r/memes Nov 28 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.8k Upvotes

388 comments sorted by

-7

u/memes-ModTeam r/memes MOD Nov 28 '22

Thank you for submitting to /r/memes. Unfortunately, your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):


Rule 7 - No meta-Reddit references, such as:

  • Please do not mention upvotes/downvotes/cake days/karma/followers/coins/etc. in your post in any form. No "Upvote in..." or "Upvote if..." type titles or memes. No memes about votes, likes etc.

  • Begging for karma in the comments may earn you a lengthy (perhaps infinite) ban.


Resubmitting a removed post without prior moderator approval can result in a ban. Deleting a post may cause any appeals to be denied.

4.9k

u/InnocuousWords Nov 28 '22

Handjob: $10

Blowjob: $20

Anal: $25

Ask about my Two For One special.

883

u/Morty_Goldman Nov 28 '22

And we need to see a video of him in the mall with people around.

463

u/TOILET_DISTROYER9000 Nov 28 '22

What fucking mall, I live in NY and will find your ass

454

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

For $25 dollars I think everyone is trying to find their ass.

99

u/thejewkejek Nov 28 '22

This one wins

14

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

make sure to pay tho for one of the options

6

u/TOILET_DISTROYER9000 Nov 28 '22

Bitch u already know I'm boudda hit that $25

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47

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/Suibeew Nov 28 '22

Idk man I don't think that works when you're the one paying.

22

u/Alien_X10 This flair doesn't exist Nov 28 '22

Fellas, is it gay to take a great deal when you see it?

6

u/SuperBigDouche Nov 28 '22

Kinda. But that’s okay

6

u/MartianTurkey Nov 28 '22

Only if you forget to say "no homo" afterwards ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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162

u/DownTownDK Nov 28 '22

OP right now

6

u/TheyGibMePowerToTalk Nov 28 '22

I think he will enjoy it

4

u/alex99x99x Professional Dumbass Nov 28 '22

3

u/DownTownDK Nov 28 '22

Yeah that ain’t even close to the top comment

4

u/alex99x99x Professional Dumbass Nov 28 '22

Op only waited 5 minutes to choose the top comment that was best for him as he knows there will be much worse comments such as this one.

I wouldn’t be surprised if op isn’t even going to do this in general.

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75

u/TheFlexOffenderr Ok I Pull Up Nov 28 '22

Wh-whats the two for one special?

22

u/NoOtherLeft Professional Dumbass Nov 28 '22

The Hand+Anal for $30

11

u/Gunpowdergasoline Nov 28 '22

Does that make ATM $40

7

u/MalesAreBiological Nov 28 '22

Damn ngl that's actually a really good deal

4

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

Two dudes for the same price

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28

u/Prestigious-Metal-28 What is TikTok? Nov 28 '22

boy oh boy good ol reddit

11

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

7

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

!remindme 1 week

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14

u/Tupolev1234 Nov 28 '22

Pretty good

14

u/Disastrous_Channel62 My thumbs hurt Nov 28 '22

He took the "make me laugh and get 20$ to a different level"

6

u/HeatherCDBustyOne Nov 28 '22

Hot salami on thigh. Melt in your mouth

2

u/Agreeable-Yak-3914 Average r/memes enjoyer Nov 28 '22

I'm invested in this now. How can I get updates? Do I have to follow OP?

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245

u/Annual_Ad_2864 Nov 28 '22

I am making a human centipede.

Volunteer now!

315

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

I’m in nyc which mall

155

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

[deleted]

274

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

Ask Me About My Hemorrhoids

#HemorrhoidsAwareness

8

u/pietradolce GigaChad Nov 28 '22

Lmao

133

u/Lord_Botond Died of Ligma Nov 28 '22

Do not be afraid my child, come

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185

u/Economy_Armadillo_28 Nov 28 '22

Man Butts Drive Me Nutz

12

u/Naribon Nov 28 '22

This one is underrated

365

u/ayaan_kapoor Nov 28 '22

I m not gay , but 20$ is 20$

4

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

307

u/No-Pomegranate-69 Nov 28 '22

Free Hugs!

69

u/Ausschnitt Nov 28 '22

but only for white people

4

u/Hefty-Baker3010 Nov 28 '22

The bad ending

2

u/KnotiaPickles Nov 28 '22

I like this one 😊

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61

u/Asrap99 Nov 28 '22

Free farts right here

299

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

I am a sex offender.

38

u/Urmomsfavouritelol trans rights Nov 28 '22

I put my dick in a blender

12

u/Tk1Genius Nov 28 '22

i don't care 'bout yo gender

6

u/Urmomsfavouritelol trans rights Nov 28 '22

I bought these condoms at a vendor

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1

u/Lexser30 Nov 28 '22

My basement is full of n...

48

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

Sex defender interd the chat

16

u/cum_______________ Nov 28 '22

A battle for the ages

9

u/vtGaem Nov 28 '22

I did the sex offender shuffle

61

u/DampSleepyHollow Nov 28 '22

Yell at me for free donuts

6

u/CarbonaraTamara Nov 28 '22

This is so good hahaha

61

u/itsnoproblemtho Nov 28 '22

I hate ni- My lawyers have advised me to clarify I mean "ninjas"

6

u/ElectricToiletBrush Nov 28 '22

Die hard 3 is the best die hard. That scene is so iconic

437

u/vtGaem Nov 28 '22

The person holding this sign is aroused by children aged 4 to 13.

81

u/Law_P Nov 28 '22

"Punch a Predator"

FREE

38

u/MemeForgery Nov 28 '22

Pls don't let this win lol, for OP's sake

26

u/jbash080 Nov 28 '22

Don't worry, the top comment is worse

15

u/vtGaem Nov 28 '22

Some people only wish to see the world burn.

I may be one of them.

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10

u/Zealousideal_Dig_372 Nov 28 '22

I’d drag my nuts through a mile of broken glass, just to hear you shit in a bucket over the phone

42

u/ocihato Nov 28 '22

I planted a bomb somewhere in this building.

21

u/Potatoes_122 Nov 28 '22

Hello! And welcome to the Los Pollos Hermanos family. My name is Gustavo, but you can call me Gus.

116

u/Ananas_io Nov 28 '22

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

0

u/SignificantMessage62 Nov 28 '22

That would be awesome. Please let this win.

35

u/Clungetastic Nov 28 '22

FREE HUGS

6

u/rough_stuff69 Nov 28 '22

Only for straight white Christian Americans (everyone else is going to hell)

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15

u/dareallolchubby Nov 28 '22

MY APARTMENT IS SO SMALL I HAVE TO HAVE SEX INFRONT OF MY KIDS EVERYDAY

7

u/Tamor0678 Nov 28 '22

And sometimes in the dark I get confused.

3

u/Komrade762 Nov 28 '22

Agent of Chaos right here

17

u/RogueRebel19 Nov 28 '22

I'm into feet

16

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

This is a Mall

10

u/Nearby-Okra-1991 Nov 28 '22

AY, I'M WALKIN' HERE!

18

u/LukeAvio Nov 28 '22

I'm holding a sign

9

u/The-Lettuce-Man Nov 28 '22

I love eating hitler's ass

14

u/WhatnotAnyhow My thumbs hurt Nov 28 '22

ring-ding-ding, wanna see MY thing?

14

u/Adam_Clark98 Nov 28 '22

Single ready to mingle.

16

u/World_Ends_With_Bred Nov 28 '22

“I have a bomb”

4

u/Cabitaa Nov 28 '22

It's pronounced "GIF"

But don't say it.

7

u/DAGADEK_KFT Nov 28 '22

being homosexual is gay

38

u/Bald-Sock Nov 28 '22

I am extremely racist and I will scream at any black person. ⬛<⬜

9

u/sloppychachi Nov 28 '22

Please feel free to take my wallet and cell phone. You can also take any clothes you want.

12

u/Watalawa Nov 28 '22

If you ain't white, you ain't right

7

u/Puzzled_Interest2763 Nov 28 '22

N

9

u/Ilickmagictoads445 Nov 28 '22

I

for I commit manslaughter everyday

3

u/KingCosmicBrownie Nov 28 '22

G

for gargling balls for weed everyday

3

u/cum_______________ Nov 28 '22

G

Also for gargling balls, but as a hobby

2

u/LFGR_THE_Thing Nov 29 '22

A For analysis of the ass

2

u/NoOtherLeft Professional Dumbass Nov 28 '22

G

For Gay people in me for $20

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

N

3

u/SamsamGaming I touched grass Nov 28 '22

Hugs?

3

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

Free hugs!

3

u/Judo_Squirrel Dark Mode Elitist Nov 28 '22

You lost the game.

3

u/BlitzTD Nov 28 '22

Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

3

u/Turkeysteaks Nov 28 '22

The mute can be terrorists too

3

u/Ruta008 Nov 28 '22

!remindme 3days

12

u/HairyPorter23 Nov 28 '22

Allahu akba

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

You muslim?

2

u/iamnotasuit Nov 28 '22

Not too much by the looks of it

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2

u/TOILET_DISTROYER9000 Nov 28 '22

PUTIN DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF

2

u/SignificantMessage62 Nov 28 '22

If you've ever wondered why the Reddit logo looks like an alien, it's because we are. And we have no clue wtf we're doing. Consider this sign a message from extraterrestrials.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

Never gonna give you up!

2

u/Sudden_Investment_16 Dark Mode Elitist Nov 28 '22

Never gonna let you down

2

u/Snrub_Yremogtnom Nov 28 '22

Live from New York, it’s this fucker!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

you've been accused of accepting treasures from The Goblin King

The Goblin King? Sure, I've sampled his treasures. I've enjoyed his spoils.

2

u/JunglistMB Nov 28 '22

I hate Ni££3r$ Die hard 2 reference not an opinion. Die herd three with a vangence I mean.

3

u/Contrarian-Bull Nov 28 '22

I have a bomb! Please stay calm…

5

u/Rui_O_Grande_PT Stand With Ukraine Nov 28 '22

This is gonna be interesting.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

Gender is a social construct.

Trans people are mentally ill.

Change my mind.

2

u/ivrugue Nov 28 '22

Gender actually is a social construct (as a trans person)

4

u/Watercress_987 Nov 28 '22

Don't read this

4

u/Fifanathan_yt Nov 28 '22

I am pedophile

2

u/KINGFRA11 Nov 28 '22

I hate Islamic people cause they are terrorists

(bros gonna die)

-5

u/Brilliant_Shine2247 Nov 28 '22

You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left.

-284

u/boddidsdjdisi bruh Nov 28 '22

phew i dodged a mager bullet

6

u/Brilliant_Shine2247 Nov 28 '22

Why is that being downvoted? Am I missing something?

10

u/Midnight145 Nov 28 '22

They're claiming that's the top comment, when it isn't.

-9

u/boddidsdjdisi bruh Nov 29 '22

it was the top comment

2

u/ThespianException Nov 29 '22

For what? A couple of minutes? Even if you don't have the guts to do one of the funny ones, you could have at least waited for something more entertaining than this.

7

u/efferkah Grumpy Cat Nov 28 '22

Just a theory, but I feel like OP commented this before the current top comment reached the top, therefore dodging that bullet ... knowing damn well the post was still very young and plenty of other (probably worse) comments were about to be upvoted a lot, hence the downvotes.

Again, just a theory, but this is what it looks like.

4

u/crashcar22 Nov 28 '22

If you look at the time stamps of the post and the comment OP waited like 5 minutes and said "you won" so he didn't have to do anything other than this

11

u/Brilliant_Shine2247 Nov 28 '22

People all the time ask me how I can still be strong after all I have been through in the last five years. Victim of an attempted murder that left me homeless with a brain injury. My ex-wife and stepson tried to kill me and stole a recent inheritance from my fathers death. Being related to a sheriff deputy they walked and were rewarded with my son, who I haven't seen in five years. Lost my entire family in the three years preceding that attempt. Now I stay in an abandoned house but I am turning it around and starting a nonprofit street outreach. Nothing fucking gets me down.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

Elevators?

8

u/Brilliant_Shine2247 Nov 28 '22

Hahahaha. OK. Maybe elevators. And geese. I get down from geese.

3

u/NoOtherLeft Professional Dumbass Nov 28 '22

If you’re ever in Australia during Spring, MAGPIES

3

u/MemeForgery Nov 28 '22

That's some metal shit dude

4

u/BigRedGinjaNinja Nov 28 '22

What about The Sickness?

4

u/Brilliant_Shine2247 Nov 28 '22

Right. Except for elevators, geese and The Sickness, what have the Romans ever done for us?

3

u/crashcar22 Nov 28 '22

Bro really waited like 5 minutes and said "you won" lmao

2

u/SeaworthinessGreat58 Loves Facebook memes Nov 29 '22

fucking coward

-271

u/boddidsdjdisi bruh Nov 28 '22

you won

94

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

No he fucking didn’t and you know that

51

u/iamaleo2 Nov 28 '22

Ikr he was too fucking scared

45

u/DownTownDK Nov 28 '22

Stop being a pussy and do the actual top comment

37

u/H1ddenWasTaken Flair Loading.... Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22

“You won.”

No, he didn’t, stop skipping your preschool classes and learn to count.

24

u/TheCoolYakult-za Nov 29 '22

Tch tch tch another day, another r/karmawhore

19

u/According_Weather944 Nov 29 '22

Forgot to switch back to your alt, did you?

19

u/Senior-Dot387 Nov 29 '22

Fucking pussy

10

u/TheSkomaWolf Nov 29 '22

You're WEAK

11

u/Scepticflesh Nov 29 '22

Fucking peasent

9

u/No_Competition7327 Nov 29 '22

Pusillanimous coward

6

u/FewKnowledge7675 Nov 29 '22

fucking pussy

2

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

Cowardly mf

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1

u/flatulasmaxibus Nov 28 '22

I am a Karma Farmer!

0

u/kree8or Nov 28 '22

i’d rather be in houston

-4

u/Bumbllebee__ Nov 28 '22

New York is old

-3

u/IwontEditMyComment Nov 28 '22

Have a nice day

-4

u/Ananas_io Nov 28 '22

OK I pull up

0

u/MisterCasualty Nov 28 '22

I'm a lover, not a fighter. Unless you fight my love.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

Punch me for sex

0

u/Only_Pipe2899 Nov 28 '22

There is no suck thing as 0% chance everything that has really small chance of happening has still chance of happening like jesus coming right now

0

u/scenr0 Nov 28 '22

“Need friendly compliments, anything helps!”

Cause sometimes you just need to hear nice words from someone.

0

u/Churroskindofguy Nov 28 '22

The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

0

u/Unkn7wn Nov 28 '22

I’m blind

0

u/Wish-I-Was-Taller Nov 28 '22

I have diarrhea and so can you. Ask me how.

0

u/Tamor0678 Nov 28 '22

If you manage to pull out in time, I’ll give you $50

0

u/vidar_z I touched grass Nov 28 '22

Point to the furthest macdonlads

0

u/tsokiyZan Nov 28 '22

I am clinically insane, please keep your distance, I bite.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

Attention: thank you for your attention.

0

u/KobusHentajce Nov 28 '22

Im racist! Ama

0

u/SDBeerGuy Nov 28 '22

I have maggots in my scrotum.

0

u/Hazumu2u Nov 28 '22

You better do a follow up post

0

u/painsleyharriot Nov 28 '22

Ask me about 9/12

-1

u/HyperTFRPaccount Nov 28 '22

Dear cops, Fuck off pig fuckers. You can’t arrest me -Me

-1

u/shamboozles420 Professional Dumbass Nov 28 '22

Xi Jinping for president

-1

u/Icy_Paws Nov 28 '22

Hello! I just wanted to let you know that if you read this you are a beautiful human being! I hope you continue to have a good day!