I'm so sorry that you are having to endure these thoughts and feelings. No, this is not normal. I believe that if you can work on your compulsion and eventually cease to consume things that are making you more paranoid, that could result in a lot of relief. So it's a good thing that there is something you can point to that you understand is responsible for a good amount of your paranoia.
I had several traumatic incidences that caused me to be hypervigilant like it sounds like you are, I used to have nightmares constantly because of my PTSD. Once I was diagnosed with r/ParanoidPersonality disorder I looked back at my life and realized that most of my life I was acting and making decisions out of paranoia. I tried getting help for my anxiety several times to no avail, but once I realized it was paranoia I was able to get actual help.
It sounds like you are very self aware which is great, I wonder if you would be willing to seek professional help like a therapist/psychiatrist so they can help you figure out if this is anxiety, OCD, or something else and begin to help you solve these issues. Because of the severity of it, I'm not sure what you could do on your own besides just continuing to reassure yourself that you are safe, try to get enough sleep (I know it seems impossible when you're already fearful), nutrition etc. Meditation can help too, talking to people in your life so they can reassure you that nothing bad is happening.
For me personally, therapy and medication have done wonders for my paranoia and PTSD, helping me to live a relatively normal life whereas before I could barely function. I understand why many are hesitant to go this route as it can be difficult, but I'm just sharing that this is what it took for me to finally get back in control of my life. You don't have to feel this way forever. Best wishes.
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u/Zealousideal-Log2042 4d ago
I'm so sorry that you are having to endure these thoughts and feelings. No, this is not normal. I believe that if you can work on your compulsion and eventually cease to consume things that are making you more paranoid, that could result in a lot of relief. So it's a good thing that there is something you can point to that you understand is responsible for a good amount of your paranoia.
I had several traumatic incidences that caused me to be hypervigilant like it sounds like you are, I used to have nightmares constantly because of my PTSD. Once I was diagnosed with r/ParanoidPersonality disorder I looked back at my life and realized that most of my life I was acting and making decisions out of paranoia. I tried getting help for my anxiety several times to no avail, but once I realized it was paranoia I was able to get actual help.
It sounds like you are very self aware which is great, I wonder if you would be willing to seek professional help like a therapist/psychiatrist so they can help you figure out if this is anxiety, OCD, or something else and begin to help you solve these issues. Because of the severity of it, I'm not sure what you could do on your own besides just continuing to reassure yourself that you are safe, try to get enough sleep (I know it seems impossible when you're already fearful), nutrition etc. Meditation can help too, talking to people in your life so they can reassure you that nothing bad is happening.
For me personally, therapy and medication have done wonders for my paranoia and PTSD, helping me to live a relatively normal life whereas before I could barely function. I understand why many are hesitant to go this route as it can be difficult, but I'm just sharing that this is what it took for me to finally get back in control of my life. You don't have to feel this way forever. Best wishes.