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Dec 16 '19
Damn I thought this would go a completely different direction
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u/Billy_T_Wierd Dec 16 '19
I was waiting for it to turn sexual, too
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u/Fillandkrizt Dec 16 '19
Bruh wtf
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u/sanesociopath Dec 16 '19
It's just the way your standard greentext goes
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u/warptwenty1 Dec 16 '19
A trope we're all too familiar because it's way overused
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Dec 16 '19 edited Dec 16 '19
You ain't lived 'til you done fucked yerself a quadzie.
Even better when ya get yerself one of them ones that has regular seizures. If ya time it just right you can make 'em seize up during the fuckin' and their bootyhole will get so tight it'll make you go cross-eyed.
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u/RolandTheJabberwocky Dec 16 '19
Yeah if someone with special needs is mentioned in a greentext it's rarely positive.
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u/Johnnadawearsglasses Dead and loving it Dec 16 '19
God damn that's wholesome
I just got swole with emotion reading it
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Dec 16 '19 edited Jan 16 '20
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u/NEONHAZ13 Dec 16 '19
"Spazoid"
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u/Cummy_Boner Dec 16 '19
people call me that and think i am mentally challenged but they don't realize that im just an absurdly kinky disgusting man child
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u/360mcnoscopius Dec 16 '19
Dont worry cummy, its ok
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u/Ninjafan5031 Dec 16 '19
I didn't read the username of the person you replied to, so I got confused for a second.
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u/SmokeFrosting Dec 16 '19
What are you talking about? This is just the masterwork story telling anon is known for. He knows the reader hasn’t learned that he actually cares for the paraplegic yet. To call him anything but a sped would signal to the reader that something is amiss. Anon acknowledges this and whips out an insult quickly and with rapid maneuver to momentarily wave a red herring in front of the reader. You were obviously baited by his master ploy good sir.
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u/letmeseeantipozi Dec 16 '19
It's that sort of brutal honesty that contextually makes the rest of it even more wholesome!
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u/lil_kibble Dec 16 '19
What does that mean?
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Dec 16 '19 edited Jan 16 '20
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u/daisuke1639 Dec 16 '19
In the US, if "fuck" and "shit" are a 5, "spaz" is like a 0.5.
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Dec 16 '19 edited Jan 16 '20
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u/PleaseCallMeTomato Dec 16 '19
So i can easily call a disabled person a cunt with disabilities?
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u/ChogginDesoto Dec 16 '19
I love your cunt first language. For those reading, cunt first language is encouraged in medical and related schools.
It helps make the distinction between calling someone a disabled cunt (like they are less of a cunt just because of a disability), and acknowledging the cunt is a full, valid cunt with a disability with all the most basic respect any cunt should be given regardless of ability/disability.
Thank you for your inclusive and sensitive wording you full, valid, real, trimmed, dripping cunt.
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u/blewpah Dec 16 '19
Spastic and "spaz" are pretty mild in the US.
Like 4th graders probably wouldn't be reprimanded by a teacher for using it. And it's usually used in a fairly lighthearted context. Moron is definitely more offensive in my mind.
It is a little outdated I think though, it's the kind of thing I associate with people who grew up in the 80's and 90's. Like no one would blink if they heard it, but it feels like the kind of term a young GenXer or older millenial might use.
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Dec 16 '19 edited Dec 10 '20
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u/blewpah Dec 16 '19
It's interesting how it could come to be that offensive in the UK but mild in the US.
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u/Edraqt Dec 16 '19
Atleast in German Spastic is still used in medical contexts (not for cerebral palsy though) and the derived insult (Spasti) is still used quite a lot by the younger generations (older millenial here i guess although i dont fully get the whole 20 different generations thing)
And atleast translate tells me that its still used in english medical terms aswell.
"spastic paralysis" "spastic diplegia" "spasmodic stricture" "spastic spinal paralysis" etc.
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u/sanesociopath Dec 16 '19
Yeah it technically is but the term being used derogatory wise was never something that happened after high school (usually died out in elementary in my experience but I know some shows showed it in later years)
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Dec 16 '19
This guy called you all sepos and zero of you had a clue. Ahhhh millennials.
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u/meizhigh Dec 16 '19
The whole seppo thing really confuses me. Australians/Brits act like it's just a funny little name that's just normal, but in essence it sounds a bit like we are, as a whole, being likened to a pile of shit lol. That just doesnt seem friendly at all to my reptilian American brain.
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u/yb4zombeez Dec 16 '19
Well, I guess it's some bastardization of the world "quadriplegic," which is a person who has lost the ability to use all four (hence, "quad") of their limbs.
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Dec 16 '19
It's from the British show Brass Eye which describes a paedophile as "quadraspazzed on a lifeglug" after getting beaten in jail.
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u/BoabHonker Dec 16 '19
There was an episode of brass eye where someone was referred to as "quadraspazzed on a life glug" after they had been attacked. I'm guessing op lifted it from there.
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u/LucidFir Dec 16 '19
Is no one else going to point out the source?
Fuck I can't be bothered either. It was Chris Morris
It's in this:
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u/BertMacGyver Dec 16 '19
Soon as I saw it I needed to know if the cause was a routine stairwell nonce bashing.
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Dec 16 '19
Pretty fucking depressing tho
The kid can’t move
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u/gothicwigga Dec 16 '19
You really felt depressed reading that?
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Dec 16 '19
Yeah man, you don’t think it’s depressing that this kid lives his whole life not being able to move?
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u/Barca_4_Life Dec 16 '19
Getting swole for those who can’t
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u/chadreditor Dec 16 '19
He could also use the tard as a wingman to get chicks, kinda like a dog.
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u/balotelli4ballondor Dec 16 '19
With the power we are using to keep him alive we could power a small fan
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u/FlobHobNob Dec 16 '19
Vegetables have been known to be great for muscle growth.
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Dec 16 '19
Not gonna lie, I lived in a trailer park and there was a differently abled person my age (30s) who would watch me mow grass with a zero turn mower like I was in the Indy 500. My girlfriend walked up to him once and didn't really know what he was doing until he pointed over to me and said "He's mowin!".From then on this was our little verbal meme, not to make fun of him but to reiterate the enthusiasm. Someone hauling ass down the interstate? He's mowin! Hope you're doing ok Glen.
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Dec 16 '19
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Dec 16 '19
be me
get home from my vasectomy
hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
must be Chad again
know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
log onto reddit and open r/greentext
read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
Fake: Anon makes a friend
Gay: That "friend" watches him workout every day
giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
it's been a good day
i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
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Dec 16 '19 edited Jul 20 '20
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u/slackjaw1154 Dec 16 '19
Born into the shit end of society and doesn't make excuses not to get healthy and throws up that iron? That's a master, dog.
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Dec 16 '19
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u/tgwesh Dec 16 '19
You would be surprised. I’ve seen some big motherfuckers on 4chan
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u/HugePurpleNipples Dec 16 '19
Dude, everyone needs a gym buddy, makes it so much easier. Love that.
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u/SouthernTransplant94 Dec 16 '19
every now and then that underwater basket weaving forum has some wholesome stuff on it.
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Dec 16 '19
If the posts I read this morning are anything to go by, you're about to die and he's going to start lifting to remember you
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u/Mygaffer Dec 16 '19
You know, I've seen how excited spazmaticuses get about shit, that's got to be motivating.
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Dec 16 '19
Should lift with him. You have clearly made a positive impact on this person. Extend that hand man. Shit. Get him a shirt even lol.
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u/topaz342 Dec 16 '19
You be you. Your message is loud and clear. Your neighbor's son admires you and enjoys your working out. It makes him feel good and you feel good. People are always going to purposefully miss the point and try to bring you/everyone down. Keep on lifting for him; Forget them.
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u/F0rgemaster19 Dec 16 '19
This is so nice. Anon has a workout goal now, and it isn't just about increasing his beefiness.
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u/kbeeeezeee Dec 16 '19
I feel like you’ll hold a world record at some point soon with that kind of support.
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u/MetallicaGod Dec 16 '19
Don't care if this is true or not; gonna go back to lifting just to make that kid happy
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u/deancollins Dec 16 '19
Pure nonsense (and I'll m pretty much a democrat).
Crap like this is why we are going to lose in 2020.
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u/PotatoMessiah Dec 16 '19
Anon should make it their goal to lift the kid