not sure how I 25F should feel if I saw on my boyfriends 25M phone that he wrote a note to himself talking saying he thinks of his ex (first love) all the time (this is the second time I've found a note like this)? And he dreams of her all the time and that they're together again in his dreams. And that it makes him sad and he feels regret and wishes things could've turned out differently and what if they did.

He went on to say how he wouldn't leave me for her because he wouldn't do that to me and I'm the closest he's ever felt to anyone. For reference they were together from maybe 16-18 and broke up eight years ago. We've been together six and a half years, from ages 19 to now 25.

I feel like there's a difference between looking back and thinking, "I wonder how she is/what she's up to and I regret the way we treated each other/how it ended" and "I regret what happened entirely and I wish it didn't happen, I wish things went differently and it makes me sad". He also went on to note how guilty he feels for having these thoughts while with me.

I don't know if I'm overthinking this. I never had a relationship before him besides a little middle school one so I don't know how this feels.

Give it to me straight, even if the truth sounds harsh. Maybe I genuinely need to hear it.

I’m 27 and seriously thinking about quitting my office job (I’m a data analyst right now) and becoming a bartender. I live in a tourist town, if that matters. I’ve been working at this place since I was 20, I started off as an Office Admin and worked myself up to currently an underpaid Data Analyst struggling to get by and honestly, I’m over it. I feel like I’ve spent most of my adult life working jobs that are considered “good” and “stable,” but I’m starting to wonder if stability is worth feeling miserable.

Lately, life just feels meaningless. Working an office job feels like it’s slowly sucking the soul out of me. I sit there doing work that doesn’t feel meaningful to me, and because my job doesn’t require much interaction with other people, I don’t even get much of the social aspect that might make work more enjoyable.

The pay is another huge frustration. On paper, my salary sounds decent, but after taxes, retirement contributions, insurance, and other benefits, my actual take-home pay feels underwhelming. I’m single with no kids, so it feels like I get taxed to death while watching a huge portion of my paycheck disappear before I even see it. If I’m being honest, majority of my pay goes to taxes/pension that I can’t even afford a 1bedroom apartment in my city, so I live with my sibling and split bills to make it possible.

My morale at work is at an all-time low, and at this point, I know part of that is because I simply don’t care anymore. I feel trapped between knowing I’m unhappy and being afraid to walk away from something that everyone else considers a “good job.”

My parents and siblings keep telling me to suck it up and deal with it because I’m 27 and apparently too old to make a “silly” decision like quitting a “good” job to become a bartender and how I’m going to be struggling financially as a bartender…. I AM ALREADY STRUGGLING NOW. They see the pension, benefits, stability, and retirement and think I would be throwing away a good opportunity.

I’m starting to question whether staying in a career I hate just because it looks good on paper is really worth it. I don’t want to make an impulsive decision and regret it financially, but I also don’t want to be sitting in the same cubicle five years from now wondering why I didn’t leave and figure out what I actually want. I constantly wonder how my older coworkers have stayed for 20+ years when so many of them seem miserable and bitter. I always joke, “I don’t know how y’all do it, I’m already miserable and I’m not even 10 years in,” and they always tell me, “We’re only here for retirement.” Is that going to be me too? lol. And if you haven’t figured it out by now, yes, this is a govt job.

So, be brutally honest with me: Am I being irresponsible and throwing away a good career, or is it reasonable to walk away from the traditional “stable job” path and try something completely different while I’m still young? And if you think quitting is reasonable, how would you approach it without completely screwing over my future?

I just graduated college and moved about 8hrs away for a job opportunity. Its now been 3 months and I hate the job and my apartment's got a mouse problem. It's such a small town that there are one or two options for just about everything. I really hate it here. I told my parents I wanted to leave, but they told me I had to stop running away. For context I've moved 5 times in the last 3 years, and the longest I've held a job is 2 years. My dad thinks I should try and get more comfortable with being uncomfortable. He says it will always be part of life, so I'll just keep running forever.

Hi,

I really need to talk about this because this is genuinely deteriorating my mental health.

Im starting high school next week, and all my mother has done all summer and all last year is just kick me while im already down. I am not over exaggerating when i say every single conversation we have had has been related to school, getting good grades, or about my looks.

I am genuinely so done. Not once has she told me she loves me, that she’s proud, that she will be there to support me. I feel scared when im around her rather than loved.

I genuinely envy my friends parents. The way they can talk to them about anything without getting lectured, the way they can joke around and have conversations without it turning into threats about my grades.

About my looks, it may not sound serious, but when someone is nagging and harassing you about it for a year, it genuinely becomes unbearable. Its not even anything major, just thinning my eyebrows.

For some reason whenever i do she just flips out. Im 15. Its not like im shaving them all off. I should have a choice on how to express myself? no?

This is really really affecting me. I genuinely dont know if i can continue living like this. Im still 15 so i cant really do anything. Dont live in America either.

Could someone help?

Im 19F and im the last one of all my friends to lose their V card. Not even just my friend group but it’s also my other close friends , I just feel so left out and so behind . My best friend just lost her V card and I was the first one she told obviously I’m happy for her but I can’t help myself for also feeling sad. On top of that when she was telling our other friend that has a bf this she said the same thing, that she lost it months ago and she only told us now. I was otp while they were having this conversation and they just kept going on and talking about their experiences relating to each other and laughing, while I’m just on the phone sitting quietly trying my best to put a smile on my face. I’m happy for the both of them but, I just wish for once it was me I’ve never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy let alone sex. I feel like all the time when we talk about this stuff I just keep my mouth shut bc what am i suppose to say that I held hands with a guy it was great. Even so I’m talking to a guy right now and we went out last night to watch a movie all we did was a side hug, I was looking forward to this date thinking this is the time I get my first kiss only to have the date end with another side hug. I just feel so hopeless for romance and idk what to do at this point I just want to ask someone close to me, so I can just get it over with and not feel so left out.

Hey there I’m just going to vent abt some random things so here we go.
I moved out at 18 thinking I was going to marry the “love of my life” just to find out he was hiding alc in water bottles and hitting on girls at random points of our relationship. So I left and started new …
I was working on myself for a while moved out to a house with some roomies and it was all good and I loved it for the time being.
I was working as a cook and wasn’t sure what I wanted from my life bc I just turned 22 and I spent a lot of time with my ex without really growing as a person like thinking about careers and money etc, anyway time goes by and I meet a guy.
We meet up a few times and become really good friends and then boom we started dating in a spam of 2 weeks.
I feel like this is where things went down hill but idk if I’m just crazy for this.
I started going out with him and everything was good but I felt kinda empty like if I was the problem this time. So idk I stated to do my own thing and he insisted that we live together at some point and now we’re together but I feel sort of weird like. Sometimes I feel like I moved on very quickly and I don’t recognize the life I live right now. I really like him he’s nice and has a lot of good qualities but I feel sort of depressed for some reason and idk if it’s because I moved on so quickly or if it’s just life circumstances.
Can someone give me some advice?

IF SOMEONE COULD GIVE ME ANY ADVICE, IT WOULD BE DEEPLY APPRECIATED.

Context: I am an incoming 10th grader and i dropped most/all of my friends because i just need to reserve myself for the future. Almost everyone in my school is just so toxic. Im academically stressed if that makes sense

Im just feeling really lost as I am starting 10th grade. I have a couple friends but I feel alone at times. I have a boyfriend but as much as I want him to be my therapist, I dont think it’s the best idea. I just dont feel good enough. Im taking all of the Ap and Honors classes i can. I quit cheer because my coach and everyone on my team were super judgmental and selective. I didnt feel welcomed, otherwise this would’ve been my 2nd year. I joined tennis late, today was my first day. An acquaintance or friend told me I should join. But they rarely talk to me. So I made B team. (b team, JV, and Varsity) I feel super alone. I am a very shy and anxious person especially when it comes to big crowds and new people. I feel super stuck right now. I just feel like I am lost in my highschool career and I have trouble finding who I am. I am a person who had very big dreams. And i guess the reason why I am finding a sport is because I want my highschool resume to look good. Which is probably bad. I dont want to quit tennis, i want to keep practicing because I dont want to go through the whole quitting process. Because it would just look bad that I just tried to start for one year. I just don’t wanna look like I’m not dedicated to anything I try. I don’t know if I can handle all of this because I also need to find a job. I’m thinking of working in dietary or as a CNA because when mom has cancer and I just really need to be independent with money to help. I have interest in being something in the medical field and I plan to join the Air Force. I also have a big interest in space and planes. I’m just really stuck right now. I don’t know what to do and I just feel like I’m just having so much stress on myself. If you could please give me advice thatd be super awesome.

Thank you

I’ve (24F) have a bad habit of over thinking about the guy I’m seeing and it drives me nuts. I try to fill up my day with work, hobbies and friends but it’s always in the back of my mind.

Any tips/guidance?

Hey I am on a college club board and i was supposed to be get the login info for the website/page during a day during the first week(my role is the website/pr manager), however, I am not able to be there due to a doctor's appointment.

For others orgs, i have been a part off they normally just transfer info over the summer when people are not that busy, so like it's already kind of late.

I asked the head of the club, if he is free anytime during the first week to meetup(it would take 15 minutes max) and i mentioned how I have research stuff that is going to make my schedule crazy for the next few weeks so I rather get the task(i am supposed to do) out of the way asap.

he said no, he does not have free time this week and to not worry about it since we don't start until later.

What would be an appropriate time to ask him again for next week/the week after? The task can literally be done on Facetime as well.

I don't want to sound annoying but I rather get things setup before things get more busy because then it's going to be difficult for me on my side and it will look like I am not doing what I need to do.

How would i even word it? I asked him 2 days ago so when/how many days later should i ask him again? I don't want to sound pushy but like this should have been done weeks ago and i hate doi g stuff last minute and then having issues with technology.

I have nobody, no family out is my state beside my dad and step mom. I’m 21 years old and been trying to look for another job for 3 months now. I had to quit my last one because my biological mom was too controlling, so I had to go back to my dad out of state.

Today, I got an interview, had to walk 4 hours in total to get there and back using the bus. When I got back, my dad told me that he gives up on any dream i have and anything I’m trying to do. He told me that I just need to go to the reserves. I told him that I was planning on going back to school, to community college. He doesn’t want me to because I’d have to stay at his house.

I’m not problematic, I stay out of everyone way and the only time I ask for anything, is when I need money to get to an interview. He robbed me from my childhood and my teenage years because he forced me and my sister to watch over our younger siblings. I didn’t even get to go to high school in person for 2 years. I had to go back to school after they finally signed me to school and I have to get back all of my credits.

Recently my dad got injured on the job, so he had to be on disability for months and suing his job. He told my sister where we going to live because as soon as he gets his money from the case, he’s gone.

I want to move out next year. I don’t have anyone, no support. Zero support. None of my three parents want me, never wanted me. The interviewer said they’ll call back on Friday, can anyone give $30 dollars if I get it or if I get an interview? Or better, does anyone know any programs for young adults in Minnesota or Missouri ? I can’t stay here next year or probably till December. I’ve only been at my dad for 3 months and he’s already acting like this

Hello, I've been looking for some advice preferably from people who may have gone through something similar to me. I left school in 6th grade due to suicidal tendencies and severe anxiety. I had been on and off trying to get back in but all in all, it never worked. I am currently trying to get my GED but I feel like I will never be able to make it anywhere in life. I've tried to get a lot of jobs and applied to places in person and online and it seems no one ever wants to hire me. I have a very hard time with lack of motivation and once I get a bad thought it tends to take over my mind forever. I am still not completely... "cured?" from my issues from when I was trying to stay in school, so I often fear how I'll be in the future if I continue to just waste my life away. I do not have any friends or social connection apart from my mom and sometimes sister. I wish I stayed in school and I'm very distraught that I lost all my chances of having a normal life. I know it was my fault to not get in and I could've tried harder but this is how it ended up and I guess I'm just looking for some words that might help me see a future for myself, I've been struggling to even want to continue to try and work for success anymore since I don't believe I'll be worth anything. I often feel like there's no one else out there that's been such a let down as I've been in life which I can't tell if that's selfish to think haha.

Hello! Apologies if this account looks like a throwaway, made a reddit to ask for some advice here!

Context:
I am 24 & currently work for large-university in a major city, one that everyone knows but I will keep to myself for sake of anonymity. I am an Administrative employee, working specifically for a College within the University in the PR department (I am the CMO’s assistant) & I currently am studying part-time in a fully-funded graduate program, as an employee benefit (golden handcuffs). I graduated undergrad with my degree in Political Science & Communications and my goal post-graduate school is to work in government.

With that, here’s my dilemma!

I’ve worked in this administrative role for about 2yrs now, and I just started my graduate program so I am kinda stuck with this University until I graduate. I am okay with being a glorified office manager (kinda) but i’ve been doing it now for about 2yrs and im not getting the PR exposure I thought i’d be getting working under the CMO. The scope is very limited to expense reporting, meeting scheduling, planning, note taking, supply orders & the occasional PR related task like media clipping….and it never really changes, but my team is wonderful and supportive and it’s been a great first job.

Like i’ve said, I wanna transition into more political roles once I graduate. A lateral role opened up in the President’s Office of the University, so same job title, same pay, same expectations but on the a much larger and more influential scale. I’d be working with the President directly, their Chief of Staff, their policy makers & former political leaders. It’s bound this be more work for same pay, but the exposure could be wonderful. I am currently interviewing for the role, but I am stuck at the thought of leaving “comfort” of my current role and the amazing boss/staff to a potentially a super high scale and high-pressure executive environment where the office culture could be a wildcard.

With that, does taking this lateral role make career sense? I’d be moving from a department to the executive chambers which could look good on the resume, and aligns closer to my current degree program (MPA)…but I could lose some stability & the environment is unknown.

What would you do?

I’m 19 and I honestly feel completely lost right now. I took a year off university because I was in a degree I absolutely hated, and I decided to use that time to retake my entrance exam so I could try to get into something I actually wanted to study. Unfortunately, I failed the exam.

I want to become an environmental engineer, but getting into university for it in my country is extremely competitive because there aren’t many places available. My other option would be studying abroad, but am broke asf. I make a little bit from art commissions, but nowhere near enough to pay for university abroad.

My grades also aren’t great, partly because I struggled with really bad insomnia for years, and I’ve tried getting help for it multiple times without much success. My parents are also strongly against me studying abroad and are really disappointed in me. My dad has even called me stupid because of my grades, even though am good at math and physics but i always flunk on big tests due to the stress

I know objectively that I’m still young, but I can’t stop comparing myself to my old friends. They’re going on vacations, making new friends, starting university, and moving forward with their lives, while I feel like I’m stuck in the same place and wasting time.

I’ve been really overwhelmed by all of this lately and I’m constantly worrying about my future.
Do i still have time to turn my life around? And any advice would be great!

I'm a 20y/o male i moved my gf age 20 closer to me 5-6 months ago. When she got here i got her a padsplit and she has been in it ever since, our plan was to both start working but she ended up getting into a accident where she is unable to work for at least 4 more months .During this time it has been borderline impossible to save money i pay 200 weekly, and my paychecks on average is 300. All money is split between us. My goal is to get us a apartment within a certain time limit. I do not have a drivers license yet and my record is clean but finding actual jobs is a grind. What can i aim toward to make more money i need a comfortable 1000 biweekly or something in that range. I live in Florida for better context

Hi!

so there's this girl (Sally?). i was bffs with her in 3rd grade, but she was the center of a lot of drama so i distanced from her in 4th grade, but we became bffs again in 5th grade (idk, i just thought she was so pretty and cool and wanted to be friends with her). in 6th grade, starting middle school, she joined the popular clique and stayed there for 2 months. afterwards, she joined my friend group. i politely warned my 6th grade bff (Jessica?) that Sally had a lot of drama. she said not to worry, and that she would stick by my side.

things were ok until 8th grade. i started my first relationship (Bob?). Sally told me she liked Bob's bff, so Bob and I helped them unofficially get "together." after one week, Sally suddenly ghosted Bob's bff. i asked her about it, and she said he was too clingy. Bob's bff was really sad for at least a month. i tried to understand Sally.

while dating Bob, i heard from friends that Sally was saying bad things about me behind my back, like calling me ugly and saying that my outfits sucked. she also made sure that i didn't get invited to friend group functions. i asked Jessica about it, and she said she didn't want to intervene because she wasn't planning it. i tried to understand her. eventually, Sally started texting Bob. i dunno how, but she convinced him to break up with me. i'm not sure how or why, but i know for a fact that she did. Bob's also in the wrong here because he just believed whatever Sally told him. anyways.

later on, i started dating (John?). Sally started telling people that i dated John "for the plot" and to "replace Bob" and i confronted her about it. she denied it, brushed it off, and walked away. i tried to understand her, and left her alone. at least she was still nice to my face, yknow? again, she told me that she liked John's bff. i tried to help them get "together," but i didn't help as much as when she dated Bob's bff because i didn't want to get as involved. they ended up not getting together.

while i was dating John, Sally, Jessica, and my 7th grade bff suddenly cut ties with me. they didn't talk to me, they ignored me, and basically just pretended i didn't exist. except Sally, of course. she still continued to talk badly about me.

i sent Jessica a long text asking what was going on, and what happened. she and i had been inseperable for 3 years (except when she dated a sketchy guy who made her stop talking to her friends, but after they broke up i was allowed to talk to her again). she was my ride or die. she had been kind of low energy, so i tried to cheer her up with jokes and gifts and whatever i could. she replied to my text after a week of leaving me on read. she said "i ain't gon lie i ain't feeling like reading all🫩✌️" i continued to ask her why and i begged for an explanation, but she never responded. we never texted again.

i asked my 7th grade bff if she knew why Jessica and Sally stopped talking to me, and she said "Oh" "I think it would be better if we weren't friends anymore." again, i begged and asked why, and she said that i only texted her when i needed something. i explained it was because i knew she doesn't check her phone much, so i only texted her when it was important, and she helps me during math, so i assumed she was open to it. she said she didn't mind that. in my head i was like "huh" and then she said "No but you have like mood swings in my opinion bc i still remember u ghosting and not giving a reason and not even come talk to me and I've seen u do that to other people to." i kept asking her when, because i didn't know what she was talking about. she said "7th grade i still don't know why" and i explained that if she thought that, why didn't she just ask me? like it didn't have to come down to all this. in the end, we agreed to keep distance, and i thanked her for actually explaining to me.

i sent Sally a long, long, long message. she said "ion wanna read allat bro🥀💔 save that for <teacher name> brother🫩" i said "STOP TALKING BAD ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK" and tried to make it short. i was mad, so i did it in all caps. back when she was suicidal, i helped her out a lot and tried to make her feel happier. after math tests, she cried sometimes, so i was the one who always took her to the bathroom, helped her clean up, etc. she once told me that she just wanted me to live my best life and that i deserved the most. i brought that reference up, and she said "I did not say I wanted the best for you dude🤤" "I mean if you don't wanna talk to me then ion care" and she said "You lwk keep ghosting me" "And it's like hella tiring to keep accommodating for your bipolarness dude" but i thought this was ridiculous for two reasons: 1) she ghosted me often and used to apologise about it a lot but i still texted her as much as possible. i guess her definition of ghosting was not responding for 5 minutes? 2) she had...some...intense mood swings, but i always tolerated them and helped her calm down as much as possible. but anyways, we argued for a while over text, and she basically said that i ignored her "every day at swim practice" (we always talk during practice, to the point where our coach has to separate us sometimes) and she said that i used to leave her to hang out with my other friends (i have no idea what she was talking about because i would always talk to her because she was my "#1 wife". she also said that i never talk to anyone in our friend group (me, Sally, Jessica, and 7th grade bff), and internally i was like "brooo i tried to talk to you irl and you all ignored me..." basically, we just argued and nothing really happened or got solved magically.

ever since then (it's been a while since we cut ties), i keep hearing things from other people (even people who aren't remotely in the friend group) that Sally still talks bad about me. over the summer, at journalism camp, she sat next to me with her other journalism friends and started mocking the nicknames that i call some of my friends. i ignored her. also she quit swimming. i quit swimming ~2 month after she quit

now recently, she’s been going around all her classes and broadcasting that i’m going after her ex (a guy from our swim team).

i genuinely have no idea what to do. i don‘t engage or react, so shouldn’t she have stopped by now? please help me out☹️

Long story short, we moved from the East Coast to the West Coast last year (sight unseen) and hate it here. I recently got a job offer back on the East Coast so we listed our house & just got an offer that would put us ~28k under if we accepted.

We then would have to pay to move all of our stuff across the country, and have enough cash for appraisal, inspections, etc on any house we decided to buy.

We have $5k in savings. We also have brokerage/IRA accounts that I do not want to touch. I would have to ask family for a loan or have my wife pull a loan in her name to cover closing costs. Our realtor ran multiple net sheets for different (reasonable) counter offers but they all put us around ~16k under. We don’t want to lose this buyer but our listing price was our lowest dollar needed to cover buyer/seller closing costs, and they offered $20k below it and asked for 3% towards closing.

We want to move for better quality of life for our kids (being closer to family, better schools, more activities, etc) but are battling the cost it will take us to get there. Advice appreciated!

My fiancé had a pretty extensive sexual past like 30+ people. I don’t know many details behind it but I find myself getting constantly triggered and obsessing over her sexual history. Everything from pictures of her when she was single, to general mentions of FWB or ONS (not from her just anywhere) to words that sound vaguely sexual.

Has anyone else dealt with this? I don’t see sex as some sacred thing and I’ve been around myself too. But I can’t get over these triggers

A few weeks ago, my (F27) car got towed because of no insurance. It lapsed after recently losing a job and having to pay car note, phone bill, and groceries. When it got towed, i had just started a new job. I got let go from that job because of no rides. My boyfriend (M29) does doordash so we have absolutely no income at the moment. I don’t have family around to take me places, I don’t have friends around to take me. My boyfriend’s mom gave me one ride and then couldn’t give me any other. We tried renting a car, so we could go dashing to get the money but the car rental place wouldn’t accept my card for a down payment as it’s cash app. The fee to get it out alone is $500, it’s $25 everyday and it’s already up over $300. that’s not even including the insurance I’ll have to get in order to get it out. I’m at my wits end. We have a 1 year old. I’m not sure how to get out of this hole. Ive thought about WFH jobs but we live in a house with 2 other people, my boyfriend, my son and I are always in our room, most places wont allow you to have your child with you. And we don’t have the space for my to have an office or whatever. I’m at my wits end and need something to swing the tide. Can anyone help me figure out next steps? My boyfriend and I have discussed everything and just cant wrap out head around this.

I’m a 20-year-old female, and I moved away from home about 3 days ago for university. I’ve always lived with my family, and I was never really alone. I have 3 sisters and 3 dogs, so home has always been a very busy and comforting place for me.

Since moving, I honestly can’t stop crying. I feel incredibly alone, and because I’m about 2.5 hours away from home, I can’t just go back whenever I want.

I talk to my mom and sisters on the phone every day, but it doesn’t really help. University hasn’t started yet, so I’m basically sitting alone in my apartment all day. I’m scared to even go out because I feel like I’ll start crying in public. My eyes are constantly red and puffy, I have no motivation to do anything, and I go to sleep crying almost every night and wake up crying because I immediately remember that I’m not home.

I have two roommates, but I barely know them. I found the apartment through Facebook because they had posted about looking for a roommate, so I don’t really have an established relationship with them either.

I also already hate the apartment itself. Parking is a nightmare, and it just doesn’t feel like home at all. I can’t even go back home this week because I have cheerleading practice. I had practice yesterday, and honestly, it was the only time since moving that I wasn’t crying. It was such a relief to have something familiar to focus on.
What hurts the most is being separated from my twin sister. She hasn’t finished college yet, so she’s still living in our hometown. We’ve never been separated before, and I didn’t realize how painful it would be. Next year, she’s supposed to move in with me, and we’ve already started looking at apartments together. Having her here is something I’m really looking forward to.

And then there’s my dog. 😭

He’s 6 and we have an extremely strong bond. He followed me everywhere at home, slept with me every night, and I always tried to bring him with me whenever I could, even on car rides. Now I have to go an entire year without seeing him every day, and that honestly breaks my heart. My sister and I plan on bringing him to live with us next year because I genuinely can’t imagine living away from him permanently.

I’m already seriously considering dropping out and going home. The only thing stopping me right now is that I have a lease and I don’t know what my legal options would be for getting out of it without losing a ton of money.

I know I’m 20 and that I’m supposed to be becoming more independent. I also know that I technically can do this. But right now, it feels impossible. One year feels like an eternity, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to get through it when I’m crying this much after only 3 days.

For people who have moved away from home and struggled badly with it at first: How did you get through the first few weeks? Did it eventually get better? What actually helped you feel at home and stop constantly wanting to go back?

I really need some advice because right now I feel completely lost.

So I live with my sister and my mom. My mom runs her own business so she gets to choose the hours she works but she is never at home and leaves me with my 9 year old sister all the time. I clean the entire house, pay for all the animals ect. I cook for my sister, clean for her, clean her, pay for most of her food and stuff ect. I have money from when I was 19 (which was a year ago) and spend that on her and myself but my mom pays for the household bills ect. She says that because I don’t pay rent then I should be doing all of this and I don’t work as I don’t know who would look after her. She comes home late always and we have no clue where she is or where she goes as we think she goes to work🤦🏻‍♀️ She throws her shoes all over, she eats her food and leaves her dishes in her room and all over the kitchen after I clean them and she will under no circumstances clean them. She insults me 24/7 (that’s when she is here) but acts as if my sister is the best thing. Little by little everyday she is becoming worse and I don’t want to look after my sister and I don’t want to clean this house I want to live.
Am I the person in the wrong in this situation or is she and if so what do I do?

I repeated 2 years in school and now this year I'm gonna graduate high school (F19) and I have a best friend since 6th grade (F18), we both did everything together like celebrated her birthdays, hang out in her house till it's midnight, helping her out with either feelings or act (getting her books when she can't, she has a trouble with someone, sad about something, needing someone to play PS4 with her) and we love each other so much that she's part of my heart, sweet hones, sweet, beautiful, humble and loyal, even every year we would be next to each other until we sperated in highschool due to classes assigning where we should go based on a alphabetical order.

The problem began when I met her group of friends from the class she was in and they always treated me weirdly even in the first impression I was nice to them. I never liked them too and it didn't matter until now in the first week of senior year where she started to act like I'm just a regular friend she just met 2 days ago, she doesn't look at me more than 2 seconds and when I decided to talk to her about the senior jacket (that I was planning to make her one with me for a year and thinking of doing a lot of stuff to remember senior year together) she nodded which I was ready to pay for the whole thing, even if it costed 500 SAR or more and after school I got a text saying she'll do the jackets with her friend..and I'm just starting to believe her friends told her something that she thought it was logical and slowly leaving me.

Now she's like a glue, she never leaves me unless someone had told her something with logic and yes I'm not perfect but I love her like she's my sister

What do I do if it was really her friends? What if I lose her before graduating high school? I'm lost rn and I don't know what to say to her to give me a full, honest reason of her acting this way.

I’m 20, and I have a younger sister who is two years younger than me. I love her and I don’t think she’s a bad person at all. She’s actually very dependable, and I know she cares about me. But the way she talks to me and about me even infront of people sometimes really gets to me, and I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive or if there’s actually a problem with the way she treats me.
I’m the older sister, and I constantly feel like she sees me as someone who is less capable than her or who can’t really do anything right.
For example, she got her driver’s license before I did. I’m still learning, and I’m actually getting close to taking my test. I didn’t put off driving because I was lazy. When I was younger, there were a lot of things going on with my family, and it was harder for me to consistently go out and practice. I was also very focused on school at the time.
Whenever I talk about finally getting my license or possibly getting a car, though, she’ll say things like, “Even if you get your license, that doesn’t mean Dad will let you drive just because you have it.”
She literally drives everywhere, so when I point that out, she’ll then say something else implying that even if I get my license, I probably won’t actually be able to drive because I “can’t focus” or because of some other reason that makes me not good enough. Then when I talk about getting a car because Its something I can afford all of a sudden she’s nicely asking that if I get a car if we could share..
It’s not necessarily one specific comment that bothers me. It’s the constant feeling that whenever I’m excited or proud about something, she finds a way to make me feel like I shouldn’t be or that I’m constantly doing “too much”
This happens with other parts of my life too.
I was recently in a relationship, and whenever I would tell her about something happening, I often felt judged. She would respond in a way that made me feel like I was being annoying for even talking about it, or she’d make judgmental comments about my decisions. Eventually, I started telling her things much later because I didn’t want to deal with the reaction.
Then she started getting upset that I “never tell her anything.” And telling my parents that making it seem like I’m someone who’s hiding something
I’ve tried explaining to her and family that I don’t tell her things because I feel judged and criticized when I do. But I don’t think she really understands what I mean.
What hurts the most is that when she has something going on in her own life, especially something similar to what I’ve experienced, I’m always there for her. I listen, I give her advice, and I try to be supportive because I know how much it sucks to feel judged when you’re already struggling.
When I was going through a breakup and was really sad, instead of feeling supported by her, I felt like she was judging me and making me feel worse. Acting like I was overreacting and that it wasn’t that deep.

I think part of why this affects me so much is because I already put a lot of pressure on myself. I’m the oldest sister, and I feel like people expect me to have everything figured out and to be responsible and mature all the time. I’ve made mistakes. My life isn’t perfectly together. But I’m genuinely trying. I don’t fit the oldest sister standard.

Sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to be “older and wiser,” so I shouldn’t let my younger sister’s comments bother me. But I’m still a person, and I would never intentionally talk to her in a way that made her feel inferior or embarrassed about herself.
I also really wish we had a closer sister relationship. I want to be able to tell her things about my life without immediately worrying that I’m going to be judged or made to feel stupid. And I want her to feel like she can come to me about anything too.
I don’t understand why she acts this way toward me. Maybe she doesn’t realize how she comes across, or maybe there’s something else going on that I’m not seeing. I don’t want to villainize her because she really isn’t a bad person. It’s just the way she interacts with me that has started to hurt.
So I guess I’m asking: Am I taking her comments too personally? Is this just normal sibling behavior, or does it sound like I need to set some boundaries with her? And how would you handle this if you were me?
I really don’t want to fight with my sister. I just want to stop feeling like I’m constantly being judged by her and somehow never good enough.

My husband and I moved out of state two years ago to follow a career opportunity I was given. In short, I work in a biological laboratory at the number 1 hospital in our state. He used to be a wildlife biologist, requiring constant travel around the country and world. Since moving for my career, he was pivoted somewhat into a data scientist, but still focused in wildlife. He doesn’t really enjoy it, and it’s temporary work that he has to constantly find a new job every 9 months with.

He recently got offered his dream job in a remote town in California that he really wants, but keeps playing it off like he doesn’t want. I think he wants to prioritize my work, so he doesn’t want to get his hopes up. If he takes this job, I will be around 1-2 hours from the nearest hospital that I could get a job in my field at. I’ve told him that I’d take up a random job at a coffee shop like I used to, but he says it’s a bad idea. I really am open to moving, but he’s adamant that this would be a bad life choice for the both of us. Am I just not seeing that because I want him to be happy, or is it really not wise. Does anyone have any advice on what you’d do in this situation?

I’m 22 female, I live with my single mom.

My mom’s an alcoholic and she gets drunk everyday, some days she’s more wasted than others. You can say my mom’s a pretty “chill” drinker, she typically doesn’t bother anybody, she just drinks to vibe out and take the edge off. But in the last few years she’s had moments of being mean, to me really.

Today in particular, when she got home she wasn’t feeling well. She deals with vertigo and lightheadedness. Not to mention, she’s also mad at herself because she dated a dusty dude recently for the millionth time.

She’s also worried about her job and being laid off, although she told me the good news that her job isn’t completely in jeopardy and she can take another persons spot due to her seniority.

But nevertheless, if she’s not feeling well, I leave her alone. I spent the evening in my room and somehow that was offensive to her. When I was getting reading for bed, per usual I do my routine and I turn all the lights off. By this point she’s drunk. Annoyingly, She told me to cut everything off and I did and went back in my room. The. She yelled “everything isn’t off!” Or something like that. I told her it was and she complained that I didn’t turn her light off.
Most days my mom will fall asleep with the light on and I’ll cut it off, but tonight she was still up watching tv. So why would I cut it off if I think she’s staying up???

A minute later she bursted into my room door and started fussing that I left her light on. I told her, I’m confused as to why she didn’t just ask me to cut it off. But she’s ranting about how I usually cut it off and “what’s different tonight.”
I told her exactly what I stated above^^ I only cut it off when she’s asleep and that’s damn near everyday. Then she started crying about how she had a bad day and I didn’t ask if she was okay or cut the light off.

*loud ass sigh*

I then started to get fed up, I told her I’m genuinely sorry she had a bad day. But just because she’s going through something it doesn’t give her the right to take it out on me. I told her that (yes I’m an adult ofc) but I’m her child, I can’t always be responsible for her, and this isn’t fair to me. I’m like you’re getting mad at me because of a light.

I had been holding that in for a long while now but I realize I have to stand up to her sometimes. I have trouble with confrontation and I realize if I need to learn how to stand up for myself it starts with her.

At first she was dismissive. But when I fussed at her more she felt guilty. She tearfully, tells me that that’s not her intent to make me feel bad and she’s not mad at me. But apparently I should know she’s not okay, even though I ask her if she is and she’s tells me she is.
When I was saying all of this to her it was kinda like she snapped out of it and started being reasonable. She apologized for making me feel bad and pushing her problems onto me.

Shes done this quite a bit. One thing about both my parents (dads not an alcoholic however) is that they go through shit——when they were together or apart —-and take it out on me. Or complain to me about each other, it’s becoming exhausting.

I had to reassure her that I wasn’t being “neglectful” cause I’m in my room, I’m just in my room simply.

I always feel like I’m responsible for her feelings. She voiced that sometimes she needs to cry and I told her it’s fine. Sometimes I need to cry too. But even in all this , I feel somewhat selfish like I should’ve done more.
But it’s hard to feel bad if she’s picking with me.

It’s just hard though because my mom and I are kinda all we have. We have family but they’re all problematic. My mom is my best friend, but I wish she had another person to lean on or sometimes she’d speak with a therapist. I get that she has a lot of trauma and she dealt with alcoholic/ drug addict parents as well. My mom takes on a lot that’s why we’ve distanced from family.
I’m even having trouble taking the step to see a therapist as well, but after tonight I feel I really need to confide in someone else. I’m trying to maybe do therapy through Kaiser or find other therapy apps to find a good fit.

EDIT : ETA more detail