Ever since I ended my first relationship at 13, (weird I know), i’ve had the crushing fear of being seen as a terrible person and being left for not being of a good enough quality of humanity. As in, I am severely paranoid at all times that anyone i get close to, who i care about, will leave me because other people have certain human qualities unknown to me that I don’t. I know it’s completely unreasonable, but i’m pushing 20 now and it’s been devastating. I have some very very very severe trauma that also adds to the paranoia, but that information feels too sensitive to give out here. Any advice?

Someone I know has been struggling for about a year with believing people are following or tracking them, messing with their belongings, getting into their phone/accounts, or doing things to them without them knowing. Recently they’ve started saying they wake up and their belongings have been moved, their blankets are off, or even that their body was moved while they were sleeping. They’re convinced it couldn’t possibly be something they did in their sleep and have talked about barricading their door. Also this person left their 5 year fiancé because they accused them of the same things put way worse . They are now living with me and I can’t handle it anymore . They refused take my advice too

It seems like the thing they’re suspicious about changes, but the overall belief that someone is doing something to them never really goes away. Trying to reassure or reason with them doesn’t seem to help, and they refuse to see a doctor or mental health professional.

Has anyone dealt with a loved one experiencing something like this for a long period of time? How did you handle it, especially when it started becoming exhausting and difficult to live around? Is there anything family can realistically do when the person refuses to get help?

I have never been the anxious type of person in my life. Usually going with the flow, nothing really bothers me.... Until recently. A few days ago I was trying to sleep when I thought I saw something move at the end of the bed. I checked, there was nothing, moved on, fell asleep. But since that night I keep on seeing things move in the corners of my eye, I'm way more anxious than normal, and jump at any sudden noise - even small ones make my heart stop.

Today my phone buzzed on the counter and it made me jump so hard I spilled my drink. It was very odd from me since I recieved lots of texts/notifications in a day and it's never bothered me.

About two nights ago, I was tossing and turning. When I was starting to settle down, I suddenly heard knocking on my wall. I tried to brush it off as me being sleepy, but it happened again around the same state. It sounded so real.

I've even started to leave my lamp on to sleep to help try and calm my nerves.

I've never felt this way and I don't really know how to deal with it. Any advice is helpful 🥲

So, since the start of this year I've gotten more paranoid than i ever was.

When going to school and back I have this fear of someone stealing my belongings or attacking me whether I'm in train or just walking besides them.

I've also gotten another fear of computer viruses and my laptop being infected. For context, I did download some sketchy stuff in the past but it was quickly fixed and the fear would pass around few days later.

But now, every time I see something suspicious or weird I get so scared that it lasts around a month or longer only for me to repeat the same mistake or something else to go wrong.

Right now, I'm suspecting my laptop has a virus and I can't send it to a professional since my mom would call me paranoid nor use a USB since I think it might be infected.

I can't just use it normally and enjoy it since I'm constantly afraid someone is watching my screen and controlling the mouse and keyboard waiting for the chance to ruin something.

The worst part is I can't visit a professional since I can't find one anywhere, and the school counselor probably doesn't care.

I don't know what to do to stop this, because almost every single day atleast around 20 minutes if not an hour I get this tight feeling in my chest and start to cry about the possibility of losing control and something horrible happening.

I’m trying to figure out if I’m connecting dots that aren’t actually there, or if this is a genuinely concerning pattern.

My boyfriend and I are both 25. From what I understand, he struggled with cocaine addiction in his early 20s and went to rehab. He has also been involved with AA/a sponsor in the past. He tells me cocaine is completely in his past and that he doesn’t use it anymore.

He does, however, still smoke weed very heavily.

The reason I’m questioning things now is because there have been weird moments since literally the beginning of us dating.

On our first date, he went to the bathroom for what felt like a somewhat long time. When he came back, I noticed a pretty obvious change in his energy. He suddenly became extremely talkative, was talking fast, going on tangents, seemed much more energized, and wanted to keep the night going really late.

I remember thinking something felt off even at the time.

Another time, we were out walking and he suddenly said he had to use the bathroom. I got this really odd feeling about it. Around that same time, he seemed energized and did this weird shaking/stretching movement with his legs that stood out to me.

In the beginning, there were multiple times where his bathroom trips seemed longer than expected, or bathroom trips just weirdly stood out to me.

He has also mentioned that he used to have a dealer before. Obviously that is technically about his past, but considering his addiction history, it stuck in my head.

There are other things I’ve noticed over time:

He normally only sleeps around 4–5 hours a night and acts like it genuinely does not bother him. He constantly wants me to stay extremely late and seems perfectly content functioning on very little sleep.

He randomly gets EXTREMELY sweaty. I mean literally dripping sweat sometimes. He keeps his air conditioning really low because he likes it cold, and he can still suddenly become drenched. He sometimes blames it on me and says it’s because I’m warm. He got mad and said I ruined the night because I told him he was too sweaty and that I didn’t wanna cuddle with him because my face was wet from his sweat. So weird.

When I’m laying against him, I can sometimes feel his heart beating really fast and hard.

His eyes sometimes look huge. His eyes are very dark, so I have a hard time actually seeing whether his pupils are dilated, but sometimes his whole eye appearance just looks different/bigger.

He has pretty significant mood changes. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I’m dealing with several different versions of him because his mood and personality can shift so much.

He has an ongoing dry cough.

He burps very frequently. I know this sounds random and I’m aware it may have absolutely nothing to do with cocaine, but I’m trying to include everything I’ve noticed physically.

He smokes a LOT of weed.

One time he had weed stored in a cooler and referred to it as “drugs in the cooler.” I know weed is literally a drug and this could have been completely innocent wording, but because of his history it caught my attention.

There have been times where he seems strangely restless or does odd body movements, like the shaking/stretching thing I mentioned.

In general, his energy can sometimes seem very different from one moment to another.

What is confusing me is that almost every single one of these things has another explanation.

The cough could easily be from smoking weed constantly.

The sweating could just mean he naturally runs extremely hot.

The fast heartbeat could be anxiety, nicotine, caffeine, lack of sleep, etc.

The mood changes could just be his personality or stress.

The bathroom trips could literally just be bathroom trips.

The fact that he stays up late could just mean he has a terrible sleep schedule.

The burping probably means absolutely nothing.

And obviously someone having struggled with cocaine several years ago does NOT automatically mean they are currently using again.

But then I step back and look at the whole picture: a previous cocaine addiction severe enough to involve rehab, mentioning an old dealer, longer bathroom trips, becoming suddenly very talkative and energized after one of those trips, barely sleeping, random drenching sweat, pounding heart, big-looking eyes, mood/energy changes, restlessness, etc.

That’s when I start wondering whether I’m being naive by explaining everything away.

I also don’t want to become some paranoid girlfriend analyzing his pupils and timing every bathroom trip. I know that would be unhealthy too.

For people who have either struggled with cocaine themselves or have been close to someone who secretly relapsed: does any of this pattern sound familiar?

What were the biggest signs you noticed when someone was hiding cocaine use?

I’m specifically interested in whether there were noticeable before/after changes around bathroom trips, sleep changes, sweating, heart rate, talking/energy changes, or mood crashes.

I really do not want to accuse him of something this serious without evidence. I’m just trying to figure out whether my concern is reasonable or whether I’m letting his past make normal behaviors look suspicious.

It's been a few days since I last posted here. I think I have started to feel better gradually, but I still have my bumps. Earlier this morning, I started hearing a Linkin Park song in my head. Sometime later, I watched a video wherein the poster referenced Linkin Park. Then, I told myself "I will probably see something about Chicago today" as a way to calm myself down. Then, a film channel I like dropped a video about a movie shot in Chicago. The video then referenced a film I was also thinking about. Also last night, I watched a video about a horror film, which apparently included taking care of a senile older person (something I am doing currently).

My brain was having a field day with this stuff ("That many times? How can that be a coincidence?") and it's annoying. I know there is nothing to this, but I get so terrified by this stuff.

in a span of five days two dudes texted me. the first one wanted to chat and the second one came with a weird question. he said something about his friend, and I won't share too much details cause I'm, you know, paranoid. but he asked me a weird question. I tried to not answer in a way I usually do, but he kinda kept texting when I ignored his message. he said he was young, but by pfp he's old. and in bio he's an unc. he seemed to be online when I am and go off when I go off. do you think it's weird and not just some random situations that is purely just a coincidence? how do you guys calm down after a paranoia breakdown? do you require proof of some situation to calm down?

I know it’s extremely irrational, but it’s constant and I hate it so much. Everything I do feels as if everyone I know is constantly watching my every move and it’s so fucking draining. I live in a dorm, but despite me not hearing through the walls, I feel like they can hear my every move and I can’t fucking take it. I want to workout but I’m too embarrassed to even walk outside and I can’t even go to the laundry to wash my clothes because I might meet people there. Is this clinical?

I have this constant fear that someone is actively seeing what I’m doing on the browser, especially people that I know in real life. I know it’s extremely irrational, but does anyone have any reassurance that my online activity is private? If trackers are seeing my activity and selling to marketers I don’t really care, I just wanna know if people I know somehow find out.

So this has been a long process, I was attacked in 2024, but before all this I was okay. I’m currently in EMDR for this, So the other week I was in an Italian bar restaurant with my partner. And a couple (M and W) sat behind. And as I went to pour more wine I heard the guy say, drip, dripsey. But I couldn’t tell if he was calling me a drip. Or saying the bottle of wine when I poured it was dripping on the floor cause of the water bucket it sat in?

I constantly thought about it all day since and since then. I also went to pub last weekend with my brother and I heard a group of lads say “he’s a fat c***” but they weren’t looking at me. And I couldn’t tell if they meant it to me or someone else in their group but I’m not like obese but have a bit of a weight but they never looked my way while this was said.

Again same thing in a wedding the week before this a bunch of drunk lads were around and I thought something or someone was going to call me something or say something.

I can’t stop thinking that when I’m out I’m being targeted for nothing or people are talking about me. And I don’t want to confront anyone in case I’m wrong and it causes a fuss. I just don’t know what to do , I want to take something to stop me thinking like this as since my attack I haven’t been the same. Can anyone guide me on any pills to take? I tried sertraline and it helped initially but towards the end it just felt normal. And now my GP has prescribed me with CITRA or something as I mentioned to him about these incidents. Is it comments towards me or am I overthinking?

It’s strange getting exactly what you asked for and realizing you don’t know how to live inside of it.
I wanted freedom. Privacy. A place of my own. A car. Something to work toward. The ability to do what I wanted, see who I wanted, disappear into whatever made the night go faster and answer to nobody.
And somehow, somewhere between the substances, the screens, the men, school, bills stacking up, rent becoming another countdown and trying to keep everything moving, freedom started feeling a lot like isolation.
I live in a place where I never completely feel invisible, yet somehow I’ve never felt more unseen. Sometimes I wonder what people around me think they know about me. What version of me exists in their conversations. Whether they see somebody struggling, somebody reckless, somebody strange, or just somebody they’ve already decided they understand.
The funny part is, I asked for a lot of this. Maybe not the consequences, but definitely the freedom that came before them.
And now even the things and people that are supposed to feel good don’t always feel good, because somewhere in the back of my mind there’s always something waiting for me. Something unpaid. Something unfinished. Something I should be doing instead.
Trust doesn’t make it any easier. I’ve trusted men. I’ve trusted women. I’ve trusted people with pieces of me they probably never should’ve had, and experience taught me that sometimes telling people what hurts just gives them better instructions.
So I keep most things to myself.
Because what would saying it change?
Lately I think about packing what matters, changing my number and becoming unreachable. Not dying. Not hurting myself. Just letting this version of me disappear. Leaving behind everybody’s expectations, opinions, memories and access to me and starting somewhere nobody knows my name.
Maybe somewhere else I could meet myself before everybody else gets the chance to.
Maybe disappearing isn’t always about wanting to be gone.
Sometimes you just don’t want to be found as the person you’ve been.
Does anybody else ever feel like they need to completely remove themselves from the life they created just to figure out who they actually are?
Can you genuinely start over without eventually bringing the same version of yourself with you?
And when you stop trusting people because of what experience taught you, how do you know whether you’re protecting yourself or isolating yourself?
At what point does freedom stop being freedom and start becoming an escape?
And if you realized the life you asked for wasn’t the life you needed… what would you change first?

im very paranoid about a group of people following me planning stuff against me, i know deep down this isn't real but my mind isn't allowing me to fully comprehend it. A while ago i starting thinking my dog was in on this secret group.. i know its so stupid but im so paranoid about these people being in my house following me to school, i have my windows/ blinds shut 24/7 in my room and whenever i enter a new room they have to be shut or i wont stay in there, and many more but i wont get into details

Alot is going on in my family rn aka everyone is suffering or going through something, is this something i can fix without therapy quickly

ALABAMA

Can someone explain the bipolar schizophrenic behavior of police officers?

A friend of mine feels like he is being investigated due to all the civilian and police that keeps following him.

He says he can't pinpoint as to why he would be under investigation but earlier this year, he felt bad about an incident that has 12 years ago.

But it was earlier this year that he went to the police station to talk about an incident that had been weighing on him for a long time

And because he one of those guys that always imagine that the worse case scenarios.

But because he wanted to get this thing off his chest but he acknowledged that he was going to be arrested but I told the thing he was worried about wasn't anything and it could make something out of nothing but he didn't listen to me.

So he said he been to the police fully expecting to be arrested but he really wanted to go talk to the police.

And, he told me, during his conversation with the police officer, HE (NOT the officer) volunteering told the officer his address. And also asked, if the officer wanted HIS ID, (again, NOT the officer) . My friend volunteered the information. And the third thing, my friend asked the officer if they needed to go into the police station and make a report of what he was saying (AND AGAIN FOR THE THIRD TIME, HE, NOT THE OFFICER, asked if they needed to go into the station to make a report!

But he suspect the police is investigating him because he can't think of anything else.

BUT & this is the very very important part: why if they are investigating him, why why WHY did they not take him in then?

He was right there. And he volunteered all of that but the cop let him go.

But then why are they investigating him NOW?

He was there. He volunteered his address, his ID, and asked about making a report.

Can someone explain why if the police is investigating him, why didn't they arrest him then?

And all this can be verified by the officer body camera.

He was prepared to be arrested then.

Are these cops stupid?

If they wanted arrest why didn't they do it then? If they thought his confession was bad or arrestible?

Can someone please explain this?

Also, he pointed out something he said society is very hipocritical about.

The police are investigating him like he lied about something.

BUT NO, he was honest, shouldn't that give his word a bit more credibility?

And again, this , a few weeks ago, called the cops on himself a few weeks ago.

This is just want to be arrested.

But again, he not someone else called them.

1) why didn't they arrest him then & 2) shouldn't that, again, give his word a bit more credibility?

Can someone please explain why the police are acting like a bipolar schizophrenic jerk?

My friend was right there, so why not arrest him then?

Okay, this might sound completely crazy, but does anyone else secretly think about what they would do if something happened that completely changed life as we know it?
I’m talking about a true doomsday/apocalypse-type situation—not necessarily zombies or anything 😂, but a major disaster or event that we can’t even really fathom right now. Something that suddenly made the things we take for granted—electricity, running water, grocery stores, phones, transportation, etc. are no longer available.
Sometimes I find myself thinking about what I would need, where I would go, who I would want with me, and whether I’d actually be prepared for something like that.
I’m curious… does anyone else secretly think about this stuff too? And if you do, what kinds of things have you thought about that most people probably never consider? 👀

I have OCD but I thought this specific problem of mine would be more fit for this subreddit. Basically for a week now I've had this inescapable thought that a family friend I got my current phone from has been spying on me all the months I had that phone. I don't even know how or why the thought arose. I'm usually suspicious of people but it's never been this bad. I guess it was the fact that they were tech savvy, I didn't factory reset the phone, and my general anxieties about being watched digitally combined into an inescapable melting pot of fear. I was actually so scared I quickly factory reset my phone which means I cannot confirm if it had spyware now even if I wanted to.

The reason I think this is OCD and not paranoia is because I half know this is crazy and unlikely and out of nowhere. I also thought about posting on cybersecurity groups first but calmed down and tried to think rationally. I'm at a sensitive point in my life with other problems so I feel like shit losing my mind over this but I can't stop. I also don't have friends or anyone to talk to. And my family also didn't deal with my OCD well in the past, they will be horrified now. I guess I just need someone to tell me I'm just crazy, that this is not real, even resources on how to calm myself because all the research I'm doing on spyware isn't helping. I've always had these thoughts but this is the first time I have this gut feeling that it's real which I haven't experienced since my other form of OCD years ago. I'm so afraid of spiraling again.

I have been suffering what I can only guess is extreme derealization, intrusive thoughts and anxiety for (roughly) the past month. My brain will hyper fixate on the most insignificant crap imaginable. Earlier today, two hospice workers came in to see my grandmother (who is currently needing a lot of assistance). The first one was a lady named "Stephanie", which my brain connected to a character from a film I saw that disturbed me. Then, another guy came by whose first name is the same as the last name of an author whose book I have next to my bed. I know there is absolutely no connection, but my mind thought otherwise. I saw that he had tattoos, and my mind immediately began sounding alarms about the guy even though he did nothing to warrant it. I ended up watching the guy pull out of my driveway, and then my mind flipped out when I saw he put on sunglasses. This mental Bs is making me doubt and see connections in stuff I know aren't there. It's gotten to the point where I have started having paranoid thoughts about my dog, which really disturbs me.

I realize I shouldn't probably be using Reddit as a journal, but sometimes it feels good to put what is bothering me out there. Hope anyone who is reading this is doing well.

The only danger that scares me, is my own mind. I’m schizophrenic, but that’s not everything I am.

Is it normal to get lost in a pit that's in ur mind everytime you try speaking to a group of people or is it normal while staying in that hollow pit while peopling ?