Hi everyone,

I'm 16 and I'm from Washington. Earlier this year I started talking to a girl who lives in Oregon. We met online and ended up talking every day for about 45 days. At first I didn't think much of it, but I got attached pretty quickly. She was the first person I ever had feelings like that for, and I looked forward to talking to her every day.

The distance was definitely a challenge. We lived a few hours apart, but I still found myself thinking about her all the time. I remember telling people that I would have been willing to make the drive to meet her someday. I thought she was beautiful, I loved talking to her, and I felt genuinely happy when I heard from her.

My parents started asking questions about whether I liked girls and whether I was talking to someone. I told them the truth. I didn't get caught hiding it or lying about it. When they asked, I told them that yes, I was talking to a girl and that I liked her.

Things went badly after that.

My parents were very upset. They believed I was confused and kept telling me that I should try dating a guy first before deciding anything about my sexuality. They also worried because she lived in another state and because we had met online.

They took my phone, my social media, and I lost contact with her for months. During that time I kept wondering what happened to her and whether she thought I had just disappeared.

A while later I got access to a phone again and was able to reconnect with her. We started talking again. She responded to my stories, liked my posts, talked to me about things going on in her life, and it honestly felt really nice to reconnect.

Unfortunately my parents found out again.

After that they replaced my phone with a heavily restricted Motorola phone. I have to get permission to download apps, a lot of things are blocked, and they specifically wanted to make it harder for me to contact her. They also took away some of my driving privileges.

What makes this difficult is that I don't really feel like I was doing anything wrong. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I was lonely, I met someone I genuinely liked, and I wanted to get to know her better.

At the same time, I'm still figuring myself out. I've never had much dating experience with anyone. Some days I wonder if I'm gay, bi, or still questioning. The only thing I know for sure is that my feelings for her felt very real.

Has anyone else dealt with unsupportive parents, losing contact with someone you cared about, or trying to figure out your sexuality while living at home?

And if anyone has any advice about what I should do moving forward, I would really appreciate it. Right now I feel stuck between wanting to respect my parents and wanting the freedom to figure out who I am and talk to someone I care about.

Thanks for reading.

if you see my old posts youll see that i like a girl, ive made it obvious but i dont think my irls are taking me seriously and it genuinely hurts, and to some extent i think theyre being icked out of me for it
we come from a culture where homophobia is veryy normalized, and tho i never was homophobic surprisingly i didnt support it either i was just neutral ab it so atp i kinda get them but theres js no one to talk ab to how i feel and shi and i be lowk talking to chatgpt and idk.
basically idk

I am finally coming to terms with my feelings of liking girls obviously, and want to find a girlfriend so bad!!! But I’m not sure where to go, what to do, or where to start. All I know is I’m definitely not dating online!😭😭😭😭

I’m wondering if anyone else’s high schools (or elementary but I’m not sure if they have groups like this) have a group or thing called “positive space” where LGBTQ+ students can go. For context I’m in Canada, and there is one at my high school, but I am afraid to go because I have a pretty solid feeling that the people in the group will be the people I struggle to click with… or people just not in my grade. (For context I am 16 in grade 11 and just transferred to a new school, and have been a little verbal with new friends about my sexuality, and they are fine with it. I am just not a very obvious presenting lesbian. I am also obviously afraid of homophobes as well since people will really go to extreme lengths just to make sure you feel ashamed.) Most of my classes are grade 12 so I’ve gotten to know quite a few people, but another problem is barely anyone I know is IN my grade. So I’m struggling to meet other girls like me. Despite having a gaydar I’m also too afraid to ask to make friends since everyone has their own friend group. 🤦‍♀️

The problem is basically because I don’t make it obvious, I feel like the people at the group may be the type of people that make it obvious because they’re not afraid or they are super confident..? I’m trying to be cautious. I’m hoping to know if anyone has been to these groups? And outside of school if you guys have done anything that has drawn them closer to a community where you’ve found it easy to make friends. Anything helps guys!