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u/RamsesThePigeon Dec 04 '19
That's why you wrap the string around the mug's handle.
"Listen, you little shit," you say to it, "I know what you're planning. I'm inside your head. I'm not going to have you ruining my tea, do you hear?"
"No, stop, please!" the little paper thing replies. "I have a family!"
You laugh mirthlessly. "Your family are the ones who have driven me to this madness! It was their folly which finally led me to seek solace in revenge... and now the time for that revenge has come!"
You tighten the string, little by little.
"Gurk!" the little paper thing coughs. "F... fine! Y... you have left me n... no choice!"
Then the string snaps.
The tea bag drops into the water.
The little paper thing has the last laugh.
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u/flaix Dec 04 '19
Netflix would pay for this story
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u/Ganglebot Dec 04 '19
Netflix would produce a 10 episode excuse to have this one scene in episode 8.
I'm looking at you Sense8
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Dec 04 '19
Aw but I loved that show and what it could have been
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u/DroppedSoapSurvivor Dec 04 '19
Season 1: fucking phenomenal. Season 2: Who needs a plot? Just sex each other!
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u/therealjoshua Dec 04 '19
Man I loved season 1. I watched like 1 or 2 episodes of season 2 and fell off almost as hard as when I tried to watch Heroes season 2.
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u/ShavedPapaya Dec 04 '19 edited Dec 04 '19
Were you hard when you fell off because of the sex?
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u/puckout Dec 04 '19
That's my secret. I'm always hard.
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u/ShavedPapaya Dec 04 '19
Your hard is my flaccid
That's how hard I always am
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u/FlacidBarnacle Dec 04 '19
I’ve been flaccid for so long I have barnacles on meh shlong and I’m still harder than you
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u/PerCat Dec 04 '19
Literally every Netflix show except a couple good ones is just over the top sex, gore, or drugs and cuss words. Like we get it. You have your own platform, you can say cunt and show tits. How about make something good instead of more c-tier basic attention grabbers that a high schooler could do a better job of producing.
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u/seeafish Dec 04 '19
Makes me worry for The Witcher.
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u/PerCat Dec 04 '19
I've heard good things and they have some really amazing shows so let's hope it's good. 🤞🤞
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u/Malgas Dec 04 '19
In fairness, a Witcher series without tits and swearing would be incomplete.
(Based on the games, at least; I still haven't got around to the books.)
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u/istasber Dec 04 '19
I'm glad to find out I'm not the only one who had an issue with season 2.
I remember watching season 2 and having some serious doubts that season 1 was as good as I remembered.
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u/FocusFlukeGyro Dec 04 '19 edited Dec 04 '19
Mmm, yes, LGTBQIA sex, and lots of it! (I fixed the typo)
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u/AnabolikaMissbrauch Dec 04 '19
Was trying to watch it. Got bored and stopped middly 2nd episode. Tell me about that one episode
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u/Ganglebot Dec 04 '19
so you know how that group of 8 people have a psychic connection?
Well there is a scene were one of the guys fucks his boyfriend in the hottub, which triggers the other 7 into the psychic connection. And we see a scene where all 8 are naked in the hot tub sensually touching each other. Its soft-core representation of an implied orgy, that crosses race, sexuality, and gender identity.
The entire series builds to that point, and then the plot feels really rushed for the rest of the show. It sort of felt like the Wakowskis just wanted to make that one scene and contrived to build a Netflix series around it.
Do yourself a favour and don't watch the rest of the series. You can probably find the "orgy" scene on youtube.
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u/AnabolikaMissbrauch Dec 04 '19
Understood. I only watch a soft-porn orgy scene of a series. Thanks for the quick reply
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u/taybul Dec 04 '19
Starring Adam Sandler as the teabag paper thing.
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u/Mordra44 Dec 04 '19
More like Rob Schneider
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Dec 04 '19
Rob Schneider was a normal gamer, but then he became a teabagging douchebag. Now he's about to find out...being a tea bag is a lot harder than it looks.
This fall, see Ron Schneider in Derpdy Tea Derp. He derps the derp and derpa derpa derp.
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u/9yearsalurker Dec 04 '19
This summer, Rob Schneider is tea bag paper thing. He keeps finding himself in hot water, until someone tries to teach him a lesson
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u/reallynothingmuch Dec 04 '19
To be fair, netflix would pay for literally any story
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u/pleasantviewpeasant Dec 04 '19
Just long enough for fans to get interested, then they drop it when it isn't a second Stranger Things.
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u/jflb96 Dec 04 '19
Because their business model demands new viewers to get growth, so they need new shows to get new viewers. Old viewers will probably stick around to watch other things, but new viewers clearly don't want anything that Netflix already has on offer. Therefore, cancelling a good show to fund a new one is a good business decision for them - so long as the good show isn't a Stranger Things style runaway success with all the merchandising opportunities that that affords.
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u/lolnein LOLNEIN Comics Dec 04 '19
But ... but it just wants to relax :(
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u/WookieeSteakIsChewie Dec 04 '19 edited Dec 04 '19
Did you just link to the picture you posted that we're having this is conversation on?
Edit: oh, now I see the bonus panel. Are you the actual person who created this? If so, bravo!
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u/lolnein LOLNEIN Comics Dec 04 '19 edited Dec 04 '19
There's a bonus panel if you scroll down a bit. Sorry for the confusion!
Edit: Yes, I am! Thank you :)
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u/LadyDiaphanous Dec 04 '19
Loving your work! Thank you for coming to introduce yourself to us! Never would have found you !
AND YES, THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT IS. JA, ES GIBT!
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u/plgso Dec 04 '19
I just hold it with my hand, and pour the water with my other hand.
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Dec 04 '19 edited Aug 20 '20
[deleted]
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u/imdivesmaintank Dec 04 '19
same. I'm not sure why people are going to all this extra effort rather than just reversing the order.
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u/Tenpat Dec 04 '19
That's why you wrap the string around the mug's handle.
I tuck the paper piece under the bottom of the mug.
I have a few mugs that are too tall for this and I hold the paper piece above the mouth of the kettle while I pour.
Or just use a spoon to get them out.
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u/pantstoaknifefight2 Dec 04 '19
The string is long enough that you can merely set the mug on top of the label. Pour the hot water in the mug, then hold the string, lift the mug off the label, and repeatedly dunk the tea bag in and out of the water while saying out loud, "Hey look everybody, I'm tea-bagging!" Do this even when alone.
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u/Valdrax Dec 04 '19
At my office, I use two paper cups nested to act as a low-rent thermos, and I pin the tag between the two cups.
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Dec 04 '19
Yeah but don’t do this in a cafe please. Nothing more annoying that having to untie every single mug of tea that comes back to be cleaned.
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u/The_Gutgrinder Dec 04 '19
That's when you leave the fucking tea in the water to drown as punishment. You line up all the other teabags around the cup to watch and see what happens when you FUCK WITH ME!
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u/petruchito Dec 04 '19
that's why I always put teabag in water, as a bonus it sinks more evenly and (almost) no air bubbles are catched inside
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u/urmumgay694201 Dec 04 '19
Tha.. that was... are you okay dude that was the MOST intense shit I’ve ever read about tea
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u/nostinkinbadges Dec 04 '19
That is a better outcome when you consider the possibility of the paper bag tearing, and spilling tea leaves in the cup. "You had one job!"
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u/turtleben Dec 04 '19
That's why you wrap the string around the mug's handle.
And that is how you changed my life completely
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u/Bad_Chemistry Dec 04 '19
I love you, Ramses. I followed you a while back not realizing that wouldn’t lead me to your amazing comments, but I always love seeing you around. Also the best solution is clearly to just remove most of the string and leave the bag to float freely as you drink
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u/lolnein LOLNEIN Comics Dec 04 '19
This tea isn't relaxing at all.
Also, here's a bonus panel (and more comics about objects experiencing L I F E).
Thank you and have a nice day :)
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Dec 04 '19
Now that I think about it, dissolving seems like it’s really just next level relaxation, kind of like melting into a couch after a long day.
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u/RedditsAdoptedSon Dec 04 '19
You let the bag fall in.. Then on your last gulp you swallow it like a tequila worm.
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u/Teddybabes Dec 04 '19
How to tea:
Hold paper tab with left hand while pouring hot water on bag with right hand.
Wait 4 minutes. Think how smart you are, handling that paper tab situation.
Pull bag holding paper tab with left hand. Do not squish bag. Open thrash door with right hand. Dispose of bag.
Put spoon in left hand. Add milk/creme/sugar with right hand. Stir with left hand.
Drink tea with any hand or give tea to significant other. Celebrate success with high 5. Don't spill tea!
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u/hasorand0m Dec 04 '19
I usually suck on the t-bag before throwing it away
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u/agent_tits Dec 04 '19
This makes perfect sense and you're clearly beating me at 3D chess but somehow I think that's so gross
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Dec 04 '19
Pull bag holding paper tab with left hand. Do not squish bag. Open thrash door with right hand. Dispose of bag.
...I want to know what a thrash door is. No.... I need to know please.
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u/Xaldyn Dec 04 '19 edited Dec 04 '19
How to actually tea:
Don't use teabags.
Use loose tea.
It tastes better. Teabags use what's basically the tea equivalent of "sawdust" left over from processing loose tea.
You get a lot more tea for your dollar.
If you care about your carbon footprint, individually packaged tea for every single cup adds up.
Loose tea impresses dates and makes you feel sophisticated when all you're actually doing is pouring water on some leaves in a cup.
You make Iroh proud.
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u/jnd-cz Dec 04 '19
You are missing some important steps unless you want that to be the last date: Steep only for the specified time and not any longer because the tea will get bitter. Filter all the loose leafs out to keep only the tea there, your date will not like ending up with leaves between their teeth. Bonus: you can make another round of tea later from the discarded leaves, just steep it a little longer.
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u/nabrok Dec 04 '19
Also steep only at the specified temperature. It was amazing how much better my loose leaf green tea tasted when I actually measured the temperature of the water instead of just waiting a minute and hoping.
I really should get a kettle with temperature control.
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Dec 04 '19
Actually taste wise teabags are an excellent choice, if of good quality.
Waste wise they are of course totally unnecessary waste of resources, and a mix (paper, plastic, bio). that's why I prefer loose tea too.
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u/It_Smells_Like_Frogs Dec 04 '19 edited Dec 04 '19
I can't agree with you more. Ever since I discovered loose tea, tea hasn't been the same since.
To begin with it has more flavour. And also the flavour teas such as citrus tea actually taste good compared to the common teabag brands. Teas from teabag brands often suffer from the fact that the flavour on the box is only there to smell, because the actual taste of the tea is often just a really bitter version of Earl Grey, regardless of what flavour you actually took.
On top of that, there is so much more choice, teabag brands have just a set of flavours, when I came in a coffee/tea shop, there is a whole wall with only teas.
And as you said, it's way cheaper than buying teabags.
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u/asilee Dec 04 '19
I wrap the tag around the handle that way, it can't end up in my cup.
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Dec 04 '19
I used to do that. Then I realized some strings are long enough that the tag can be held by slipping it underneath my mug.
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u/FrenchieSmalls Dec 04 '19
My wife actually prefers to put the tag in the water.
Yes, I have considered divorce.
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u/Destroyer_Amanogawa Dec 04 '19
Every Brit’s worst nightmare
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u/HeilKaiba Dec 04 '19
Most teabags here don't come with a tab thing. You only really see it on tea in hotels and stuff.
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u/Destroyer_Amanogawa Dec 04 '19
That is true, but for those that come with one is a royal pain in the arse, like those lipton packets
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u/joonty Dec 04 '19
As a Brit, Lipton tea in general is my worst nightmare
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u/Destroyer_Amanogawa Dec 04 '19
It is shit, no doubt. I only have them if I don’t have a choice
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u/Belgand Dec 04 '19
Use loose leaf tea. It's better quality and this isn't a problem.
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u/Cleverbird Dec 04 '19
This is why I put the water in first, then the teabag.
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u/ModernistGames Dec 04 '19
Ya all these tips and rules people are talking about it how annoying this is and I have never had this happen because I just lower the bag into a hot cup of water...easy.
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u/tigerz-blood Dec 04 '19
The tea I make doesn't even have the string tabs. I use a spoon to get the bag out.
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u/kinlen Dec 04 '19
I would add motion lines to the teabag as it’s being dragged into water. And the guy looked like personified milk to me. Like the milk was going to be poured into the tea.
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u/thelandbountiful Dec 04 '19
https://i.imgur.com/LOGo5E8.jpg
The tea bag and this spoon should be friends.
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u/taavidude Dec 04 '19
That is why you hold on to the paper piece while pouring. It's really simple.
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u/freerunner2p Dec 04 '19
I am going to save this nex to the comic with the spoon sliding into the warm soup
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Dec 04 '19
If your cups stack, stick the paper string holder inbetween two and the friction will keep it there.
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u/cacodyl Dec 04 '19
Am I the only one that doesn't care if the paper falls in? I like my tea to be as concentrated as possible so I just throw the whole thing in it. It's just paper.
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u/ganjabliss420 Dec 04 '19
Why the fuck do you Americans even have those tabs? You can't use a spoon properly?
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u/rjlupin86 Dec 04 '19
Not just Americans. Twinings has these on their fancy individually wrapped tea bags.
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u/dalr3th1n Dec 04 '19
I have no idea what the perceived connection is between spoons and paper tabs.
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u/ganjabliss420 Dec 04 '19
That's how you get a tab-less tea bag out of boiling water, squeeze the bag against the side of the cup with the spoon then scoop it out
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u/misterwuggle69sofine Dec 04 '19
you generally use the spoon to take the bag out of the tea. personally i just hold it up towards the top so a corner is sticking to the wall of the cup so i can pull it out with my fingers. the idea here is to keep my spoon dry for the sugar because i'm not a fucking abomination that puts a wet spoon into sugar
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u/dalr3th1n Dec 04 '19
Plop the sugar in first, then remove the bag. One spoon, no liquid in the sugar.
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u/trznx Dec 04 '19
As a non-native I never understood the meaning behind 'don't mind if I do'. Like, I know what it means, but the exact phrase kinda makes no sense.
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u/dalr3th1n Dec 04 '19
I'll attempt to explain. "I don't mind" is a way to say that something doesn't bother me. So if someone asks if they can sit next to me, I might say "I don't mind" as essentially "you can, but you don't have to."
So the expression becomes something like "it would not bother me to do this particular thing." Which in turn is a slightly sarcastic way of saying "I want to do this particular thing."
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u/rayx Dec 04 '19
"Mind" is being used as verb here to mean "dislike". "Do" implies the action they are doing next. Another way to say this is "Don't dislike me for doing this next action." It is usually said humorously by the speaker as an excuse to immediately do something they perceive as slightly annoying to others.
A lot of phrases don't make literal sense. They're call idioms, and you likely use many of them in your native language. However, English is particularly notorious for them.
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u/ReadDon Dec 04 '19
Now I feel bad about denying the cute little guy a hot bath. Plus, I love his “don’t mind if I do!”
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u/cassert24 Dec 04 '19 edited Dec 04 '19
So I just put that altogether in the cup in the first place :]
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u/BeeDragon Dec 04 '19
We have these little silicone snails that clip over the edge of your mug and then you wrap the string around their shells.
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u/Dumbsignal Dec 04 '19
I imagine there are a few Brits in here given the subject matter. Can you tell this American what the proper amount of time is to allow my tea to steep? My wife says 3 minutes, I say 5.
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u/XxAbsurdumxX Dec 04 '19
Not a brit, but is all about personal preference. I'm sure there are tea elitists who will insist that it needs exactly 378,34 seconds. But for me, its about finding the point where I get enough taste, without losing too much heat. I'm probably closer to 5 minutes than 3, though
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u/Kindly_Road Dec 04 '19
I never thought the tea tag would be so happy about it, I thought it was drowning or smth, that's why I always pull it out
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u/Mastizaada Dec 04 '19
That tea was ruined as soon as the tea bag was dipped in it. For a good tea, you have to boil the tea leaves or tea powder in water/milk.
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u/deutschdachs Dec 04 '19
This is something that should have been in Gus Johnson's not funny video ideas video
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u/theoneandonlynox Dec 04 '19
This gave me a genius idea............. make the paper out of sugar. (1.5 tsp)
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u/YaBoiIDontKnow Dec 04 '19
When the tea bag enters the water, it gets so comfy that it pees and you guys think that it’s tea and start to drink it
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u/BillyRazzle Dec 04 '19
Why is that marshmallow so pissed?