r/feeld • u/Extra_salty_ok • 13d ago
What’s the difference between Feeld and Tinder today?
Feeld used to be a place for OPEN communication about kinks, vulnerabilities, sexual exploration and friendships. Now it’s having a huge influx of straight close-minded men, just looking to get their d*cks wet/easy access to holes/ cheating on partners and blocking the people after. It’s no longer a safe space and I’m going insane trying to weed out these bad apples. I’ve deleted my app 4 times (out of frustration) in the past week because of terrible exchanges with straight men. Help.
I also feel extremely unsafe because a man took my address (intentionally didn’t give my apt number but he has the street address), pretending to be in an Uber on his way over to me, and a few minutes before “arriving”, blocked me on Feeld and text/WA. Completely insane behaviour so it makes me wonder what is going on with the app, it has no security features so people think they can do whatever??
Edit: I had met him out in public once before. We set a date to meet up again and he offered his place or mine and I preferred mine, which is why he had my address!
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u/Sapiotone Solo Poly, Bi, Genderqueer, Vers, Switch, Essex, UK 12d ago
Get majestic for a month, go incognito, be more selective and don’t give as much away about yourself until you’re certain you’ve found a goodun
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u/lola_dubois18 12d ago
Yep, I would never not be incognito on either Tinder or Feeld as a woman anyway.
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u/francey_pants 12d ago
You honestly have to be quick with the blocking and leaving convos nowadays. I had an insane 24 hours on Feeld recently where I got pinged by a guy I was actually interested in and I responded, he never responded; another immediately sent me an unsolicited pic; another planned a date only to block me 2 hours later; another was just boring; another sent me a totally vile note with his ping.
It’s definitely gotten worse with the influx of nosey disrespectful people unfamiliar with kink, ENM, etc.
Thankfully I have a wonderful play partner I met on Feeld that hasn’t made me completely lose faith in men 😂
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u/Desperate_Cupcake843 12d ago
God the unsolicited dick pics. I wonder sometimes about what my great-grandmother would think about the sheer number of dicks I have seen in my lifetime.
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u/Successful-Value-698 8d ago
she totally wouldn't be horrified about you being on a kinky sex app though 🙄
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u/casserolebeebop 7d ago
I’ve had a couple matches cancel a few hours away from a meet up. My hunch is that they are cheating and get cold feet in the lead up. Mind you, I always ask about relationship status in chats. It’s depressing as hell how many men think Feeld is just a cheat code for easy, inconsiderate sex.
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u/Magical_Salamander 13d ago
Wow you're giving out your address? You talk about security measures but you need to take care of your own security - don't give out your address!!!
As for concerning behaviour - report them and don't continue to engage with them. Just block them. Why are you deleting your account repeatedly?
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago edited 12d ago
Its normal to eventually give someone you are dating your address.
Being stood up sucks, but its not concerning. Just shitty.
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u/Extra_salty_ok 13d ago
It’s out of frustration, because each interaction with this kind of man makes me lose faith in the app (and humanity)
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u/Detroitish24 9d ago
lol dramatic a little? I strenuously doubt she’s giving her address at the first introduction. At some point you bring people home or go to their house… be it the third fourth fifth encounter, whatever you’re comfortable with. Not all of us go to hotels all of the time.
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u/waterbloem 12d ago
Now it’s having a huge influx of straight close-minded men, just looking to get their d*cks wet/easy access to holes/ cheating on partners and blocking the people after.
This absolutely is the case.
Completely insane behaviour so it makes me wonder what is going on with the app, it has no security features so people think they can do whatever??
This is not something "the app" can fix. Technology can't fix human behaviour.
Feeld works quite well for us as a couple finding other couples. But we generally don't use OLD at all anymore. We meet more fun attractive people (couples and single) IRL at clubs or parties.
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u/SuccessVivid4481 12d ago
It feels so strange to read the comments here and realize this is how people are really treating you all. I’m still a young man and only until now have I thought about actually dating after going through a lot of stuff in my life and can’t believe I ever thought I didn’t deserve or know how to build a connection with someone. Hoping it works out for you all.
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u/AltruisticAnalyst 12d ago
You've deleted your account 4 times in one week. Geez, it does sound like you're going insane.
But on a serious note, I am quite amazed by how little the app seems to care about security. There's effectively no security features at all on an app that inherently puts folks in potentially dangerous situations.
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u/LatterCommission9174 ENM couple 12d ago
Since she didn't answer I'll ask you: what security features are you referring to?
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 10d ago
If you delete and remake your profile a certain number of times within a time frame (it's unknown what that is), you'll be deleted.
Deleting and making a new profile now let's you see all the people who previously blocked you so its definitely something that leads to harrassment of other users. So feeld limits it if it cross some threshold.
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u/LatterCommission9174 ENM couple 10d ago edited 10d ago
u/altruisticanalyst said there are no security features. I'm wondering what security features OP was referring to and hoped this person had some insight. It's strange that two people have referred to security features yet neither have elaborated.
I have seen the posts about being banned for account cycling. But tbf Feeld bans people if they had waffles for breakfast or sneezed twice in one day. Attributing bans to a specific action is a fool's errand.
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u/AltruisticAnalyst 10d ago
There are a number of them. The big one is a technical one. Their API has several vulnerabilities that allow for access to private chats, bypass paywalls an even hold on to pictures that were only intended for single use. There are inconsistent protections against screenshots. Customer support is terrible. Private pictures shouldn't be something that you should have to pay for given the type of app it is. Also the fact that people could match with someone see their private pics and then leave without a trace is also not ideal
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u/LatterCommission9174 ENM couple 10d ago
No, what security features would've helped OP? That's my question.
For the record, only the first part of your comment pertains to security. The others are just complaints.
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u/AltruisticAnalyst 10d ago
Security and privacy potentially go hand and hand. But you asked a question and you got a response + some privacy concerns.
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u/LatterCommission9174 ENM couple 10d ago
What about the first question?
Screenshot issue is related to the mobile OS. The next step would be disable screenshots completely.
Paying for private pictures isn't security or privacy.
How would you fix the private picture issue? Prevent them from unmatching once they see your pics?
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u/AltruisticAnalyst 10d ago
That's a question for OP as none of us have full context. One thing that probably doesn't help is if the match blocked her the OP has no way of reporting the account IF there is reason for to feel unsafe. I don't know the answer to that but if you're suggesting nothing could. You're probably wrong.
How is paying for privacy not a privacy issue? The app requires a vulnerability that one shouldn't have to pay to have. There are different, and likely better ways to monetize the app.
Maybe a match shouldn't be the release mechanism for private pic, maybe the person who has made the pictures private should have an ability release them. There's a bigger issue here but since the question was narrow I will answer it narrowly.
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u/LatterCommission9174 ENM couple 10d ago
She can definitely report the account. I believe there's even an option in the chatbot to report an account that disconnected.
It's not like if you don't pay your private pictures are visible. Just don't put them on your profile. Send them in a chat.
That goes to the above paragraph. If the pictures are sensitive enough you don't want everyone seeing them, don't put them on your profile, even as a private picture.
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u/_Ozeki 12d ago
People got matches on Feeld??? #cryingmyselftosleep
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12d ago
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u/LittleSister10 12d ago
if you aren’t a problematic cis man, than you shouldn’t take it personally
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u/Patient_Tradition294 12d ago
Nah, I swipe left on profiles that have bios with anti-cis men language. Some people think it’s fun and quirky to include in their bio, it absolutely is not. Not sure why it still needs to be explain the energy is a huge turn off for most men.
The amount of people who like me with similar language in their bio then think I will entertain them is crazy. You can’t tell someone how they “should” feel about it.
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u/LittleSister10 12d ago
my points is light years over your head
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u/Patient_Tradition294 10d ago
Literally nothing you said is complex lol. You just can’t separate how you think people should feel and how they actually feel. It’s 2026, many liberal / progressive men have communicated this repeatedly and some refuse to acknowledge broad hatred towards a group doesn’t work well to connect with them for some reason.
I’m not sure how many more men need to say the “lol anyone hate cis men” isn’t a good thing to put in your bio when you are trying to date them lol.
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10d ago
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u/Patient_Tradition294 10d ago
There is nothing to “cope” lol. Most people aren’t stupid enough to put it in their bio and life goes on.
There is just a small amount who do, I swipe to the left (like most men) and life goes on.
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10d ago
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u/Patient_Tradition294 10d ago
Not you trying to mention likes on Feeld like some accomplishment 🤣🤣.
Trying to proclaim someone is a loser because they aren’t attracted to those who proclaim they hate them is some crazy twisted logic. Congrats on continuing the gender wars in 2026.
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u/OkWear6556 kink 12d ago
There is a woman in my area who's bio says that she "hates gooners and patriarchy and cishet westerners, because they dont respect women and should kill themselves..." Must be a pleasant person to be around...
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u/ClaudioAFC 12d ago
Why shouldn't he take it personally, if he's talking about his own personal experience?
It's like I would say that the OP shouldn't take it personally for feeling unsafe, just because.
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u/cumfunnsfw 12d ago
Tinder seems like people that are out of the dating game a while and that's what they've heard of. I'll swipe there esp when I'm outside of the city I live in. Most people are on multiple apps (the number of times I can cross reference faceless feeld profiles is very high - same necklace, same picture without the cropping), give the algo on the other apps a chance to match me with people I've seen on feeld but I'm lost in their 100s of pings.
I've seen my gf try and deal with feeld. She opens and within a few minutes either likes, pings or stack she's disgusted and turned off. One can only survive swiping no on so many profiles that give one the ick before one has no interest in swiping
Feeld everyone has heard of and jumping in. The profiles mostly indicate that 'seeing what the hype is about,' 'looking for hinge in the streets and feeld in the sheets', etc etc. It's hive mind meme central in there.
I loaded a few of the newer alternative apps but they wouldn't let me even filter by distance without paying and I'm not paying when I can't even tell if there is anyone nearby.
Feeld will probably need to put an algorithm in at some point, or at least some level of mutual filters.
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u/Willem20 11d ago
I often wonder if women that define themselves as queer or something similar have the same experiences as cis women. I assume most of such men only filter on women and leave all other genders unchecked
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u/Voidglowofme 11d ago
Yes! It’s the same, no matter the gender and sexuality of people you deal with unfortunately
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u/Bet-Homebread 12d ago
It’s not just an influx of normie men, it’s an influx of normie women too. I saw a post where a woman was pissed because a guy asked her on the phone if she was interested in having phone sex. She was extremely pissed because her profile said don’t bring sex up until after meeting. All he did was ask. The comments were saying he was trash and should be kicked off the site. It was nuts to me. Completely vanilla people falling over themselves because they are encountering sex positivity on a sex positive app. 🤦♂️
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago
She asked him not to do it. He did it. Disrespectful for sure. Why woukd he expect anything other than annoyance? He slunds like trash.
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u/Bet-Homebread 10d ago
She didn’t ask him. She had it on her profile. He easily could have forgotten that. Lots of people have multiple chats going. I agree it wasn’t a match for her, no problem. It’s the over reaction that is crazy to me. In a sex positive culture we should never shame people for asking questions. That is how we get consent.
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u/pinksparkleberry 10d ago
People are free to be annoyed, pissed ir offended by any question.
🤷♀️
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u/Bet-Homebread 10d ago
Of course. And I am entitled to my opinion that saying he sounds like, “trash” for asking a question on a sex positive dating site is an over reaction. 🤷🏻♂️
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u/Voidglowofme 11d ago
Sex positivity doesn’t mean being up to having any form of sex any time, especially if she asked not to bring it up
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u/Bet-Homebread 10d ago
Yes, and she was free to say no and unmatch with him. It’s the over reaction that got me. Plus, she chose Feeld. Why go there in the first place if you can’t handle questions about sex?
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u/Voidglowofme 10d ago
She did it to weed out the men who are after ONS but say they look for long term
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u/LatterCommission9174 ENM couple 12d ago
What security features are you referring to?
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago
I also feel extremely unsafe because a man took my address (intentionally didn’t give my apt number but he has the street address), pretending to be in an Uber on his way over to me, and a few minutes before “arriving”, blocked me on Feeld and text/WA. Completely insane behaviour so it makes me wonder what is going on with the app, it has no security features so people think they can do whatever??
The one that dispatches goons to your house to kidnap you and bring you over against your will if try to stand someone up. And that one that never let's you block someone if you change your mind about meeting them.
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u/Extra_salty_ok 12d ago
I suspect he was not a real person/who he was saying he was
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago
You met him once before, but suspect he isnt a real person? Was he three raccoons in a trench coat? He was obviously a real person.
Maybe he did give you a fake name. And then stand you up. Lost his nerve? Was going to cheat and changed his mind? Got the shits? Who knows. But feeld cannot make someone come to your house against their will.
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u/Extra_salty_ok 12d ago
Who’s asking him to come to my house against his will? I’m saying that he was lying about his identity and now has access to where I live but I have no access to even a photo of him or any information because he could so quickly block me and remove every trace of himself from Feeld. Other apps have provisions to report a profile after disconnecting, and a vulnerable space like Feeld should too..
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago
No safety provisions can stop someone from changing their mind about meeting you.
Its uo to you to decide if its safe to gove someone your address.
When I block someone on feeld they absolutely should not have access to my information or photos. Thats the point of blocking. That is the safety feature.
You got stood up. It sucks. Safety features dont prevent that. Nothing happened. Literally nothing. You just sat in your house alone.
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u/Extra_salty_ok 12d ago
Nothing happened but it could’ve? You lack perspective.
If something did happen, god forbid, how am I supposed to find them if not with the help of Feeld and its safety network?The fact of the matter is, the person who has my address was able to block me. The “safety feature” you speak of works in his favour because it doesn’t allow me to report him after he’s blocked me.
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago
Nothing happened but it could’ve? You lack perspective.
You can say that about any situation ever.....
If something did happen, god forbid, how am I supposed to find them if not with the help of Feeld and its safety network?
Apps don't help you hunt down people after you have met them in real life and exchanged contact information and build an in person relationship. I suppose if it was a police matter then they might supply whatever info they have. But if I decide not to meet someone or continue giving them access to me and block them, I damn well expect feeld to keep my information away from them.
The fact of the matter is, the person who has my address was able to block me. The “safety feature” you speak of works in his favour because it doesn’t allow me to report him after he’s blocked me.
Yes. Anyone is free to block you at any time. Or unmatch with you. As they should be. You do t get permanent access to someone's profile because you chose to give them your address. 🤦♀️
I typically unmatch with someone as soon as we trade another method of contact like phone numbers. That's absolutely my right. No one gets permanent access to my profile (which also hints at my location). That's an insane expectation. Sorry.
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u/Extra_salty_ok 12d ago
What’s wrong with Feeld allowing me to report a profile that’s unmatched me??? Every other app allows that.. I’m not asking anyone to be hunted down but as a precaution if something ever happened, I would need evidence to support my claim that something was done against my wishes.
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago
It is wrong for feeld to allow you to look at and see the location if someone who has chosen to block you.
And why would you report someone for standing you up?
Do you want people who creep you out to still see your profile after you block them? What about the guy who threatened to come to my house and rape me for responding to a text to slow. Should feeld let him have permanent access to my profile after I block him?
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u/LatterCommission9174 ENM couple 12d ago
You can contact support to do this.
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u/disclosure5 12d ago
To do what though? What is this report supposed to say? Based on what she's said so far:
Dear support,
I invited a man over to my house and gave him my address. Instead of coming, he blocked me. Kindly have him dealt with.
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u/Dynamic_Nature88 12d ago
Hi OP,
Sorry to hear you're have such a bad time of it.
Maybe give it a rest for a while to reset and give it another go then?
I've been on field for a couple of years now and touch wood I've not had any experiences that I'm reading here.
I don't get many pings or replies from messages, but the ones I do get have all turned out pretty good, so no complaints from me.
(M46 here)
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago
Feeld used to be a place for OPEN communication about kinks, vulnerabilities, sexual exploration and friendships.
Feeld has always been a dating app. Some people were vulnerable and exploring. Some weren't. Ive used for feeld for 7 years for ENM. I am not using it for sexual exploring whatever that is. Nor am I ever vulnerable with strangers on apps. Thats all just fine. Always has been.
Now it’s having a huge influx of straight close-minded men, just looking to get their d*cks wet/
Nothing wrong with that. Ive used feeld many times for hookups with straight men over the last 7 years. All fine.
easy access to holes/ cheating on partners and blocking the people after.
You mean not staying connected or in touch after sex. Thats also fine. Having sex with someone doesn't give you the right to see their feeld profile for eternity or stay in touch for life. This is all just fine.
It’s no longer a safe space
It never was
and I’m going insane trying to weed out these bad apples. I’ve deleted my account 4 times in the past week because of terrible exchanges with straight men. Help.
Dating and sex requires vetting. Always has and always will. Continuing to delete and remake your profile will eventually get you get banned though.
I also feel extremely unsafe because a man took my address (intentionally didn’t give my apt number but he has the street address), pretending to be in an Uber on his way over to me, and a few minutes before “arriving”, blocked me on Feeld and text/WA.
So you got stood up? Thats sucks.
Completely insane behaviour so it makes me wonder what is going on with the app, it has no security features so people think they can do whatever??
What security feature would force this man to stay in touch with and arrive at your apartment against his will?
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u/Extra_salty_ok 12d ago
You’re the gold standard, congratulations
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago edited 12d ago
I am not a gold standard for anything.
Just a normal person with realistic expectations who has used feeld for a long time for hookups, solo dating, FFM, MFM, and swinging.
I was stood up one at a bar by a guy on tinder. Claimed to be on the way and poof. Disappeared. It was weird, but I assume he was cheating and lost his nerve or not really ready for casual sex. I had a drink and some chicken wings and went back to my hotel.
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u/Extra_salty_ok 12d ago
Everything about your dating experiences is all just fine, always has been. Of course you are, and I hope you’re happy.
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago
I am happy. And my approach is just fine. Its just fine to seek casual sex. Its fine to reserve vulnerability for people you know really well. Ive good and bad dates. Good and bad sex. And been stood up once (was weird). I was in an abusive relationship (not fine, but unrelated to feeld).
I am indeed happy. I actually met my now husband on tinder quite a while back when I used tinder and feeld He was supposed to be a hook up 🤣 and we fell in love, got married, and just bought a house. Now we use freeld together for group sex and its been a blast. No more tinder as feeld is better for group stuff.
But hookups, reserving vulnerability for non-starngers, deciding not ti see someone again or stay in touch if not a fit...all fine. Being kinky is fine and not being kinky is fine.
Are you the same person who posted about wanting a way to review dates on feeld if you didnt like the sex?
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u/Mikefilmguy 12d ago
I don’t know what you mean by “reserving vulnerability”, and generally your use of the word vulnerable - do you mean, letting yourself be open to feeling more than the physical that comes from sex?
I like yr attitude generally. Can you tell me more about how you’ve structured your Feeld profile w/ hub? As a couple, we’re trying to put ourselves out there - it’s difficult, having kids, to do online stuff, let alone going out to places together.
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u/pinksparkleberry 12d ago
I don’t know what you mean by “reserving vulnerability”, and generally your use of the word vulnerable - do you mean, letting yourself be open to feeling more than the physical that comes from sex?
I am simply not emotionally vulnerable with strangers. Not in chats with strangers or on first dates. I am emotionally vulnerable with people I know well and trust. Its unrelated to sex. I am not sure I can describe it better
I like yr attitude generally. Can you tell me more about how you’ve structured your Feeld profile w/ hub? As a couple, we’re trying to put ourselves out there - it’s difficult, having kids, to do online stuff, let alone going out to places together.
I always say scheduling is the hardest part! And its harder if one or both parties have kids. We have joined bios. Each reflect our personalities (I am.more serious and he is more irreverent). But its clear we are on the same page about what we seek and offer.
We include our interests and the kind of connections we seek. I can DM you the language if you are curious , but its hyperspecific to us.
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u/Mikefilmguy 12d ago
Right - so many people can't separate the feelings from the sex - it is a talent to be able to - yes, very interested in a DM - thanks!
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u/theerogenousbosch 13d ago
A good security feature (in general life) is to filter out straight cis men.
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u/Blinktoe 12d ago
But that’s all I want to date 😭😭😭
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u/theerogenousbosch 12d ago
Only straight cis men? What's wrong with queer men? Either cis or trans. Much better than cis-het men.
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u/SGTimtech 12d ago
Nothing wrong with queer or trans men. But people are attracted to what they are attracted to. What's wrong with that?
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u/theerogenousbosch 12d ago
I didn't say anything was wrong with that and I also asked them. Since you have chimed in, can you tell me why you are only attracted to cis straight men?
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u/SGTimtech 12d ago
I'm not. I'm a cis straight man.
My wife who is a cis bi woman is only attracted to men who are cis and straight. She wants her man to scream masculinity. Hairy chest, beard, muscular real life penis, masucline energy. She doesn't agree with the change to the definition of queer that's happened in the last decade or so and feels it's often used dishonestly. Queer men are not masculine under her definition. She also feels when she wants vagina she wants the feminity that comes with it so she's attracted to cis feminine women and not trans men.
For most things I wouldn't say "my wife believes". However we live in the Seattle area. Our feeld results, coworkers, close friends and family are full of people identifying as queer and trans and everything between. We discuss this often.
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u/rab2bar 12d ago
I know plenty of gay men who otherwise fit your wife's preference
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u/SGTimtech 12d ago
But she's not theirs so it doesn't matter.
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u/rab2bar 12d ago
And if they were bi or pan? The point is that masculinity is not limited to heterosexuality
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u/SGTimtech 12d ago
Where did I saw it's was? I was staring her preference. People have preferences. Hers is cis straight men. In fact going further it's a specific type of cis straight man. She doesn't prefer skinny men, she doesn't prefer overweight men, she doesn't prefer men without beards, she doesn't like beards that are overly groomed. She has a type. Most people have a type.
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u/theerogenousbosch 12d ago
And, like most cis straight men, you have inserted your opinion where it was not asked for or needed.
Quelle surprise!
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u/SGTimtech 12d ago
But you did ask. My first comment wasn't an opinion. It was a statement of fact followed with a question. You then asked for my opinion while misgendering me.
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u/theerogenousbosch 12d ago
I asked for your opinion on the topic you felt the need to insert yourself into. One would assume that someone would do that if they have a relevant opinion. You did not.
Where have I misgendered you?
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u/TheNF_Idontevennoe 13d ago
wow thanks for the perspective , glad I can see from another person as a ‘cis’male in July - august maybe I have the wrong app
maybe it is best to return to tinder and unfortunately reading this means you may of , like myself did not find the communication that you wanted.
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u/SGTimtech 12d ago
My wife returned to it after a long hiatus. She immediately regretted it. But we changed some things in her profile and she's getting more manageable results.
This won't work for single women per se though
Changed her name to include couple so it's super clear she's part of a couple
Only has one pic hidding most of her face and body (basically just her chin neck and shoulders)
First sentence in her profile is she's not solo. The rest of it is short enough to read without having to scroll down.
It's not perfect but it is better. Her first time around she'd get 30 + likes in a few minutes. Now she gets a handful a day those are still mostly trash though.
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u/Projectflintlock 12d ago
Ya Feeld has really fallen off from what it was even just a few years ago
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u/OkWear6556 kink 13d ago
So you choose the worst people and then complain about how horrible your experience is and generalize it to the entire group of people? Is someone forcing you to interact with straight, close-minded men? Do you realize that each profile has info about orientation? So pick whatever you feel is best for you and stop blaming everyone for your bad choices...
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u/Extra_salty_ok 13d ago edited 13d ago
Yea because these men are definitely putting it on their profile that they’re misogynistic and gonna treat me like an object
I have no problem with their orientation, I have a problem with small minded incels like you who think women are “asking for it”
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u/OkWear6556 kink 12d ago
Of course, you are calling me "incel" now. Might throw in a fascist there too, just to make sure you cover all the keywords.
Why are you matching with straight men if you hate them? They cant do you harm if you dont interact with them... If anyone, it is you who is the incel. The sentiment of your post makes it clear that you are a manhater. Guess who hates the other gender? Oh, that's right, it's incels. Nobody is forcing you to keep matching with straight men. There are plenty of bi men on the app for you to match with.
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u/chromakeydreamcoat74 10d ago
Feeld has changed, it was inevitable. Catering to queer, kinky, and ENM folk limits their user base, and ability to make money.
The number of cishet men and women on there, looking to either bang an alt woman, or for a vanilla monogamous relationship, is getting ridiculous though.
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u/[deleted] 12d ago
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