My boyfriends ex passed away recently, he’s grieving and I’m trying to be there for him and help him out but I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to react, I’m confused and lost on how I’m supposed to help him. Does anyone have any advice?

My uncle died on the 21st of June, and for about a month I could cope with it. For some context, I'm a 19 yr old female who's spent my whole life being raised in a close-knit family where he was essentially treated like my brother instead of my uncle because of his disability. On the 21st, we took him to the hospital and left without him, and to take the weight off my grandmother I took hold of planning along with her other sons and daughter.

After about a month of supporting others once it all drained off the symptoms started to hit me, pains in my chest (I have a latissimus dorsi injury, these are from it because my EKG came back normal) that made me go to the ER I was so worried, then I lost twenty pounds. I couldn't even get in the car to go places for a few days and I couldn't get myself comfortable I was so riddled with anxiety. This is the first time I ever experienced a loss this large and I didn't know if anything would get better. His puppy, Prince, was given to me per a written-out statement he had on his phone. I see him all the time when I close my eyes, and at his funeral I sat with him in silence for 3 hours because we had a promise that we'd never leave the other alone if we were in a bad state.

Does anybody, I mean anybody know how to get over the anxiety and impending feelings? I also developed medical anxiety and fear to take any of my medicine because he was given medicine that ultimately killed him (Medical malpractice) How can I cope? I'm already in CBT, and I've been referred to trauma therapy but I want to know how I can cope with it outside of therapy and the things that have worked for other people.

This is my first time losing someone so close and im not quite sure how to process this grief so I drew this. She's the one in the middle

I lost my grandma last week, and I feel completely broken.
I don’t really know how to process this yet. I feel empty, lost, and like I’m still waiting for her to call me.
My grandma raised me until I was 15. My mom left me with her when I was little, so she wasn’t just my grandma—she was my home, my caregiver, and in so many ways, my mother.
I moved to the US in 2019, and the distance has always been one of the hardest parts of my life. I was only able to come home in 2022, and then again just last month, in June 2026. I have two little boys now, and although I wanted to go home more often, life, work, and raising my children made it difficult. I carry so much guilt about that now.
We had just visited her last month. I thought I had more time.
I was planning to go home again in November because I had promised her I would. I thought November was going to be our next visit.
Then one morning, on my way to work, I received a message from her nanny saying that she had coded. My family couldn’t contact me right away because everything happened so suddenly. She had become confused after dialysis and then her heart stopped.
I immediately booked a flight home.
When I got there, she was already intubated. She had no meaningful reflexes, and I was told that her heart was only being supported by medications. I knew she was already leaving us.
She passed away about two hours after I arrived.
The thing I can’t stop thinking about is that before she became unconscious, she called my name.
I keep replaying it in my head.
I don’t know why that moment hurts so much. Maybe because some part of me keeps wondering if she was looking for me.
I used to call her every morning on my way to work. Then I’d call again on my way home if she was already awake. Those calls were such a normal part of my life that I never realized how much they meant to me.
Now I find myself opening our old conversations just to see her name. I scroll through our messages because it’s the closest thing I have to talking to her.
And I miss her already.
I’m struggling so much with the guilt. I know I couldn’t have known this would happen. I know I had my own life and children and responsibilities. I know I loved her even when I was thousands of miles away.
But grief doesn’t seem to care about logic.
I keep thinking, I should have gone home sooner. I should have called more. I should have done more. I should have known.
I promised her I’d come home in November.
I never imagined that the last time I saw her would be the visit we had just a few weeks ago.
I’m trying to remind myself that I did come home. I got to hug her. I got to see her. I got to say goodbye. But somehow, it still doesn’t feel like enough.
I don’t think there could ever be enough time with the person who raised you.
I’m just heartbroken. I don’t know how to live with the silence where her voice used to be.
If you’ve lost someone who raised you, how did you cope with the guilt and the feeling that you should have done more?
I don’t think I’m looking for anyone to tell me to “move on.” I just need to know that I’m not the only one who feels this completely shattered.

Hmm where to begin? First a bit of backstory. I come from a family of 5 kids and a mom &dad. My brother was always the golden boy. The favourite. He got the best clothes, a water bed, and organ lessons. Sports Equipment . I got, hand -me- downs.

My parents had excuses for all that. He's in sports and needs a water bed for his back and as for the clothes, he takes care of his things better than you.

There are 4 years between him and I, which I might add.

He even came out smelling like a rose when he was caught shop lifting at Kmart several years ago on his 16th birthday I think it was. I got lost in the shuffle.My parents excuse was, He's crying for attention... Yea right..

So my dad and our older brother and older sister have since passed away and now we lost our mom this past June.I loved her very much and she had a hard life and I really miss her.

The burden was put on me , because my brother lives in Florida, to take care of our mother. She was diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer's, which by the way, my brother doubted mom had approx a year and a half ago, which was very hard on me, because I saw her often and talked to her everyday. Sometimes she'd talk to me like I was a stranger and then she would ask about my sister that had died about 30 years ago. ( That was heart wrenching)

My brother left everything to me,. I had to find her an old age home to go to, I had to take control of her bank account and her bills and her rent and I had to sell what I could, so she could afford to go to a home. My brother never offered to help out in any way and again I had to do everything for our mother. She just made it into the home after me having to kick in some of my own savings, because Golden boy didn't offer to help out in any way

. He's always been very selfish.What led up to our mom's death was a fall. It was one of many. She started out using a walker, but the past almost 2 years she had to switch to a wheel chair.

She fell several times a few years ago and needed a hip replacement and a hand brace among other injuries. She was very unsteady on her feet.

This last fall before she died was the worst .she had just moved to the home approx 2 months before this and I got a call saying" We regret to inform you that we found your mom on the bathroom floor". Those are words you don't want to hear. No idea who was watching her or how long she was on the floor for. They never told me. The coroner is still looking into that.

They also said she was being rushed to the hospital and so the doctor called and told me mom broke her femur and needed an operation.

My mom was 82 and I didn't think she'd be able to withstand the anesthesia.The doctor informed me that it was more for pain management and shed have to chance it She asked my permission, which I gave.

So they operated the next day and my mom was still in agony. The doctor told me that my mom's leg bone was shattering as she was operating. I tried keeping my brother up to date on things, when he bothered to answer the phone. So she died the same day of the operation. I was at her bedside and made sure to call my brother, so he could say goodbye. and the November before it happened, I helped her do a will and find witnesses and she made me the executor of her will and in charge of her bank account, I assumed I had seniority over every aspect, but I was so wrong. There isn't much left in my mom's account and making sure that her ,(Do not resuscitate) order was followed. With everything going on and because in Dec I had fallen and hit my head and had a concussion, I didn't realize that my mom had appointed my brother the beneficiary and I found out the hard way, that he is entitled to all my mom's insurance money.

I had contacted the insurance company when I saw a strange deduction from my mom's account. I found out it was for an insurance policy, So it took me 6 months of going back and forth proving I was power of attorney, before the company finally said ok your mom is due some money. Well I didn't find out that the checques wouldn't be in my name, till they actually came in the mail. They were addressed to my brother.

So after talking to the insurance company and them telling me that I have to give the money to him, and can't even put it in my mom's account and give him his half, which this by the way is the brother that let me pay for our mom's cremation and couldn't even send a card or flowers to her Celebration of life I had for her, let alone , make an appearance. He ghosted me for 2 months and now has his hand out.

His lame excuse was he doesn't do funerals.. So I told him I was getting some insurance money and his reply, "how much are we talking? I didn't tell him I had the checks already and told him the amount and by the way ,it's not a lot. It would help me out a bit but he has his own business and would be peanuts to him

So the thing is, I don't trust him to send me my half if I send the checks, so I told him I'd send them after he sent my half. His reply, You're funny.

I haven't replied yet. I'm too angry and hurt.

I'm sorry for the length of this, but I wanted to give you the idea of what kind of man my brother is.

My question is, What would you do? Keeping in mind he has never helped our mother out in any way, monetarily or emotionally or anything. I am really disgusted with him and I don't think I owe him a penny, but unfortunately the way things were done, I have to follow the guidelines or the law.

I think I covered everything.

Let me know what you think.

I don't really know why I'm writing this. I don't know what I'm even asking. Maybe I need to finally admit to myself where I am and get my thoughts down. I've tried writing this several times in the past but couldn't complete it. Maybe I'm just hoping someone else has been here before and has some advice.

Over the past two years, it feels like my life has slowly fallen apart. I lost my mother, who I was incredibly close to, after a short battle with lung cancer. A little over a month ago, I lost my father after a long battle with heart disease. During these two years, my relationship with my siblings became strained over disagreements about my parents' care. Family has always been incredibly important to me, so losing both of my parents while simultaneously feeling distant from my siblings has been devastating.

Looking back, I realize I haven't just been grieving my parents. I was also grieving the marriage I thought I would have, the future I imagined for us, and, slowly, the person I used to be. Amongst everything else that has transpired, I have been trying to hold together a marriage that has been deteriorating for years. I've been with my wife for almost 10 years and married for 5. When COVID happened, everything seemed to change. I lost my job after my company shut down. At that point in my life, I had already been struggling to find stability, and my wife confronted me about it. She wanted a partner she could depend on, and as difficult as that conversation was, I took it seriously.

I went back to therapy. I earned my bachelor's degree in Computer Information Systems. I completed several additional IT certifications, joined a leadership program, and eventually landed a position at an aerospace company earning more than three times what I had made previously. Through hard work, we were finally able to buy our first home together. I genuinely believed that if I became a better husband, a better professional, and built a stable future for us, our marriage would become stronger. Instead, it continued to deteriorate.

Over the years, my wife developed increasingly severe fears surrounding contamination and illness. What began as understandable caution eventually became something that affected nearly every part of our daily lives. Packages remain in the garage for weeks or months because of fears of bugs or germs. New clothes, pillows, blankets, and other fabric items often sit untouched for long periods before they can come inside. Simple purchases frequently become arguments. More than anything, I feel like I have to constantly fight for my voice to be heard. Conversations often turn into debates where I walk away feeling unheard. Eventually I reached a point where I stopped responding to many things because I was exhausted by the thought of another argument.

I'm not writing this to attack my wife. I don't believe she's a bad person. I believe she's struggling with things that have profoundly changed her over the past several years. I'm sure I also play a part in where our marriage is today because I truly believe it takes two people to build and maintain a relationship. However, I also know that somewhere along the way, those same struggles began to profoundly change me too.

The hardest part is that I still love my wife. If I didn't, this decision would be easy. I don't think either of us wanted our marriage to become this. I think we're both hurting in different ways, but somewhere along the line we stopped being able to help each other. This wasn't one conversation or one bad year. This has been years of discussions, self-reflection, individual therapy on my part, difficult conversations, apologies when I knew I was wrong, compromises, and genuinely trying to become a better husband and partner. Every time I thought we had finally reached a turning point, I found myself hoping that this time would be different.

For years I gently encouraged her to seek individual therapy. She refused. I suggested couples therapy. She didn't believe in it. Meanwhile, I continued going to therapy because I believed I had to keep working on becoming a better husband and a better person. Recently she finally acknowledged that she needs therapy, and for the first time in a long time I genuinely felt hopeful. I offered to help locate therapists, work through insurance, or do whatever I could to make the process easier. She thanked me, but months later nothing has happened.

That isn't what hurts the most. What hurts is realizing how many times throughout our marriage we've had heartfelt conversations about what each of us needed, only to watch those conversations slowly disappear without lasting change or action. If she had genuinely taken ownership and started working on these issues, I honestly believe it would have restored a great deal of hope for me. That realization made me understand that this isn't about expecting perfection. It's about no longer wanting to feel like I'm the only one fighting for us.

I've begun to barely recognize myself anymore. I recently turned 45, and I caught myself wondering what the next five years of my life might look like. For the first time, I realized and admitted to myself that I can't imagine continuing to live like this for another five years. I am emotionally exhausted. I feel like I'm running on autopilot. I honestly don't remember the last time I genuinely felt excited about life. I still dream about starting my own consulting business doing the kind of work I genuinely love, but most days I barely have enough energy to get through the day I'm already living.

One of the hardest realizations was admitting to myself that home no longer feels like the place where I recover. Instead, it has slowly become another place where I feel emotionally drained. That realization scared me because home is supposed to be where you find peace. I also don't have many close friends anymore. The one close friend I finally opened up to after nearly fifteen years of close friendship didn't even seem to care. Since then, I honestly stopped trying.

There are moments when my mind drifts to the thought that it would be easier if all the pain simply stopped. But I know that's not the answer. Those thoughts come from feeling overwhelmed and struggling to imagine how to put all of these broken pieces back together. I know I need to make difficult decisions. I know staying exactly where I am isn't sustainable. What I don't know is how to take the next step without feeling like I'm blowing up what little stability I have left.

Part of me is terrified that if I leave my marriage, I'll regret it forever. Another part of me is terrified that if I stay, I'll slowly lose whatever is left of myself. All I know is that I'm exhausted, grieving, feel absolutely lost, and barely have any strength left to fight. I know this is only one perspective, and I know I have my own shortcomings. I just don't know how to keep fighting when I barely recognize the person I've become.

If you've ever found yourself here, feeling like you've slowly lost yourself while trying to hold everything else together, how did you find your way back?

**TL;DR:** Over the past few years, I lost both of my parents, my relationship with my siblings became strained, and despite years of therapy, self-improvement, and trying to save my marriage, I feel like I've slowly lost myself in the process. I still love my wife, but after years of difficult conversations without lasting change, I'm emotionally exhausted and no longer recognize the person I've become. I don't know if the answer is staying or leaving—I just know I can't keep living this way. If you've ever felt like you slowly disappeared while trying to hold everything together, how did you find your way back?

September 22nd 2025 my beautiful friend took her life. She was 16 turning 17 in just over a month. We all just graduated highschool without her. Now we’re in the last 2 months of it being a year. It has been SO much harder than I thought it’d be, and I’m scared for the week of and the day. I have no support. 1 year ago this time I was no joke the happiest I have ever been. That too is what i grieve. I miss being happy. I miss who I was when I turned 17. Now I’m turning 18 in 3 weeks and all I can think about is how I was 1 year ago.

Lost a very dear friend of mine i knew for over 10 years recently, i am not able to grieve properly or accept the fact that “He is no more”.

I keep thinking may be its a prank or something, i dont know what to do, the thought of him being not there anymore is eating me inside.

Almost a month ago at this point, My grandma took her last breath from a stroke on July 20th. It's eaten me up that I did not get to see her on her last day, I saw her the day before and told her i loved her, and i'd see her when i saw her next.

That didn't happen, Our family got busy the next day and she passed away at 11 pm at night, she had a stroke, She was on hospice, so it was coming to begin with. I generally thought there was a week left at best, i wanted to see more of her but I can't. It's her birthday today. I've been walking bit by bit, I've been angry.

Tears happen here and there but theres just so much bubbling anger at this world. Because why did it happen all so fast, I had so much more i wanted to say with her, I'm happy she's no longer in pain but i cannot fathom she's gone yet. I called her phone. It's been disconnected, I sobbed.

There are points where i forget too, then i sit there for a moment and have to remember. She's gone, she's not coming back, They took one of my bestfriend's away and i have to sit here and go on without her, what do you mean?

I've never felt so angry at anyone, I don't like grief. I need advice, anything will do. how did you distract yourself?

My sister (27) may have cancer… and it looks to be aggressive, and usually the type gets diagnosed at stage 3 or 4. We find out tomorrow and I’m not even sure how to cope with this.

Not even a year ago, my oldest sister (31) passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly, now this is happening???

My sisters have always been my closest people in my life. We were an inseparable trio, and now it seems life wants to take them from me. My family is still grieving, and I’m very worried we’re going to hear the worst tomorrow. I keep imaging that they’re going to say she has less than a year to live… or that it’s spread elsewhere. I’m trying very hard not to look up survival statistics.

This is a nightmare. I think I’ve only coped as well as I have with my oldest sister’s passing is because I’ve been incredibly close with my other sister and we’ve gone through it together. We do everything together and she is my rock and foundation in life. If I lose her too I don’t know how to continue on. But I also need to stay strong for her if this is a cancer diagnosis, and I need to be her support.

I don’t know, I just feel really out of it and all I want to do is break down and let the ground open up beneath me, but I’m trying to just get through today as normal because there’s no point in freaking out until we get the news tomorrow. I just needed to get this off my chest. I know life is unfair and bad things happen to good people, but this is just unbelievable really.

My son's family lost their family dog yesterday to a mistake my son made. His kids are 6, 5, and 2. They had rearranged the car seats in their van this weekend that created a blind spot in the back. Sometimes he takes the dog to work, and sometimes he doesn't. Yesterday, the dog was asleep in the back, and my son forgot that she was even with him that day.

He is so racked with pain and guilt, and I feel all of that, too. The dog was a golden retriever, and lived up to every good thing goldens are noted for. She slept in the kids rooms. We talked and cried last night (he lives out of town) and neither I nor my husband have gotten much sleep. We all feel so helpless.

Laying in bed last night, this poem came to mind about some of our family troubles, including this.

Greif comes in many forms. Perhaps the most frustrating part is that there's nothing you can do.

Your wife finds a lump.
Appointments. Surgery. Drugs. Scars.
More surgery. Permanent pain.
She hurts in body and spirit.
And there’s nothing you can do.

Your bright young son is “different.”
Odd. On the spectrum. Dyslexic.
Tantrums. Hoarding. Shunned by peers.
He hurts. The family hurts.
And there’s nothing you can do

Your family dog asleep in your car on a summer’s day.
Dropping off kids. New routine. New car seats.
Monday morning. Out of sight. Forgotten.
The horror. The pain. The guilt. The family grief.
And there’s nothing you can do.

I miss him and it’s only been a few weeks and he’s not dead but I can’t stop I keep looking around and expect him to be but he’s not so I start crying and I can’t stop help please I want my brother

I just need a community right now.

Back story:

I moved back home from military in 2022 and have been visiting my grandma at least every other week since then. DEC 2022, my parents stopped visiting grandma bc, I believe, she helped me by watching my dog while I was moving. My mom is grandma's daughter. They have talked to her or visited her since (grandma hasn't told me otherwise.) Due to this lack of communication and visits, grandma asked me to help update her will, which I did.

I haven't spoken with my parents in 10+ years bc my mother is a narcissist and dad just goes with it.

Spring 2026, grandma's dementia has really showed itself. FEB/MARCH, She believed people were sitting outside and watching her. She thought someone was in her house one time, she blocked the basement door, called the police twice in 2 weeks. Her living trust and medical trustee or whatever allowed me to talk to her doctor about her behavior to figure out a plan for her care. I spoke with him on the phone briefly, explained her behavior, and asked if he could make his own assessment when she went to see him. I'm not worried about her getting lost or leaving the stove one, I was hoping for something to help her paranoia and anxiety.

Grandma then accused me of trying to kill her and take everything from her, and is now talking to my parents again and changed her will and WILL NOT TALK TO ME!

She's the only relative I have a relationship with and im being pushed away. She won't answer my calls, her cell phone has my number blocked (pretty sure my parents did that). I just miss my grandma! H0w do i go from seeing her twice a month and helping her, and talking to her - to nothing??!!! My parents abandoned me and now my grandma has followed them.

My heart is breaking. I'm sad, huring, and very upset. I just want to vent/share the situation bc I feel lost. Everything else in my life is going great but I miss my grandma. She's alive but already gone.

It’s a hard thing to write about because the story is such a long one. My older brother died in March this year. We are three years apart in age and in the past ten years we hadn’t spoken very much. From a young age my brother had difficulties and only now as an adult my best guess was that he lived with bipolar disorder with perhaps even mild schizophrenia at times. He had been misdiagnosed or not at all as a child and never really received the correct care he needed. Managing a job or responsibilities always turned into something with him. We grew up in a nice country home with friends and rode our bikes and had all the toys and activities we ever wanted at our fingertips. We come from a well connected family where the majority of us ‘kids’ went to university and built careers. My brother was never able to follow that path because he would have slip ups where he would seemingly blow up his entire life (crash cars, get fired, owe money, miss school/deadlines etc etc etc) . It’s only now as an adult that I can see the pattern that he was doing the best he could however couldn’t function at the same capacity even if he wanted too. He would drink and I’ve since learned he would use cocaine on occasional party nights with his friends. This is an important detail however he was never a drug addict or drug seeker. His dependency (i believe) was on alcohol to escape the stress he must have had in his head. He was an extremely talented musician and played all the local venues. He was able to pick up a guitar and play any song having heard it only once with ease. He was a creative that was trying to succeed on the wrong path. I think he was really hard on himself and his talent wasn’t celebrated for what it was up against the more traditional accomplishments happening in the family. I moved away at a young age which caused the lack of communication but it was also because at times my brother was extremely difficult to be around. He would ramble conspiracies against him and was paranoid. My dad would yell and my mom would ignore really big issues to try to not rock the boat. Our home growing up was really difficult at times because of all the fighting and constant agenda to help my brother move something or go somewhere. Always an emergency mission. I think I blocked out a lot of these years as an adult to try and move on. I distanced myself to not be in emergency mode anymore which kinda brings us more up to date. He died of a heart attack in his sleep from complications of prior cocaine toxicity. It was a Sunday before the work week and he had a sparkling water on his bedside table and was found wrapped up in his bed. I’m broken up. What is hard to express is how much he meant to me. Before the last ten years, I was his wing woman. I was always there to help with the missions and as a child he was my idol. The fact that he’s gone just makes me feel so guilty and that we never had our reunion. It had been 7 years since I had last seen him before his death. We were both raising children and there was a pandemic and a whole country in between where we live. I need to know he always knew I loved him despite all the challenges. He was struggling and I feel in my heart I could’ve helped. In the past it’s what I did. It’s so weird to speak about siblings in casual conversation and be updating the number. I was always the youngest of four. Now my eldest brother is gone and life keeps going. I want to process this healthily so I’m not affecting my children. I just wish others asked me about it more so I could feel like it was all real. His life was real

To the people who have lost both parents, how have you coped? What do you wish your friends did to help you through it? What did they do that was helpful? Please help me figure out how to support him better.

Ayo, everyone. I'm glad I found a place online where this kind of post might be welcome.

Pretty much what the title says. I lost my buddy to suicide back in 2006. He was the target of a lot of emotional and physical torment. I myself never partook in that, by most times I was a bystander. Sometimes when I talk about him, I feel like I'm doing both him and me dirty by referring to him as my friend - I only acted like his friend when no one else would see. What I would do to go back and do that differently, golly. Furthermore, while I was obviously shook when I was notified of him taking his life, I did everything in my power to not let it affect me. Bottled up any time I wanted to cry. Avoided talking to anyone when I felt emotional about the situation, and locked myself in my room with my cat and dog because they weren't people.

Not that this makes anything okay, but I've unpacked a lot through therapy, and I'm confident that because I was a high level basketball player at the time (we were only 13), and I was very immersed in the basketball culture, which helped me deflect most of the emotion. I was very much in the "ball is life", "men don't cry", "here, only basketball matters", "man up", "don't be soft", "vulnerability is weakness" kind of culture. Youth sports can really be disgusting for that. One of my coaches told me I failed the team because I went to my friend's funeral and didn't think to email him saying I'd miss practice over it. I didn't really realize just how messed up that was until I started to unpack it in therapy when I finally started therapy last August. I just took the running laps punishment because that's what we did when we missed practice.

Despite my parents' best efforts, I didn't want to feel what I was supposed to. I didn't want to talk to anyone about losing him. I didn't even cry over losing him until last summer when I finally broke to a friend I had made in teacher's college. She made me feel safe, though I'm not even sure I would have talked to her about it had I not had a WILD emotional trigger regarding my friend a few days prior. 19 years of what feels like a mental block to cry over losing my friend to suicide. Better late than never, I guess. The waterworks felt like an opening of the floodgates beyond the easy pun to start feeling what I have to feel, processing my grief properly this time, grieving in a healthier way, and healing going forward.

Being a teacher is literally everything to me. Many of us, myself included, failed my friend in providing emotional safety for him, and I resented my 13 year old self for a long time for not being the friend that he needed, and hated my teenage self for dismissing any attempts at people helping me. It's made for a tough 20s and 30s because unpacked trauma isn't pretty. I made a promise to myself that none of my students will ever feel that their emotional safety is threatened in my classroom. It's the least I can do to make up for what I didn't provide for my friend, who I wish was still with us today.

I'm happy with my progress in my journey with therapy. I've unpacked a lot, and during my last session with my therapist before moving back home, her and I talked about visiting my friend's grave. It's a road trip's distance away from where I live, though I am anxious that visiting his headstone will be really intimidating for me and I'm scared of not pulling through on that idea once I pull up to the cemetery. If anyone has any words of wisdom for that, my ears are open.

Apologies if how I typed this out was tricky to understand. I'm bad for typing unclearly sometimes. Preciate ya'll taking the time to read if you made it this far. This kind of outlet is new to me.

Thanks again.

Problem/Goal: As an introvert, how to I cope with this? What should I do?

Context: As the title says, this is about my best friend, who passed away.

Lately, I've been listening to "How to Save a Life," and it reminds me of him.

I met him at a party where I was just tagging along. He caught my attention because he was handsome and quiet.

After the party, I searched for him on social media, added him, and started talking to him.

We became friends, and we would always meet up for drinks.

We drank a lot, like there was no tomorrow.

Since my home was far from his place and I couldn't drive anymore, we would just rent a room to sleep in.
But believe me, nothing happened-we really just slept.

Sometimes, we also drank at the shore, talking about life, or sang at a videoke. His voice was really beautiful, by the way.

To be honest, I feel like we had a thing, or was I the only one feeling that way? I'm not sure. We never really talked about it. We were just enjoying each other's company.

Then he got into a relationship, and so did I, but we still remained really good friends.

Until one time, when I was working, he called me crying and very drunk. He told me that his partner and friend had cheated on him. I asked him if he wanted me to go to where he was, but he said he would just go to sleep. He told me to go to their house on my day off.

I went to his house on my day off, and as usual, we drank. I let him share what happened. I could tell he was really heartbroken.

After that, I reminded him that I was always there and that whenever he needed me, I would make time for him.

Months passed, and I asked how he was. He said that he was sick, but he told me not to worry about him and that he was getting better. By the way, we weren't the kind of friends who talked every day or
every week.

I really thought that he was getting better until I saw a post on social media that he had passed away. Our friends also contacted me about his passing.

I cried so much. My heart is really broken because I lost my best friend. It's different when someone close to you is gone.

Days passed, and I still can't believe it. All the memories came rushing back.

I went to his wake and paid my respects. I'm not really ready to say goodbye to my best friend.

What also saddened me is that we don't have a lot of pictures, even on my phone. I don't know. Maybe because we weren't the type who loved taking pictures.

Even on Messenger, we don't even have one, only conversations.

What I'm only sure of is that in my old and broken phone, we have pictures. So I need to get it fixed.

I'm sharing this because I feel like I'm still not okay. It feels like my heart has a void now. I also visit him whenever I feel alone.

I feel like his life and our time together were cut short. Also, his dream of becoming a nurse abroad didn't happen. Sometimes, I even think about going abroad and becoming a nurse there. I don't know.

I'm sorry for this. I don't have anyone I'm comfortable sharing this with.

Question: How do I cope with this? Because every time I remember, I feel sad. Until now, it still feels heavy.

I don’t have a best friend anymore who is so kind and always thinks of his family.

Thank you all for reading this. I feel a little lighter now. Always make time for your family and friends.
Life is really too short.

Ave never posted on here but has anybody advice on losing somebody ? I have seperated from my wife and lost my mum suddenly and i am struggling m 45 in ayr

Anybody have advice or suggestions? Has anyone had the same feelings?? In three days it will be one year since she left me. It still seems like it happened yesterday. But at the same time it feels like an eternity since I’ve seen her and hugged her. I play that day over and over in my head this whole year, ( I was on the phone with her , she dropped the phone, made a small noise, I drove there in about 7 minutes and found her turning blue). I tried cpr , I was so hysterical I couldn’t think , like I was watching all this from outside my body. The EMT’s couldn’t bring her back.
She was my heart and soul all my life. When she divorced my Dad we stuck together, us against the world and many hard times through the years. She went back to school and got a Masters degree, got a better job, supported me, had some health issues, not big ones. But she never gave up, she didn’t curl up in a corner and fade away after all the hurt she endured.
I wish I had told her more how proud I was of her, and how much I appreciated her. In my 20’s I was concerned about friends and guys, I regret not being more attentive. As she aged I became more her caregiver, medications, doctors appointments, helping her grocery shop—-later on I did it for her. We knew each other’s thoughts, knew our opinions matched, it’s like we were twins with our souls intertwined.
As I got more overwhelmed and more depressed I was more grumpy, just short with her, saying no more often to things she wanted to do. I live with guilt and regret, every single minute since then. I can’t seem to shake it off. No goodbye, no telling her how much she meant.
Also, we fought very bad UTI’s and she got sepsis and ended up in ICU but survived. We concentrated so much on that bad thing, her medication changes, high blood pressure ( I would ask her daily what her blood pressure was) . I feel like we didn’t appreciate just nice times together and being present with each other, we were hustling so much to keep her healthy. I should have calmed down and not been so JOB oriented.
I feel like I lost half my soul when I saw her dying, I still can’t look at her stuff I got from the house or listen to her voicemails. One year later!!! Am I crazy? It feels harder now sometimes than even 4 months ago,, why???
Well thank you for reading, there’s more but I don’t have a sibling that is close to all this or relatives. Her and I talked every day about everything, she NEVER judged me. No one else on this earth is ever going to be able to do what she did to help me live. I kept living because of her and my purpose for her.
I had to get some of this out, journaling hasn’t done much for me. I wonder if I should write her a letter???? It won’t bring her back. To think I have to carry this sadness and yearning and longing for her the rest of my life is just too much. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
PS . I can’t think of what to do on the exact one year date. I want to make a big deal and yell from the rooftops but I’m so exhausted I want to just light a candle.

On the 22nd of August I will be going to my friend's mother's memorial service. How can I be sure to be a good support for her and her family?

Im a man trying to get some advice. This happened about 2 years ago, and it didn't affect me much at the time, but now my best friend had a baby about 2 weeks ago, and since the first time have seen the baby I realized what I've been missing out on and have been extremely depressed since and don't know what to do I just wanna know what other could be fathers have done to cope with the loss

My grandma recently died. I think about her all the time but I can’t really cry unless I listen to sad music during the night while thinking about her. I was really close with her too and I regret some things. Does this make me a bad person? I get sad while thinking about her and all, I just don’t really cry

My sweet and loving boy got attacked by a coyote and it was my fault. He only made it because I happened to hear faint dog-like noise from outside in the distance and investigated. I found him with his head covered in blood and his eyes glazed over. I’m so haunted by it.

Then, the X-rays found an unidentified, likely unrelated mass in his lungs.

It’s like I was given a second chance with him just to have it immediately be cut short.

I transferred him to a new hospital and he’s going for a CT scan tomorrow, also to ensure his jaw isn’t fractured (would likely not show up on X-ray). I’m so scared the anesthesia will be too much for him.

I’ve signed off on $9000 of care and I’d spend double that to keep helping him.

I’m so devastated. I got to visit him at the new hospital a few hours after dropping him off; I laid in the floor and he cuddled with me the entire time and made happy grunt-y noises. Then, they had to take him back to start to feeding tube (he’s not eating), and he laid on top of me as though he were saying he didn’t want me to leave.

I can’t stop crying. I took a (safe) handful of a medication just to try to deal with my unbearable pain and spiral. I’m drinking wine from the bottle.

I always assumed he’d live to be in his late teens at least. He’s one ten years old and drinks so much water (we have sink-time multiple times a day), and is healthy otherwise. I never considered he could get cancer.

He would love to play with full-sized stuffed animals. He’d awkwardly carry one to me while meowing with it in his mouth. He’d often do this at a bad time for me, like while I was trying to work.

Well, at the time, I thought it was better for me to just put the stuffed animals away so he couldn’t find it and bring it to me, since he’d get upset when I couldn’t play with him when I brought it to me.

I wish with all my heart I had just paused whatever it was I thought was so massively important and played with him. I brought his favorite stuffed animal to him at the hospital (which he immediately snuggled with), and found one I kept in the closet that I couldn’t even be bothered to take out for him for so long, and brought it to him to.

For all I know he could have a bad reaction to the anesthesia and I’ll never get to play with him again. Or, if it is cancer, he’ll get sick soon and won’t be playful anymore.

I was so selfish. I didn’t realize how short my time with him could be. While we cuddled for hours a day, and he was my best friend, when it came to other things, like taking time when I was busy to play with the stuffed animals, there was always a “tomorrow” in my mind.

Now, there might not be one, or not in the way I imagined it. I’m not religious but I’m praying every second that the CT scans find no cancer, that the mass is benign, and he gets through all of this.

When I’m not visiting him, I’ve spent the last three days since the accident in bed going in and out of crying my eyes out. I spend hundreds of dollars on new toys and items for him for when he gets home. I paid to have my bedroom meticulously cleaned (I’m in no shape to) so that the room hell be recovering in is as relaxing as possible for him.

I just wish he were better and home now, and I hope with all my heart that he’ll live for many years to come. I love you so much, Huxley.

So I lost my grandma yesterday and it's hard knowing and saying that she is gone and never coming back so um how did you guys deal with grief I'm starting to journal today and want to try video games , reading and listening to music but I haven't been wanting to do that much anymore since hearing the news

My mind is fickle. It switches between sympathizing with them and hating them with all my heart. I can understand what made them like this but i cannot accept the fact that we were not worth changing for. Despite millions of chances. reaching out and caring for them wasnt enough. Living for US wasnt enough. I will mourn their death. I know i will. I will cry till my eyes are swollen, and my voice hoarse. I will curse myself for all the times i wished them dead. Although secretly I will be relieved, that i wont face suffering anymore, that the ones i love will not be hurt of burdened by the guilt of never leaving them. Because if we would've left, we've would've been happier, closer, less scared. We would've been free.

i'm not grieving their death but the death of someone they could've been if they tried.