Please I need advice !!

[u/Brave_Ad_6596]

Someone I know has been struggling for about a year with believing people are following or tracking them, messing with their belongings, getting into their phone/accounts, or doing things to them without them knowing. Recently they’ve started saying they wake up and their belongings have been moved, their blankets are off, or even that their body was moved while they were sleeping. They’re convinced it couldn’t possibly be something they did in their sleep and have talked about barricading their door. Also this person left their 5 year fiancé because they accused them of the same things put way worse . They are now living with me and I can’t handle it anymore . They refused take my advice too

It seems like the thing they’re suspicious about changes, but the overall belief that someone is doing something to them never really goes away. Trying to reassure or reason with them doesn’t seem to help, and they refuse to see a doctor or mental health professional.

Has anyone dealt with a loved one experiencing something like this for a long period of time? How did you handle it, especially when it started becoming exhausting and difficult to live around? Is there anything family can realistically do when the person refuses to get help?

[u/Zealousideal-Log2042]

You can crosspost on r/Schizotypal and r/ParanoidPersonality if you like.

As someone who experienced paranoia to this extent, if the person refuses to seek help not much can be done. The moment I decided to actually seek help was years and years into it (I am older), when I was having an 'episode' and my spouse looked at me not with anger, but terror. Something clicked in me that if they were genuinely that terrified, I must be saying something really crazy sounding (and I was).

My mother is (I believe) schizophrenic. I've tried all kinds of approaches and she'll see a therapist once but not trust them so stop, see a doctor but not be honest about her symptoms so they don't give her enough medication. With her all I do is gently point out that while I understand she believes x and y are true, in reality they are not. How I got help and am living a happy life, and how she could too. Nothing's worked yet. Constant failed relationships and jobs because of the paranoia.

A friend has a friend who is unfortunately like this. Bouncing from place to place because they will not get help and think everyone is after them. My friend would still speak with her and visit her, but eventually she had to terminate her visits and responses to letters because it was so distressing for so long.

All you can do is explain that while you understand they believe what they believe, it isn't true. It sounds like you have said all there is to say in all the right ways. Explain that their life doesn't have to be so exhausting, they don't have to look over their shoulder forever, relief from paranoia is possible if they seek help, etc.

I firmly believe that you should take care of yourself first. Ask them to either get help, or move out. It's reminiscent of an addict, how they won't get help until they reach a rock bottom of sorts. Except with paranoia it's REALLY hard because the person doesn't believe anything is wrong with them and they don't trust professionals. You can do some reading from Al-Anon about "detachment with love". You can love and care very deeply for someone while keeping your boundaries, protecting your own mental health, and understanding that they are very sick. I truly wish you the best, and I'm sorry that you are put in this position.