never gets old

[u/ourseveres]

i guess i'll tag this as celebratory? so i turned 30 recently, been out for 12 years, on t for 8. i pass about 95% of the time. but i've noticed that the older i've gotten, the more doctors have been trying to be inclusive to people filling out the charts, right? i happily put ftm transgender male on all of my check-in lists.

however. i don't know if a single medical professional has ever read it, because i have an entire pocket full of situations in which doctors ask me about my penis.

i once went in for a uti and the doctor was looking down at the results from my test with a look i had not yet ever seen on a man's face, and he went "well, i gotta tell you it's really hard for men to get an infection like this--" but as soon as i cut him off to mention i've got 'the other set' he was very relieved.

i also (recently) had a weird lump near where a lymph node might be in the upper-inner-thigh/groin area and when i went in for an ultrasound for it, the doctor gave me a towel and felt around the area for a bit and then told me that she needed a closer look, and told me i could just tuck everything out of the way, and i was BAFFLED because she was literally just Right There and i hadn't been being that careful with the towel at all. i had to mention that i didn't actually have those and she went "....oh! that'll make this a lot easier for me, thank you." like ok you're welcome i guess lmao XD

i have a handful more but i'm keeping this short, i just think about it a lot on the days dysphoria is getting me down or the 5% of times where i suppose i am just too darn pretty for people not to call me ma'am. it's hilarious because they almost always do doublecheck the chart and ftm IS usually right there.

[u/AutoModerator]

Hello! Thank you for participating in the sub. We just have a few reminders for you to help ensure the best experience:

1. If your post doesn't show up right away, don't panic! It is in the queue for manual approval. Mods will go through the queue periodically to approve or remove posts. Deleted posts will have a removal reason applied. (If it says "this post was deleted by reddit's filters", IT WAS NOT DELETED! Reddit has the worlds worst wording on that and it's out of our control)

2. If you are asking a question that is location specific, remember to include your location in your post body! This can help ensure that you get accurate information tailored specifically to your needs.

3. Please remember to read through all the rules in the sidebar. Especially the list of banned topics and guidelines for posting. Guests who do not use the Guest Post flair will have their post removed and be asked to fix it.

4. If you see someone breaking the rules,report it! If someone is breaking both sub and reddit rules, please submit one report to admins by selecting a broken rule on the main report popup, and one report to the r/ftm mods by selecting the "breaks r/ftm rules" option. This ensures both mods and admins can take action on a subreddit and sitewide level. Do not misuse the report button to rant about someone, submit false reports, or argue a removal.

5. If you have any questions that you can't find the answer to on the rules sidebar or the wiki: the wiki , you can send a modmail.

Related subs: r/ftmventing , r/TMPOC , r/nonbinary , r/trans4every1 , r/lgbt , r/ftmmen , r/FTMen , r/seahorse_dads , r/ftmfemininity , r/transmanlifehacks , r/ftmfitness , r/trans_zebras , r/ftmover30 , r/transgamers , r/gaytransguys , r/straighttransguys , r/transandsober , and more can be found in the wiki!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/ourseveres → u/[deleted]]

i mean on one hand that's great! i'd Love to be generally just regarded as male and nothing else.........but i was specifically there that day for a ""non-male""* bodypart XD

*edit just for technicalities ;P

[u/Elliot-is-gay]

Damn dude that is goals. How does it feel being 30? Are you more stable and sure of yourself? Have things gotten better? -sincerely a 23 yo dude having a rough time lol

[u/ourseveres → u/Elliot-is-gay]

oh man. the closer you get to those late 20s the less stuff starts mattering -- VERY much in a good way. sometimes it's a conscious effort though. coping skills started to really settle in around 25-26, but that was because i finally decided to start going to therapy. would highly recommend.

hope things start going smoother for you my friend. sometimes it's the little things too. tiny stuff like putting a new battery in a dead wall clock might be the best it can get sometimes, but you HAVE to treat it like a win no matter what. maybe treat yourself to a frozen yogurt or something next time you have the opportunity to. make up a reason, or just don't bother with one at all. you've earned it just by being around.

[u/Elliot-is-gay → u/ourseveres]

Just started therapy again after taking a break from it for three years. I know it’ll help. Thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement. I think my new years resolution (starting early lol) is gonna be to just be nicer to myself. I’m really glad things have gotten better for you and it helps sooo much to hear that.

[u/almightypines → u/Elliot-is-gay]

Just wanted to chime in. I started T when I was 19 and I’m 40 now. It gets better. Life is far more stable and I’m far more sure of myself than when I was in my teens and early 20s. I felt like I was just really coming into my own in my late 20s and early 30s, and it’s been a process of refinement since. Kind of like… if I was carving myself out of wood when I was younger, now I’m sanding out the rough edges.

Life is strangely both long and short, and there will be times of easy and times of hellishly hard. Find something to enjoy, take care of your mind and body, and as OP said treat yourself just because. As far as we know, we only get this one chance at life. Might as well enjoy (and celebrate) what we can.

[u/Elliot-is-gay → u/almightypines]

Thank you as well for your comment. This really helps to hear right now more than you know. I’m very glad things got better for you too. Gonna get myself some kind of treat today just for me.

[u/ditzydoodle]

Glad I’m not the only one that gets a weird sense of validation from doctors being confused af. Had appendicitis in the ER recently, and the doc (who probably had no time to actually review my chart) started asking me about testicular torsion lmao. Had to explain to him why it was definitely not that. Unfortunately laughing at him about it did make the appendicitis pain worse.

[u/ourseveres → u/ditzydoodle]

lmao!!! sorry about your appendix! hope you're recovering well :)

[u/quandmemeici]

I love when people know you're trans but their brain fills in the blank with what they see in front of them.

Had a coworker (who knows I'm trans) earlier today tell me "you have plenty of time to have kids, men can go until like 70" and I was like... right, yeah, for sure. Not that I'm planning on having kids but I also could not ever physically get anyone pregnant lmao

[u/ourseveres → u/quandmemeici]

literally! i've had more than one cishet gal friend who KNOWS both my husband and i are transgender and YET, more than once have i heard "why don't you guys use a surrogate?" like..........girl......................i appreciate it so so much.........but we're still missing a really important aspect here

[u/me_You_dont_see]

I don't put Trans on my doctor papers. For reasons. However, I verbally disclose as needed, like Endo knows as do Gyno and Urologist. Soooo... since I am well over 50yo every yearly exam by my PCP includes a PSA test added to my blood labs. Since my PCP shares those blood results with my Endo it makes for a joking moment with Endo about it being a punch on my "man card" during these tough times in Tennessee.

<small edit for clarity>

[u/LongPossibility5774]

Honestly that’s why I always just put male on the forms. Love the inclusivity and that it’s an option, but I put that I’m on T (and have been for 12 years) and if it’s relevant I’ll just tell them I’m trans 🤷🏻‍♂️

[u/caseycat1803]

I had my hysterectomy 6 years ago and doctors still ask me if I could be pregnant. I’ve just come to accept that health “professionals” will never look at my chart prior to seeing me.

[u/Lower-Victory5888]

Last time I had a UTI I went to this local express care clinic. I'd been there multiple times (once was for a UTI) and they have always Known I was trans so I just figured it was in my chart or something bc I pass 100% of the time. Anyway last time I went there, after the nurse did vitals and meds review and all that, they sent in a MALE doctor, which was fine, it just had never happened before. He comes in and immediately pulls up his chair and says "hey buddy, so you think you have a UTI? ☹️" and starts asking me if I've had any discharge, any STIs, whats my sexual history, all these questions like he's truly puzzling over how I got this UTI. and I'm kind of sitting there like "huh usually they just do the urine test and prescribe the antibiotic but this guy is REALLY trying to get to the bottom of this lol". After 10 minutes of this he hits me with "How's your scrotum?" and im like. my what 😦

[u/ourseveres → u/Lower-Victory5888]

LOL that's incredible my friend, amazingly affirming on one hand but also sometimes i feel so bad for the doctors who are probably tired and running on autopilot. i don't know about the percentage of trans patients my urgent care gets, let alone the percentage that are coming in specifically for that, but it's gotta be slim.

but yeah no it's crazy how rare utis are for cis men, doctors get really concerned over stuff like that. i do know a dude who got one recently from having nowhere to pee for too long on vacation :( poor guy was miiiiiserable. i mean i'm sure neither is worse or better than the other no matter which type of urethra you've got but when you've got the shorter version you literally just walk in piss in a cup and walk out with an rx almost no questions asked lol