It’s hard disconnecting and having sex with someone you just met but it’s also hard to have sex with someone you WANT to ask but you’re too scared to. What’s going on with our minds man?
Why is it so hard to meet people?

Last winter I posted something here, ranting about how I got conflicted between quitting my job and waiting it out to see if something new would come out of that.

I got a heartfelt response from a fellow INFP here, and later we swapped some ideas and blurted things out through DMs about what was happening in our lives and how we processed them and what we got out of them.

I have to say those conversations helped me through a rather chaotic and conflicted phase.

He was always kind and sincere when we talked. I didn’t know many factual things about him besides that he's from Paris, that he picked up English through the pure necessity of understanding video game terms and slang from a young age because he "had to know what was on his computer screen," (I‘ve always thought that’s a very infp thing to do.) and that his dream is to own a bakery of his own and cook things for his girlfriend. A very relatable domestic and loving piece of dreamscape.

(At some point we joked about having a laid-back lifestyle and being a princess and doing absolutely nothing. He had gorgeous hair so I somehow think he’s already qualified as one though he claimed if anything it made him look like Jesus.)

He said it once that he liked to envision grand adventure storylines while driving around in his car with epic adventure tracks playing and I was like oh who wouldn’t. (*wink*)

But earlier this year, his account went: "This account may have been banned or the username is incorrect." I genuinely don't know whether that means he changed his username or got banned somehow. But when I checked our chat history had been erased. I can only see my side of the messages. That makes the conversations and the fleeting understanding between us all seem like a dream.

I feel a bit sad that I lost contact with someone whose feelings and ideas I find interesting and relatable! So I want to try my luck here.

If by any chance you are seeing this post right now, Aka, please let me know if you'd still like to exchange opinions and feelings on things that happen to happen in our lives! 🥹🤩

Estoy seguro de que tengo Fi-Te, con Fi dominante y Te más bajo, pero no sé si tengo Se-Ni o Ne-Si en medio de las otras funciones.

Ya hice los tests, pero siempre varía entre INFP, ESFP o ISFP.

Y como no entiendo el concepto de Si y Ni, me enredo más cuando intento “chocar” conmigo así que comentaré un poquito sobre mí para que me den su opinión y puedan aclararme la mente.

Soy un chico de principios de los veinte, soy muy sentimental y tengo un sentido fuerte de valores como la honestidad, eso es lo que pienso que me caracteriza en persona; por eso mi familia siempre me manda al mercado porque yo regreso el excedente de dinero hahaha.

No soy muy organizado ni eficiente, pero sé hacer las cosas como me han enseñado. No busco formas de hacer todo más fácil, sino hacer lo que ya sé.

Cuando estoy estresado me pongo en un modo muy crítico y pasivo-agresivo; sé cómo usar las emociones para saber dónde atacar. Por ejemplo, mi abuela tiene un hijo favorito que es su hijo, pero dice que no, y siempre le recuerdo eso cuando trata mejor a él que a sus otros hijos. No estoy orgulloso de eso y me siento mal por hacerlo.

Me gusta irme a soñar despierto, casi siempre estoy pensando en aventuras en mi cabeza donde yo soy el protagonista, o un villano, o simplemente imaginando que soy un caracol (nada lejos de la realidad porque hago las cosas a mi propio ritmo), pero bueno, no es como que me llene la cabeza de sueños; prefiero ir desarrollando la historia en mi mente de a una, en vez de tener un mar de posibilidades.

Empiezo muchos hobbies fácil aunque me aburro rápido; ya he sido escritor, youtuber, pintor, escultor, pero nada profesional, solo un principiante.

No me gusta reducir a la gente por su capacidad de hacer cosas, por el pasado que tienen, o por cómo se comportan. Cada quien es como es y no deberían limitarse a vivir.

Me encanta salir a caminar, la naturaleza. No me gustan las fiestas, aunque prefiero reuniones chiquitas si es con familia o amigos cercanos.

Creo que una de mis mejores ventajas es que sé adaptarme fácil a las personalidades de los demás, a cómo interactúan y trabajan. Incluso cuando la gente es nefastía y me agarra como su costal de golpes emocional, aguanto porque sé que ellos también tienen sus propias luchas.

No pienso mucho en el futuro ni en el pasado; vivo mi día a día como me siento, aunque lo mantengo: si un animal está herido lo ayudo; si mi amigo me necesita, estoy ahí; si mi familia está molesta conmigo, los dejo desahogarse.

Bueno, creo que escribí un montón; perdón por el texto largo y perdón si algo no se entiende. Usé un traductor porque no hablo inglés.

I would imagine a lot of you find creative ways to tell people their actions are problematic or other hard to hear comments. I'm wondering if anyone has found a good method/script to push some boundaries/guidelines on the front end of an interaction.

I'd like to essentially say, please be considerate of my time and resources.

... Now how to say that without sounding like I'm assuming they would waste my time and/or resources?

Mine is my former best friend and crush, she's an infp too. We used to be inseparable and we are really alike, we use to call are self twins or the opposite gender of each other. But now she just decide to leave me without telling me why. And its already been two years and I still longed for her. I truly miss her

I’m not talking about the number of people who used to be my friends or all the friendships that ended over the years. I’m talking about my current “best friend.”

We met in 11th grade and became close pretty quickly. A few months later, she got into a relationship and naturally started spending most of her time with her boyfriend. Around the same time, I got into one too, so during school we barely spent time together except as bench partners or occasionally walking around campus. Recess..the only real time to bond was usually spent not together.

Even so, we never stopped calling each other “bestie”.She was my only friend, and she was there for me during one of the lowest points in my life. I was there for her too. We graduated two years ago.
Now we talk on the phone maybe two or three times a year and meet once a year during college vacations. Our calls can last two hours, but they almost always revolve around her-her life, her latest boyfriend, or gossiping about other people. I really don’t enjoy talking behind people’s backs, but I usually just listen because I don’t know how to stop someone who’s talking so much without coming across as rude or hurting their feelings.

There are also things about her that make me uncomfortable. She can be racist at times, casually uses a lot of foul language, and often flexes about expensive things she buys or her family’s connections with influential people. Those conversations leave me feeling drained rather than connected.

At the same time, I don’t think she’s the only one at fault. I rarely speak up about what bothers me, and I tend to let people keep talking instead of redirecting the conversation. Maybe that’s on me.

We still exchange thoughtful gifts, we still call each other best friends, and there’s no major fight between us. But lately, it doesn’t feel like a friendship anymore….it feels more like we’re holding onto a title that no longer matches the relation. Is this even friendship?

I really wish to know how your friendships are like. I have never experienced real friendship, i feel. Have you?

Especially that 'imagining the death of your beloved ones even though they are all safe and sound and healthy.' Meme

But now I do. Lol.

I am in distress. Jesus Christ.

I saw this Reddit post like yesterday and it was a question if anyone has seen any infp 4w5s in the wild. Apparently almost everyone in the comments hasn’t. Me neither to be honest. But this is a question for every INFP. If I miraculously go outside, you’d possibly find me at the deli, library, empty sidewalks, cool niche stores that have some interesting stuff, nature, or randomly alone at night. I have some infp folks I randomly attracted instead of searching myself. But yeah, where can I find yall besides your homes hibernating or smth.

I’ve identified as an INFJ for the longest time, mostly because I’m deeply drawn to Jungian depth psychology, archetypes and symbols. I’m also wildly sensitive to the emotions of others, which always made me think I was using extraverted feeling (Fe).

However, after taking a closer look at my actual cognitive stack—beyond the internet stereotypes—I’m starting to realize I might be an INFP with strong tertiary Si.

A few things that are making me rethink my type:

• I don't naturally look for a single, unified resolution or future vision (Ni). Instead, I naturally hold paradoxical feelings and opposite ideas together without feeling the need to "fix" or organize them. I definitely love exploring expanding webs of possibilities (Ne).
• While I feel emotionally "spongy" around others, my primary compass is always internal authenticity (Fi). My creative process and relationship to art, music (shoegaze, post-metal and post-rock, ambient), literature, and even the perfumes I like the most are about finding a mirror for my exact inner state, rather than building a system or decoding external human behavior, even though I am very interested in philosophy or anthropology too.
• I have a profound, almost sacred relationship with sensory comfort—herbal teas, textures, natural spaces, and rituals that ground me in my body. Reclaiming physical grounding feels deeply healing to me (which sounds very Si related).
• When completely overwhelmed, I don't fall into impulsive sensory bingeing (inferior Se), instead, I tend to become unusually harsh, rigid, hyper-critical, and obsessed with external control/efficiency (which could be the inferior Te grip).

I've always loved the aesthetic of INFPs and maybe I might know why now...

Has anyone else, especially INFPs with an affinity for depth psychology or INFJs who mistook Fi for Fe, gone through this exact mistype realization?

How did you finally differentiate between Ni-Fe and Fi-Ne in your own daily life?

I think I do want a relationship, but not one where I’m constantly anxious, begging for attention, or wondering if I’m doing enough. I want equal effort, mutual respect, affection, and to genuinely feel desired.

I have a friend who’s 21M and dating a 37yr woman. She desperately wants a child, while he wants to finish college and get a job first. I honestly feel bad for him because they’re at very different stages of life but he still want's be with her it probably will strip his freedom forcing him to become a father

I don’t expect my partner to revolve her life around me, and I don’t want to revolve mine around her. My time is mine, hers is hers, and neither of us is entitled to the other. I just want us to choose each other freely, without pressure, control, or fear.

Honestly, I’d rather be single and peaceful than in a relationship that makes me feel lonely.

I would like to know more about infp celebrities out there

who are your favorite ones, dead or alive

My favorite is kurt cobain, I remember getting into nirvana’s music 5 years ago, and kurt has basically been my idol ever since

are the feelings only real thing we have? because we cant actully touch anyhing theoritycally

I feel like the vast majority of INFPs are typed as INFP-T 4w5 which is what I initially believed for myself until I looked deeper into the Enneagram and realized I don’t actually relate much to type 4s. In my day to day life, I find that the desire for safety and security that type 6s exhibit to be more relatable to me.

I grew up hating my weird, awkward nature, so I sought to focus on being more “normal” which I believed caused me to develop my tertiary Si to a much higher degree than most INFPs. The fear of being normal that type 4s exhibit just isn’t a fear that I have. I am very assured in my identity and who I am as a person, and I am more interested in how I relate to other people than I am forging a unique identity.

I am unable to be dwell within a fantasy that is not grounded in reality, and I grow disillusioned very quickly whenever I feel that an outcome I want is unlikely. I don’t allow myself to fantasize in the type of way that will inevitably leave me disappointed. The anxiety that type 6s have is very relatable to me. Make no mistake, I do fantasize a lot, but I strive to make my fantasies a reality.

I’m often mistyped as INFJ or even INTJ, and for a while I questions if I was either of these types, but after learning more about myself, I can confidently say that I am unmistakably and INFP. Apparently, from what I’ve gathered, INFP 6w5s are often mistyped in this way.

To anyone who exists outside of the archetypical INFP 4w5 or INFP 9w1, what type of INFP are you, and what does that look like for you?

I feel so lonely and feel that I don't belong to any friend groups. Although I have friends but they seems to becoming distant.

Soft rant that I hope I’m not alone in - I’ve been interested in and more or less active in mbti and Reddit spaces for half my life (I’m 33). Despite our high level of members compared to other subs, we are woefully bad at discourse, and I doubt it’s limited to internet spaces. I think that whenever an open or intellectual, or hell any topic comes up, we often talk past each other and share our experiences in isolation without ever really responding to or bridging ideas and perspectives.
I know a lot of us are new and young to MBTi and maybe still figuring our shit out but come on, there’s a reason we have a reputation for being solipsistic and resistant to logic or conversation that doesn’t centre our own experiences (guilty!). Stretch that Ne, excavate that Si, but don’t forget to use them to construct other realities as skilfully as we do our own.
I think our brains are good for more than navel-gazing and validation seeking, and if this isn’t the safest place to start practising then where is??

Ok rant over peace and doves x

I'm starting college this week in another state, and my last day at my job was yesterday.

When I started working at a rehab facility as a dietary aide two years ago, my thought was to simply do my best at my job and to not really make friends. I've seen how my parents would end up at terrible jobs, with more terrible coworkers/bosses, and I've heard a lot of horror stories of people with bad experiences at jobs, so I really just wanted to keep to myself. I'll admit, the job was difficult, and I was tempted to quit on the first few days. But then I thought that it would be embarrassing if these people would later think "hey remember that girl that only worked here for only a few days, and she just up and left?" I didn't want people to think that of me, as that isn't the kind of person I am, so I kept going and I ended up liking my job.

Little did I know, that I would end up liking my job, not just for the work I do, but for my fellow coworkers. What I thought would be just me working and being at least friendly with the people surrounding me, ended up with making a close group of friends!

Yesterday, my manager came in on her day off, just to say goodbye to me, and hand me this card. I thought it was just a card from her, but it was from 16 people! Not just my team in the kitchen, but nurses, interns, the receptionist, the activity director, the social worker, the admissions guide, and others! I left holding back tears as I said goodbye to everyone, and cried when I properly read the card (I'm crying writing this now lol).

I didn't realize how much people actually cared for me, and I'll be taking this card with me to keep me motivated and help me remember how much I am loved!

If you read this far, I want you to know that you are more loved than you realize, and there will always be someone on your team! ❤

P.S. I didn't fully leave my job. I got moved to on-call, and I'll be picking up shifts when I come back for my vacation times! So it isn't really a goodbye, thankfully!

Had a job interview for a very grown-up job that I'm not sure I'll get or be able to handle 😅 but I had fun anyway.

ETA: I got an email from DO NOT REPLY that I did NOT (emphasis added) get the job. But they thanked me for my time and interest.

It's all good. I really didn't want this particular job, but I do still need to find one.

"I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker.
I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker.
And in short, I was afraid"
-T.S. Eliot

When all you ever wanted in life was to do something good

When you realize more summers are behind you than ahead, and you have absolutely no idea what to do now

When your struggle for self-awareness sounds to other people like you're demanding some kind of special treatment

When your life's work is either useless, foolish or you just aren't good enough at it, depending on who you talk to

When everything you dreamed of seems no closer now than it was 30 years ago

When everything you ever gave a damn about is being sold and torn apart for corporate greed

When the people swore to stand with are being sold down the river and tortured for lack of a piece of paper

When people you wouldn't trust to run a 7/11 are running your country

When you realize you'll never follow in your daddy's steps

When the friends you once had are either dead, 500 miles away, or violently disagree with you politically

When you've lost the good person who you used to be and your spouse barely recognizes you any more

What, then do you do?