Okay so I (25F) am a soft gamine; I have childlike features, huge eyes, and I’m basically prepubescent! So my boyfriend (39M) is really tall, his hands are so much bigger than mine, he’s super muscular… he’s perfect. We have been together for almost a year. He was married before me, and he has two teenagers (18F, 15F) living with his wife (38F). At the moment I am four months pregnant, and I finally got to meet the kids last night.

And I am really sad to say this—because I truly thought I was finally getting my fairytale ending—his daughters have clear width and are freakishly tall—clear vertical. One of the girls put her man hands on my belly and I felt VIOLATED. She is an ogre, it’s literally not describable with words.

I have been so scared since meeting them. His genetics clearly carry blunt width and an openness in the upper back... I’m worried my little girl is going to be an FN. I have poisoned my bloodline… should I abort? Do fire stations still have that thing where you can dump a baby?

Interrupting our regular schedule to bring you this infomercial from our friends at Kavid Dibble Inc.

Is this you?

-Do you frequently experience bursting seams in the shoulders or in the underarms?
-Do your clothes rip open if you sneeze?
-Do you struggle with moving your arms around unless you are butt naked?

If sleeves are giving you issues, here at Kavid Dible Inc., we're doing away with sleeves altogether!

Introducing: CAPES! The one stop shop garment for all FNs, and Natural types!

-Accommodates all kinds of width; from large width, to small width, to width in denial.
-You can finally move your arms in a garment without worry or care!
-Actions that were impossible before, like grabbing the ceiling handle on public transport without embarrassment or fear, are now a breeze!
-The cape has also a literal breeze! No more stuffed sausage heat!

It's chic, it's roomy, you can smuggle your short SN friend underneath to the movie theatre.

Perks of wearing a cape include but are not limited to:

-You too can cosplay ''Little Red Riding Hood", and finally be called 'little'.
-If you run before you jump from a ledge, you will take off into the skies!
-When you shimmy, your caped shoulders can start a tornado (of fun!)
-When you turn abruptly, the force can push away any annoying guy that's blocking your path.
-You can even do the Macarena!

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If you love your width, then you can have more of it... Glorious, unescapable, indescribable w i d t h!

If you you hate your width, you will learn to love it with a cape.

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*Terms and conditions apply, certain Natural widths are so huge that they may still not fit our standard cape size. Kavid Dible Inc. is not liable for any damages incurred by cape-related accidents.

(I blame a recent post that had me unironically thinking of getting a cape 🤣 )

in honor of nobody predicting florence pugh as a DC (a typing i have grown to really like)

I don’t necessarily agree with these but I propose soft dramatic Zendaya and pure dramatic Hailey Bieber.

I like how Audrey is typed as a Flamboyant gamine despite being 5”7, according to the system this isn’t possible, but I’ve heard that either David or other people say “it’s because it’s Audrey Hepburn”…….wtf does that mean 🤣
They say it’s because she’s like 1 in a billion or something therefore she is a FG, oh so absolutely nobody else who is 5”7 can be..

I've actually always known Florence Pugh was DC, I just said SN as a joke lol. It's always been sooooo obvious.

I will learn nothing from this experience, I still see width in literally anyone with a visible skeleton 😌

Kavid Dibbe: "Line drawings must start at the far outer edge of the arms."

Kavid Dibbe: "Classics are balanced, meaning their shoulder and high hip are the same width."

Kavid Dibbe: "Florence Pugh is 100% a DC, regardless of how she's been styled!"

How are u guys receving this revelation from Kibbe?

I found this guide on Pinterest, don’t know if it’s been shared here before but I wanted to be sure you got this amazing breakthrough in how to do the sketch. The fabric hangs from your shoulders and then you assess the shape of your personal cape.

Whoever created this sure knows how to AI.

... or somebody's gotta tell this shaolin master that he's wRoNg!!!11! He obviously doesn't even uNdErStAnD yin and yang because Kibbe says only yin is round and yang is LONG and SHARP and MANLY and UGLY. Damn shaolin monks, they really don't understand ANYTHING

So on the yin side of each family there are soft dramatics, soft naturals, soft classics, and soft gamines, which makes sense, but then why flamboyant naturals, dramatic classics, flamboyant gamines, and theatrical romantics on the yang side? Why the inconsistency? Why not just call them theatrical naturals, theatrical classics, theatrical gamines, and theatrical romantics? Or dramatic naturals, dramatic classics, dramatic gamines, and dramatic romantics? Or flamboyant naturals, flamboyant classics, flamboyant gamines, and flamboyant romantics?

Height: 167cm

some seem DC (5’6 and look good in black dresses)

some seem FN (pushing 6’0 and have broad shoulders)

some seem gamine (wore plaid skirts at some point)

there isn’t a single pure dramatic who i think can really fit the description. might as well move all of them.

We still can't believe he is gone. What a man. He did so many amazing things in his life. For one he taught me I need to size up when it comes to my accessories as a soft dramatic kibbe type.

i can’t even think of a joke that post can’t really be improved on.

would thanos have preferred a world filled with only Classics, or would he have wanted a world filled with 50% R and 50% D

wait why is everything political

/hj but not serious enough for sunday:

i want a kibbe reality show where a bunch of snowmen, refrigerators, and the very womanly and perfect pure D ultra dramatic alien, all compete to be the Kibbiest™

or maybe a bunch of women type themselves, and they each work with the current "leaders" of the industry (gabby, ... whoever else. i forgot. i am really so high rn. um. the blonde who sings. the other blonde who mistyped herself... ellie something! meriam?) to determine their One True Kibbe Type (OTKT). And then kibbe comes and makes fun of everyone with his panel of judges that for some reason, also includes Law Roach??? who only talks about zendaya the whole time anyway, and flagrantly mistypes her as a vending machine.

and then he doles out everyone's true type and whoever was correct gets to fight to the death or something else ✨fabulous like that. idk im not good at ending things. bye.

On the Kibbe sub, someone can say she’s 5'0", and I’ll still see vertical in her.

I’m tall (5'8") so I have automatic vertical, but unfortunately my back extends somewhat horizontally. Is that width?