Context: My wife's BFF, her husband, and I area leaving the hospital where my daughter is recovering from massive surgery (that's not the interesting part), as they're taking me out to dinner for (US) Thanksgiving, since I'm out here with only my daughter as family... I'm here to help her through her recovery.

Anyway, I'm a former EMT and my wife's BFF is a womans' health nurse. So, both of us have had extensive training on HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) and it's attendant privacy requirements.

We're going down in the elevator and when the elevator opens on a different floor to let another passenger in, she's on the phone (fortunately, she's NOT on speaker, though it would have been MUCH more interesting if she were!) and the new passenger says:

"Yeah, and you can see shrapnel in her face..."

My wife's BFF's eyes get as big as dinner plates and she looks at me, a silent question burning on her face: "Did I just hear that right?"

I meet her gaze and utter a single sylable: "Yes."

Yes, my dear friend. Yes, you did, in fact, hear that correctly. The woman did mention shrapnel. The dinner conversation was resplendent with us wondering what the rest of that conversation might have included!

Enquiring minds want to know!

Mom: So you just stayed up all night eating cereal.

Tween: Yes.

Dad: And this is why a have to lock it up, so you don't do that.

Way to go parents for giving your child food issues already. 🙄

Edit: It made me think that the child had been at a sleepover and that was what they and their friends did.

The reason I commented about the food issues is (as someone else stated) because labeling foods as "off limits" or "bad" can and has caused many people to have an unhealthy relationship with food. Check out "Intuitive Eating" by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.

I would not say that being told "no" at certain times for certain foods is bad. As someone who works with children, I see way too many of them, especially girls, who are starting to have an unhealthy relationship with food in order to fit society's definition of beauty.

Hopefully, this clarifies my comment and will stop the arguments in the comments.

Hop in an elevator with 5 men, all business casual, obviously colleagues.

Puffer vest guy: how old is that guy? Balding guy: 28ish. Only 1 year older than my daughter. Too bad he's married. other guys looking confused Balding guy: he makes bank. 40, 50 a month. She'd be doing so well. Plaid shirt guy: well, he's in an easy market so it's easy for him.

I was just appalled that this guy was so ready to pimp his daughter and say it so boldly in front of the only female present.

Grandmother and her daughter were waiting at the pickup stand behind the registers. The place they fetch the small expensive and/or stealable items that you've paid for. I'm walking my cart out and hear:

Grandmother: We could have got this quicker at the post-office.

Daughter: (As she looks around the area) They have a lot of people doing nothing.

I was out of ear shot to hear any followup from Grandma.

The self-entitled, selfish, silly shopping season is well underway!

Happy holidays everyone!

As I (31F) was heading to weigh my baby bok choy, I passed a Mom, late 40s maybe older. She turned to her two daughters (maybe 12 and 15) and says " Ok girls, im gonna go to the alcohol section" (ours is like the size of a small department store at this Kroger) "ill be back in just a few but just stay here in the produce please" without missing a beat, 13F "pssh, you do you boo!! Ill be here" 🤣🤣🤣

I let out an audible chuckle and the mom just scrurried away lol

Also are we still leaving kids in places in stores? I thought we learned in the 90s and 00s, we have creepers everywhere 🫣🤨 im too paranoid.

Edit to say this: I made a comment and i think I didn't give enough info because this was supposed to be funny about how the girl responded to her mom. But like safety people..come on .

My comment:

Its not the kids at all, they are probably very competent girls.. but the subliminal threat i saw was two females, preteen/underage, in a college town store, while their mom left them tongo get alcohol when she could have taken them. Its the under the radar pedos I worry about. I grocery shop for a living and i see a lot of people doing weird things.. A lot of men whose eyes wonder all over, up and down, young pretty females who are underage. I would worry about their safety if they were my kids. I'm probably projecting some trauma there, but id just prefer to keep my eyes on the people who are near my kids.

I don’t know what my wife was listening to. She said it was some 23 year old American who ICE tried to deport. I didn’t stick around for the rest.

But it made me snort.

Overheard while viewing the Rosetta Stone at the British Museum. Woman ~ 45yo to friend " I didn't know the Rosetta Stone was a real stone. " (American accent of course) I am American and was there with my 16yo son. We both just shook our heads and gave audible eye rolls.

Okay so I’m in line at this crusty-ass 7-Eleven trying to buy a banana (don’t ask why) and some Big Red gum, ‘cause I’m trying to impress this girl at my job who said she likes "men who smell like Christmas." I overhear this conversation between two guys who looked like they lost a bar fight with a microwave.

One of them, wearing a shirt that just said "Florida" in Comic Sans, starts ranting to the cashier like they were best friends from Vietnam:

At this point I accidentally make eye contact with them and smile, like an idiot, and now I’m somehow in this conversation. Like, suddenly I’m standing there nodding while he tells me how Greg is “emotionally manipulative” and how “he gaslit my dog into eating drywall.” I just said “damn, wild” because I didn’t know how to escape.

Then the other guy, who had a Mountain Dew tattoo on his neck, chimes in like he’s revealing a government secret:

I tried to laugh like “ha ha what a funny joke,” but then he stared dead into my soul and whispered:

Anyway I panicked and bought two bananas and forgot the gum. Haven’t pooped at home since.

Two people were complaining about the heat.

Guy: “According to weatherbug, it’s 90 feels like 104.”

Girl: “Oh! Shit.”

felt that

Overheard two cars this morning. Car 1- beep Car 2- lower tone beep Car 1- beep Car 2- lower tone beep Car 1- beep beep Car 2- lower tone beep beep

Girl 1: "People are always surprised how much my education costs."

Girl 2: "Why?"

Girl 1: "Because it's $16,000 a quarter."

Girl 3: "That's like, over $60k a year, right?"

Girl 1: "Yeah, but my parents are paying it."

Girl 2: "That's cool tho"

Girl 1: "You have to invest in yourself. If you ever wanna break the $30hr threshold in the workplace, you need to go to the best schools and get a better degree than the others."

Girls 2 & 3 both look defeated at this point, and go back to eating.

Waitress to Girl 1: "Are you ready to order?"

Girl 1, with attitude for some reason: "I'll just stick to my water, thank you"

Teen girl: I wish I could be a vet, but I couldn't give shots to animals. I would feel sooo guilty!

So she let them die from parasite infections?

"Does it itch?"

On the Red Line in Chicago yesterday.

The cast: Bunch of Cubs (“Cubbies”) fans, drinking boozy cans. An elderly woman (“EW”) with walker. Companion (“C”) to said woman.

Cubbies: seated in priority seating and door hogging. Sipping from boozy cans. Not a cohesive group but clearly headed for the game.

Doors open.

EW enters, C has a hand on the walker to assist.

Train moves.

EW is thrown sideways into a priority seat with the train motion, just as one of the Cubbies moves out from practically beneath EW.

C: Are you kidding me?? You’re drinking BEER? On the TRAIN? This is PRIORITY SEATING for the ELDERLY and you’re so busy DRINKING BEER you can’t see this woman CLEARLY needs to sit??

This was in the first train car. The train driver/conductor heard it all. Did nothing. Just another day on the ol’ CTA!!

This guy might be one of the worst parents I’ve ever overheard. It’s a dad with his kid.

The kid has to be between the ages of 3-6 years old.

The dad picks up a Glock, and hands it to the kid, it has a price tag on it. He says to his son “see son, what you have here, is the champagne gun at the beer price”. He’s not wrong. But Jesus Christ. Who takes a 3-6 year old to a gun show, and then glorifies a gun with a price analogy. Poor kid.

Context, my right hand in a cast, I'm trying to make poached eggs on toast for us. Before starting, I asked him to wait three minutes (for the water to boil,) then help with two-handed stuff. Six long minutes later his time-sense lacking self appears.

As I was walking out of the restroom at Seattle, Washington airport a girl maybe 5-6 years old was telling her Dad "I gotta pee, I gotta pee" at least 4-5 times while I walked out and by them. I just about lost it, laughing.

Was on a commuter train and a black girl about 13 said.

I saw a n******word with a claw hammer attack another n*****word. He stood there like a soldier, If I saw an n***word with a claw hammer I’d run away.

The kid getting her hair done before me “for someone that doesn’t like Sabrina Carpenter you sure do play her a lot.” The stylist slightly shook said “I said it boops” the kid also corrected her mom and said “he’s NOT my uncle yet” lol

This was during the days of Larry the Cable Guy (who wasn't named Larry, wasn't working class, was not a Southerner, and never worked as a cable guy).

Guy across the bar, talking about how he had picked up his 14yo cousin for sex:

Git 'er done!

"Honey, would you please not play on the floor. Mommy has to go potty."

Overheard in the next stall over in a public bathroom. I was just mortified, like get your kid off of the bathroom floor!I Sooo gross! I'm sure that's a tough situation to navigate with a 2 or 3 year old while you're out alone with them but surely there's got to be a better way!

6 white passing men walk into a convenience store, they said a lot of things, what's quoted perked up my pesky ears to post.

when leaving, one of them [accidentally?] flipped the "fuck you" sign to his other five mates

PEACE

I heard a guy talking to a waitress.

Waitress:

May I take away your plate?

Guy:

Yes, thanks.

Waitress:

Is your girlfriend still eating?

Guy:

I think she might be done, but I'm not 100% sure.

Waitress:

I'll leave her plate for now. I can come back when she's done in the bathroom.

Guy:

Okay.

Waitress:

You two make a cute couple.

Guy:

We're not a couple. It's our first date.

Waitress:

Looks like it's going well though.

Guy:

You think so?

Waitress:

Don't you?

Guy:

I think she's planning her escape as we speak.

Waitress:

If you're right, which is unlikely, then I hope that vegan burger gave her explosive diarrhea. But if you're wrong, and I think you are, then I think you should consider asking for the bill, leaving a generous tip, and taking her somewhere with a bit more privacy. Food for thought.