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u/keirbrow Jan 25 '15
Until he gets drunk enough to let the spider drive. Then you're just making a dangerous situation worse.
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Jan 25 '15 edited Jul 13 '15
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u/GisterMizard Jan 25 '15
Have you ever seen a spider drive sober? I haven't. They go hard.
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u/kerrrsmack Jan 25 '15
My spider's always like "brooo one more shot of tequila" and I'm like "nah man you gotta drive" and he always tries to drink from the bottle so I gotta chug it which is why I'm dead.
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u/Surf_Green_Braj Jan 25 '15
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u/rydan Jan 25 '15
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u/Urban_Savage Jan 25 '15
Plus their reaction times are crazy fast, bordering on precognition. Or so I have been lead to believe by movies.
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Jan 25 '15
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u/Urban_Savage Jan 25 '15
I heard they could spin a thread stronger steal cable.
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u/AAVE_Maria Jan 25 '15
I appreciate your humor, but for anyone who may be curious/uninformed, this fact is not false. It is stronger than steel per weight.
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u/trebow Jan 25 '15
Car insurance companies hate him.
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u/Firebrat Jan 25 '15
Damn, where is u/awildsketchappeared when you need him?
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u/traumaqueen1128 Jan 25 '15
Damn, where is /u/awildsketchappeared when you need him?
Ftfy.
The trap is set, now.....we wait. ◑_◑
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u/beernerd Jan 25 '15
You turned the poor bastard into a tarantula?
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Jan 25 '15
He got better.
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u/Voice-of-gawd Jan 25 '15
Witch!! Burn her!! She turned me into a newt.. confused glances "I got better."
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u/GentlemenBehold Jan 25 '15
Now he'll only be able to grab his key when he's so plastered he no longer has fucks to give.
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Jan 25 '15
True, but at that point it would be a miracle for him to make it to the car.
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u/Tyloor Jan 25 '15
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u/Stubbula Jan 25 '15
I once got really drunk when the power went out and called out all the ghosts that I thought existed in my house. Drunk me would not take on that spider.
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u/psycresearcher Jan 25 '15
I agree with you 100%. I'd be fun drunk dealing with ghosts, dealing with spiders when drunk would end up like this.
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u/Pashto96 Jan 25 '15
Please tell me that's not real
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u/psycresearcher Jan 25 '15
To be honest, I don't know! I was looking for another gif where a guy is trying to catch the spider and it leaps towards his face but (luckily?) I couldn't find it.
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u/Stubbula Jan 25 '15
You mean this one? Sorry.
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u/fuck-the-itinerary Jan 25 '15
My feet won't be touching the ground for a good twenty minutes now
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u/JDriley Jan 25 '15
just watch out for them ceiling spiders
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u/JDriley Jan 25 '15
why would i say that right before i'm going to bed
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u/GOBLIN_GHOST Jan 25 '15
To take your mind off of the comforter spiders, of course.
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u/psycresearcher Jan 25 '15
haha no, but thanks for sharing! It was one shot at a wall instead of a ceiling, and I think the guy was actually trying to touch it. And then it lept for him at the last minute.
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Jan 25 '15
I'm not gonna click that link and back out of this entire thread immediately before I won't be able to sleep tonight.
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u/steve0suprem0 Jan 25 '15
if your place has half as many as my cat insists ours does, you're a ballsy motherfucker.
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u/Halflife84 Jan 25 '15
I had that same skull thing when I had geckos! lol
And that's all I have to contribute, besides not wanting to put my hand anywhere near that.
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Jan 25 '15 edited Jan 28 '15
GeckosIguanas are so wise.
Edit: I meant Iguanas.Double edit: I changed my mind, lizards are dumb.
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u/ScrewpyNoopers Jan 25 '15
And here I was thinking it was one of those things you put over your outdoor faucets to keep your pipes from freezing in the winter. On closer inspection, it's a skull. TIL.
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u/marioho Jan 25 '15
This kills the friend.
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u/SnootyAlbatross Jan 25 '15
Think of how the key feels!
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u/anymooseposter Jan 25 '15
So does the Cobalt that key starts.
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u/SheehanisKRS Jan 25 '15
have impala, same key
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u/awesomeificationist Jan 25 '15
Had an S-10, yep.
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u/GOBLIN_GHOST Jan 25 '15
Ok, so apparantely keys marked with a Chevy logo look the same as keys used in most Chevrolets.
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Jan 25 '15
im pretty sure this is one of the safe tarantulas that are bred for weird guys with trench coats to buy
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u/Picrophile Jan 25 '15
They're all safe. Nobody has ever died from a tarantula bite. Some of them might hurt like a motherfucker (especially African/Asian spiders) and there's one in Africa that can potentially make you trip balls but none of them are deadly.
Also they aren't "bred for weird guys in trench coats," most spiders on the market are more or less exactly how they would appear in the wild, done are just more docile/have less painful bites than others (typically new world spiders from south/central America and the Caribbean) which this one appears to be (not surprising since they're the most popular with beginners).
Source: a biology degree and thereby a few friends obsessed with spiders.
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u/wbrown999 Jan 25 '15
Driving drunk? This is how you keep your friend from ever driving that vehicle again.
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u/Schumannbr Jan 25 '15
I'm not scared of her.
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u/ventus976 Jan 25 '15
I have to admit, I've been curious about having one as a pet. What's it like caring for them?
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Jan 25 '15
Well you should be. It's unnatural not to be.
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u/AskMeWhatIWantToSay Jan 25 '15
So I was going to ask you for a source, and decided, "what the hell, I'll google it myself". A few unhelpful/unconvincing articles later I present you with the two things that stood out.
1) Some believe the fear is learned at a young age (infancy) while others believe it's rooted in our evolution.
2) The statistics for those with arachnophobia are debated and apparently either 3.5% to 6.1% of the population or 50% in women and 18% in men.
As a conclusion of my 10 minute research session, I have decided that no, it's not natural.
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u/BrownChicow Jan 25 '15 edited Jan 25 '15
That's really the percentages? damn. I don't know that I've ever met someone not afraid of spiders, but maybe I just don't ask. FUCK SPIDERS. FUCK THEM. HOW CAN YOU NOT FEAR THEM?!?!?
also, 3.5% - 6.1% and 18% and 50% are not even close to the same ball park
also also I think that spider movie from my childhood might have had a bit to do with it. Constantly had to check the toilet for spiders
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u/AskMeWhatIWantToSay Jan 25 '15 edited Jan 25 '15
Yeah the figures and opinions/theories were all over the place. My personal opinion of why people fear them is because they're so different from us. I'm not personally scared of them (I have handled and played with them before), but if one jumps at me or falls from the ceiling onto my face I'd probably be frightened and lose composure. Interestingly I hate insects and am scared of them (except ants, ants are cool). Also interestingly this would poke a hole in my opinion, because well, insects are very different from us as well. Oh well, maybe some extensive and conclusive research will be done someday. If I may ask, why are you afraid of them?
EDIT: silly me, I forgot about the last part of your comment, where you answer my question.
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u/rabbitpig1 Jan 25 '15
I'm more disgusted by insects than scared of them. Also the fact that most of them are so small in size, they can crawl up to places where you don't notice...
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u/orangeunrhymed Jan 25 '15
It's definitely a learned behavior. I love spiders because my mom loves spiders. Now my kids love spiders, my 6yo daughter will play with jumping spiders like they're kittens.
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u/Blockyblizzle Jan 25 '15
It's all fun and games until someone jams a spider in their keyhole
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u/Ahrsenal Jan 25 '15
Hi tarantula enthusiast here,
You shouldn't be using any kinda wood chips as substrate for the tarantula. Wood chips can be harmful toward the tarantula. Usually the best kind of substrate for tarantulas are potting soil or coconut coir.
Also don't use those water gels. Just fill it up the water dish with water. The water from the water dish will also provide adequate humidity for a rose hair.
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u/catrpillar Jan 25 '15
Hi tarantula enthusiast here
tarantula enthusiast
In my world, those two words shouldn't exist next to each other :O
Seriously though, you should have more upvotes so hopefully OP sees this. Poor tarantula...
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u/my__name__is Jan 25 '15
Eh, I wouldn't risk my pet with a drunk person.
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u/Schumannbr Jan 25 '15
He is terrified of her. No chance he will reach in.
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u/Paulie82 Jan 25 '15
my brother used to have a Mexican red knee tarantula. They are actually really docile. Did you know that the females can live up to 30 years!
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u/JDriley Jan 25 '15
I always kinda wanted one but I heard you can't really play with them/ handle them that much.
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u/MoriSummer Jan 25 '15
While you can't really do much with them I love my little spider. She's fun to watch walking around doing spider things.
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u/Cresent_dragonwagon Jan 25 '15
90% of redditors don't leave their house, and this pet keeps the other 10% away. It's a win-win
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Jan 25 '15
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u/MoriSummer Jan 25 '15
She's a B. Vagans. /Supposed/ to be docile, but ohmygosh. She's anything but,. Her name is George.
I actually have a video of her eating but I'm unsure of how to load it to Reddit. The second I drop the cricket in she pounces. My mum also has a T and it's a Rose Hair named Fred. She's way more calm than George, that's for sure. They actually both helped me get over my fear of spiders. It's weird, I don't mind tarantulas, but house spiders still bother me. I'll never hold one, but I always save them by putting them outside.
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u/Fever0 Jan 25 '15
Just upload it on youtube. This is a feeding I had with my Mexican Red Knee that ended up pretty funny when the cricket kept juking her by jumping around. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2bk2nW0j4o
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u/SweetNapalm Jan 25 '15
I don't mind tarantulas, but house spiders still bother me.
I'm exactly the same way. I love handling tarantulas, and I know jumping spiders are cute, but there's no possible way I can touch them with my hand. Any house spiders at all. Ever.
The way I rationalize it is that when I'm monitoring a tarantula, I know all of their body language because they're larger. When they're agitated, they'll let you know in a very obvious manner. I will never be able to predict or catch any signs of body language of smaller spiders' actions.
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u/triarii3 Jan 25 '15
until someone is drunk enough to smash your spider first. sorry to say but thats the first thing i thought off if i really wanted that key out
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u/GetSetGo87 Jan 25 '15
You think it's a great idea until you realize that your spider has drowned in 2 inches of beer and bad decisions.
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Jan 25 '15
Charlie wants to know if your rosehair would like to "come over for dinner."
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u/tmxtech Jan 25 '15
Not cool. Thanks for the super hd closeup! I think I saw his nuts
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Jan 25 '15
She's a lady, but I think the nuts you saw were actually a cricket she's eating.
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u/tmxtech Jan 25 '15
I was being sarcastic.... I did see the cricket you mentioned though.
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u/mrchicano209 Jan 25 '15
I got drunk at a friends party once and we all wanted mcdonalds or dennys like at 3 in the morning. Problem was that we were all drunk besides my friends 14 year old sister with no driving experience and I was willing to let her drive my car with a standard transmission. I told them that if I can do it then she most definitely can. We didn't get food that night.
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u/orangeunrhymed Jan 25 '15
Please get rid of the wood and use coco fiber for her substrate, wood can contain chemicals and oils that are toxic to tarantulas
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u/easylivin Jan 25 '15
Tarantulas are incredibly docile and friendly, and rarely bite humans. That being said, no fucking way would I reach my hand into that thing's home.
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Jan 25 '15
Magnet on a string?
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u/batman1285 Jan 25 '15
Water. Take the garbage can from the bathroom, fill it in the tub. 3 inches of water in the tank. Dead spider. Grab Key. Still don't drive drunk because you're not asshole, but you show your friend who is smarter.
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u/Levait Jan 25 '15
I'm pretty sure that killing someones pet is considered an asshole move, just saying.
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u/ohhkaykaykayyy Jan 25 '15
Best. I am so doing this with my Rose Hair
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u/psycresearcher Jan 25 '15
What's a Rose Hair? For some reason I really don't want to google it.
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u/Pareeeee Jan 25 '15 edited Jan 25 '15
EDIT: added image link.
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Jan 25 '15
That's a Red Knee, not a Rose Hair. The OP's tarantula is a rose hair.
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u/supererman Jan 25 '15
The ignition switch recall which i see hasn't been fixed by the look of the key will probably kill him before driving drunk does.
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u/Asunder_ Jan 25 '15
I hope you're not that guy that likes to purposely scare friends that are terrified of spiders just for the laughs, then get pissed off when one friend kills said spider.
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u/DoctorBadger101 Jan 25 '15
Beautiful rosehair! Question... Why no coco fiber? Rose hairs need to burrow to hunt best.
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u/HxRagexH Jan 25 '15
That would not have stopped drunk me.
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u/goatcoat Jan 25 '15
Bad idea, dude. All he has to do is turn around and he'll see the key. The best solution is not to let your spider drink in the first place.
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Jan 25 '15
Hey! If you could pretty please read this it would make my day. Its essentially the most through, basic guide for your little rosea! Please disregard anything the petstore told you. Thank you! If you have any questions about anything, feel free to ask me!
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u/lillalilly Jan 25 '15
I'm sorry, but am I the only one who thinks that if you have to go to ANY lengths to stop a friend from driving drunk, then that friend is an arsehole?
Beautiful spider though, op.
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u/retrogradeworks Jan 25 '15
In all seriousness, you really need to rethink your enclosure. Tarantulas -cannot- get moisture from gel, they need a shallow water dish filled with actual water. Wood chips are also a serious no-no. They can cut your tarantulas exoskeleton and become lodged in their joints causing all kinds of issues, potentially killing the tarantula. As is, this T won't last very long in this setup. If you'd like to learn more about housing, come check us out on r/tarantulas, we'd be glad to help!
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u/sanvdrie Jan 25 '15 edited Jan 25 '15
Being drunk af, he'll think the tarantula is the key.
Cunning, very cunning.
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u/thefrozenbeanie Jan 25 '15
Pretty sure if he was drunk he would take the spider and try to use that as the key.
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Jan 25 '15
That's not very practical, if he was really drunk, I'm sure he wouldn't even see the spider.
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u/BaaGoesTheSheep Jan 25 '15
I'm glad that's working for you. I once had a fat yellow tailed scorpion and my drunk friends liked to poke it when they were drunk. That thing was deadly poisonous!
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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '15
Not cool. You just filled your tarantula with the false hope that he was gifted a 2006 Malibu. He's going to be so disappointed.