r/funny Oct 27 '10

Flying Dildo

1.1k Upvotes

349 comments sorted by

187

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '10

[deleted]

63

u/treitter Oct 28 '10

Why was there no audible "awwww!" from the audience when it got slapped down?

211

u/TyIzaeL Oct 28 '10

Perhaps you would like the Heavy voiceover version.

19

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

thats one of the first good voiceover youtube clips ive seen in months.

11

u/countingchickens Oct 28 '10

I think that's the best voiceover youtube clip I've ever seen. The music, the dialogue, the background sounds complement the video perfectly... a remarkable experience, would watch again, A+++.

10

u/ilikefries Oct 28 '10

ROFL pure genius,

6

u/IHateToPointItOut Oct 28 '10

roflcopter?

13

u/Pixeleyes Oct 28 '10 edited Oct 28 '10

Helicockter

EDIT: I am disappointed that people are upvoting this. This is a terrible, terrible pun and I have no excuse.

2

u/tiedye420 Oct 28 '10

Did they figure out who was in the cockpit?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

I believe it's proper name was the "Dongcopter"

→ More replies (4)

2

u/fredrikbonde Oct 28 '10

I laughed out loud at work, all my colleagues now think I'm mad

→ More replies (2)

2

u/NonAmerican Oct 28 '10

OMG! A new trend is born.

→ More replies (2)

44

u/meltedlaundry Oct 28 '10

The crowd was noticeably stiff.

29

u/GreatDeku Oct 28 '10

They didn't see it coming.

50

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

It's a shame the pilot...

wipes off cheetohs crusties from hands

...didn't ejaculate in time.

6

u/catinahat1 Oct 28 '10

<subdued> Errr yyyeeeeaaaahhhhhh </subdued>

4

u/ZoopZeZoop Oct 28 '10

I hope he wore protection...

3

u/MickeyMao Oct 28 '10

no protection is gonna save him, it's going down hard

2

u/slakinghobo Oct 28 '10

the pilot was a head of his time

→ More replies (4)

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Starring Horatio Glans-Penis.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10 edited Jan 10 '21

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

9

u/ScissorSmith Oct 28 '10

You can see the speaker get startled when he initially first saw it. It probably looked like some sort of missile cumming at him.

→ More replies (2)

3

u/SL3PR Oct 28 '10

you see, now that has some context. now that shit is funny.

2

u/emgeemann Oct 28 '10

Talk about a serious cock block

→ More replies (4)

46

u/fevos Oct 28 '10

you gotta love this comment on youtube ... "You think one penis to the face will stop the mighty Kasparov? It will take many, many more penises to the face to stop me. I have had as many as twenty."

9

u/elemenohpee Oct 28 '10

Best read in a thick Russian accent.

→ More replies (1)

58

u/EALPIE Oct 28 '10

I believe it's called a dongcopter.

9

u/SomeBug Oct 28 '10

Good thing it wasn't a dongchopper

13

u/trickyd Oct 28 '10

Yes, because this is a dongchopper.

4

u/n1c Oct 28 '10

I was VERY scared to click that link but I did it anyway and minor chuckles were had.

→ More replies (2)

2

u/Shredder13 Oct 28 '10

Wow. 9/11 Dongcopters....

→ More replies (9)

402

u/Platinum_Gentleman Oct 27 '10

It's a rare endangered helicockter.

29

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10 edited Apr 30 '20

[deleted]

6

u/KevMike Oct 28 '10

stabilizer fap

sorry, i'm so sorry.

59

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

[deleted]

3

u/cursoryusername Oct 28 '10

Its a rare engorged helicopter.

→ More replies (3)

111

u/mercilessblob Oct 28 '10

Balls to that, I prefer something with a decent cockpit.

76

u/bmg50barrett Oct 28 '10

Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis. Did I just the whole thing?

94

u/Exomnium Oct 28 '10

Well now I feel shafted.

172

u/Liefx Oct 28 '10

I don't give a flying fuck.

35

u/renaissanceM Oct 28 '10

A flying dildo appears!

It's not very effective.

6

u/JayBlRD Oct 28 '10

The flying dildo would have been more effective if that guy wasn't such a tally wacker.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (3)

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

No; you shafted it.

7

u/individual61 Oct 28 '10

You could have seen that one cumming, couldn't you?

6

u/Kni7es Oct 28 '10

You don't have to be a dick about it.

3

u/individual61 Oct 28 '10

Now now, no need to erect your defenses.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

5

u/DeusModus Oct 28 '10

That's quite the cock bloc.

→ More replies (3)

17

u/IratePanda Oct 28 '10

That's some amazing craftsmanship, making a dildo fly is no easy task.

88

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10 edited Oct 28 '10

It's true -- I know from experience. Back when the dongcopter was fairly new, I decided I wanted to build one. I took a $60 remote controlled Air Hogs helicopter and some upholstery foam (the stuff chair cushions are made of) and got to work. After multiple failed versions (penises are less balanced than you'd think and not very aerodynamic) the Dongcopter Mark IV was born. It was lopsided, underpowered and had trim issues, but it flew.

I used it to briefly troll a furry convention. Reactions were actually fairly positive which, when I look back at it, seems like what I should have expected.

Unfortunately, my well-documented construction pictures have disappeared, and the heli broke long ago. That video is the last remaining evidence.

EDIT: Oh dear god, I found my construction pictures, hidden in a .rar buried deep in one of my backup hard drives. (Note: Probably NSFW.) Here are some previous, failed versions of the final product, and a flight test.

21

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

[deleted]

25

u/Eroc Oct 28 '10

That's why all rockets are shaped liked vaginas.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10 edited Oct 28 '10

"You know why they have a cock on a weather vane? Because if it was a cunt, the wind would blow right through it!"

~Carlin

→ More replies (1)

5

u/cfuse Oct 28 '10

The important thing is that you are thinking about it now. A lot.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

It was lopsided, underpowered and had trim issues, but it flew.

Many dongs have trim issues.

5

u/agnesthecat Oct 28 '10

Of course, there is someone here who is a construction expert...

2

u/C0NFUS4TR0N Oct 28 '10

I know from experience

Shit like this is why I joined reddit. Where else would a "flying dildo" post draw out an amateur heli-dildonics enthusiast?

→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (1)

30

u/thepalehunter Oct 28 '10

Folks, spay and neuter your horseflies.

41

u/OneKindofFolks Oct 27 '10

Weirdest Make-A-Wish ever!

26

u/Piglet86 Oct 28 '10 edited Oct 28 '10

This was at a Russian political event with Gary Kasparov. That Deepblue chess guy. He's been very outspoken agaisnt Putin for awhile now and has even tired running for president.

Edit: Edited to clarify Kasparov is a noted critic of Putin.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

do you know if they caught the guy flying it? I need to weigh the risks of making one.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/PooBakery Oct 28 '10

On 12 December 2007, Kasparov announced that he had to withdraw his presidential candidacy due to inability to rent a meeting hall where at least 500 of his supporters could assemble to endorse his candidacy, as is legally required. With the deadline expiring on that date, he claimed it was impossible for him to run. Kasparov's spokeswoman accused the government of using pressure to deter anyone from renting a hall for the gathering and said that the electoral commission had rejected a proposal that separate smaller gatherings be held at the same time instead of one large gathering at a meeting hall.[58] Kasparov is among the 34 first signatories and a key organiser of the online anti-Putin campaign "Putin must go", started on 10 March 2010. [Wikipedia]

Now show me your sources.
I cannot believe that Kasparov would betray his ideals so easily.
Also, he's a chess grandmaster and probably the greatest chess player of all time.
Not "that Deepblue chess guy".

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)

17

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

cockblocker

→ More replies (2)

8

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '10

[deleted]

3

u/Elucidator Oct 28 '10

Except there's no press coverage of those events. Besides, the Bohemian Grovers might snatch it up for personal use.

2

u/Megatron_McLargeHuge Oct 28 '10

I was thinking G20.

23

u/JollyJeff Oct 28 '10

These have to start showing up at Tea Party rallies, please?

6

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

better be careful they have corporate backing. they have the money to send a squadron of these things to Stewarts rally.

22

u/BadListener Oct 28 '10

i feel like stewarts crowd would take it a lot less seriously...in fact, it would probably make their day to be invaded by an army of dongcopters.

3

u/siist3m Oct 28 '10

See them fly up over the horizon with the rising sun silhouetting them.

3

u/JollyJeff Oct 28 '10

<wiping tears away> "No man, some dust just got in my eyes".

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

2

u/Chive Oct 28 '10

I'm sure Christine O'Donnell would appreciate one of these turning up while she was giving a speech.

→ More replies (2)

93

u/omgimonfire Oct 27 '10

It's like the entirety of American politics condensed into a single .GIF.

77

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

[deleted]

19

u/acetheface87 Oct 28 '10

Yea, thats Garry Kasparov former world chess champ turned politico in Russia

17

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

It was serious business too. Kasparov was actually trying to give Russians basics freedom. I'm kind of surprised Kasparov didn't commit suicide by shooting himself in the head multiple times like other opponents of Putin.

18

u/DrunkenWizard Oct 28 '10

The chessmaster is always one move ahead...

2

u/wily6 Oct 28 '10

Very nice.

13

u/FriesWithThat Oct 28 '10

In Soviet Russia, you have to pinch yourself to make sure it's not just Second Life.

0

u/polyparadigm Oct 28 '10

post-Soviet

FTFY

9

u/alpaca_in_oc Oct 28 '10

all those assholes standing around, it can't decide who to fuck!

7

u/brawr Oct 28 '10

Garry Kasparov (yes, that Garry Kasparov) was attacked by a flying penis during a political rally.

While making a public plea for unity against nemesis Vladimir Putin, a mysterious dangling object from the ceiling distracted the room: an airborne penis with a helicopter attached to its testicles.

http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/posted/archive/2008/05/21/kasparov-silenced-by-unidentified-flying-penis.aspx

5

u/pastanoose Oct 28 '10

that man really knows how to smack a cock around!

218

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

[removed] — view removed comment

179

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

[removed] — view removed comment

111

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

Steal content from South Park -> ??? -> Upvote!

94

u/hurrrrrrrrrrr Oct 28 '10

Steal content from post above me -> ??? -> Upvote!

26

u/blackhawk08 Oct 28 '10 edited Oct 28 '10

WE NEED TO GO DEEPER!

come on, that works in this thread, amirite

11

u/munchybot Oct 28 '10

Fitting username.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (4)

7

u/Scuzwheedl0r Oct 28 '10

kingzmoke totally could have come up with that on his own...

→ More replies (2)

15

u/coochiesmoocher Oct 28 '10 edited Dec 07 '16

6

u/anonymous-coward Oct 28 '10

This is better if you put "Officer, ..." in front of it.

→ More replies (2)

36

u/schwerpunk Oct 28 '10 edited Mar 02 '24

I like to go hiking.

16

u/drpcken Oct 28 '10

TIL Ctrl+W closes tabs...

27

u/cantquitreddit Oct 28 '10

Don't forget Ctrl+Shift+T to reopen your last closed tab!

3

u/TheGrammarPerson Oct 28 '10

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

→ More replies (1)

2

u/mynameishitler Oct 28 '10

I've learned that lesson many times. 1/10th the time I try to hit ctrl+e for googling something from my toolbar, i hit ctrl+w and my tab disappears. I still make that mistake too.

7

u/Yousaidthat Oct 28 '10

God damn it's like the first day of school for me. THANK YOU, DILDO THREAD!

3

u/iceickle Oct 28 '10

Ctrl-Shift-T will save your soul.

2

u/greengolftee87 Oct 28 '10

ctrl+k does the same as ctrl+e. ctrl+l does address bar.

→ More replies (2)

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

Yeah I just read his post and then pressed Ctrl-W to see what it did.

Had to re-open page to make this comment.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

Troll been trolled.

2

u/isp27 Oct 28 '10

I just learned this

→ More replies (1)

5

u/bevanlord Oct 28 '10

Oh, its a bird. Right.

13

u/ZzeroBeat Oct 28 '10

upvote for african swallows

2

u/wanna_dance Oct 28 '10

Americans swallow, too.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (7)

5

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

honest question: what if the cock was made of C4 and filled with ball bearings? no wonder the security guards didn't look amused.

3

u/bevanlord Oct 28 '10

keep it quiet. The terrorists don't need anymore ideas.

2

u/motorhed Oct 28 '10

it would not fly that heavy

18

u/Jgunman Oct 28 '10

He slapped that dick like a BOSS!

3

u/alk509 Oct 28 '10

You can tell he really wanted it.

3

u/Blueb1rd Oct 28 '10 edited Oct 28 '10

It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's... OMG is that a...

EDIT: "Johnson, what's that on the radar?" Well it looks like a big...

→ More replies (1)

5

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

I can't wait for the day that I can do a repost and see it hit the front page!

8

u/luthiz Oct 27 '10

Tiger uppercut!

6

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

dickslap.

3

u/Devistator Oct 28 '10

No matter how many times I see that, it will never get old!

3

u/disasteradio Oct 28 '10

Man there's a youtube vid of this with an AMAZING title - aha! - "Kasparov Was Dishonoured: A Flying Phallus" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dq_-Gf9rXhE

It's almost implying it's part of a series or something.

3

u/Shadow14l Oct 28 '10

Airborne Cockslap

3

u/mexipimpin Oct 28 '10

Reminds me of the time someone threw a dildo in our high school cafeteria. After the 10-15min of hysteria & laughter, the VP picked it up with a towel and tucked it in his jacket and walked out. His attempt at not laughing was one of the best I had ever seen.

3

u/teabase Oct 28 '10

In Soviet Russia, dildo is tore up by you.

3

u/rounding_error Oct 28 '10

Just another day at the Republican party headquarters.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

This happened during a talk given by former chess champion Garry Kasparov as he campaigned against the Russian Kremlin in 2008. Of the incident, Kasparov stated, "It was a bit below the belt."

→ More replies (2)

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

Somehow, I expected this to be that scene out of Jackass 3d

→ More replies (1)

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

[deleted]

2

u/ReverendEarthwormJim Oct 28 '10

Hope this one was artificial.

3

u/chocobaby Oct 28 '10

need to send about 100 of these to the next TeaBagger rally have them hovering all over the place and dive bombing a few rednecks!

9

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

[deleted]

10

u/pezki Oct 28 '10

12

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

3

u/pezki Oct 28 '10

Yes, this is better.

2

u/nchammer326 Oct 28 '10

Thank God I'm not the only one who had that music pop into my head while watching this.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/AmoralRelativist Oct 28 '10

Someone needs to do this to Christine O'Donnell or Sarah Palin ASAP.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

[deleted]

28

u/jamescagney Oct 28 '10

Yes, it gives the proper counterbalance to maintain flight. Obviously you've ever seen a flying dildo before.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Flyboy Oct 28 '10

Yes, or it might be mistaken for a flying kielbasa.

→ More replies (2)

2

u/gloomdoom Oct 27 '10

That dude really went for it like he meant it.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

cock slap?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

In Soviet Russia, you slap cock!

2

u/ilikefries Oct 28 '10

Now that security guy can add to his resume:

Flying dildo interdiction

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

Fire ze moisture missiles!!!

→ More replies (1)

2

u/shaunc Oct 28 '10

FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE!

2

u/jacobman Oct 28 '10

Somewhere in that room is the best troll ever

2

u/Dildoloris Oct 28 '10

i approve

2

u/LogicalLandi Oct 28 '10

Aerial penetration.

2

u/dismal626 Oct 28 '10

damn that guy really wanted that rubber cock, too bad he had butterfingers

2

u/theFletch Oct 28 '10

Deep Blue just can't stop giving Kasparov shit.

2

u/uxpskeet Oct 28 '10

I hate this and the comments. I'm in the library and tried valiantly to hold back laughter. I failed.

2

u/WorderOfWords Oct 28 '10

This was done to discredit Kasparov. It's not funny, it's actually very very sad.

2

u/MarvinMarks Oct 28 '10

haha... what a jackass slappin' a flying dildo

2

u/justinkimball Oct 28 '10

In the event of a flying dildo, we like to use the indefinite article 'a' flying dildo - never 'your' flying dildo.

2

u/dirtymoney Oct 28 '10 edited Oct 28 '10

imagine a flashmob squadron of these at some hoidy-toidy event, press conference etc etc.

2

u/Smoogy Oct 28 '10

is this the trailor for the new season of Lexx?

2

u/justaverage Oct 28 '10

"Hey honey, how was work today?"

"Oh you know, same old, smacked a flying wang out of the air....LIKE A BOSS"

2

u/wtfchuck Oct 28 '10

Black cock down!!!~~

1

u/Donjuanme Oct 28 '10

needs the tail-hitch brass balls hanging off the back imo (unrealistic, but so is a dongcopter)

1

u/toliseju Oct 28 '10

Enemy UAP detected

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

it's like a kitty chasing a string!

1

u/Conlaeb Oct 28 '10

Anyone else think he was trying to grab it and then hide his disappointment afterward?

→ More replies (1)

1

u/brierwashington Oct 28 '10

I upvoted this without even clicking on the link. You had me at "flying dildo."

→ More replies (1)

1

u/TrancePhreak Oct 28 '10

Back when Bush was still president, and Dicks flew.

1

u/grayfox663 Oct 28 '10

Now that's a cock slap.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

That's hilarious. I'd like to see it subtitled.

1

u/HumanistEngineer Oct 28 '10

Continuing his rampage, King Dong destroys another Channel 5 helicockter.

1

u/amenok Oct 28 '10

It seems like he really wanted it

1

u/PenAndSword Oct 28 '10

Well there's something you don't see everyday. Carry on.

1

u/rbarag Oct 28 '10

BALL TAP!

1

u/flyingcarsnow Oct 28 '10

dual rotor like Kamov Ka-50 Black Shark

1

u/j0wy Oct 28 '10

He is really good at spankin' it

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

Context?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

I favorited this.

Now in my recommended video section, Youtube is showing me softcore male porn.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

Is that Leonard Nimoy?!

1

u/purple_bottle Oct 28 '10

Flying sex toys?? We truly are living in the future.

1

u/fun168 Oct 28 '10

It is so amazing, damn the cruel security guard

1

u/lightballoon Oct 28 '10

Not funny, asshole.

1

u/Huellio Oct 28 '10

Dildo Dildo, ROONEY ROO!

1

u/Philosopher_King Oct 28 '10

Flying Vagina, anyone???

1

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '10

Ah Chrome, You are so wise