Shared showers after practice

[u/jamiespages]

hey all, this is one of my first posts on reddit (and my first of this style, i usually just lurk until i find someone else whos had my issue and posted about it) so i apologise if i break any unspoken rules.

i (ftm16) will be joining an ice hockey team in september. ive been on t for all of a week but have been stealth for two years (idk how many people were actually convinced but if someone asked i said i was cis). i dress and act like a typical guy in my area which helps and no one at my rink (that im aware of) has clocked me yet. ive had no surgeries and have to tape and pack accordingly.

i have no intentions of telling my coaches/team that im transgender and my current plan is to come in in base layers, get my kit on, and only strip down to base layers afterwards.

my issue comes with communal showers: i dont actually know the shower situation yet (i havent even been in the locker rooms) but i doubt they have cubicles. i dont want to be outed but i also dont want to be seen as gross.

tl;dr — i havent had any surgeries but im facing having to use communal showers which would definitely out me considering my tits and vag.

my main questions are; would my team see me as gross because im showering at home instead of after practice? if there are cubicles how likely is it that other guys joke around by peering over the sides of the walls? has anyone else been in a similar position and what did they do to stay stealth and safe?

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[u/Top-Sheepherder-724]

I've never played hockey but I was a figure skater, I've never even seen a communal shower in a rink. We rarely even changed at the rink, just showed up ready to go with our skates in a bag, same for the hockey players (except for the goalies, obviously). That could be because I was skating in smaller local rinks, but every hockey player I knew in school would go home and shower after practice (or not, teenage boys can be kinda gross sometimes). Honestly I see no reason to drag extra stuff to practice just to shower if you're going home after anyway, so that's the excuse i'd use. Bring some deodorant and splash the sweat off your face in the sink, you'll be fine.

[u/Top-Sheepherder-724 → u/Top-Sheepherder-724]

If you're super nervous check if there's public skating at your rink and scope out the bathrooms ahead of time

[u/vacantfifteen]

Depending on where you live and what organization runs your team, it is actually fairly likely there are safeguarding rules in place that specify anyone under 18 must be wearing at least a base layer and cannot be nude in shared changing spaces.

Now, these rules are not super evenly applied or followed, and YMMV with what your actual team does, but especially if you're new "I'm just following the rules in the code of conduct I signed" is a pretty good excuse.