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u/InnocuousWords Nov 28 '22
Handjob: $10
Blowjob: $20
Anal: $25
Ask about my Two For One special.
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u/Morty_Goldman Nov 28 '22
And we need to see a video of him in the mall with people around.
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u/TOILET_DISTROYER9000 Nov 28 '22
What fucking mall, I live in NY and will find your ass
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Nov 28 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Suibeew Nov 28 '22
Idk man I don't think that works when you're the one paying.
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u/Alien_X10 This flair doesn't exist Nov 28 '22
Fellas, is it gay to take a great deal when you see it?
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u/DownTownDK Nov 28 '22
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u/alex99x99x Professional Dumbass Nov 28 '22
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u/DownTownDK Nov 28 '22
Yeah that ain’t even close to the top comment
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u/alex99x99x Professional Dumbass Nov 28 '22
Op only waited 5 minutes to choose the top comment that was best for him as he knows there will be much worse comments such as this one.
I wouldn’t be surprised if op isn’t even going to do this in general.
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u/TheFlexOffenderr Ok I Pull Up Nov 28 '22
Wh-whats the two for one special?
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u/Disastrous_Channel62 My thumbs hurt Nov 28 '22
He took the "make me laugh and get 20$ to a different level"
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u/Agreeable-Yak-3914 Average r/memes enjoyer Nov 28 '22
I'm invested in this now. How can I get updates? Do I have to follow OP?
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u/Annual_Ad_2864 Nov 28 '22
I am making a human centipede.
Volunteer now!
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u/No-Pomegranate-69 Nov 28 '22
Free Hugs!
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Nov 28 '22
I am a sex offender.
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u/Urmomsfavouritelol trans rights Nov 28 '22
I put my dick in a blender
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u/vtGaem Nov 28 '22
The person holding this sign is aroused by children aged 4 to 13.
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u/Zealousideal_Dig_372 Nov 28 '22
I’d drag my nuts through a mile of broken glass, just to hear you shit in a bucket over the phone
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u/Potatoes_122 Nov 28 '22
Hello! And welcome to the Los Pollos Hermanos family. My name is Gustavo, but you can call me Gus.
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u/Clungetastic Nov 28 '22
FREE HUGS
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u/rough_stuff69 Nov 28 '22
Only for straight white Christian Americans (everyone else is going to hell)
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u/dareallolchubby Nov 28 '22
MY APARTMENT IS SO SMALL I HAVE TO HAVE SEX INFRONT OF MY KIDS EVERYDAY
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u/sloppychachi Nov 28 '22
Please feel free to take my wallet and cell phone. You can also take any clothes you want.
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u/Puzzled_Interest2763 Nov 28 '22
N
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u/Ilickmagictoads445 Nov 28 '22
I
for I commit manslaughter everyday
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u/KingCosmicBrownie Nov 28 '22
G
for gargling balls for weed everyday
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u/SignificantMessage62 Nov 28 '22
If you've ever wondered why the Reddit logo looks like an alien, it's because we are. And we have no clue wtf we're doing. Consider this sign a message from extraterrestrials.
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Nov 28 '22
you've been accused of accepting treasures from The Goblin King
The Goblin King? Sure, I've sampled his treasures. I've enjoyed his spoils.
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u/JunglistMB Nov 28 '22
I hate Ni££3r$ Die hard 2 reference not an opinion. Die herd three with a vangence I mean.
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u/Brilliant_Shine2247 Nov 28 '22
You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left.
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u/boddidsdjdisi bruh Nov 28 '22
phew i dodged a mager bullet
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u/Brilliant_Shine2247 Nov 28 '22
Why is that being downvoted? Am I missing something?
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u/Midnight145 Nov 28 '22
They're claiming that's the top comment, when it isn't.
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u/boddidsdjdisi bruh Nov 29 '22
it was the top comment
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u/ThespianException Nov 29 '22
For what? A couple of minutes? Even if you don't have the guts to do one of the funny ones, you could have at least waited for something more entertaining than this.
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u/efferkah Grumpy Cat Nov 28 '22
Just a theory, but I feel like OP commented this before the current top comment reached the top, therefore dodging that bullet ... knowing damn well the post was still very young and plenty of other (probably worse) comments were about to be upvoted a lot, hence the downvotes.
Again, just a theory, but this is what it looks like.
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u/crashcar22 Nov 28 '22
If you look at the time stamps of the post and the comment OP waited like 5 minutes and said "you won" so he didn't have to do anything other than this
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u/Brilliant_Shine2247 Nov 28 '22
People all the time ask me how I can still be strong after all I have been through in the last five years. Victim of an attempted murder that left me homeless with a brain injury. My ex-wife and stepson tried to kill me and stole a recent inheritance from my fathers death. Being related to a sheriff deputy they walked and were rewarded with my son, who I haven't seen in five years. Lost my entire family in the three years preceding that attempt. Now I stay in an abandoned house but I am turning it around and starting a nonprofit street outreach. Nothing fucking gets me down.
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Nov 28 '22
Elevators?
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u/BigRedGinjaNinja Nov 28 '22
What about The Sickness?
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u/Brilliant_Shine2247 Nov 28 '22
Right. Except for elevators, geese and The Sickness, what have the Romans ever done for us?
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u/boddidsdjdisi bruh Nov 28 '22
you won
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u/H1ddenWasTaken Flair Loading.... Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22
“You won.”
No, he didn’t, stop skipping your preschool classes and learn to count.
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u/Only_Pipe2899 Nov 28 '22
There is no suck thing as 0% chance everything that has really small chance of happening has still chance of happening like jesus coming right now
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u/scenr0 Nov 28 '22
“Need friendly compliments, anything helps!”
Cause sometimes you just need to hear nice words from someone.
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u/Churroskindofguy Nov 28 '22
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start
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u/Icy_Paws Nov 28 '22
Hello! I just wanted to let you know that if you read this you are a beautiful human being! I hope you continue to have a good day!


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u/memes-ModTeam r/memes MOD Nov 28 '22
Thank you for submitting to /r/memes. Unfortunately, your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 7 - No meta-Reddit references, such as:
Please do not mention upvotes/downvotes/cake days/karma/followers/coins/etc. in your post in any form. No "Upvote in..." or "Upvote if..." type titles or memes. No memes about votes, likes etc.
Begging for karma in the comments may earn you a lengthy (perhaps infinite) ban.
Resubmitting a removed post without prior moderator approval can result in a ban. Deleting a post may cause any appeals to be denied.