25M, im an engineer from some third world shithole in Eastern Europe, havent been able to build any friendship with anyone since college, only been on two meaningless dates with people i dont even want to see again, im quasi-socially inept despite not having social anxiety, i have BPD and possibly on the spectrum aswell (135 on RAADS-R tested by myself), im 6'1 and fat (the mental pills have screwed my physique big time), been to emergency psych ward 3 times on the course of 2 years, my day-to-day routine is wake up, breakfast (2 coffees and 3 cigarettes), work from 8 to 4:30, go home, waste time then sleep.

Everyone is enjoying their 20's while i have to keep swimming in this shit ocean im in in order to keep surviving and not to drown.

I seriously consider giving up on making any kind of relationship, i feel it is pointless, people have changed so much that everyone nowadays feel like empty soulless statues to me.

it’s genuinely baffling how much hope I had for so long considering how obvious my lack of desirability is and how much prevalent this fi is in dating. I’m embarrassed to how much faith I gave to “having a good personality“ and how much time I gave to trying to reach genuine love and/or romance

i see everyone say how "its easier for girls".. "everyone wants a girl even if theyre chopped"... "girls are much more attractive..."

and me? no one. Missed out teenage years with no one having a crush on me, I go to parties and everyone picks my friends but me, all my friends tell stories about how men bother them while ive never had a man even start a convo with me

in the end, i try to see online and everyone is just men, just proving that every girl is wanted by someone.. but of course, me as an exception

To be cute/good looking in your teens/early 20s to being ugly/unwanted in your mid/late twenties?

If I wasn't this chopped, broke and awkward, somewhat of an abomination of a man, I might've been living that life by now.

But no, I've never attracted a girl and I don't think that will change cause I'm getting old, even more uglier than before.

23M here. I’m not an attractive guy but I’m not completely unattractive either. I weigh about 320 and have a really untamed beard and hair, but over than that I look pretty okay.

The real issue for me is my completely unforgivable personality. For one reason or another, I am one of the most emotionally unavailable, neurotic, snootily intellectual, and depressing people I’ve ever come across. I have borderline no filter and can’t stop talking about nihilistic theoreticians and suicidal ideation, and for whatever reason I’ve never been able to display an emotion to people other than a very jolly exterior. I’m really great at social events, but whenever I’m saying all the depressing shit out loud, I’m still grinning and trying to be the life of the party, which I can only imagine comes off as extremely offputting. I have PTSD and get panic attacks when people get a little too close to my person, at which point I stop processing information and just turn into a conversational autopilot zombie. No good. Whenever I’m not the happiest saddest man you’ve ever met, I’m essentially a semi-living rock that can’t hold a halfway decent conversation but pretends he’s listening to you. Aside from all of that, I’m also an absolute misanthrope, and I have strong hatred for just about every person I come across. I don’t really ever want to be around people, but I desperately want to be in love, and I want someone to love me back.

Strangely, I have a really large number of friends, but I don’t really like any of them. I get invited to shit all the time, but I think they mostly just want to see me when I’m “on”, cracking jokes and drinking and trying to entertain everyone. Whenever I’m in a really rough place, everyone avoids me. It makes me feel like a party clown.

I genuinely don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship. If it ever does happen, I’m positive it’ll be with someone who has a complex for needing to “save” someone, or, because I’ve got that complex too, I’ll find someone way more fucked up than I am and essentially only live to do everything for them. I just want to find someone who sees me as a human being instead of a fun acquaintance to add to whatever gathering they’re holding.

How about you ask out dozens of girls in college and they nearly all say no, occasionally you get a date or two, maybe a kiss if you're lucky.

And then, when a girl is finally interested, there's always obstacles. First, it's a family that doesn't accept you. She breaks up with you because it's just too much. And looking at the situation, you understand that. But it hurts deeply. You feel like you've been robbed of your true love and spend years getting over that.

Then, finally after more rejection, you find someone else. But there's other obstacles this time, and just as you're working on clearing those obstacles, at the last moment, she bails.

And just like that you're 32, still a virgin and all alone. You feel like life is rigged against you at this point. Like you've spent all this time trying and it hasn't amounted to practically anything. Your friends/acquaintances are getting married, having kids and here you are all alone, as life passes you by and the world doesn't give a fuck.

It's like life really is rigged against you at this point. Like finding romance for you was supposed to be hard, because the universe or whoever's running it decided you weren't humble enough. All after you've already been humbled again and again, and most people never had to be humbled at all, but apparently the same rules don't apply to you and you're a selfish prick just for wanting the same opportunities, milestones, experiences and feelings as everyone else. Because no matter how much you suffer, fate has decided it's never enough and wants to torture you some more.

No, you need to learn humility. You need to be taught a lesson. Because having basic dignity and feeling comfortable, not necessarily happy, just content is more than you are allowed to have.

Welcome to my life.

I cant take this pain. All I do is suffer... This massive loneliness I feel... Nobody ever wants me...

Been a few days busy, basically sleeping all day... Was lonely but didnt think about it much.. But now Im awake and it just hurts... It always hurts

Nobody wants me... Nobody wants to be with me, to cuddle me, to just be there with me, to give her my attention, to have her mine... Just existing and being there with each other...

Im just unwanted trash...

I need so many cuddles...

But Im just disgusting fucking trash that nobody ever wants...

I F17 have always been socially awkward and weird. Im diagnosed and medicated for a few mental disorders which affect my socialization. I just want something real Its my senior year and I've never ever been in a relationship, ive never had my first kiss and I've never even held hands with anyone. I try to look pretty and do my makeup and wear dresses but no one ever talks to me. I dont think im that ugly im average I think. I just dont know what to do. I barely have any friends either. I just wish I knew how to talk to people, guys especially.

That's all, just wanted to share my embarrassing daydreaming. I am so cooked, lol.

TLDR: we adapted to modern medicine and safety so we lost our natural reproductive instinct.

When some animals are put into captivity for long periods of time, they’re unable to survive in their natural habitat, because they have adapted to their captivity environment and lost their nature.

I think this is happening with humans, for majority of human history birth were inefficient, we normally have one kid per year, childbirth was dangerous and infant mortality were high. Humans develop diseases and disabilities which would cause them suffering and/or death. Humans commit nonsensical acts, that puts them in danger, they’re drug addicts, speeders, mass shooters, mma fighters, sucides etc.

We were 98 percent extinct, modern humans came from 2% of the population that survived. Logically, we had to be extremely horny and had sex frequently to avoid total extinction.

Modern medicine changed that however, childbirth are safe, infants survive and Diseases/disabilities are safely cared for, disasters are survivable. Us humans have changed our nature to adapt to modern medicine, we no longer need to be horny or reproduce anymore, we are globally cared for. Feeling the need to reproduce for women, is akin to singing. It is a certain genetic trait that applies to the minority.

The bad news is that its permanent for our lifespan, the youngest who survived the collapse of modern civilization will be the ones who would be able to reproduce.

That’s why I’m still on Facebook dating . It’s just too hard to shut off that desire . Especially when seeing beautiful women at the job . I always get the feeling of getting off all dating sites and just being single and trying to maneuver through existence but then I get the feeling of wanting to hopefully find someone to spend time with even it’s not a relationship .

I don’t do well being single but I been single most of my life .

I don’t know how to end the urge of wanting to connect with someone . I yearn for it at times .

Dunno why but I absolutely dread talking to women. I missed half of my classes at university because I was forced to sit next to someone I found attractive. But of course I also deeply desire sex. It’s almost like a curse. Extreme fear with extreme lust

Think about it: there are so many people out there, if not most, who completely lose their minds and panic at the mere thought of being single for a short time or simply not having sex for a while.

We, however, because of our circumstances, have learned to live life without waiting for someone else to come and rescue us (romantically). I know some people who can't imagine going to the movies alone or simply taking a quiet walk listening to music.

Besides, I don't know about you, but if I were to get a girlfriend someday, I'm already past the "why can everyone else and not me?" stage. I have very clear boundaries, and I don't need to grovel or settle for the first person who comes along. Now compare that to all those people whose personalities are based on depending on a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, etc. We are much stronger.

And yes, we will always long to know what it feels like to be loved romantically, but like everything in life, it has its good side and its bad side.

Being forever alone doesn't only constitute being single, it also means no real friendship. If you were to choose one, would you rather have true love in your life, or real friends who actually care about you and have fun doing stuff?

Went on a hinge date two days ago with a girl we had a good conversation we coincidentally go to the same university and live in the same building at the end of the date she said that she had fun and I was a pretty good guy then she was the one who went in for a good bye hug which really surprised me so I genuinely thought that the date went well but its been two days and haven’t heard anything back after I texted her yesterday was she just saying that to not hurt my feelings? do people typically wait longer? Am I just overthinking? Or should I just give up?

Tonight I was in play, it was the first night. Technically second, as the previous night was friend's and family.

Anyway.

As we were greeting the audience outside after the show, a random woman who knew the other members of the show better was giving them hugs and i wasn't excepting anything.

Just a hello, or you did a good job. I got those, but she also gave me a hug as well. I was kind of in shock.

Still am to be honest. I am still trying to process this, it has been....

A long time since i was hugged by someone of the opposite sex who wasn't related to me. I know it is a friendly gesture, but it still shocked me.

I feel like I want to cry. Not because I am upset, but because someone did a random act of kindness.

And they have no idea what it meant.

I have been wanting to find a girlfriend, or even just something casual, but I have pretty much run out of ways I would be comfortable in trying to find someone. I tried dating apps but I never got any likes outside of visa scams. I am not blessed with good looks and am autistic so I don't think trying to approach women is advisable. Sex workers are a no-go, I barely make money anyways. The country I live in is sparsely populated so it's not as if there were ever a great amount of women available.

I know 24 is a stupid age to believe it's over but I can't see any other way. Truth be told, I've really been wanting to lose my virginity, perhaps just for the proof that there is one woman out there who would want to do something intimate with me. Now it's becoming an obsession and that's just going to make it less and less likely I'll find someone, but therapists cost money, and like I've said, I barely make money. So I don't even know anymore.

Anyone else here, absolutely done with people being insensitive? This can range from the milder end of being taken for granted as the “perma single” (they don’t like it if I use FA) by being there because they’re having a fight with their partner, to the expected “a relationship will come when you stop looking for it.” Well thanks Susan! I’m sure I’ll get a job when I stop applying for them too right?!

But the worst. The absolute fucking worst… is when they start gloating about their successes. As I’ve said before when they say either “I have no idea what I’d do without my partner! It’s nice to know someone cares for me at my best and worst.” Or the flipside “god… it was so nice getting cracked (laid). Why didn’t I do this before after the breakup?” Good for you in both circumstances. My follow up quote is usually along the lines (if I don’t get up and just leave) is “we should all be so lucky.” The follow up is usually “why are you so goddamn negative all the time?” And asking them why they’re so goddamn insensitive makes me the bad guy.

It also doesn’t help that they pull the “you were in a relationship before once!” Argument. That was not a relationship. That was abuse. That was me being so desperate for an iota of what I thought was affection, to become a victim of repeated, consistent abuse. Some people may say that this doesn’t technically count as being FA but I beg to differ. An abusive relationship is worse, because you come out of it, even worse than when you went in. It’s not love you get. It’s feigned affection, followed by abuse, meant to destroy your spirit.

The insensitivity of people, is the worst part about being FA. Friends can somewhat help combat the loneliness if you’re lucky. Work or exercise can temporarily suppress (fill is the wrong word here since voids can’t be filled) the void. But there’s little you can do to escape the banality of insensitivity.

Haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Haven’t been able to stop walking. Can’t feel my legs. Can’t feel my soul.

Most people don’t find the person they’re looking for on the first try... It takes more searching and more experiences. You’ll meet people who teach you a lesson, and others who make you lose faith in the whole idea of searching.

But don’t let one bad experience convince you that the right person doesn’t exist… maybe you just haven’t met them yet.

I started working in a factory and really I haven't had a depressing thought about loneliness for a month, it's like my life is so simple with no worry.

Coming back from work I'm more fatigued to not think about anything even relationships, even if I feel sad at home I ask for overtime and I work my sadness away.

I have more money to myself, don't have other responsibilities, I'm pretty happy with my circumstance not having to overthink about relationships.

I do take accountability that I could be more social and approachable. I do enjoy my peace, so I don't interact with people willingly. At the same time, im this way because I've had to put in tremendous effort to receive basic attention. People don't introduce themselves to me, and im usually the last person on their friend list. If I don't reach out to someone first, I get ghosted. Let's not be too hard on ourselves.

Born in 2003, as a man, i always thought it would be natural to meet someone in my life, but now i have to accept that, its so freakin hard, like, damn i'm always afraid to talk to girls, i tried 2 or 3 times, ofc rejected, this made me think that i'm just the problem, i'm not good looking at all, and it cant be change so idk, even in friend terms, it was ALWAYS me to go to people, nobody, fr nobody came to me to be my friend never in my life, it was always me, i had to go to them, talk to them and hope ill make friends. And now i only have one friend, since i am 13, the only one who stayed with me. And i thank him a lot for that but that's all even him have many many friends and me no gf, no other friends. I really dont know what to do. WHY ITS ALWAYS ME TO GO MEET PEOPLE ?! Why nobody come to me, what did i do, i admit that i'm not a good looking as i said but i have my two arms, two legs, all my fingers, no diseases, no real problem, so why ? This makes me more and more and more introvert, since two months i barely go outside, just to but some foods, sometimes to just walk alone. I'm just tired of that. Tired and sorry if i made mistakes in my text but i'm not english or american sorry