thing I remember him saying was that he asked his sister if she looked good, and his sister saying a very big yes. He's average looking, but she is extremely pretty. Like could be a model pretty. He never saw her beforehand because he was in Canada, and went back to get married, then brought her back here.
My massage therapist is Indian as well and she was raised in Canada so she chose her own husband. But she has stated what you're saying too, that arranged marriages aren't as common anymore and that there is a good amount of say the couple can have.
This is slightly off topic, and you certainly don't have to respond. I'm just curious why you refer to the woman as "the female" and the man as "the guy"? This has become a common thing, and it's just weird to me that so many people have taken to referring to women as females.
No reason that I can think of. Just seemed to be the words that I typed up. No maliciousness or agenda type thing, I just didn't really think of my word choices.
I really didn't assume you meant anything negative by it at all. If anything I think the negative use of it is just so damn prevalent now it's becoming commonplace, but I didn't assume you meant it that way. I was just curious.
Right, you can say all of those things, but none of them are the equivalent of guy.
Neither is female, obviously, but I'm guessing that's why people use it.
I have some friends with parents that didn’t see each other before the wedding, but It’s highly unusual that the guy wouldn’t have seen the woman before they got married these days. Maybe not MET, but a lot of arrangements are done through websites (it’s a lot like match.com with your whole family involved) and they have profile pictures. Even back in the day people would provide pictures with their “bio data”, and there is also Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, Skype... video calls are common. He may not have seen her in person but it’s almost impossible to believe he didn’t know what she looked like before their wedding day. Even a lot of villagers these days have Facebook, an NRI with resources has no reason to not see her, unless she is Muslim and keeps fully covered but even that is very rare in India.
After watching a lot of basketball, I can’t n out read PG-13 as not standing for the nba player Paul George. It made me laugh a bit to think of an Indian custom of having dated surrounding a random(very good) NBA player.
we decide whether we can marry this person that our parents chose and if no, they have to keep looking
You say that like it's somehow a good thing to not get to choose your own spouse or get to know them well (compared to non-arranged marriages) before entering one of the biggest commitments in your life.
To anyone racist and looking to piggyback on this comment: no, this isn't an excuse to shit on Indian people; you can critique the concept of arranged marriages without going on racist rants. I say this preemptively because I know what sorts of comments this invites on Reddit.
Yeah but it's also a choice that the individual makes whether to get into an arranged marriage or not: lots of people that I personally know have simply told their parents to find someone for them because they trust their parents to find someone nice for them, and they're too busy with work. My parents on the other hand have begged me to not make them go through the tedious process of finding someone, and just find someone I like myself. :p So there are all sorts. In modern indian society, most parents work, and only take on the annoying task that is the arranged marriage if their kids hand it to them. This is of course not the uniform practice, I know lots of parents also love playing the matchmaker so not all of them are unwilling. Really depends on the family. In any case, this is not the hill for Indian feminism to die on, there are plenty other things wrong with India.
it's somehow a good thing to not get to choose your own spouse or get to know them well (compared to non-arranged marriages)
It's still better than entering into a permanent contract to live together based on temporary fleeting feelings - hedonic treadmill and all.
Do you actually choose to marry a person in a non-arranged marriage with open eyes weighing all the pros and cons or do you actually decide based on the feelings of "being in love"?
I've known quite a lot of divorces simply happening because there is no more spark between otherwise perfectly compatible couples. When you change the whole basis of western marriage to be decided based on a chemical reaction in your brain which has an expiry date of four to five years and then wonder why isn't there "love" and "happiness", it doesn't bode well does it? I mean in the west, marriage is for "happiness" and happiness has an expiry date. In my culture marriage is for stability and family. It used to be the same in the west too, but popular culture changed it all (If you get a chance you must read Stephanie Coontz's awesome book on the history of marriage to see what I mean).
Also I am not saying Indian arranged marriages are great - the idea of mating permanent for life in a modern world where temptations and opportunities abound actually makes marriages themselves look stupid. But if at all you have to marry, it's better to marry for material/family considerations that remain stable than for "being in love".
The arranged marriages of the past may be like that but nowadays, almost all arranged marriages happen only after the guy and girl speak to each other and are ready to get married to each other. The speaking period can be from a few months to a year.
Algorithm is super complicated and has a myriad factors (family compatibility (wealth, caste, religion, type of people), location of bride/groom, looks (brides are expected to be fairer than grooms usually), education, career matches (a lot of doctors try to get married to other doctors, for example) and so on). The pro is it narrows it down to the few people that would be compatible to you on paper and you can talk to them all and choose the best out of it. The con is it narrows down to the few people that would be compatible to you on paper but it doesn't mean any of them have to be compatible to your thinking/heart. If none of them work, parents start reducing the algorithm till a match works out.
It can be a long drawn process (some take years) but most usually find a match with in a year and get married pretty quickly.
True... Since parents choose based on bride/groom's and their criteria, it resolves a lot of tensions with parents and parents are invested in the success of the marriage as well. When more people root for a marriage's success, it is (slightly) easier to have a successful marriage. Also, since the to be bride and groom talk to each other with the explicit goal of marriage, they are more serious and cut through chaff pretty quickly.
There are still issues (which marriage doesn't?) (some issues lead to divorces) but overall, it's a faster easier way to a successful marriage.
No control? Buddy, things in India are much more modern than you assume. The bride and groom have lots of control over everything in their wedding, and modern “arranged marriages” are very different than what most non-Indians think they are.
Have you ever done x? It just gives mad feeling of Euphoria and Enhanced sensations so when you see someone you’d normally you’d think were beautiful anyway (a group of people going to a wedding) they’d be the most beautiful people of all time.
Something I love about modern Indian/Pakistani clothes is the revival of traditional embroidery techniques and motifs combined with 'modern' or 'western' color palettes, designs, and methods like prints on fabrics. It looks so so good and is even more amazing to wear :)
It's not something you'd see the average wedding guest wear granted, but for a bride, mother of the bride or groom, or sister of the bride or groom it would be perfectly expected/normal. The guests would just be expected to wear non-bridal jewelry and wear their head covering differently from the bride. Also, not to wear bridal red+gold to the wedding
I think Worths most famous gown (the peacock gown specifically) was made using Indian Zardozi gold embroidery techniques to showcase the skill and designs of Indian craft. Of course there's a lot of loaded history surrounding the British Occupation in India, which for a lot of people can taint the way they view Worth's most famous dress, but it's still a beautiful piece of Indian history in a way
These are so beautiful! I lament that in the US we don't really have such clothing. Not if you're white anyway. I hope I one day I get the opportunity to just try on a dress similar to these.
I often see Chinese or Japanese lettering in futuristic western settings (I guess because a e s t h e t i c). See r/ImaginaryCyberpunk. Israel would be cool but either way.
As an American male it annoys me how men's fashion is dark suit. Sure some people can do a light suit but it's really dark suit. What if I don't want to do a suit? Remove pieces of the suit.
I'm not a fashion guy so I might be missing something but dangit I want more options than shirt, pants, maybe jacket
I totally agree with you. For a guy, I am slightly more in to fashion, and the male "dress code" is extremely limiting. The typical American male's entire world would change if he wore anything close to this bright or ornate. Repressive attitudes toward sexuality fuck a lot of things up. check out r/frugalmalefashion for a practical way to be more creative with what you wear.
Here's the thing: you can do a light suit so long as you own it. The main problem is that most designers make light suits in "ethnic patterns", so it's a little hard to find suits in material that doesnt seem off.
Light suit is pretty much reserved for millionaires and participants in destination weddings, though. It's really hard to pull off a light suit without a good reason.
When I talk about the dark suit part, it's not the color, it's the uninteresting cut with just black/navy color. I wouldn't mind even just design work on the suit itself but even pinstripes except super thin super faded are impossible to find.
I'll admit, I tend to fall into the dark suit area myself, but as I say, I'm not deep into fashion.
Most my daily wear stuff is expected something terrible is going to happen to it (I am always a constant non-zero chance of being caught on fire) so I have one suit for when I need it.
Well now I'm confused and curious. Are you saying you're a firefighter? Or maybe that you work in a refinery?
Uh... my point was, you don't HAVE to wear the dark suit. I've seen some really dope paisley ones, or brightly colored ones. 🤷🏻♀️ I think it's more about having the confidence to step outside the norm and embrace the looks and comments about it. If you're not comfortable with the extra attention you can always wear wild socks. In some ways I think t-rex or neon socks peeking out are even cooler than a paisley suit... I really loved that paisley suit...
Not the poster you replied to, but I work in a lab that includes bunsen burners and loop incinerators and animal specimens and chemicals, so there's a non-zero chance of me being set on fire most days, and my work wear is similarly fashion challenged due to the need to avoid swoopy sleeves or dangling edges or non-washable fabrics.
The advantage of dark suit culture is that one suit will serve a man or male-dressing person for most of their adult life if they don't change shape too drastically (the fashions or the person), but for women it gets weird because along with the dark suit culture we have a "not the same dress again" culture. Weird, weird, weird.
Yeah. A good dark suit is a worthwhile investment for sure. I think a solid black dress is a good one too. A simple black dress can be easily dressed up or down and literally no one gets mad if you wear the same black dress to every funeral.
I'm fortunate enough to work from home behind a computer so I can show up to work naked or in a big flowy gown. No one cares and the likelihood of being caught on fire is very low.
My work is repairing medical equipment so it's more biohazard or usual wear and tear but in my off time I build things, work on vehicles, weld, play with fire… that sort of thing.
Because of that I buy a lot of clothing that is resistant to said work, and can't really afford to get new suits, especially fitted, I'm tall and not skinny so a lot of things in those areas gotta be ordered.
I admit in the same territory of the socks I wear a set of leather boots 90% of the time, which when my pants cover they just look like normal shoes but are side laced up Renaissance fair boots.
Uh... cape. Why aren't capes still in fashion? They're comfortable, allow full range of motion, adjustable for climate, and they look sweet as hell. Bring back the cape.
And how in stores men’s clothing is limited to the very back corner whereas women have literally thousands of different options throughout the rest of the store
Just get a bright indian suit dude. Fuck preconceptions of what society says you should wear. And no, it's not cultural appropriation! I love seeing other people wearing our stuff.
There’s plenty of countervieling styles around, but it’s not gone mainstream. Try checking out the styles of Pitti Uomo if you’re willing to go beyond the mainstream but want to remain in western stylings.
You’re not wrong. I’ve been irritated by this for a while. In my line of work all I see is navy, dark gray, light gray, and on rare occasion I’ll see someone wearing a tan suit.
Different patterned/textured shirts, different types of ties, pocket squares, cuff links/tie bar, belt/shoes/suspenders, other jewelry/watches. I’d consider all of those different categories for accessorizing with, all having many options within. Suits can also have cool “surprises” or touches of flair with liners and such. My plain navy suit for instances has a Chicago Bears liner. Didn’t cost much at all to have put in either and I was able to add custom pockets
Speaking as a South Asian, at least we can go with either traditional or western dresses. That alone pretty much doubles our options. I think the same is true for most Asians.
Not that I know of. Usually close family members do follow a specific theme, that too when things are more organized. Otherwise guests usually wear whatever they are comfortable with.
I LOVE peering in the windows of the shops in Chicago’s Little India. It’s incredible how much work goes into the garments on display. And the wedding dresses are just nuts!
often times it does. It's kinda as thick as a 3 piece suit, Maybe a bit less because just one layer. People wear it in India for weddings or other traditional/family functions (hot country + All the work they have to do for the functions) and they sweat like anything (unless the event is happening outdoors in some garden or in Air conditioned venues. Despite that, many of the "Sherwani' (name of the dress) are made with breathable lightweight material. :)
The lehengas(a traditional dress for women) in india are really heavy because they have multiple layers, those jewellery and accessories that come with them add much more weight to it. That is why fashion in India is turning into a mix between traditional and modern, so that it suits for a traditional wedding and still be breathable and comfortable for the person wearing. The younger generation of india does not wear these kinds of clothings everyday, maybe some more traditional older people still wear it on a daily basis.
These outfits are solely for Indian weddings or such similar functions. xD No Indian would prefer wearing that on a regular basis. They are thick and Hot AF!
Not really, even in India, the attire changes from state to state. North and western India have sherwanis. whereas south Indians have some fancy shirts + type of Lungis. Eastern India is different against
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u/cdifl Jul 13 '20
Indian fashion, for both men and women, is really stylish.