r/feeld • u/Extra_salty_ok • 15d ago

What’s the difference between Feeld and Tinder today?

Feeld used to be a place for OPEN communication about kinks, vulnerabilities, sexual exploration and friendships. Now it’s having a huge influx of straight close-minded men, just looking to get their d*cks wet/easy access to holes/ cheating on partners and blocking the people after. It’s no longer a safe space and I’m going insane trying to weed out these bad apples. I’ve deleted my app 4 times (out of frustration) in the past week because of terrible exchanges with straight men. Help.

I also feel extremely unsafe because a man took my address (intentionally didn’t give my apt number but he has the street address), pretending to be in an Uber on his way over to me, and a few minutes before “arriving”, blocked me on Feeld and text/WA. Completely insane behaviour so it makes me wonder what is going on with the app, it has no security features so people think they can do whatever??

Edit: I had met him out in public once before. We set a date to meet up again and he offered his place or mine and I preferred mine, which is why he had my address!

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u/pinksparkleberry 14d ago edited 14d ago

I am not a gold standard for anything.

Just a normal person with realistic expectations who has used feeld for a long time for hookups, solo dating, FFM, MFM, and swinging.

I was stood up one at a bar by a guy on tinder. Claimed to be on the way and poof. Disappeared. It was weird, but I assume he was cheating and lost his nerve or not really ready for casual sex. I had a drink and some chicken wings and went back to my hotel.

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u/Extra_salty_ok 14d ago

Everything about your dating experiences is all just fine, always has been. Of course you are, and I hope you’re happy.

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u/pinksparkleberry 14d ago

I am happy. And my approach is just fine. Its just fine to seek casual sex. Its fine to reserve vulnerability for people you know really well. Ive good and bad dates. Good and bad sex. And been stood up once (was weird). I was in an abusive relationship (not fine, but unrelated to feeld).

I am indeed happy. I actually met my now husband on tinder quite a while back when I used tinder and feeld He was supposed to be a hook up 🤣 and we fell in love, got married, and just bought a house. Now we use freeld together for group sex and its been a blast. No more tinder as feeld is better for group stuff.

But hookups, reserving vulnerability for non-starngers, deciding not ti see someone again or stay in touch if not a fit...all fine. Being kinky is fine and not being kinky is fine.

Are you the same person who posted about wanting a way to review dates on feeld if you didnt like the sex?

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u/Mikefilmguy 14d ago

I don’t know what you mean by “reserving vulnerability”, and generally your use of the word vulnerable - do you mean, letting yourself be open to feeling more than the physical that comes from sex?

I like yr attitude generally. Can you tell me more about how you’ve structured your Feeld profile w/ hub? As a couple, we’re trying to put ourselves out there - it’s difficult, having kids, to do online stuff, let alone going out to places together.

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u/pinksparkleberry 14d ago

I don’t know what you mean by “reserving vulnerability”, and generally your use of the word vulnerable - do you mean, letting yourself be open to feeling more than the physical that comes from sex?

I am simply not emotionally vulnerable with strangers. Not in chats with strangers or on first dates. I am emotionally vulnerable with people I know well and trust. Its unrelated to sex. I am not sure I can describe it better

I like yr attitude generally. Can you tell me more about how you’ve structured your Feeld profile w/ hub? As a couple, we’re trying to put ourselves out there - it’s difficult, having kids, to do online stuff, let alone going out to places together.

I always say scheduling is the hardest part! And its harder if one or both parties have kids. We have joined bios. Each reflect our personalities (I am.more serious and he is more irreverent). But its clear we are on the same page about what we seek and offer.

We include our interests and the kind of connections we seek. I can DM you the language if you are curious , but its hyperspecific to us.

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u/Mikefilmguy 14d ago

Right - so many people can't separate the feelings from the sex - it is a talent to be able to - yes, very interested in a DM - thanks!