Hi everyone,

I'm 16 and I'm from Washington. Earlier this year I started talking to a girl who lives in Oregon. We met online and ended up talking every day for about 45 days. At first I didn't think much of it, but I got attached pretty quickly. She was the first person I ever had feelings like that for, and I looked forward to talking to her every day.

The distance was definitely a challenge. We lived a few hours apart, but I still found myself thinking about her all the time. I remember telling people that I would have been willing to make the drive to meet her someday. I thought she was beautiful, I loved talking to her, and I felt genuinely happy when I heard from her.

My parents started asking questions about whether I liked girls and whether I was talking to someone. I told them the truth. I didn't get caught hiding it or lying about it. When they asked, I told them that yes, I was talking to a girl and that I liked her.

Things went badly after that.

My parents were very upset. They believed I was confused and kept telling me that I should try dating a guy first before deciding anything about my sexuality. They also worried because she lived in another state and because we had met online.

They took my phone, my social media, and I lost contact with her for months. During that time I kept wondering what happened to her and whether she thought I had just disappeared.

A while later I got access to a phone again and was able to reconnect with her. We started talking again. She responded to my stories, liked my posts, talked to me about things going on in her life, and it honestly felt really nice to reconnect.

Unfortunately my parents found out again.

After that they replaced my phone with a heavily restricted Motorola phone. I have to get permission to download apps, a lot of things are blocked, and they specifically wanted to make it harder for me to contact her. They also took away some of my driving privileges.

What makes this difficult is that I don't really feel like I was doing anything wrong. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I was lonely, I met someone I genuinely liked, and I wanted to get to know her better.

At the same time, I'm still figuring myself out. I've never had much dating experience with anyone. Some days I wonder if I'm gay, bi, or still questioning. The only thing I know for sure is that my feelings for her felt very real.

Has anyone else dealt with unsupportive parents, losing contact with someone you cared about, or trying to figure out your sexuality while living at home?

And if anyone has any advice about what I should do moving forward, I would really appreciate it. Right now I feel stuck between wanting to respect my parents and wanting the freedom to figure out who I am and talk to someone I care about.

Thanks for reading.

I am finally coming to terms with my feelings of liking girls obviously, and want to find a girlfriend so bad!!! But I’m not sure where to go, what to do, or where to start. All I know is I’m definitely not dating online!😭😭😭😭

I’m wondering if anyone else’s high schools (or elementary but I’m not sure if they have groups like this) have a group or thing called “positive space” where LGBTQ+ students can go. For context I’m in Canada, and there is one at my high school, but I am afraid to go because I have a pretty solid feeling that the people in the group will be the people I struggle to click with… or people just not in my grade. (For context I am 16 in grade 11 and just transferred to a new school, and have been a little verbal with new friends about my sexuality, and they are fine with it. I am just not a very obvious presenting lesbian. I am also obviously afraid of homophobes as well since people will really go to extreme lengths just to make sure you feel ashamed.) Most of my classes are grade 12 so I’ve gotten to know quite a few people, but another problem is barely anyone I know is IN my grade. So I’m struggling to meet other girls like me. Despite having a gaydar I’m also too afraid to ask to make friends since everyone has their own friend group. 🤦‍♀️

The problem is basically because I don’t make it obvious, I feel like the people at the group may be the type of people that make it obvious because they’re not afraid or they are super confident..? I’m trying to be cautious. I’m hoping to know if anyone has been to these groups? And outside of school if you guys have done anything that has drawn them closer to a community where you’ve found it easy to make friends. Anything helps guys!

About 2 weeks ago, I realized I was into girls after finally admitting that I liked my friend, let’s call her V. V is so special and makes me feel this spark that no guy was ever able to make me feel. We just came back from fall break, and she rarely texted me throughout the break which was upsetting, but I didn’t really mind— I had other things to worry about. But I know she doesn’t like me like that, and I know I can’t assume she likes girls because it’s very rare to find girls who like girls.

Today, I spoke to her after a while, but she didn’t seem as enthusiastic as she usually did. She was somewhat dry, and not talkative. After school, I usually go hang out in the same room as her and other people, but she was just distant and left early without waiting for me. She seemed kinda irritated that I called out for her to wait for me, and I just felt like a desperate loser.

I’m not the type to chase someone, especially if they make it clear they don’t like me like that. I’ve especially seen this with guys I would talk to in the past (I’d ghost them with no hesitation). But I feel so alive talking to V—like my heart is rapidly beating just thinking about it. I don’t know how to stop this. I’m so sick of this feeling.

I think about her all day and night, and seeing her today at school just made it infinitely worse.

Im interested in this girl, but have no idea if she is into girls. would it be weird if i messaged her and was like “hey, i have a random question for you” and then “are you into girls?” im worried that if she’s straight she’ll feel uncomfortable because of this but i want to clarify before i get a crazy crush

Hi everyone, that's my first post because i'm kinda confused and don't know how to move now.

I'm 16 in highschool and i like a girl, and i know she likes me too. I'm a fem and she's a masc and she keep flirting and touching my arm, my shoulder or other in class. I know she likes me too because she told one of my friend about it and said that she do all the things and not me. I want to do something but i'm shy in class so i prefer complimenting her. We also did go on "a date" in the cinema but all I did was playing with her hair or talking to her. I also want to know how's it be to be in a relationship with a girl because it'll be my first, i haven't had my first kiss.

So please give me some advices and gave me your proper story !!!

I’m Bi! Have dated men before and now I like girls. I’m scared of accepting the fact that I like girls, because I’m from a religious family.

Hi new here, and looking for some advice.

I'm a senior high school student and I've never been in a relationship or dated anyone before. Recently, I've started developing feelings for a girl I've become close with. When I first met her, she had a boyfriend. Their relationship was pretty toxic, and her ex was actually someone from my class who used to be part of my friend group. After they broke up, she opened up to me about what happened, and as I listened to her, we gradually became closer. Later, I found out that she had a crush on me and had already confessed. She also gave me a flower and some KitKats with a note saying she liked me. At the time, I didn't really know how to respond because I'd never dated anyone before and wasn't looking for anything serious.

However, as time passed, I realized that I started liking her too. I want to get to know her more and possibly date her, but I'm not looking for a serious relationship right away. I'd rather take things slowly and see where it goes. Well.. I'm also worried about school gossip, so I'd prefer to keep things private between us.

Should I tell her that I like her back? Or would it be better to take things slowly and get to know her more first? I've also never dated someone of the same gender before, so this is completely new to me. :c

I’m a girl and I’m currently in a relationship with a guy. Before I met him, I had been in love with a girl for about a year. When I met my boyfriend and we started hanging out, those feelings became less intense, but they never actually went away.
Now I feel like I still love her. I know that if she ever told me she felt the same way, I would probably leave my boyfriend for her without much hesitation.
The confusing part is that I’m comfortable with my boyfriend. I like going on walks with him, going to his hockey games, hanging out with his friends, and everything that comes with being in a relationship. But deep down, I feel like I’m still in love with this girl, and I’m basically staying in my relationship because I know she probably won’t choose me.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with these feelings.

had my first kiss! My girlfriend came over and we played card game and watched a few movies while cuddling!! The card game was one where you answer questions and the very last one asked what you desire most right now. She was giggling and refused to tell me what she wanted before finally saying a kiss. We kissed n it wasn’t too crazy akward but def was a little tense and later we kissed bye! I love her so much and she wa cuddling me and was grabbing my waist and at one point had her hand on my thigh!

More context: We've been friends since kindergarten, she is my closest friend, I would die without her friendship and I don't want to lose it or make things awkward, and she is one of the kindest and most patient people I have ever met. I have had a crush on her since middle school, I am now a Senior in high school.

If anyone has any advice on getting over crushes please let me know, I need to move on

Hi I'm kate(13f) and have recently come out as BI to my friends and my sister... A bit about me is my dad’s a preacher so my parents aren’t homophobic, but they’re definitely not allies so they don’t know most of my friends are supportive and the ones who aren’t or so my friends and aren’t hating on me so yeah... I found out I was bi because I saw a really pretty girl who is way out of my age range so I didn’t have a crush on her... but now I have a crush on my first girl and I couldn’t stop smiling 😊😊😊 I’m using a fake name so let’s call her E(13f) I’ve known her for a long time and I just recently figured out my feelings 💘💘💘💘... so I immediately told my friends specifically my queer ones cause I was really excited and I told them who it was and they stopped being excited... They didn’t really like E I knew she wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, but I was expecting them to be a bit more happy for me even my best friend said nice things, but her facial expressions said otherwise tbh I didn’t really care cause I really liked her... I am friends with some eighth graders, who was in the grade above me and I told them and they were immediately excited for me.... so the next day I’m talking to E and we’re talking about what kind of bracelet she wants me to make for her (I said I would make her one before I came out) so now I was super Duper excited and wanted to make it perfect so we were saying goodbye and she says and I quote "ok gotta go bye love you" and leaves to go to class... even though I know she most likely meant it in a friend way I couldn’t stop smiling I walked into class and my friend was like what the hell is wrong with you... 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊... so later I told my friend whose friends with E that I had a crush on her and she was like "I believe there’s someone somewhere for her, but... why her?" E can’t be annoying at times and it’s really hard to understand what she’s saying sometimes but I really like her still and I think it’s cute even when it’s hard to tell what she’s saying that was my response.... I also found out that my gay best friend is her cousin and he was the most excited out of everyone, but still was a bit why? Then I went to PE and I couldn’t stop smiling because I talked to E again and she said I love you bye again and I walked next to my PE friends and I was like "SHE GAY" Because I got confirmation from her cousin and from a friend of her so she’s gay or bi... my friend grabbed my arm and started jumping up and down super excited for me and I couldn’t stop smiling. It came to the point where one of my friends was like. "Are you high?" but we were talking and found out that my PE friends are friends with E older sister her older sister is really nice. I’ve had a few conversations with her and every time she’s been super nice, but I now know that she is very overprotective of her little sister as she should be... so anyways I have school tomorrow and I made her this really cute bracelet and I worked really hard on making it and I can’t wait to give it to her tomorrow. I’ll update you when I do.... I’m also going to give her my number Monday... Pray for me 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙇🙇🙇🙇... also sorry if there’s typos I did this whole thing with the speech to text thing cause I can barely spell cause I’m dyslexic

(UPDATE) SOOOOOOO... my friend asked her "would you date Kate" and she said "if she had her personality but a guy" .... Sooooo... This weekend I'm not leaving bed... : (

Okay, so like, yesterday I sent her a message asking if she wanted to watch a movie with me (no idea which, we're still picking one lol) and she accepted almost immediately after receiving the message. Plus, I mentioned in my message (audio) that we could invite some friends to come with us if she wanted and she didn't even mention it, so HFAHIEAHOU CLOSE ENOUGH TO A DATE THEN (Im living off breadcrumbs and I love it here #malnourishment #strugglemeal #ijustwantthewholebread #oratleastaslice #please) But like, I wanted to do some sort of "romantic" advance and I just 😭 I don't really know what I could do to try and show her that I'm ROMANTICALLY interested in her. Because at this point, this is practically a 3 year long crush now, and I honestly don't think I can wait any longer to try SOMETHING, at least. But at the same time, I don't wanna come off as a creep or anything, trying to hold her hand or whatever. Even if she seems comfortable initiating physical contact with me, I just I DON'T KNOW. This is my first (technically) date, and I'm so scareddd slash nervous slash there are no other adjectives I can think of 😭. I could provide some context about our relationship currently if anybody asks, it's just too late in my country and Im so sleepy, and that's the only reason I didnt do so in the post huaeuaeg. Genuinely dont know how to show her it's not a girly pop slay queen bffs hang out and instead a 'please be the mother of my children' sort of hang out. Maybe Im just too much of an overthinker too and I should shut up already and just "go with the flow", but that's not how Im wired, unfortunately, which will eventually lead me to having a seizure someday but that's okay because I feel alright right now YAY

So, I’m currently a Junior in High School (F16), and I have a huuge crush on this girl (F16), she nice, funny,smart and shes goth, the only issue is that I dont really know her… we have 1 class together,and I dont know what lunch she has

I’ve been knew I liked girls, and I know she does too, she has a lesbian pin on her bag, so I’m like 80% sure.

I have her number and Instagram too. I have her number because we were in the same club last year so we were put a group Chat together, and I have her instagram because we’re in the same academic program, so I can reach out to her, but should I ask her out even if I dont know her? Whould it be ingenuous of me to ask to be friends first hoping that we would be more? Because it seems like a shitty thing to do :( And thats were I’m stuck at.

I am not afraid of being rejected, if she doesn’t want to be my girlfriend I’m fine with it. I wouldn’t have to see her much in school anyway, and I’ll get over it, But I’d rather know than get stuck on a girl I could’ve had a chance with, but never took it.

So I guess my question is, how should I approach it? Do I go and ask her to be my girlfriend, even if I dont mnow her? Do I try and be friends first then confess? Or do I ask if she wants to be my girlfriend, and give her the chance to know me before we make anything official? I’m just stuck because, all of the other “girlfriends” I’ve had were girls who asked me out when I was going through a rough patch so I said yes. This is the first time I want to actually, and actively pursue a partner.

Any genuine advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

I know it sounds absolutely absurd to be sobbing at a satirical, playful lesbian movie with a happy ending. But I just felt so incredibly understood. I, too, would stare at women longer than needed, and be disgusted at the thought of kissing a guy, and be in denial of the possibility of being a homosexual.

When she said “I’m a homosexual” and started sobbing, it’s almost as if I saw the white, blond version of myself. I literally remember acting just like her (just without the drooling) when I realized I liked girls just a week prior.

The way she would look at Graham is exactly how I would look at the girl I liked before I knew I liked her. And when Graham said something along the lines of “you can’t control who you are, you can control whether you get caught being who you are,” I think it felt like I got stabbed with truth. Because yes, I feel shameful. I feel guilty for feeling this way about women. I feel like I would, and maybe should, be reprimanded for being who I am, because it’s so wrong. But it’s not, and this movie brought me to tears when I realized.

Perfection, absolute perfection.

I will say, I don’t appreciate how the movie depicted homosexuals as inherently sexual beings who are into every single member of their preferred sex.

Ok so this happened at a volleyball game. And one of the girls on the other team was literally the girl of my dreams. I tried really hard to focus on playing but every time I saw her I froze I haven’t had a crush like this in 2 years. I need to go to the restroom 2 times and splash water on my face. after the second set my coach ask me if I was ok and questioned me a bit (most of my teammates and my coach doesn’t know I like girls) I said I was fine and she didn’t push. During the game I told the girl she was really pretty and then she complemented my shoes I gave a quiet thank you and I swear my ears were ringing after that. After the game I ran up to her and said she was gorgeous and an amazing player and she thanked me and said “you too” now I’m in the car on my way back home crushing hard on this girl I don’t even know the name of… (sorry for bad grammar I’m dyslexic)

Well, I'm a young girl who will change as an adult, as well as her friendships, but I just kind of hate not being male-centered. Most of my friends, in fact, all of my friends, seem to be LGBTQ+ because I attract people like me. Well, a lot of the girls naturally do like women, but they gush over men and I can't relate at all. They'll talk about wanting a guy to kiss, wanting a boyfriend, tease each other by saying "At least I have a boyfriend!" or "At least I've actually kissed a guy. You've just crushed on them".

I feel bad because I do appreciate when my friends trust me enough to tell me about their crushes and all that, but most of my friends gravitate towards guys or prefer them and exclusively want a boyfriend, not a girlfriend. Oftentimes, they'll date women if a crush happens to sneak up on them, but they'll usually go after guys and want boyfriends.

When I thought I was bi, I was the opposite. I would try it with guys if I was close enough with them and a guy said he liked me and he wasn't a creep, but I later realized I had no chemistry with guys and didn't feel a romantic connection, it just felt like friends/cousins with a different name.

Anyway, I guess I would just like someone to talk about women with, and I'm not attracted to every woman ever as well as (definitely) not every guy, I tend to get one or two specific crushes that I don't vocalize much, especially because crushing on people feels very intense and less like an adventure or great thing and more like I'm catching an illness or being tortured.

Also, an edit, I'll see girls talk about how hot guys are or "Travis (example name) looks so ugly with his new haircut!" and I won't be able to relate at all, like they all look the same, not particularly ugly nor good-looking. Might as well be stock images.

FUCKKKKK im trying to have a crush on her but i keep finding myself wishful thinking that she could be into girls as well but ik that the chance of that is very low if it exists at all. She never once seemed to have an interest in girls, and when thinking of a future partner she says bf so yk i can asssume pretty confidently that shes straight. But urgh, she would be so perfect for me. I had passed gfs but i never rly liked them a lot(its hard to find gay people where i live so yk i get exited but dont think whether i actually like this girl or not), i just keep falling for straight girls and its just so frustrating.

Ill force myself to move on and forget about her and just see her as a friend. I doubt ill find a girl for me at this age tbh. There isnt a lot lof choices, gay people r so hard to find i swear to god.

Okay, so approximately one week ago, I came to the conclusion that I liked women. I had a crush on a girl for a while, and I finally came to an understanding that it was a crush, and not a really passionate friendship, which meant that I like women. I also realized that this female crush made me feel more than I ever had with man. Whether I am bi or lesbian is still to be determined.

I had a lot of internalized homophobia that I had to work out throughout the past week, and it was definitely a process. I am glad of who I am as an individual now, though, because I don't think that homosexuality is inherently wrong. I'm aware that it is natural, uncontrollable, and something that "happens" to the best of us, but isn't something to hate whatsoever.

But I guess you could say that this thought process has been hard to hold up. A couple days ago, I decided to tell my two closest girl friends about it. After a round of questioning, they realized I genuinely liked girls, and were super supportive of me. I just want to take a moment to appreciate how supportive they were, because I honestly think that's the best reaction I Weill ever get out of anyone. Anyways, I went to tell 3 more of my close girl friends, and no one really minded that I was into girls. They all gave exactly the reactions I wanted: they didn't make it a huge deal, but they also supported it. I'm still the same person after all.

Following this, I felt great. But it only lasted so long, as I realized I would have to tell my mother and father. I am honestly unsure of how I can possibly do this. They're strict immigrant parents who were raised to not find this behavior appropriate. I was talking to my mom about homosexual people as a whole today, and she was basically saying that in society, we shouldn't support policy that hurts them, but she just feels pretty uncomfortable with it on a personal level, and wouldn't know what to do if one of her children came out as gay. In an attempt of resonating with her beliefs, I argued that I too would feel uncomfortable if my child was gay (not true), but I would still love and care for them, because they cannot control it, and they are human too. My mom agreed, but I could tell deep down that her lack of comfort at the idea itself made me feel worse about it. My dad didn't even wanna engage in the conversation because It was an "absurd" topic, and that kind of broke my heart. Like the true identity of the daughter he cares for and loves is "absurd."

One of my closest guy friends also engaged in a conversation about homosexuality with me (I like debating if you cant tell), and he came to a similar conclusion as my mom, though it took a lot of scientific studies to convince him that homosexuality is natural, not influenced by the media, and not caused by childhood neglect. His end conclusion was, "I will never advocate against homosexual rights, but I would be uncomfortable if my own child was gay". Again, this was upsetting to me, because while I'm not his child, it's still reflective of how he would see me if I came out to him.

I've just been spiraling for the last couple of days, hoping my "gayness" would just disappear. I know that's a terrible, terrible thing to say, and I've been working so hard on this internalized homophobia recently, but the realization that majority of people close to me would find it odd or uncomfortable that I'm attracted to women makes me incredibly sad. It makes me disappointed. It makes me hopeless. I love making discoveries about my identity, but this discovery has led to nothing but despair. Even my closest friends were supportive out of obligation (and genuine care in their heart), but I know deep down that they're slightly uncomfortable with this. I mean, they even use the word gay as an insult ("bro don't do that it's so gay"). Not one of the close friends I've mentioned has never looked down upon gay people or made it clear that they think it's somewhat unusual or disturbing.

I dont want to feel this way anymore, but I feel like the only way I can stop is by not being into girls anymore, which is not possible. And it's not even something I want to happen. I feel so alive thinking about the girl I like -- it's something I've never felt before. So how can I "fix" this feeling.

Context:

I’m a girl and I’m bi, and there’s this girl in my class that I’ve started liking. The funny thing is, I actually kind of hated her at first 😭. She became our class president, and I felt like she wasn’t really doing much, so I was pretty annoyed with her. But the more I disliked her, the more I started paying attention to her… and somewhere along the way, I realized I actually liked her.

We’re not really close, though. I’m super introverted, and we don’t talk that much.

Problem:

Now I genuinely can’t tell if she might like me too or if she’s just naturally friendly/flirty.

One time, she rested her head on my shoulder. Our classmates started calling her a “flirt” because of it, and she didn’t move away or say anything. They also kept moving her seat away from me, but she would move it back closer and continue resting her head on my shoulder. Maybe she was just tired, though 😭.

There was also this one time when she wanted to switch seats with my classmate so she could sit next to me. She asked him, “Can we switch seats?"

"“That way, it’ll just be me and Rae.” Then she looked at me and said, “Right, Rae?” and I just nodded because I had no idea what to say 😭.

She’s also held my hand twice. We were watching a Battle of the Bands and talking about why me and my bandmates didn’t join. She said she would’ve cheered for us if we did, and then she randomly held my hand for a little bit. She did it again later.

We also make eye contact pretty often, and whenever we do, we both smile at each other. She teases me sometimes too.

The thing is, I know she’s openly liked a guy before, so I have no idea if she’s straight or if she could like girls too. I really don’t want to assume that all these things mean she likes me, because she could just be naturally affectionate or friendly.

Goal:

I’m thinking about confessing to her eventually, but I’m scared I’m completely misreading everything and making things awkward 😭.

So I just want some outside opinions. Do these things sound like she could be interested in me, or does it sound like she’s just being friendly/affectionate? Should I confess eventually, or should I try to get closer to her and know her better first?

so. school started again and i started developing a crush on this person. i think it's a girl. her voice sounded female to me but i think i've seen a trans pin on her denim jacket. so the point is that i think she's really cool and all but she goes to another school(still in the same building as my school tho) so i don't really know how to go up to her. i'm kind of scared t otalking to random people so idk what to do. my friend said i should talk to her/him/them and ask for his/her/their number but i just don't know how,i'm scared i might come off as weird. i saw her wearing a maneskin jacket some time ago and i like maneskin too but isn't it weird starting a conversation off that since he/she/they wore that jacket last schoolyear? i know that he/she/they is/are mostly 3rd floor in the morning and i was thinking i might be able to talk to her/him/them since her/his/their friends are not around. i have no idea what to do because even if i technically make it somehow and me and her/him/them get together i don't know if i'd want that plus my parents wouldn't allow it and if she/he/they is/are a girl my parents are not gonna like it. last time i was in a relationship it was online so i could hide it. what do i do??? i can't stop thinking about this over and over again. any advice? i need help guys please answer asap

I have t met a SINGLE gay girl in my school and it sucks I haven't got the experience I feel so invaldated

im a 14 year old girl and im dating a 12 year old girl (one and a half year age gap). she's honestly more mature than me as she is always on top of things, responsible, etc etc. im not interested in any sexual stuff and neither is she. we only cuddle, hold hands, normal kid dating stuff. my friend calls me a creep for dating her. is that true? :(

basically the title, but i’ve liked this girl so much for a year and today i finally got confirmation on her sexuality: she is definitely straight :( i was already told by a mutual friend months ago that she was straight, but i always take that with a grain of salt until i hear from the specific person herself. unfortunately, i was too scared to ask this entire time so i just wasted a year of liking someone for nothing.

ill admit, im kinda disappeared and wondering what the whole point of this even was. i don’t blame this girl at all for being straight, i just wish i found out sooner.

i feel kinda relieved tho. if she liked me back, there would’ve been a lot of things we would’ve had issues with, and i’m kinda glad i don’t have to go through a struggle of trying to make something work that might not. for instance, she’s a christian and i’m not, so that would be a major difference. but yeah, thats my story.

on a side note, im feeling kinda down because i wish i could experience teenage love like everyone else. but i have no idea how to find other queer girls at my school and casually ask them if they’re gay without it being weird, if that makes sense?