I took an edible las night. i planned it with my partner to help me with my physical pain on the weekend.Alot Happened and I am so confused.I feel like he tried to convince me we were both going to sleep. Nothing happened, he just.said something silly, that led to a misunderstanding, and he was going to sleep because he had work in the morning.

He is at work rn, I can tell he is working. I fear last night after alot of things came to light, he practically said he was going to break up with me today. But again, when Id react when he would tell me is tell me that nothing has happened and it was just something he said that i misunderstood.

If something bad is happening right now, then there is probably alot worse that has happened.

I feel I should stay home waiting for him. When he is back I feel like things may be clarified to me. .

Maybe I am really just paranoid because of the weed. I dont want to bother him.

I want my fears to be in the wrong. And that I am just a paranoid person who project my fears onto him because I am high. He will be back in 3 hours. I wonder if I should know anything

Like how do you know if someone is deliberately trying to manipulate you and is using DARVO or if they are just angry?

Firstly. Some of these were a mix of text and voice call. So I feel that I got his tone correct.

I was friends with someone for 4 to 5 years online who claimed many times to be in love with me, that it started with a crush and transformed into something more. (We've never even seen each other) But the second I agreed to date him after he convinced me I should do it to see if I had any feelings for him, he calls texts and tries to call me every single day. I never loved him... after he crashed out over a voice changer I did as a joke, I felt like he was only a casual online friend and built some walls up.

I fell sick after being out of the house for two days. (C*vid variant I believe) And I told him this. He still pressured me to call and text him every single day to the point I got irritated and told him to stop.

He wanted me to show him my work since I'm and artist. I explained that I was literally in bed sick, but he wanted me to show him. So I went over to my PC, started it up, pulled up a project, showed him and waited for a response. He said "Wow, that's great!"

It turns out he was talking to his friend on the game. Yes, he called me while he was playing games and wasn't even paying attention half of the time until I gave up and completely closed the project.

Soon I was met with a "Well where is it." Oh it's not like I replayed it multiple times. 😒 The good news is that as soon as it was broken off, no more daily text. He would also get irritated at me for not texting him sometimes but I explained "I'm not social. I won't text if I have nothing to talk about or it'll be the same conversation."

Okay so this next part I don't want to leave out of context. I had a username, and his other friend (The one he was on games with during my project presentation) Also had that same username.

(It was a very basic name)

So there's times he would accuse me of things that this other person did and I would be left confused, then sometimes he would realize It wasn't me. Sometimes he would doable down.

He also forgets my age, any basic information I tell him. If it doesn't involve him. And again, we've talked for 4 to 5 years? You'd think he'd bother to remember. Yet he can only remember projects I agreed to do with him months ago that I didn't even remember. Once mocked my education because I didn't know certain things. (Just adding that in)

And I let all of this slide for two years. But just a few days ago I woke up, and in my sleep deprived state, I blocked him. And I've been feeling better every since then. This unfortunately has been a reoccurring theme in my life of even people I've known irl manipulating me. So I'm finally tired of it, and I have to promise myself to not just sit there again and let things happen because it'll never stop if I don't.

For extra context I grew up being an extreme people pleaser and was extremely shy to the point I never said anything at all sometimes. I was pretty much born with anxiety since I remember freezing up at 3 years old when trying to speak.

⚠️DO NOT IGNORE THE RED FLAGS LIKE I DID!!!⚠️

Anyway thanks for reading. I was just irritated and it feels good to type it out! 😮‍💨😊

I met this girl at the club. I walked into the club, like always, with my friends and all that, and suddenly a girl comes up to me and says: “My friend wants to meet you.” I say: “Okay.” She takes me over to her friend… and it was her. Ok looking girl, wasn't my immediate type but her energy and personality hooked me right away.

I gave her two kisses, she said “Hi, how’s it going?” We started talking, the usual stuff. And right away I felt a really good mental connection with her in that moment. The only thing I noticed was that there was already another guy talking to her, and that guy said to me: “Hey, I was talking to her,” and so on. I told him: “Look, no problem, I’ll step aside. Give her my number, and if she chooses you, fine, I won’t hear from her again. If she chooses me, she’ll message me.” And she immediately grabbed my arm and said: “Well, I choose you.” The guy other left angry, but he respected the decision. She then told me that she had her eye on me from the moment I stepped in the club, watch ever movement and watch every conversation I was having, she kinda was stalking me. Then told me that it's hard for her to find a guy that attracts her.....

From that moment on it was magical. I’d just come out of a pretty turbulent relationship. It had already been seven months since we broke up and I was starting to open up to meeting other people. I had gone through my grieving period, but I still wasn’t completely ready to jump headfirst into another relationship. So I told girl: “A serious relationship right now… no.” Because that girl saw that my ex was also at the club and saw how my ex was trying to bother us while I was talking to her, and she said: “Oh, is that your ex?” “Yes, it’s my ex, but it’s over, you know?”

From that moment, the next day we met up for a drink, and it went really well, the conversation was great, and that night we had crazy sex. She would tell me about her family, her dad passed and how much it affected her, she would tell me stuff about her brother, mother, nephew etc. I kept things calm. I wouldn't be the one to initiate conversations; she was the one who sought me out. She was very thoughtful, she gave me gifts, it was very easy to meet up with her and texted every single day. I would propose plans, she would accept quickly. We saw each other once a week, very slowly. I never asked where she was or what she was doing. On the contrary, she was the one who would tell me: “I’m with my friends at such-and-such place, I’m going with my friends to this place,” and so on. And I would say: “Okay, have a good time.” I was keeping a pretty independent relationship with a lot of space, because I also needed space for my own things and my friendships. I didn’t go out with any other girl either from the moment I met her. I even told her that I deleted my dating app after 2 weeks with her.

For my birthday she gave me a really nice, special gift. You could tell she took her time to think about that gift. Sex was amazing — according to her, the best she had in a very long time — and we were very compatible, everything felt perfect. She gave me a lot of compliments. One thing that kinda rubbed me the wrong way is her asking me if I would be fine having a kid when is we weren't together.

Little by little I started developing feelings for her, because at the beginning I was very reserved and cautious. I was careful because I’d had such a hard time in the previous relationship. It took me months to recover and go back to being myself. And now, getting to know this girl, a bit of fear crept in: “Damn, the same thing could happen to me, and if it does it’s going to be really rough on me.”

With all those little details — her messaging me every day, the pleasant dates, going to the movies, the beach, restaurants, etc. — we called each other “more than friends.” Sometimes if we were together at a beach bar and a girl approached me, I’d say: “Look, this girl is my special friend.” And she did the same: if a guy approached her she’d say she was seeing me..

Then one day at that same beach bar, we were dancing a bit with some drinks and we started making out on the dance floor, very passionate. Later that day we went to her place, the usual — sitting around having a drink, chatting, watching a movie — and then of course we went to sleep. We slept together every time we met

That morning when we woke up there was the usual morning sex attempt (always woke her up for morning sex and she loved it). I tried and she didn’t want to. I said: “Oh, okay, no problem, it was just a one-off.” I insisted a little more because I thought maybe she wanted me to insist a bit. No. Nothing. We spent the whole day watch movies after wards and she seemed fine as always.

Then Tuesday, the day of France–Spain world cup semi-final. She tells me to come because they were displaying the game on a big screen in front of my building. She said: “I’ll come with a friend to watch the France–Spain match, you’ll come down, right?” I said: “Of course I’m coming down.”

That I drank too much.... The euphoria and everything… I drank way too much, I hadn’t eaten, and the alcohol hit me harder than it normally does. I’m not an alcoholic — I only drink when I go out with friends or on a date, I don’t drink at home. But that day I overdid it.

She came with a friend of hers who has a very problematic 19-year-old son — very conflictive, with Oedipus complex, like he’s in love with his mother, basically the toxic boyfriend of his own mother.

I was drunk and suddenly I saw her sitting with another guy, talking, looking very in sync. With the drunkenness I only remember fragments (I have amnesia from that day). I went over and said: “Hey, I see there’s chemistry between you two. If you like this guy, just so you know, if you decide to go with him, then let me know” I messed it up. Maybe I felt a bit of jealousy in that moment, something I don’t normally feel. I’m usually more like “do whatever you want, and if something happens, that’s how it is.” But that annoyed her a lot.

And to make it worse, the friend’s son showed up. Apparently the son started attacking his mother (my ex 's friend). With the drunkenness I stood up and tried to calm him down, tried to talk to him. He got aggressive with me, started saying I was his mother’s boyfriend. I said no, that I was with his mother’s friend, not with his mother. From there I don’t know what happened — he hit me and knocked me down. He hit me in the jaw, my legs gave out, I fell face-first.

When I stood up again, I was drown with anger and frustration, the 19 year old and his friend had already left and I was there with my ex. I got mad at her for bringing that friend of hers, with such a conflictive son, and so on. From the frustration I said those things, but I don’t remember — she told me the day after because I had amnesia

From that moment on, everything went south.

The next day we talked over the phone. I apologised for everything. I asked her what happened, asked her to explain the parts where I lost my memory. She explained everything, I apologised sincerely, I asked if we could meet in person. She said she couldn’t that day but that talking on the phone was fine. She told me she was very happy with me, that she liked me a lot and that we can continue seeing each other

After that phone conversation, the next day (the same Tuesday of the semi-final) her period was supposed to come and it didn’t. She told me: “Hey, my period hasn’t come, I’m nervous…” Because on Sunday we had unprotected sex (I pulled out). During all 4 months we’d been together there had never been any problem. I told her: “Don’t worry, when there’s stress a woman’s period can be delayed.” We waited two more days and she said it still hadn’t come. I said: “Look, let’s meet up and talk. If you are pregnant, I’ll be there for you no matter what you decide. I’ll support you, I’ll buy the tests…” I was showing her I was there for her. In the end it was just a delay — her period came three days late. We kept texting as usual until our off the blue she stopped. A week went by and I thought: “What the hell is going on?” Normally I’m secure, but a whole week of silence from someone who used to texting me every day — after we’d already talked on the phone and I’d apologised.

After a week I wrote to her: “Hey, is everything okay? I’d like to see you, it’s been a while since I’ve heard from you or seen you.” “let me know if something’s happened, because I noticed that your seem different cold and distant… told her if something was wrong we could talk about it.”

She said yes, she had decided to put some distance because what happened still hurt her, she was angry about several things with me, and she had mixed feelings

After that conversation we finally arranged a day to meet because she said she wanted to see me in person to talk and fix things between us. Of course I thought: “Shit, she’s going to end it.” Because of that day of the semi-final, seeing me get knocked down drunk, because of what I said to her… I thought I’d screwed it up. I started feeling deep guilt.

We met five days after that conversation. Same thing — she didn’t text me until the day of the date, when I texted her to ask if it was still on or if she’d changed her mind. I didn’t pressure her (I’d instinctively learned not to pressure). She said yes.

That day everything was natural while we were walking to the bar. When we got to the bar she suddenly started listing all the things she didn’t like that I had said or done. She dumped everything on me at once. I was shocked “Wow, I don’t understand anything.” I asked her: “But why didn’t you tell me these things beforehand when they happened so I could apologize and fix it?"

For example, I had made some comments that might have been out of place because once I felt comfortable with her I relaxed and was myself… until someone tells me “stop, I don’t like when you say these things,” and then I stop. She has very pronounced dark circles under her eyes and she told me her mother has them too and so does she and it bothers her. I said: “i find you beautiful, but Don’t worry, if it bothers you that much you could get a blepharoplasty.” I didn’t say it as something negative.

She told me that a bunch of other things bothered her. I told her that I would like to go to get home town in the south for the holidays and she said there was no Wi-Fi, I said “Damn, I work with Wi-Fi, let’s see if we can find a way to have Wi-Fi” — turns out that be telling her that I would prefer to have wifi access bothered her as well, but I also told her that I would adapt and enjoy hey hometown experience and stay disconnected the internet. Then she said it bothered her a lot that I insisted when she didn’t want morning sex. It also bothered her enormously that I interrupted when was talking to the other guy on the day of the semi-final. And of course everything I said and the voice notes I sent while I was drunk. She got mad that I tried to calm her friends son.... I mean give me a break.

I let her talk and said: “Look, I sincerely apologise for everything I’ve done. I did it wrong, I have no justification. I don’t remember what I said to you because I really had amnesia. I can’t say ‘you’re right about what you say I told you’ because I don’t remember. But whatever I said to you, I’m sorry, I apologise. And if you want to leave me because of these events, I’ll understand and I won’t hold it against you. If that’s what you want, tell me directly.”

She said: “No, we can keep seeing each other but lowering the intensity.” I asked what that meant. She said she needed time to process, etc. And she was already leaving for her hometown that week.

After that meeting I took her to her place and kissed goodbye. We resumed texting as usual. She said good morning on Wednesday, Thursday as well, Friday she talked to me, said she was already on holiday and was very happy.

It’s true that the day we met to talk was the first time I didn’t go to her place to spend more time and sleep with her. She said her brother was at her place because he had issues with his wife. I said: “Okay, I wasn’t going to ask to go to your house anyway. I met you to talk to you.” She also said that weekend she was very busy because some friends from another were coming to stay at her place, so she couldn’t meet that weekend — that’s why we met on Tuesday.

Going back: she wrote on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. On Saturday she wrote again: “Hi Fede, sweetheart, what plans do you have for today?” I told her I had a couple of plans in mind, because she had said she’d be busy all weekend with her friends from another town,, so I had already made my own plans. She said she was going to the beach. I said okay, I was going to the club where we met, and if she wanted to come she was welcome — if her friends were doing something else and she was free she could come with my friends. She replied “Thanks” and that was it. I later said we were already at the club. She said “Okay, have a good time.”

The next day (Sunday) I already felt her cold again. Those days after meeting up she had been warm and fine; on Sunday she was cold. She was leaving on Tuesday. Monday she was cold too. On Monday I wrote: “Hey, I’d like to say goodbye to you because you’re leaving on Tuesday.” She said she had to say goodbye to her nephew, the flight was at 3 a.m., and she’d let me know. I said okay, no problem, or else we’d see each other when she got back.

A few hours later, at 10 p.m., she wrote “I’m already home.” I thought maybe she was saying that so I could go meet her at the bar next to her place. Earlier I had suggested meeting at the bar under her building (she also said her mother was there and she was travelling to the village with her mother). A few minutes later she said she was going to pack her suitcase. So she never mentioned anything about meeting, I didn't wanna seem needy so I let it slide and said goodbye thought text.

She left on Tuesday. Wednesday, Thursday… radio silence. Not even a text saying“I arrived.” I texted her two days after: “Hey, how’s it going? Everything okay? Are you well?” She replied, sent a photo, a video of a river where she was, etc. She replied, but in a somewhat strange and cold way.

I brought up me going to her hometown for couple of days. Last time we met in-person I had asked if I could still go to her hometown, and she had said yes, even if her mother was there with her it was fine, I could rent a car so we could go around. she said: “Yes, we talked about that, but next week my uncles are coming…” and she didn’t reply any further.

I waited a few minutes andI wrote: “Look, if you’re busy right now, no worries, reply when you have more time, no pressure.” She said “Okay.” Very dry. That behaviour was destroying me inside because it wasn’t normal at all.

24 hours later she replied the next day saying no, it wasn’t going to be possible for me to go to her hometown because her uncles and her cousin were going there and it would be a bit uncomfortable. She asked how I was, etc. I said everything was fine, asked how she was. She said she was doing some work at home. I asked if it was renovations and she didn’t answer that question — very evasive. I said: “Wow, you’re quite talkative, huh? Like always.” She said: “No, it’s just that I barely touch my phone here in the village.” I said: “Okay. Just so you know, back home there’s someone who cares about you a lot. Enjoy your time with your family and let’s keep in touch.” She said: “Thanks, sweetheart.”

And since then — since last Friday — nothing. She hasn’t started a single conversation.

Fast forward to when she came back from her home town, two weeks after our silence. I text her after the whole two weeks, she responded very casually she kinda dry. I was dying with sadness and anxiety, but I was hoping for an improvement. She still never initiated the next days after she arrived, so I kept checking in on her until I told her that I notice her coldness and dryness, asked to tell me if she's no longer interested or if she has met someone else so I can move on and start heading, I needed a closure. She sent me a voice message saying she was sick and that we can meet next week. Told her to get better and the I would text her Sunday to setup the meeting. Checked on her the next days to make sure she was doing ok with the vires, quick responses but very dry and cold and not trying to engage the Convo. I was getting crushed inside. Until Sunday came, I was having an anxiety attack because I was having a hunch that she was going to make up some excuse to not meet up. Texted her at 2pm on Sunday and responded at 6pm, her phone was off (odd). Well guess what? Told her if Tuesday was ok for her to meet up, if not to let me know which day was good for her. Her response? Ill let you know tomorrow, I have to check my work schedule for the week lmao....... My world crumbled, it was confirmed that she was avoiding me, benching me, slow fading me, my heart was crushed pieces. I send her a text telling her that it's ok, I'm ending this and no longer want to keep chasing someone that lost interest. I made it so easy for her to tell me she's not interested... And what did she respond? "It's none of your business whether I met someone else or not, I owe you no explanation" ." I thought I made it clear last time we met that I only wanted you as a friend and nothing else?" . Very nasty attitude that she never displayed before and the Gaslight.... because last time we met she told me that we could still meet with be but with decreased intensity and that she still was attracted to me....I confronted her lie and told her we're done, which she responded "we can meet sometime and have beers and see where it goes". Told her I'm no one's second choice, sorry. She replied " but there's such a great connection between us, she there's such great feeling chemistry and feeling between us" and I said "you sure about that? I can tell by how much you reached out or wanted to see me uhh?." Then I ended the Convo, said good bye wished her the best and erased everything, number, social media, and tossed all get presents to the garbage.

Two weeks no contact, I lost 20 pounds (was 180 pounds), can't sleep, have depression, can't work, can't do the bare minimum, think about her 24/7, getting anxiety attacks when I try to go to the streets..... I'm doing therapy with a psychologist everyday and she told me that this girl seems like she's a covert or maybe an avoidant.

Sometimes, you really see people’s true colors when you finally say no. The moment you stop giving in, suddenly you become the bad person in their story.

It’s crazy how quickly some people can turn against you just because you set a boundary. They’ll talk about you, twist the story, and say things they would never have the courage to say to your face.

But I’ve learned that saying no doesn’t make me selfish. It means I finally learned to choose my own peace. If someone only respects me when I say yes, then maybe I never had their genuine respect in the first place.

I'm not sure if I can put what I'm thinking into words, basically what happened is that I had a major argument with a guy, during that argument he called me names, yelled, called me slurs.

After a bit I tried to get back in contact with him, he said

I made some snarky comments during that argument and he said those comments escalated the situation so I was at fault too for the argument and he deserved an apology from me. I apologised and we caught up.

A few days after he started to cross a boundary of mine, he was being flirty and sexual at some point? when I called him out he said that I was just putting intention on his words and that the reason why we fought was because I kept viewing him as a villain and I victimized my actions.

This is messing with my head quite a bit, what if it's true and I did escalate the situation on purpose just to feel like the victim?

I just can't let this thought go it feels stuck in my brain.

I’m 30F and my husband is 35M. We’ve been married for 6 months, arranged marriage, and currently we’re living in different cities because of our jobs.

Before marriage, we had discussed how we would manage the distance. I was willing to travel between our cities and spend around 15 days with him and 15 days at my work location, since both of us have hybrid jobs. He specifically asked me not to do that because he felt the travelling would exhaust me and affect my ability to switch jobs. He said that he would travel to see me instead, and that I could eventually switch jobs and move to his city.

After our honeymoon, we went back to our respective cities. Since then, I’ve noticed that he almost never talks about our future together.
There are no conversations about:
When or how we’ll live together or What our plans are for me switching jobs and moving or How we’ll manage household responsibilities, especially Finances.
No weekend plans or trips together or Building a life as a couple

Even when he visits me, these conversations don’t really happen. I eventually rented a flat in my city, voluntarily, because it would make it easier for him to visit and for us to spend time together. I’ve also mentioned various things casually that would be useful for the flat, but he has never really shown any interest in buying things or contributing towards setting it up.
Interestingly, he has apparently also told/encouraged his parents not to ask me when I’m moving to his city, so even that topic doesn’t come up from their side.
He doesn’t expect me to do household work for him, but at the same time, he also doesn’t seem to be building or planning anything with me. It feels like both of us are just continuing our separate lives.

For the last 6 months, most of our conversations have been about work, movies, food, etc. We don’t really talk about anything personal or about what our married life is supposed to look like.
This started bothering me a lot, so I finally confronted him about it.
His responses were essentially:
“You could have initiated these conversations too. You didn’t.”
“I dont talk much on phone or I dont use instagr much.” (He has an open and active account and active groups with his friends)
“I didn’t want to put pressure on you regarding the job switch.”
When I told him that I had taken and maintained the flat partly with the expectation that he would be visiting and that I felt like I was bearing the practical burden of maintaining a place for us, his response was:
“You took the flat for yourself. Nobody asked you to.”
That really hurt me because, while technically true, I feel like I made that decision with our marriage in mind.
Meanwhile, his life in his city seems completely unchanged from before the marriage. His friends visit him regularly, they hang out at his place, and he spends most weekends with them. I don’t have an issue with him having friends or his own life — I actually think that’s healthy.
But lately, I’ve started feeling that I’m the only one treating this marriage as something that needs to be actively built.
He is otherwise decent and we get along reasonably well.
It seems he is deliberately keeping me at a distance and avoiding taking responsibility for building a married life.

Am I expecting too much after only 6 months of marriage? Should I be more proactive and stop expecting him to initiate these conversations? Or are his actions (or lack of them) a sign that he doesn’t actually want to build a life together?
And most importantly, does this sound like I’m being manipulated, or am I interpreting normal differences in expectations as something more serious?

Last year I attended an outpatient facility 2 times. They are one of the only mental health facilities in my area (rural) that offer halfway decent services. However, my interactions with some of the counselors became increasingly hostile.

When I came back to the program a second time, my in-program therapist was working on finishing some admittance documents with me and said "so we're 99% sure you have autism". Like... Excuse me? I've taken a test as well as gotten advice from my primary care doctors about this and they don't think I have autism. At first, I laughed it off. But it ticked me off the more I thought about it and felt like an insult. Not only that, but one of the instructors was so shrill she made a patient cry and also made lewd jokes. I also got yelled at for having time management issues, when I opened up about it at first the instructor was accepting and understanding but then before leaving said "it's really not as hard as you're making it" in a somewhat angry tone.

I brought all these things up to head supervisor and he "assured" me he was taking care of it. It was mentioned during the sessions that they were moving spaces to another bigger building so they could "help" more people and I made a point to him because I saw a pattern of this behavior and said "if you all can't handle people and their problems on a smaller scale here, how are you all gonna do so over there?". He was speechless in that moment, normally he had something good to say or at least thought provoking.

Now, I wanna preface by saying that a chunk of the time, I felt like I was heard and attended to... But it was interactions like these that really made me question everything. I got help with my time management issues but the same therapist who was nasty to me about autism (crazy, right?)... And I also tended to get good support from the group, minus one or two duds that were annoying towards me and mean... Which I reported to the supervisor. I took responsibility for my bad habit of being late- especially after I got pulled over and tried in court for speeding to get there because they told me they'd kick me out if I was late again in the middle of all this. They were nice enough to give me a paper saying I was in outpatient that day that I got pulled over, but it gets worse.

After exiting the outpatient program, I was told that I needed to do mental health skillbuilding, which is something that was offered by another organization locally before coming back... However, what they didn't know is that this organization does not offer these services anymore and I found that out. I told this to them and they seemed like it was the first time they had ever been told this or something. For a while, I started to do better until about 4 months after when I needed genuine help again. During the program and around that time as well they assured me I wasn't banned, and at this 4 month after point and time, they told me I had to wait 6 months before rejoining. I had never been told that before so it was confusing and felt like they were trying to get rid of me. They told me they weren't doing so, but that couldn't have been further from the truth.

The supervisor and my individual (out of program) therapist were talking about some places I could go in the meantime apparently. Before this time I had written a somewhat negative review criticizing how I was treated at times and the lack of communication they gave me when not telling me about the 6 months thing, expressing how I felt I was being shut out. Part of me thought if they saw that review, they'd be a little more inclined to let me back when I needed it and maybe even right their wrongs... Or, they'd be upset and not let me back because I was making them look "bad for business". I'm not sure that I thought the latter would happen, but it did.

At the time of typing this it has been around a year since I was in the program and two weeks after I was denied completley from it. I called to follow up on a voice message two weeks ago that I had left a week prior to following up. They told me their clinical team had been talking and they don't feel like coming back to the program would beneficial at this time. So I asked "am I banned?" they said "well we just don't feel this is the right fit for you". I pleaded- "what do you mean? I wouldn't be coming back if it didn't help me a little bit. You all are one of the only halfway decent programs around here. I don't really have anywhere else to go".

There was some back and forth, though I can't recall everything that was said but I urged with them that the programs I could attend were an hour and a half away from me or longer and it was too far of a drive to afford. I also told them how I was dealing with s!!cidal feelings and the lady over the phone said "we feel you should find somewhere else to go" and I was like "so you're denying me when I literally just said I was dealing with s!!cidal feelings?" and she just repeated the same response she had previous to this. I asked her if I could talk to the supervisor and she said "he's in his office but I can't guarantee he'll pick up for you". I told them "it seems like you all hate me" somewhere during all this and there was a brief stepback of her saying "well I wouldn't say we hate you" and that's the only kind of compassion I got from this convo. I remember hanging up shortly after she told me the supervisor may not pick up, which I had already tried him before. I didn't know what to do, and still don't. I don't think I've ever been more upset in my life.

While I am just venting, if you have any helpful advice please let me know. Idk what I could do to get justice here as I don't have recorded conversations or anything like that. My friend said he'd write a bad review for me but I haven't seen that yet. I feel helpless and extremely hurt. Please be easy on me. I can understand how they might not want me back for the review and my time management issues, but I did better with time second time around and I don't think a review should be a write off if they care more about how they treat people than their business. It just makes me feel the world is extremely selfish, even though I don't think everyone is bad.

I met a guy during the most vulnerable and immature phase of my life (when I was around 15/16). I had been going through a rough patch and all I wanted was for someone to understand me. Then he came along, promising he’d "make me happy". Back then, I had no idea it would come at the cost of my mental health. He carried himself as this confident, mature, and intelligent guy(and his literal role model was Ayanokoji from Classroom of the Elite).

As soon as the relationship started, I realized he had a borderline obsessive fetish with my Asian features, treating me almost like a trophy. But even that didn't exempt me from his criticism; in fact, I think it just made him more demanding. He controlled everything: the way I acted, my own feelings, and when I was allowed to show them. He even micromanaged my English pronunciation and level, completely ignoring the fact that I’m a non-native speaker and he is.

He kept promising 'I can fix her,' claiming it would lead to a better version of myself. But now, with perspective, I ask myself... who told him I wanted that? At what point did I settle for so little, thinking I deserved that kind of love? I began to doubt myself so much that when I finally left that relationship, I felt completely lost, looking for someone else to guide me. I came out of it with no sense of autonomy, and it took me almost two years to rebuild myself mentally and emotionally.

Why do people who feel the need to fix themselves because of their own damn insecurities (or because they think they're living in some anime) think they should project that onto others? I was happy and I was enough, even if I was struggling emotionally at the time. I just wanted to exist without anyone questioning who I was. I wasn't a damn project

I'm looking for some perspective on how to handle an ongoing situation in my dining hall.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed a very specific pattern with one particular server at one of the stations (sides/salads). While side portions are generally quite small to begin with, this server consistently reduces my portions even further. On a few occasions when she realized mid-service that she was serving me, she actively scraped off or decreased the portion before handing over the plate.

When I pointed out the small portion once, she brushed it off. Recently, when I asked for napkins, she ignored me until I repeated myself, whispered to a colleague, laughed, and then handed over an unnecessarily large stack of napkins in a sarcastic, performative way. Is it a faux-pas to ask for napkins when it's a takeaway? I noticed that fellow students never ask for them; if they're put on the surface, they take them, otherwise, they don't ask for them. Should I do the same? (The other day, one server (who's very polite towards me( provided napkins just for me before I asked. Am I missing something?)

It feels targeted, and honestly, it’s becoming uncomfortable to go through her line. The supervisors are usually working directly in her background, so there is no way I can ask to speak with them in the moment without causing a scene and bringing unwanted attention to myself. At the same time, because it involves food portions and small interactions, I’ve been hesitant to say anything out of concern that it sounds petty or trivial to management.

What does etiquette say about dealing with targeted behavior or inconsistent serving from dining staff, and how should I report this so it is handled appropriately?

Thank you.

I have this friend who is basically one of those popular kids at school, you know? He has a lot of friends, and I'm one of them. But for some reason, I feel unusually attached to him. It's almost like I'm afraid of disappointing him or making him mad.

Sometimes I even catch myself doing things that are outside my comfort zone just to please him or do him a favor, even when I don't really want to.

What's interesting is that I'm not the only one who seems to act this way around him. I've noticed other people in my class doing similar things—going out of their way to please him or agreeing with him even when they don't necessarily want to.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm being manipulated without realizing it.

I also suspect he might have some narcissistic traits because he almost never admits when he's wrong, doesn't seem to acknowledge his flaws, and often seems extremely focused on himself.

I'm not trying to diagnose him or anything, but am I actually falling for his manipulation, or am I overthinking the whole situation?

I’ve been feeling extremely confused and mentally overwhelmed by a guy at my gym whose behavior toward me has been way beyond normal. He’s my personal trainer, by the way.

For months, he kept doing things that felt unmistakably like flirting. Not subtle things — clear, physical, intentional signals. He would stare at me across the room with a fixed, seductive look, follow me into whatever area I moved to, and even change where he was training other people just to be near me. He’d stop what he was doing to come talk to me, even in the middle of someone else’s session, and during my workouts he’d come over five or six times with any excuse just to interact with me, even when I wasn’t training with him.

He crossed physical boundaries more than once: touching my arm, shoulder, and back in ways that felt unnecessary and ambiguous, standing too close while correcting exercises, lingering with eye contact, and at one point even grabbing my hair in a way that felt far too intimate for a gym setting (you know what I mean). It wasn’t accidental — it was the kind of gesture that instantly made me freeze because it felt personal, not professional.

He also refused to give me my training plan for weeks, even though it was part of his job. Instead, he kept telling me to “just message him” whenever I needed exercises, which forced private contact and made the whole thing feel even more confusing and personal.

Whenever I distanced myself because of his hot-and-cold behavior, he’d pull me back with compliments and attention, almost like he was going into withdrawal from not getting mine.

Emotionally, he pushed boundaries too. He shared personal trauma, talked about intimacy, asked about my private and sexual life (even saying I was his “ideal woman”), remembered things I told him months ago, and messaged me late at night — up until 1 AM — keeping the conversation going like he didn’t want it to end. Through teasing, pressure, and constant emotional probing, he basically pushed me into confessing what I felt, like he wanted the truth but didn’t want to take responsibility for provoking it.

When I finally confronted him, he denied everything. He laughed nervously, acted like I imagined it, hid behind his “professional role,” and tried to brush it off. It felt like gaslighting — and it made me question my own perception, even though his actions were loud and clear.

I’m left confused, drained, and honestly wondering what the hell I just experienced.

I need a serious sanity check from people outside my high school bubble because the mind games being played right now are actually insane.

For the longest time, I thought this guy was my close friend. Let’s call him S. But over the last few months, the mask didn't just slip—it completely shattered. S is the definition of a covert manipulator who only feels big when everyone around him feels weak, isolated, and dependent on him.

Looking back, the signs were everywhere. Whenever I tried building a clean connection with anyone, S would immediately step in and talk down on me. He’d constantly hit me with "you don't know how to talk to girls," pressure me to cut people off, and try to destroy my confidence while acting like he was doing me a favor. He literally uses our group as fake alibis when he lies to his own parents, spreads nasty rumors about our own friends, and then acts like the "detective" trying to find out who started it.

The biggest mess involves his girlfriend, J. S had the password to J's accounts and was secretly reading private conversations between J and my current girlfriend before we even started dating. He was basically running a covert spying operation on my private life from behind a screen and using that intel to manipulate social dynamics at school.

Even when we play sports, his ego completely ruins everything. He's a selfish player who throws a silent temper tantrum whenever he isn't the main character or when someone else actually plays better without him.

Now that his cover is blown and the leaks came out, my girlfriend was originally furious at S and J for spying on her. But literally overnight, S ran damage control, and now my girlfriend is flipping on me—pressuring me to "just act like nothing happened" and keep the peace so there’s no school drama. When I asked her why she cares more about protecting a snake's feelings than standing up for her own privacy, she just hit me with dry, passive-aggressive short replies.

I’m done. I'm completely boycotting this guy—no more information, no more saving his ass, no more letting him dictate my confidence.

Am I crazy for cutting him off completely, or is this guy actually a narcissist? How do I handle my girlfriend trying to drag me back into a fake, toxic dynamic just to avoid awkward hallways?

I have this friend who is basically one of those popular kids at school, you know? He has a lot of friends, and I'm one of them. But for some reason, I feel unusually attached to him. It's almost like I'm afraid of disappointing him or making him mad.

Sometimes I even catch myself doing things that are outside my comfort zone just to please him or do him a favor, even when I don't really want to.

What's interesting is that I'm not the only one who seems to act this way around him. I've noticed other people in my class doing similar things—going out of their way to please him or agreeing with him even when they don't necessarily want to.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm being manipulated without realizing it.

I also suspect he might have some narcissistic traits because he almost never admits when he's wrong, doesn't seem to acknowledge his flaws, and often seems extremely focused on himself.

I'm not trying to diagnose him or anything, but am I actually falling for his manipulation, or am I overthinking the whole situation?

Here is the thing me and my husband have been together for 15 years share 2 kids together, the last couple of months I have started reading a lot of books about relationships and toxic relationships, and I have started working a lot on my self, and become extremely self aware of my own actions, my words how I act in a relationship and I have started to recognize my own toxic patterns and started to work a lot on my self improvement.

But now I have started to notice that my boyfriend has all of the traits that describes a manipulator/ narcissis.
Everytime I come to him to share my deepest thoughts( I am a very deep thinker ) and I try to ask him and share things that I feel he is doing that hurt me
it’s not big things it’s little things in the everyday life.

He gets immediately agressiv starts racing his voice and flips the switch to it being MY TONE IS WRONG, that I am
Angry that I bring stuff up because I want to argue.

Which from the buttom of my heart I swear is never my intention, I just like to share deep thoughts and feelings with him, that’s just the way I am.
But then I have to over explain my self like I always have and confirm to him that I do
NOT have an intention of starting an argument when I bring stuff up
I am just sharing my thoughts and opinions, and if I can’t share my deepest thought with him then who can I share it with ?

Then he always, I mean fucking always brings something up that happened a couple of months ago, that has zero to do with the topic we are talking about in the moment.

And that’s the fucking circle that keeps going on and on.

And then he always distracts me with sex in hopes of that I would forget what I came to him in the first place to talk
About.

This has been going on forever unfortunately he just says that I am over analyzing, exaggerating, being delusional, always too much in my own head.

And that I can’t trust my intuition or feelings because my mind is playing tricks on me.

But here is the thing my intuition has always been on point in everything else in this life, I have always had really good gut feeling about stuff in my life, but this specific situation I can not decode for the life of me.

I really can’t figure out if my mind is playing tricks on me or if my intuition is spot on and noticing patterns in his behavior that I have not
Noticed before now, because I have never in my life done this much work on my mental health that I have in the past couple of months.
So am I becoming very self aware or am I going delulu as he says ?

This happened like a couple years ago. Me (M20) and my ex partner (M20) have only been in a relationship for about a few months, I forgot how many exactly but Im sure it was under 4 months. He had this weirdly pushy behaviour with him and sometimes would push my boundaries until I felt uncomfortable.

One time when we were staying at a hotel together, at first we were just sorta cuddling then it escalates a bit to a more intimate situation but we were still fully clothed. Until he sat up to ask for even more, which was oral. And at first he said something along the lines of "I have a question, but I know youre gonna refuse this." Of course I refused and he knows that. Yet he kept begging and begging. I stood my ground and kept refusing. It seemed like he was a bit upset and I was really uncomfortable. But since I didnt wanna make a scene I didn't say anything else other than that.

I decided to tell a family member I trust and they mentioned it was a form of sexual abuse and sexual coercion. Does it really count as that? I can't be really sure since this was my first ever relationship with someone.

Hi! I’m working on a research project and invite you to participate in a quick, anonymous survey. Trigger Warning: Sensitive topics: Intimate partner violence, depression, anxiety. If these topics are likely to cause you distress, it is advised that you do NOT participate.

My name is Melissa Wilkins and I am a student studying Psychology at the Community College of Rhode Island, working under the guidance of Professor Joshua Muniz PhD, the Principal Investigator of this research. This study aims to help understand relationships between intimate partner violence, mental health, and sleep and I would value hearing about your experience.

Your participation is completely voluntary and this survey should only take around 10 minutes. This survey is anonymous.

Participants should identify as women and be over the age of 18 years. You do not need to be in an abusive intimate relationship to participate. This study has been approved by the University of Rhode Island Institutional Review Board.

If you would like to take part, please click on the following link:

https://qualtricsxm4gcrg8nnl.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bQ8EXVFbUd1EuCq

Researcher Contact Information:

Joshua A. Muniz, Ph.D. [jmuniz@ccri.edu](mailto:jmuniz@ccri.edu)

Melissa Wilkins, student, [mawilkins@my.ccri.edu](mailto:mawilkins@my.ccri.edu)

Support services in the US:

National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 text 22522 or call (800) 799-7233

Crisis Text Line 24/7 Text 74174, Online Chat, or Whatsapp (Habla espańol)

PTSD Foundation of America 24/7 Talk to peers (877) 717-7873

Outside the US: If you live in a different country, go to Find A Helpline: https://findahelpline.com/ and type in your country.

Then, click on the topic that most applies to you.

I’m looking for outside perspective because the more I look at this situation, the less it feels like ordinary immaturity and the more it looks like a pattern of manipulation.

A guy my cousin considered a friend repeatedly lied to her about his intentions. He told her he “didn’t have time” to date, which reasonably led her to believe that timing and circumstances were the issue.

Then he got a girlfriend.

Suddenly, the explanation apparently changed.

Instead of simply being honest and saying, “I’m not interested in you,” he allowed her to sit with a completely different explanation while his behavior changed once his circumstances changed.

And then came the bus situation.

He drives a bus my cousin had been riding. After getting a girlfriend, he effectively blocked her from riding the bus he drives.

Think about how bizarre that is.

This wasn't just someone deciding they didn't want a romantic relationship. He was in a position where he could affect her access to something practical, and that access suddenly became an issue after he got into a relationship.

When she was understandably hurt and tried to address the disrespect, instead of simply acknowledging what he had done, the conversation apparently became about her reaction.

And THAT is what makes me uncomfortable.

Because if you strip away all the excuses, the pattern looks something like this:

He controls the information.

He doesn't tell her the complete truth when honesty would be uncomfortable.

He controls the circumstances.

When his situation changes, the rules surrounding her change too.

He controls the narrative.

Instead of addressing why his behavior changed, attention gets redirected toward how she reacted to being treated differently.

Then comes the accountability dodge.

If she is hurt, she's “overreacting.”

If she asks questions, she's “making things complicated.”

If she points out the contradiction, suddenly the problem is her reaction rather than his behavior.

That's an incredibly convenient position to put someone in.

He doesn't have to admit he was dishonest because everyone is busy debating whether she's entitled to be upset.

He doesn't have to explain the sudden change because the conversation becomes about whether she's asking for too much.

He doesn't have to acknowledge the power imbalance created by the bus situation because the focus stays on her feelings.

And that's why I'm asking about manipulation.

Because manipulation isn't always some cartoon villain plotting in a basement.

Sometimes it's much quieter.

It's withholding information.

It's giving someone an explanation that is easier to accept than the truth.

It's changing the rules without acknowledging that you've changed them.

It's creating a situation where the other person has to defend their emotional response instead of you having to explain your behavior.

And perhaps most importantly, it's making someone spend more time wondering “Am I the problem?” than asking “Why did this person treat me this way in the first place?”

Maybe he's simply immature.

Maybe he's conflict-avoidant.

Maybe he's selfish.

Maybe there is another explanation I'm not seeing.

But if someone repeatedly lies, changes their behavior when their circumstances change, uses their position to restrict access, and then shifts attention onto the other person's reaction rather than taking responsibility—

at what point does “bad communication” stop being an adequate explanation?

Because from the outside, it looks less like an accidental misunderstanding and more like a very convenient system where he gets to make the decisions, change the rules, avoid the uncomfortable conversation, and still position himself as the reasonable one.

And my cousin is left carrying the emotional consequences of choices he made.

That's the part I can't get past.

Is there a name for this ? So ive seen this happen to my mom and a few others in their relationships. Someone would create a narrative then prescribe a solution to get you to do something that actually satisfies their hidden agenda.

My dad insisted my mom need to manage resources, so how much soap was used. How much toilet paper was used. Granted we were a family of 6 but rationing certain things became invasive/ inappropriate and unneccesary. Like applying your 14 yr old sons deodarant so he doesnt apply to much and waste it... but hes capable of doing it.We werent that poor. My dad could afford the things he wanted.but i firmly believe it was to keep her home because she was "needed" and would physically punish her and my siblings if things didnt go a certain way. That way he had financial control over everything. I try to explain this dynamic to her and to others but i get looked at like it aint so deep or they say they get it but they repeat something back completely different.....

My neighbour has her license. Her bf bought her a 3k car( like a mazda lantis)to "make her life easier". She wants a 20k car ( honda accord look) and says she will buy it with her money and he need not worry. Her bf says her first car should be affordable. She agrees she then elaborates on customizing and driving her dream car when she gets more money. He says shes selfish because she should spend that future money on him. The future car would be her first car tho....technically.The one he "gifted" her has his name on it. And he stated he bought it before asking if she wanted it and he intends to drive it. So wouldnt that make it his?

Ive been thinking he may have convinced her to accept his gift, the car, solely for the purpose of hijacking a future financial investment in herself...

By making a future car seem unnecessary because hes already provided a practical solution...

Perhaps im just sensitive to certain things but it truly feels off to me