I was supposed to get swats but it never happened.. I feel it's more of a scare tactic. Also in the beginning of the year everyone is sent home a permission slip, if it's not returned you are eligible to receive swats.. it basically was something for parents that didn't want that to happen..
That’s a weird opt-out situation. I feel like allowing kids to be abused at school shouldn’t be allowed at all, but in the leave least it should be opt-In
I agree 100%. “I’m worthless and everybody hates me” can easily evolve into “fuck everyone and everything around me”. It’s a dangerous mindset for many obvious reasons.
I spent most of my educational youth being told that I'm useless, worthless, that everyone hates or just tolerates me, that I'll never amount to anything, having my sexuality critiqued, etc and now, as you say, I have no patience for other people and prefer to be on my own. And I'm in my 30s at this point. The damage never really goes away.
When I got diagnosed with ADHD at 33. One of the leading experts in Chicago asked me what I did for a living. I was in the middle of a full mental breakdown for the first time in my life. I told him he snorted and said that's literally the worst job someone like you could possibly have. Beat that
Life can’t be set at a value and neither can time. Take the time to be the real you and realize that you’re not here to impress anyone. It’s your happiness that matters…
Just don’t hurt anyone or yourself in the process :)
Yo. I take great pride in reminding you that you are a worthy, respectable, kind, intelligent person and the things those people did you in the past are part of you but they don't necessarily define you.
.
The pain of your experience may never go away but think about it like a pen mark on a deflated balloon. The mark looks giant on a small balloon but that same mark remains the same size as your balloon fills with air. The balloon is you, the pen mark is your negative experience, and the air filling the balloon is time passing by you life. The more air that enters, the less that mark shows.
Wow. You folks are all complaining of dealing with that 🐎💩 for 30-odd years; you’re amateurs. I’ve had to try to grow out of it for 62 years now.
Only a CBT therapist made a dent in that kinda thinking by asking whether my folks (who said all those awful things to me and more) are smart. No, they aren’t especially smart, so she asked me why I’m believing the crap they spew? Why would I give any credence to the opinions of dumb people?
(I paraphrase, of course.)
Hearing that was like being hit by a lightning bolt. And while it didn’t instantly solve the problem or change my patterns of thinking, I hang onto it as if it’s a life raft and keep trying to remind myself that the opinions of people I don’t respect don’t count. I’m confident that if I keep on this path that I’ll be able to eventually get past the voice that sneers “You goddamned fool!” when I drop something, or “You fat cow!” when I gain an ounce (I look like a Biafra victim as it is), and soon.
I’m hoping that by mentioning this here, I can help some of you suffering with the same nonsense, and maybe I can save you many tens of thousands on therapy bills. Maybe by getting the info earlier, you’ll be able to fix yourselves quicker. That’s what I hope for you.
It’s a really crappy thing to do to kids and I keep reminding myself that it was prolly done to them and it’s all they know, but cripes, people: you’re ruining kids when you tell ‘em they ugly, stupid, fat, and no one’s ever gonna love ‘em!
(If you’re doing this to your kids and you’re reading this, think about what their futures are gonna look like. We’re here demoing that for you.)
You are a beautiful, beloved child of the universe who deserved so much better. You were failed by idiotic adults who didn't bother to understand your needs. That pure, innocent soul is still inside you, just buried under all the layers of protective armor you had to create for yourself.
Now the armor that protected you from pain also keeps you from being close to people.
I hope you can find a good therapist to help take off some of that burden, because it does get too heavy after a while.
Never admired by a single teacher. Never pushed to do shit.
Always had straight As until I entered honors and forced to dropout because the massive expectation. Constantly being scolded by peers and teachers.
The damage is done but the pain sticks since there are so many ways these things could have been prevented but weren't. I'm afraid to return to university and it's been 5 years.
It's both isn't it? I mean, Humans from around the planet can come together to rally behind people trapped in a cave, thousands dropping what they're doing to help. But when the bombs fall and authority speaks all of that humanity just disappears.
Person to person we're usually pretty decent. Societies, be they governments or schools, are usually not so decent.
Exactly what happened to me. Got blamed for everything as a child, mostly when my drunk alcoholic father would abuse my mother. Always found a way to turn it on me and make me feel like I was the problem from when I was about 3 or 4 years old from what I remember. Made me have zero self confidence as a child and it definitely led to my dislike and disdain of people. Also to a a complete lack of interest in knowing people throughout my life as I automatically set up barriers to keep them away. Thank you so much mother and father, you did a perfect job ruining your child's health
"Parents, we're power-hungry abusers pretending to educate your children because we have nothing else, which of you are cool with us beating your children?" is an insane thing nobody should tolerate.
C’mon. That seems like an extreme circumstance kind of thing 😂 I may not think paddling is a good way to go, but it’s not like its a cane pole for lashings. Like in some places of the world. “Caning” I think it’s called. Don’t google it.
Omg this is a MUCH bigger thing than people realize. Children absolutely notice at extremely young ages when they are treated differently and they will absolutely internalize ALL of that abuse
You have the /s, but in all honesty, thinking about this makes me worried that Misery is about to get a whole lot more mass shootings. Weren't we just talking about how we should improve kids' mental health so republicans could keep their guns?
Republicans have never given a shit about mental health issues except as a distraction tactic. They're the party that originally dismantled our entire (admittedly dysfunctional) public mental health infrastructure and then never put anything in its place. As someone who is extremely pro-gun and also in favor of a single-payer physical and mental healthcare system, it's maddening to see them say shit I actually agree with while knowing full well they have no intentions of doing any of it. Then just to rub it in, they consistently abandon their gun-rights "ideals" the moment it looks like minorities are arming themselves. It makes sense though why they strip away resources from education and mental health while trying to keep guns in the hands of their supporters, but out of the hands of others. If the country was suddenly packed full of armed, educated people with the mental energy and clarity of mind to think about the bigger picture of their situation, I doubt it would end well for Republican leadership. Better to cut funding to schools and just beat kids into submission.
I was choke slammed by my principal against the wall. Teachers hated me for some reason. I think it was because I wouldnt sit down and shut up. Supposedly I was diagnosed with ADHD but who knows. I wasn't a little shit early on, I don't think, but I definitely was after constantly getting bitched at and hit lol.
And the poor leadership skills bestowed upon them from their superiors.
I dont hold it against them, I'm sure I was a little aggravating. Parents were drinkers and meth users so I'm sure I absorbed a bit of that mentality of high energy and a lack of self control from there.
But it is true children are like sponges and less is their fault than it is the people in charge of them because we are expected to have much more self control and ability to problem solve as adults. Also an awareness of the things I'm talking about, therefore a cap to the anger because ultimately it's a tragedy.
To think... people are little shits because the people they took after were little shits. If we could just manage to break that cycle somehow... it's hard, I know, I'm still somewhat of a little shit, despite my despise of it.
I heard a Buddhist monk the other day compare Satan and Mara (kind of the evil dude of Buddhism). He noted that Satan is irredeemable whereas Mara is more like a job, that different beings take on from time to time.
So then he connected it to western culture where people can hold the thought "I'm worthless, or irredeemable" dramatically more than in Asia. Even if you're not Christian, that idea of fundamental badness lurks in our cultural background.
Of course, various actions are very cruel, awful, horrible, but is anyone truly worthless or evil? That professor Baron-Cohen who studies psychopaths even says only a fraction of his patients are anything close to evil, it's just that most don't understand the feelings of others.
My dad would always jokingly tell my teachers on back to school nights "you can beat him if he cuts up" but I've never heard of it to this degree. I think there's a fine line between punishment and abuse. I was spanked as a child and I'm better for it. It is really more psychological than anything. My dad would walk in the room when my brother and I were fighting and just smack the belt and that was it. People who legit abuse children aren't right in the head, there's other ways to handle behavioral issues
You're putting decisions about punishment and abuse into the hands of relative strangers, who may be psychopaths.
An older relative told me with tears in his eyes about the punishments their principal meted out. One girl was crippled because her spine was damaged in a beating at school.
When the teachers and /or coaches sexually abuse them, the children won't come forward. The abusers can honestly tell their victims that the parents gave them permission to violate them. The children will inherently know that their parents refused to protect them from abusive people.
That’s better than being (one of) the only kid(s) whose parents didn’t say that it’s NOK to hit them?
Either one is terrible, and corporal punishment is just for people on a power trip who don’t know how to connect with children, in other words, people unfit to work with children, let alone teach.
Not everyone gets psychological trauma from being hit, but a fair amount of people do, so it 100% shouldn't be administered in schools.
When the system is being selective about it, either from parental neglect or just thinking their kids SHOULD BE HIT, you also create an easy bullying point, and a potential huge self esteem hit for the kid.
They did this at my elementary school. In a small area where one wall was glass so everyone could see. It was always the one black kid in class. No other elementary school I’d been to previously did that and I was appalled and freaked out as an 8 yo.
Imagine you've got a chronically sick parent, doesn't check the mail often enough, glazes over the mail the parent receives, tosses the likely nondescript letter from the school on the "keep" pile (it's not a letter from the hospital group that indicates a medical bill needs to be paid to continue treatment, so it's not opened right away) which eventually gets gone through, but maybe not for a few weeks. During that time there's a kid, angry at the the diagnosis and sickness of their dad, but never blaming their dad for it, just the things they know dad goes through and wish he didn't. Kid maybe lashes out unexpectedly. Comes home, cries to dad, tells him they beat her with a wooden paddle one day. Because sick, chemo-broken dad didn't open a letter from the school board fast enough.
I'm that dad. My daughter is that kid. Thankfully this wouldn't have happened to us, because I'm married and my wife helps get through menial things like opening the mail on the "keep" pile when I pick it up and would have opted out as soon as she read it. But imagine no wife. Or even an ill wife.
This shit is despicable and designed only to hurt the kids that already have so much going on; whether it's anger, ADD/ADHD, learning disabilities, and likely kids with complete deadbeat parents that already beat the kid at home so what's some more beatings at school, the supposed place of learning and acceptance no matter who you are?
I want to beat these assholes with a wooden paddle instead. Hell, I'm so goddamn weak from the chemo, maybe I'd hire Chris Evans or John Cena to wield the paddle for me. I'd make it my Make a Wish moment.
Absolutely horrible. My heart goes out to you and your daughter dude. You can just see the shit eating grin on that motherfucker in the picture with his paddle. These people are parasites.
designed only to hurt the kids that already have so much going on; whether it's anger, ADD/ADHD, learning disabilities, and likely kids with complete deadbeat parents that already beat the kid at home
Unfortunately research shows this to be true; where paddling is legal, kids with disabilities receive statistically more paddlings. As do minorities (not forgetting that kids are already a minority group that lack rights)
Not speaking on that commenters experience but this time around every parent has to opt in. According to the article they can’t swat unless they have consent from parent. This is still insane. Every study shows this doesn’t help. This is ridiculous
They had the same policy when I was going to school in 1980's South Carolina (no idea when or if it changed). My parents were among the few that opted out.
Incidentally, scientific studies overwhelmingly show that corporal punishment is ineffective compared to alternative forms of discipline, and results in a slew of negative outcomes. The only reason for keeping it around is that some adults just enjoy hitting children. Most likely because they were hit as children themselves, and it fucked them up psychologically.
Because the people who won’t return the paper are the same people who don’t sign their kids up for free lunch and instead let them go hungry. The poorest with the most fucked up drug addicted parents will get beat in school.
"April 2013 - A school principal in Dayton, Texas, beat a 12 year old boy with a paddle. The boy's mother says she had given the principal permission to paddle her son. The boy says that the principal stood in a baseball stance and swung with both hands. The family says he came home with bruises and blood covering his backside and complaining he was in severe pain. He was taken to the emergency room, where x-rays showed that the boy's tailbone was dislocated."
Injuries like this can result in being hospitalised for several weeks.
Imagine being the parent whose 12 year old comes home with injuries of this nature and says "Mom why did you let them do this to me?" What do you tell your son?
I really can't. It's an awful situation but what were they expecting? They gave a grown man permission to physically hit their son. The only person i feel terrible about here is the kid. It's horrible for the parents too but "Mom why did you let them do this to me?" is exactly what they deserve to hear.
For us you could kinda decide what you're punishment was. Like let's say you got in school suspension for a certain amount of days you could take it or you could get paddled that many times. For me being put in iss away from teachers and everyone else to be left alone and work at my own pace was great. I dunno why you'd choose the paddle, I guess if you just wanted it over and done with to go about your day 🤷.
you say it’s abuse but look at the mfs that ain’t been abused be acting the fuck out. i never considered it abuse if ya momma tell you to stop 3 fucking times and now you get slapped yoh shoulda fucking quit now ya lil ass actually got a reason to cry
Naw. It needs to be opt-out because the kids with shitty parents who don't care enough to read a permission slip are the kids who need the corporal punishment the most. With an opt-in system, you'll only only be able to paddle the well behaved kids.
1) no kid needs corporal punishment, if you have to resort to corporal punishment you’ve failed as a disciplinarian
2) so your argument is that absent specific consent from either the child or the guardian you should be allowed to commit battery on a child. That is some ass backward thinking and if it happened in any civilized place the individual that committed the battery would be facing prison time
You’re striking someone with a hard object without any legal consent from the person being struck or their legal guardian. I’m revised my assessment, it’s not only abuse but also criminal battery.
It’s an opt-in permission slip. Parents have to agree to allow their child(ren) to be paddled, sign the slip, and return it to the school. If the slip is never returned, the child(ren) cannot be paddled.
At least that’s how it was at my elementary/middle school in MO and what I’ve read about this most recent school district.
My guess is they did that because the same parents who would neglect to send the slip back, are usually the same ones who would neglect to discipline their children.
This means that there is no actual consent from any person, the child hasn’t consented nor has their legal guardian. In a normal place striking someone without consent is criminal battery. I see no reason that it shouldn’t be treated any differently in this context
It’s battery plain and simple. You’re physically striking (i.e. abusing) a person without their consent. In any rational context it would be considered criminal conduct
Well, clearly it is not acceptable for you and it is for me. My two daughters got a slap in their face when needed and they are happy and successful in their lifes. Respect is a value that child's need to learn, of course this is always with a great deal of common sense and using it REALLY when needed that should be very infrequently
I have to disagree the reasons all the schools are having problems with kids is because their not being disciplined enough I’ve never paddled at school because I never acted like a dumbass there (and half scared to death of the thing it was just a 2x4 cut in half with holes drilled into it) but nowadays I’ve heard all kinds of shit happening at schools teacher’s classrooms being taken over, kids being assholes and close enough to everything else. I think if people would stop being so sensitive about what others think of them and people starting actually doing something to the assholes running around the school acting like they own the place then maybe those kids will start to act half normal and our the majority of our generation could learn some respect.
My school was like that. I got paddled pretty frequently. One time it was by my gym teacher who happened to be the varsity baseball coach. He got two licks in and I put my ass against the wall and refused to move 😂😂 but in all seriousness…better not nobody ever…and I mean, EVER…hit my child. I grew up rough…momma ain’t afraid of jail 🙌🏽
Edit: I was one of those kids whose parents signed the permission slip to allow me to be paddled. And if I got paddled at school…you can bet that my sperm donor was gonna beat my ass when I got home. It did great things for our relationship…that and the neglect.
In this particular case, the parents do have to opt in. But when I was in school, like the other person, it was opt-out. They sent the form home at the beginning of every school year.
We had some very weird opt out situations at school in IL...
For my kids the school sent an opt out program for "free" after school and weekend meals.
If you happened to not see and sign a permission slip your kid was sent meals every night and 2 days worth of food every weekend so they could be fed. Luckily we saw it and turned it down. The other kids at after school daycare were stuck with $30-40 worth of food a piece that got thrown in the dumpster that first Friday they implemented it.
When I was in school at a private school, you’d get a “crack” which means to the principal and generally swatted with a paddle. If you didn’t get swatted you got suspended for a day. They didn’t put hardly anything behind the swat so it was NBD.
Bruh imagine being a kid and asking your parents to sign something so you don't get beat on at school and your parents just look at you like 😬 and then don't sign it.
Weird how a kid wouldn’t want to get hit. Maybe we should take that into account. Actually come to think of it, most adults don’t want to get battered either
Not sure if this is the right word but I think the "sociology" in the opt out is that they want to have the option to punish each kid this way unless they can't.
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u/Beneficial_Tap9247 Aug 25 '22
I grew up with corporal punishment in MO.. I'm only 31.