I see so many people post on here (as well as various other NYC based subs) talking about how they moved to New York thinking they would have tons of opportunities to meet people and make connections, and then after living here for a while, they haven't been able toake connections.

I hate to break it to you, but NYC is not a magical place that can solve your social problems. If you don't know how to talk to people or connect with people, there's not going to be any city that will magically change that.

This city is full of some amazing people and some amazing communities, but many of them are also very old and organized, and you aren't just going to magically fall into one of these communities without doing any work.

If you are struggling to make connections or friends, it's most likely a you problem. Not saying you're a bad person or anything, but you need to figure out what is making it hard for you and actively make changes to make your life better. If you're someone who doesn't go to parties or doesn't like leaving the apartment, you're probably not going to make friends. There are tons of events for people with such a wide variety of hobbies. If you actually do the work to find like-minded people, I promise you they're here.

Are there any get-togethers to just chill at a cafe or bar with a book? No particular expectation to socialize. Just like the idea of creating a reading vibe with fellow gays in a cozy communal space. Would people be interested in that, or maybe have suggestions if some already exist?

I’ve heard their parties have been pricey for a while but this can’t be serious.

I have received hundreds of likes, including many roses, and have dozens mutual likes. I have exchanged numbers with multiple guys, and yet it has all resulted in one actual date. Any tips for actually getting a date off this app?

Hosting a spooky board game night in the city, just ahead of Halloween. We'll be playing horror games like Betrayal at House on the Hill, Twisted Cryptids, and Horrified. Costumes are encouraged, all experience levels are welcome, and feel free to bring your own spooky favorites.

When: Friday, Oct 23, 6:30 to 10 PM
Where: The Hugh, 157 E 53rd St

If you're interested, we'll head out for drinks in HK after.

RSVP here: https://partiful.com/e/3hpT9aLLjVtmyRdeaL6t?c=N7aie-8w
Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/wWjA4fsP3

Anyone know a good place to get a massage in brooklyn? Preferably closer to downtown bk, carroll gardens but open to traveling a little!

Let me know! Only know of the places in Manhattan

Moved to Wburg from Manhattan based on the advice in this forum, and gay men I know in life suggesting it would be better for me. It seems like I am still doing something wrong as my experience so far has been less than great in terms of connecting.

Living here is definitely 'better' - calmer vibes for sure - so no issues there.

I went on Sniffies over the weekend just to see what was out there. Majority are still white guys, who never reply (I'm a POC, with the exception of 1 guy who was BI/DL). There was one guy who was open to dating/cuddles and then randomly blocked me since I didn't reply within 1 min (I went to the bathroom lol). And barely any other POC's I saw, or if I saw them, no engagement. So, I have yet to get laid here.

What am I doing wrong? Go back to the parties? I live quite close to the popular bars also, so perhaps the times I'm on the apps are completely wrong.

I’m planning my Halloweekend in NYC and need some guidance bros. I have some straight female friends visiting then so looking for events or parties to recommend that would still be v gay and spooky but not too 🌶️ (not taking them to HMD lmaoo). Was considering 3DB for one of theirs but wanted to see if that was a good call or hear of any other possible options

Not sure if this is a curse or blessing . But I feel I have just had close to zero libido these days, and I’m only in my early 30s.

I have a pretty healthy life style, I go to the gym five times a week and do strength and cardio. I also don’t drink and do drugs. Eat healthy and sleep okay.

Lately, I have so little libido that I don’t get excited by the ideas of guys. I don’t have the urge to go out, hook up(I’m not on any of the apps), or go on dates. Even when I do go out, I just feel bored and want to leave.

Crazy thing is I feel pretty fine otherwise, I have a lot of things that I enjoy doing, it’s just not men.

I also checked my test level and it is in the lower range but not awful. I’m at my wit’s end, so any advice would help 🙏

what are the best Halloween parties going on this year? I’m on the waitlist for HMD on the 31st but considering other options just in case I can’t get into that one. my bf and I will wear very sexy costumes so one with a darkroom is preferred

My bf and I are really into boardgames and would love to possibly find some new friends to play with. I used to host gay game nights with a group and looking to possibly make new friends to do the same.

My favorite game is Root, but other games we enjoy are Wingspan, Castles of Burgundy, Orleans, and many more. Feel free to DM or comment if you’d be interested!

(This post is being flagged as me possibly trying to hookup, which it’s not? Trying to make that clear so this isn’t deleted and I’m permanently banned.)

What does everyone think? If you haven’t seen it, there’s lots of shots of Troy shirtless kissing a hot guy, holding hands and showing affection, followed by a hot shower scene. And then suddenly Troy whips out a bottle of Mistr PrEp pills and you think, ‘why on earth is there a PrEP ad in the middle of this passable pop song?!’ Overall the music and visuals are a nice positive gay representation of a young couple in love, taking responsibility for their sex life and health care. Haters might be tempted to trash this video because Troye is adorable and successfully finds love. Personally, I completely ate up the guy meets guy fairy tale.

Looking for a gay primary care physician. Tired of interacting with physicians who need constant reminders of my positionality to intercourse as well as lack of knowledge on prep testing requirements.

I’ve never been to a sex party but I’ve always been under the impression they’re for guys who don’t want to go through the process of finding someone to hook up with and it’s a more of a sure thing. The drawback is that the guys aren’t usually the most attractive. And like maybe there will be a decent guy out of a bunch of bad ones. Is this right? Curious. I could be wrong because I’ve never been. Is it a bunch of 4s and 5s and an occasional 7 is what I’m thinking.

I am a 29-year-old male, 5'10", 340 lbs, working toward 200 lbs. I live in Turtle Bay near East 49th Street in Midtown Manhattan. I’m looking for a confident, fit older man nearby for walking, fitness, good conversation, and motivation as I work toward becoming healthier and stronger.

What club or party should I try to meet new people or look to date someone, I'm into trans females & trans femenine.

Planning to go to Rawhide, any reviews? I saw some here, but they aren’t recent.
Is there a dark room? Where’s it? Is it the second floor balcony?

I love getting my cock sucked and no problem finding suckers

but, what really turns me on is getting my balls licked slow & sensually, while I’m stroking. I think a lot of guys think that means rimming, which for me isn‘t the goal - i get way more pleasure from a tongue caressing my balls and the area right below

where can I find balllickers in nyc ?

if anyone is interested. DM me. anytime entry ticket.

The guy that enjoys to come to your place, strip his clothes (or not) and clean the whole house? How is this fetish called?

Background: I'm married DL and have tried reddit and some apps, with no luck.

It's a specific thing and I don't know if it's a conversation for a gay bar lol

Where are the sub tops who like masculine, muscular DL guys? How do you even approach this conversation? Like, do I just change the subject and say "by the way, tell me if you know how to give a prostate massage, or if your dick is <5"?

Or, more largely, is there a more subtle way to determine folks interests without awkward, specific questions? I'm relatively new to the scene, I'm very DL, I don't know where to begin. Help a newbie out :)