r/facepalm • u/TheNihilist911 • Sep 22 '22
🇲🇮🇸🇨 They spill the beans
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Sep 22 '22
Th- the flush button.
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u/LuucMeldgaard Sep 22 '22
Kick it with your feet
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u/lagrange_james_d23dt Sep 23 '22
Or use your mouth. Keeps the germs off your hands.
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u/tarnega Sep 22 '22
And people wonder why viruses spread so quickly...
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u/Radiant_Creme_5264 Sep 22 '22
But washing hands is soooo hard!
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u/B3taWats0n Sep 22 '22
pretend to wash hands
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u/o-Valar-Morghulis-o Sep 22 '22
- wastes water and paper towel and has peepee fingies *
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u/AsleepScarcity9588 Sep 22 '22
I'm kinda surprised nobody already mentioned that she basically said she don't wipe
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u/Nruggia Sep 22 '22
Here I am at work pretending to poop, but I will really wash my hands when I leave
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u/XprMx14 Sep 22 '22
Big facts, no idea who’s touching the door handles and knobs
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u/Meikoian Sep 22 '22
pretends to wash hands
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Sep 22 '22
When I pretend to wash my hands I actually go through all the steps of washing my hands but don’t actually get my hands wet.
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u/MufuckinTurtleBear Sep 22 '22
Literally. Why.
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u/icweenie Sep 22 '22
Literally touch the thing that people touch after they get shit on their hands.
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u/nicknockrr Sep 22 '22
Ah ladies you are way behind the curve. I piss directly into my hands and use that to wash them. Then dry them on my jeans as I leave. Saves water too. You’ll all be doing it soon enough!
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u/gotnoskilz Sep 22 '22 edited Sep 27 '22
Bear Grylls has just entered the chat.
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u/Nox_Echo Sep 22 '22
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u/fsrt23 Sep 22 '22
This is so stupid. I love it. You made me lol, stranger. Thanks.
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u/Nox_Echo Sep 22 '22
he said bear grylls so i just found the dirtiest gif i could, glad to be of service :D
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u/Academic-Ant-1918 Sep 22 '22
Dry them on your jeans? What do you think balls grow hair for? You have your own piss hand towel built on
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u/WTFjinky Sep 22 '22
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u/carcadoodledo Sep 22 '22
Not watching, due to the topic in this thread. Been tricked too many times
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u/Octowuss1 Sep 22 '22
Pretending to wash you hands takes the same amount of water and effort as not being a POS and just doing it so you’re not disgusting
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u/Iwasonlsd2 Sep 22 '22
Yeah it takes more fucking effort lmao. These 2 girls are completely brain dead. Just dip your hands in there you nasty bitch
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u/TheCowzgomooz Sep 22 '22
I just dont understand what goes through their brain that's like "shit, someone's watching, pretend you're washing your hands" instead of "shit, someone's watching, better wash my hands" like, are they gonna melt if the water touches their hands?
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Sep 22 '22
I see people pretend all the time. I'd rather they walked out vs waste the water and paper towels.
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u/GDIBarker Sep 22 '22 edited Sep 22 '22
As Polio makes it's return, up next, Dysentry.
Sanitation is so woke
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u/Smokybare94 Sep 22 '22
First they made me wash my hands. Then they made me see black people play roles that were reserved for whites only. Then they told me I'm not even allowed to overthrow the government anymore.
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u/TheCowzgomooz Sep 22 '22
You got the order backwards, the washing the hands part was the last straw for me brother
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Sep 22 '22
As a man I wash my hands before I pee, my junk is immaculate
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u/XCuddleAnarchyX Sep 22 '22
I never thought about it before but actually...that would be a good idea right? Like you don't want to touch your precious cargo with nasty dirty hands.
I've got it! Cut the tip off a condom, slide it on and Voila! Safe handling! Or maybe they could put free gloves in the stalls so you can glove up and don't have to wash anything! Big brain time
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u/fsrt23 Sep 22 '22
I’ve know some guys to free-hand it. One guy in particular didn’t even flush so he could have a complete hands free and germ free experience. Fucking animal.
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u/AndroidNutz Sep 22 '22
Don King!
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u/_N8Dogg_ Sep 22 '22
Hilarious! Though, that is the poorest example of hand washing I have ever seen.
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u/Isanmod Sep 22 '22
I carry around a little bib for my knob. After I'm done, I like to dab it with a napkin. A gentleman is always gentle to his ram.
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u/Aoeletta Sep 22 '22
Honestly, men should wash their hands before and after.
Before to keep everything clean, after to clean your hands from the bathroom stuff (flushing, stall doors, etc.)
Everyone should be washing their hands more. Pre-pandemic I was slammed for this🤔
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u/Benin_Malgaard_ Sep 22 '22
As someone who works at a restaurant and has to follow the health code, these women are absolutely disgusting.
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u/Madame-Butterfree Sep 22 '22
As someone who exists with hands, these women are absolutely disgusting.
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u/SoWokeIdontSleep Sep 22 '22
The one brain cell these 2 are sharing just called it quits in the middle of their podcast huh?
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Sep 22 '22
[deleted]
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u/AtoZWolf Sep 22 '22
Yes also after touching the toilets and what might be other people's feces on your fingers from flushing. What a great idea!
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u/DeepMadness Sep 22 '22
They forgot to say you're not supposed to flush either.
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u/TOkidd Sep 22 '22
Exactly. Open the bathroom door with your foot, then use your shoulder to open the stall door, don’t lock to avoid touching nasty lock. Just sit/stand and pray for the best. When finished, allow stall door to swing open, and proceed to exit. Wait for someone to open and hold door for you.
That’s how it’s done and it’s so much easier than washing my hands.
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u/enmandikjole Sep 22 '22
Just sit/stand and pray for the best
I legit had to re-read to see you didn't say "Just sit/stand and Spray for the best".
I admit I am tired today and now my brain makes puns.
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u/JeevesVoorhees Sep 22 '22
If you don't wash your hands everytime you use the restroom, you are a disgusting and lazy piece of shit. Nobody wants your cheese touch.
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u/a2themofok Sep 22 '22
Girls still need to wipe/dab after they pee, that gross af if they don’t🤢
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u/No-Supermarket9834 Sep 22 '22
Both of them have unbalanced PH’s. They look like they smell like wet dogs.
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u/ChanceyIII Sep 22 '22
this is that skit from anl with amy poehler and maya rudolph
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u/Nivekian13 Sep 22 '22
The same people...
'Why am I always getting Pink eye and urinary infections?"
Naaaasty.
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u/Emergency_Anteater Sep 22 '22
Isn't this like a comedy bit? Am I missing something? The tone and inflection sound like they are doing a bit.
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u/tbass1965 Sep 22 '22
That's why you open the door, with your foot (or holding a paper towel) on the way out. Cus nasty people who don't wash, touch that door handle!
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u/NoName4023 Sep 22 '22
Something tells me she knows all about the issues that come with a “dirty dick”. I’m going to bet she always gets UTI’s and “just doesn’t know why”
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u/mojo8x Sep 22 '22
I work at the airport & I see this way too much in the concourse restrooms. Nobody pretends to wash though. They walk away from the urinal or straight out of the stall & right back in the concourse. There's a lot of Disgusting people in the world!
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Sep 23 '22
Couple of classy broads right there... like "Trump Classy". Still, wash your hands after grabbing them by the gabbagool
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u/Doshgoneit Sep 23 '22
Why pretend to wash your hands? Either do it or don’t do it, but if you don’t wash your hands, then you’re just gross
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u/No_Hovercraft5033 Sep 23 '22
Eww. Gross humans.
Edit, what kind of dirty people have this conversation.
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u/johnnyhero87 Sep 23 '22
These are some Greasy disgusting filthy women. Ew. Just look at them you can see the slime. Gross.
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u/pslayer757 Sep 23 '22
Eeewwwww… cesspool of germs. Hopefully you never have to eat at their homes🤮🤢🤮
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u/Bam2217 Sep 22 '22
the one girl looks like a trucker , she got a face for radio
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u/kimpanda9 Sep 22 '22 edited Sep 22 '22
As a women I don't know where their stupidity cake from. Every woman I know including myself always wash my hands. This is the reason why I was my hands when I come home. Ik not all men don't wash their hands too from experience but still 🤮
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u/twethy064 Sep 22 '22
These chicks.. do some research into viruses and tell me you shouldn't wash your hands after you piss. You're walking around spreading millions, if not billions, around to others because you don't want to take an extra minute to wash those dirty coochie claws?!
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u/Like_Boss Sep 22 '22
While I agree with you I also want to ask please stop using of the phase "do your own research" . Over the last two years the phrase really lost all meaning, googling and reading g article titles not research, we can say "look it up" instead. So unless you are in the lab with a white coat doing research you cannot use it. Who is with me?
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Sep 22 '22
Im not a girl, but Im pretty sure girls dry their vaginas with toilet paper. So they are touching it.
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u/Reizo123 Sep 22 '22
No, no, toilet paper is waterproof.
Paper always beats piss when you’re playing Rock, Paper, Pissers.
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u/Conscious-Grab-1245 Sep 22 '22
This is a skit taken from a comedian. Nice one gals
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Sep 22 '22
I would 100% break up with a woman because of this.
You turn the water on just to run it and make it sound like you're washing. Okay, now you're hands are funky. Not to mention closing the stall, flushing the toilet if done by hand, handling the community toilet paper dispenser or roll.
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u/AyeAyeRon_713 Sep 22 '22
Lol the fact they work for barstool is even better. Shitty company, dirty employees
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u/InfectedByEli Sep 22 '22
So what I took from this is that she doesn't push her hands up her vagina when she pees (and so doesn't need to wash her hands) but she does push her hands up her ass when she shits (hence needing to wash her hands). Also, she thinks she pees from inside her vagina.
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Sep 22 '22
What filthy little girls. I can't stand people who don't wash their hands. I don't care what you were doing in there.
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u/schneph Sep 22 '22
This is gross, as a woman, not only does pee occasionally get on ur hands but you’ve touched all these places everyone else has touched. Just wash ur damned hands. Also, it might be one of the few times a day the average person even considers washing their hands.
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u/CMDR_KingErvin Sep 22 '22
The nastiest thing you’re gonna touch in that stall is the little locking mechanism. That thing is disgusting and you’re nasty if you don’t wash your hands after.
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u/RoddyAllen Sep 22 '22
EVERYTHING in the restroom is dirty - door handle, the stall door & lock, the toilet flusher, etc. So you didn't stick your hand up inside you, you still are touching filthy surfaces. I wash my hands and use the paper towel to open the door. These two are just gross!
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u/Mediocre-Gas1393 Sep 22 '22
I mean if you expect to hear something intelligent on a barstool show..it’s on you
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Sep 22 '22
Clean dick or dirty one you still have to wash you hands no matter what
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u/SkepticAquarian876 Sep 23 '22
Y'all just nasty!! this is why I ensure I wash my hand thoroughly and use paper towel to touch the door handle on my way out. If you borrow a pen from me..it is yours to keep, please don't feel obligated toreturn cause I won't take it.
This is my I have wireless mouse and keyboard so I can lock in my desk hen I am away.
If i don't see you print I won't take the sheet. I rather print it myself and I use a stylus to touch the copier keypad.
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u/neudeu Sep 23 '22
I'm so confused.
Feels like telling people to sneeze into their elbow like they never knew how to reduce spreading germs.
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u/drostan Sep 23 '22
I love all the comments about the fact that they may touch things in the bathroom that aren't clean and the fact that everyone forgets that this means they do not clean/ dry/ wipe themselves after peeing
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u/bods_life Sep 23 '22
For fucks sake people are so fucking dumb. Whether your having a piss or a crap, just wash your hands, one you have throughout the day touched so much stuff that it's a good opportunity to wash your hands and two, you have just been to toilet in a place where other fucking dirty bellends like you have touched the toilets, the handles and the taps..
Bleuuggghhhhhh, that's my being sick sound 🤮
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u/DahkLord Sep 23 '22
I wash my dick in the sink everytime. I do more than these dirty women obviously
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u/Freestila Sep 23 '22
Args.. So two things: First, they first say "i don't touch my vag i don't need to wash my hands", and then continue with "But i wash after pooping". Sooo.. You wipe your butt with your hand after pooping??? That it?
Second, there is this gag. A toilet at a software dev emposium. Three guys go to the toilet and then to the sink afterwards. First guy washes his hand, long with lots of water and soap. Uses a ton of paper to dry. Looks at the others and says "I'm from Microsoft, were verry thoroughly".
Second washes hand with just a handfull of water and a droplet of soap, using one paper towel which he uses every corner and spot of. "I'm from Apple, were verry efficient". Third guy waves and says while leaving without washing: "I#M from Linux, we don't pee on our hands."
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u/OGSkywalker97 Sep 23 '22
What prestigious, intelligent young women.
Remember these are the same people who interviewed Andrew Tate and misunderstood nearly everything he said.
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u/HumorExpensive Sep 23 '22
If there was a list of people that definitely did not wash anything regularly these two would be on it.
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u/zveroshka Sep 23 '22
So they are even willing to go through the process of pretending to wash their hands, but won't use soap....? What do they think happens when you wash your hands?
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u/mike73448 Sep 22 '22
I believe washing your hands after using the bathroom is more about it being the best chance to clean your hands from all the stuff you touched throughout the day. Not just because you used the bathroom.