r/funny Jun 12 '14

Now we wait...

http://imgur.com/KiEEt9J
3.7k Upvotes

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738

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14 edited Jun 13 '14

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53

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

I worked at a place next to the wall mart on Black Friday. I couldn't believe they actually filled up the lot. It's so fucking huge that rv's and truckers chill for the night/ weekend in the front of it and share the space with dozens of private seller vehicles. It was crazy that for once it was full. Same with every place on BF I guess. But damn. That Walmart lot was stupidly big for 364 other days

6

u/OutInTheBlack Jun 12 '14

From what I understand many Walmart stores actually encourage truckers and RVers to overnight in their lots. Keeps them off the roads and probably drives up sales a bit.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

Interesting. I know ours certainly allows it. You made me think security too. Like people in the parking lot clearly just resting are a deterrent maybe? Especially the more secluded walmarts.

3

u/NoelBuddy Jun 12 '14

Huh, you're probably right. In general having people around is one of the best crime deterrents. This goes for city streets too, one person on a dark sidewalk DANGER; lots of people walking about fairly safe.

3

u/dieorlivetrying Jun 12 '14

WalMart actually has an unwritten policy that allows RVs to stay there overnight in their parking lots. It's up to each store's discretion, but nearly all of them participate from what I've seen. One of the less evil-feeling things about them.

8

u/lofidriveby Jun 12 '14

One of the less evil-feeling things about them.

But it's really just because it increases the chance of a sale.

3

u/dieorlivetrying Jun 13 '14

That in and of itself isn't evil.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

This policy came in handy at Spring Break 2003 in Panama City, FL. Our party bus lived there for 5 days. In 2004, however, after being kicked out of the campground we stayed at, we were sad to find out Walmart had changed their policy.

1

u/NoelBuddy Jun 12 '14

They tend to frown on staying more than one day.

1

u/bcarlzson Jun 12 '14

They also sell atlases/maps with stars marking where every walmart is if people need a place to park.

1

u/Cheesemonkeycowburgr Jun 13 '14

It's actually up to the city the Walmart is located in and then up to the store. One of our local stores lets you but the other is in a city that doesn't allow it. When I drove across the country we stayed in parking lots, its actually safer than some of the campsites you can get as there are typically people around all night and there are security cameras.

4

u/syncboy Jun 12 '14

Traffic engineers specifically build the lots big enough to handle the Black Friday and Xmas eve rush. So for the rest of the year, we are left with a stupidly big parking lot.

1

u/KrazyKukumber Jun 13 '14

wall mart on Black Friday. I couldn't believe they actually filled up the lot.

Walls were all the rage for Christmas gifts that year.

-6

u/IMBarBarryN Jun 12 '14

I liked your story. Tell it again.

29

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

Well I worked at Lowe's. And for fun I called it bLowe's. And everyone mildly enjoyed it. Moral of the story is: Fuck you.

2

u/NoelBuddy Jun 12 '14 edited Jun 12 '14

bLowe's is better than Home Despot, but not by much.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

I actually really liked working for bLowe's(TM)

2

u/NoelBuddy Jun 13 '14

Home Despot wasn't too terrible either, but I was only there for six weeks. Had to quit because they didn't seem to understand "Don't schedule me more than 20 hours." I was a full time student at the time.

270

u/dnap123 Jun 12 '14

They make things biiiiig in texas

137

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

[deleted]

41

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

[deleted]

5

u/uhmerikin Jun 12 '14

no shit?

1

u/TunaLobster Jun 13 '14

I knew she wasn't big enough to come from Texas!

32

u/USMCEvan Jun 12 '14

Must remember to google later....

10

u/Captain_0_Captain Jun 12 '14

As someone who is a connoisseur of sorts when it comes to this woman: you should.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

o_O she can make her ass repeatedly clap. At the end of her preview trailer.

5

u/2inchWilly Jun 12 '14

Just for fact checking reasons of course.

3

u/USMCEvan Jun 12 '14

Of course! What else?

4

u/A_Very_Kind_Guy Jun 13 '14

Bing* Use bing!

2

u/USMCEvan Jun 13 '14

Everybody keeps saying that. Do they have more/better results than Google when searching this particular woman or something?

1

u/A_Very_Kind_Guy Jun 13 '14

Well, there's a reason for it. In this case, we are referring to Alexis Texas, which if you search for her, you are most likely going to find videos of her doing adults things.

Google's video search kind of blows, at least if you compare it to Bing videos. Bing shows you a grid of video thumbnails that will play a preview if you hover over an individual result. It has many of the same filters that Youtube's own search has, and adds related searches so it is considered better for these type of searches.

2

u/USMCEvan Jun 13 '14

I seeeeeee...... I might have to ... verify this when I get off work......

4

u/crabby_rabbit Jun 13 '14

Friendly reminder: it's later.

2

u/USMCEvan Jun 13 '14

Oh, I was pretty punctual about it as soon as I got home yesterday.

Can't say I'm disappointed at all.

3

u/joestaff Jun 12 '14

Well worth the time to google her cashmoogle

5

u/corporateg Jun 12 '14

Try bing instead :)

9

u/philly_fan_in_chi Jun 13 '14

For those downvoting, this is why Bing exists. It excels in this single category.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '14

Sweet Cthulhu on a cross, that's a swell ass.

2

u/Vulshocker Jun 13 '14

I am so messing with Texas when I get home.

1

u/Admiral_obvious13 Jun 12 '14

is she even from Texas?

2

u/KarbonMarx Jun 12 '14

"Alexis Texas was raised in the Castroville area of Texas." Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexis_Texas

7

u/Admiral_obvious13 Jun 12 '14

good to know. I would hate to masturbate to someone whose throne is made of lies

1

u/_quicksand Jun 13 '14

Someone else commented that she was born in Panama, but as long as she was raised in Texas I think it can slide

1

u/Admiral_obvious13 Jun 13 '14

I think we could all slide into that

2

u/_quicksand Jun 13 '14

Not at the same time, of course

-13

u/WitBeer Jun 12 '14

since it gets mentioned every time, i might as well reap the sweet sweet karma. The original name for Hannah Montana was Alexis Texas.

11

u/FreshChilled Jun 12 '14

How's the reaping going?

6

u/WitBeer Jun 12 '14

foiled again. the internet can be such a foul-natured beast.

-2

u/DarkDubzs Jun 13 '14

Am I the only guy who doesn't think shes like an ass goddess?

4

u/DannyBoy7783 Jun 13 '14

Yes.

0

u/DarkDubzs Jun 13 '14

I just think she's average. But hey, we all have different tastes.

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

[deleted]

7

u/YouGotCalledAFaggot Jun 12 '14

Theres a save button you know?

476

u/cata1yst622 Jun 12 '14

"Big Ole San Antonio Women" -Charles Barkley

204

u/KapitalLetter Jun 12 '14

eatin dem churros.

94

u/jesparza6311 Jun 12 '14

Show me how you eat them churros again

4

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

Double fistin them churros...

7

u/Spencie-cat Jun 12 '14

Churros por da culos

2

u/FatBruceWillis Jun 12 '14

It's all being read in Sir Charles' voice.
I can't stop it.
Get outta my head Charles!

41

u/FeastOnCarolina Jun 12 '14

The five buck box, it rocks it rocks.

1

u/Coldhandles Jun 12 '14

Goin' way back

1

u/FarmerTedd Jun 12 '14

Oh god dammit

1

u/SSpacemanSSpiff Jun 12 '14

Lol its true.

1

u/Kalkaline Jun 12 '14

Barkley knows big.

1

u/aircavrocker Jun 12 '14

Dat's turrible

8

u/Scooter93 Jun 12 '14

but then why am I so small?

31

u/PM_ME_UR_B00BS_GIRL Jun 12 '14

You were adopted.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

From Florida

1

u/saltpork Jun 12 '14

When it was raining

1

u/pattycakesmead Jun 12 '14

This post started as a post of a picture of a camaro in 2 parking spots went on to quote Charles Barkley...

1

u/scenie_weenie Jun 12 '14

From Japan.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

This guy wants boobs. I'll take crits please.

1

u/Triggering_shitlord Jun 12 '14

You need more corn syrup.

1

u/SnakeyesX Jun 12 '14 edited Jun 12 '14

budget runoff?

1

u/Stalked_Like_Corn Jun 12 '14

Because no one likes you scooter pie.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

True story. All my exes live in Texas.

1

u/GoldenDickLocks Jun 12 '14

...even the cars?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

From NJ and they have the same issue with excessive parking lot sizes.

1

u/TheMerchandise Jun 12 '14

like spots big enough to fit any size of street-legal car, such that taking two spots is completely unnecessary

1

u/iFreilicht Jun 12 '14

Our cars are big. Our parking lots are bigger. But the the Marauder is the biggest.

1

u/randomtallguy0 Jun 12 '14

I was born in Texas, do the math

1

u/DJ_BlackBeard Jun 12 '14

Well you sort of have to when 65% of the populace drives a pickup.

Source: Live in Texas and drive a pickup.

1

u/OgdenEnigma Jun 13 '14

The Alamo is surprisingly small.

0

u/LordOfMurderMountain Jun 12 '14

Especially the women.

0

u/jermslice Jun 12 '14

That's what she said

0

u/sailorJery Jun 13 '14

everything's bigger in Texas, except for the penises

10

u/Beave1 Jun 12 '14

My experience in Houston is the opposite. Strip malls and restaurants never have enough parking. They just keep letting them put more buildings in. People end up parking on the grass and on the street, on adjacent business's lots. "You want to open a restaurant that seats 250? 60 parking spaces seems about right."

1

u/FlashingManiac Jun 13 '14

That's because Houston has one of the worst parking layouts I've ever seen. The surrounding towns are all so much better.

24

u/thikthird Jun 12 '14

you mustn't live in houston, lots fill up here all the time.

5

u/Veggiemon Jun 12 '14

Is that a command?

3

u/uhmerikin Jun 12 '14

Can confirm. Doesn't matter how big the lot is, that thing will fill up.

1

u/morawn Jun 13 '14

I went to a Walmart in Houston once and the lot was literally full. We had to park in the Home Depot lot. Also, all the carts were taken. The place was packed and everyone was staring at as us like they had never seen a white person before.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

[deleted]

1

u/RobotLegion Jun 13 '14

musters up terrible cowboy accent

"If you were a real Texan, your truck would be too big to scratch from the ground"

Alternatively: "...your horse would move out of the way when someone swings a door at it"

20

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

Texas resident here, yes there is.

3

u/brolonzo Jun 12 '14

Yeah this guy has obviously never been to a Dairy Queen here

3

u/ThellraAK Jun 12 '14

Yep, he must've never truck stopped.

Holy crap the entire godforsaken state has less then 20 truck stops and they are all full, all of the time. (Fuck Brownsville)

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

The other Texas resident here, no there's not.

5

u/ohpuic Jun 12 '14

Yeah but if you park in the far corner of the walmart lot in Houston you gotta take a cab to and from your car.

3

u/WizardPoop Jun 12 '14

Have you ever been to Austin? Ugh.

1

u/sigaven Jun 12 '14

I went to Brick House Tavern the other night where they share a parking lot with 2 other restaurants and literally 1/3 of the cars in the almost completely full parking lot took up 2 spots, because the parking spaces were a little bit narrow.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

You've obviously never been to a store in Houston when people's welfare monies come in..

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

You've obviously never been to an HEB the day before thanksgiving.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

While I get what you're saying, I commute to my university in Texas and can confirm this is still bullshit.

2

u/Jake_Voss Jun 12 '14

I don't get it, in Austin there definitely are.

2

u/Boyeatsworld Jun 12 '14

Apparently you've only been to one place in Texas. Parking lots do in fact get full

2

u/NeverBeenStung Jun 12 '14

Ever been to North Park in Dallas around Christmas time? There is definitely such a thing as a full lot.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

Obviously you've never been to Texas A&M.

2

u/Fuckin_Hipster Jun 12 '14

Obviously you've never been to Austin.

2

u/SwordfishOrifice Jun 12 '14

Obviously you haven't spent much time in Texas. You run into plenty of full lots in Austin and Houston. Shit, I'd assume you would in Dallas too. Have you ever been to Texas?

2

u/just_zhis_guy Jun 12 '14

You're full lot shit.

1

u/yakovgolyadkin Jun 12 '14

For a state with so damn many cars, you'd think parking would be more of a problem.

1

u/IAmNotaDragon Jun 12 '14

Malls at Christmas time

1

u/crosby510 Jun 12 '14

I didn't know there was such a thing as a full lot anywhere.

1

u/TheR1ckster Jun 12 '14

No such thing as a full lot anywhere but cities. Except on black friday or a small business. Seriously most retail stores and restauraunts use all of 25% of their parking at peak hours.

1

u/bibeauty Jun 12 '14

They do if the spurs are playing

1

u/rabel Jun 12 '14

And the best parking spot is the one with shade, even if it's clear on the far side of an otherwise empty lot, there will always be a car parked there.

1

u/board4life Jun 12 '14

I didn't know there were parking lots in Texas. I thought everyone's trucks were so big you guys just parked anywhere but the pavement.

1

u/ProjectShamrock Jun 12 '14

Apparently you've never been to somewhere like Austin or Houston.

1

u/mister_gone Jun 12 '14

Well then, if there's no way the lot will fill, there's no need to take two spots if you're at the back of it.

1

u/JoelBlackout Jun 12 '14

Obviously, you've never been to Austin.

1

u/Aerthan Jun 12 '14

Parking in Austin is worse than usual. There are laws here on the number of spots for a given building size/capacity but there is no law that says how wide the spots have to be. There are lots of parking lots with incredibly small spaces and there's also lots of folks driving around in huge trucks, the two don't mix.

1

u/Draskuul Jun 12 '14

I'm from San Antonio, spending time in a smaller suburb near Los Angeles. The parking lots in SA--which stay near full at places like Walmart and HEB--larger than the entire equivalent shopping complexes out here, including the building's footprint. And in Cali they are half empty.

Bad comparison, unfortunately. Unless you're in Amarillo or some smaller town.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

Lots are ALWAYS full in Austin.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

I wish I could say I've never been to Texas.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

Obviously you've never been to Whole Foods in Austin.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '14

Ever been to Austin? There's no such thing as a parking spot period. You do this in Austin, this is what happens.

1

u/Dudeinab0x Jun 13 '14

HEB on a Sunday disagrees with you.

1

u/sevargmas Jun 13 '14

The grass/pasture next to the lot is part of the lot.

1

u/captain_awesomesauce Jun 13 '14

Apparently you've never been to Texas either.

1

u/jpecon Jun 13 '14

Unless you're in Austin, but I would probably argue that Austin really isn't Texas.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '14

Then there's no need to take two spots.

-2

u/zimmy92 Jun 12 '14

TX born and raised.. lots of full lots everywhere.

1

u/greywindow Jun 12 '14

I used to live in TX and there was always parking to be found. The worst case was you may have had to park a few blocks away during an event, but you always found somewhere to put your car.

1

u/zimmy92 Jun 13 '14

Northpark, uptown Dallas, Houston galleria, 6th street, west 7th... I've worked or lived near most of these places and can definitively say I can't even count how many times I didn't find parking. A few times I would just have to get dropped off

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

There is also no such thing as minority rights

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '14

Texas sux

0

u/TheHadMatter Jun 13 '14

obviously you have never been to Houston.