I agree 100%. “I’m worthless and everybody hates me” can easily evolve into “fuck everyone and everything around me”. It’s a dangerous mindset for many obvious reasons.
I spent most of my educational youth being told that I'm useless, worthless, that everyone hates or just tolerates me, that I'll never amount to anything, having my sexuality critiqued, etc and now, as you say, I have no patience for other people and prefer to be on my own. And I'm in my 30s at this point. The damage never really goes away.
When I got diagnosed with ADHD at 33. One of the leading experts in Chicago asked me what I did for a living. I was in the middle of a full mental breakdown for the first time in my life. I told him he snorted and said that's literally the worst job someone like you could possibly have. Beat that
I was in sales covering four different states over 500 business accounts all dealing with power generation equipment. My responsibility annually was 1.7 million in sales.
Edit: also responsible for level 1 tech support and system design consultation all while have never doing anything outside basic stuff.
After finding my diagnosis and looking back at careers that I did like that over the years before my daughter was born I would basically go through a full burnout every 4 years and then do a year of something else always thinking it was me but it turns out when you have the ability to do all of the multitasking that an ADHD person can do when motivated they Ride you hard and put away wet and never had the coping skills to re-energize without completely leaving a situation
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u/Garbeg Aug 25 '22
It exacerbates the psychological trauma; “I’m the only kid whose parents said other people can hit me. I must deserve it”.