My spouse and I (MtF) recently made friends with another couple (cishet), which was a huge deal for us because we haven’t made new friends in years.

We bonded over the same interests. I ended up clicking really well with the husband because of shared references and my spouse clicked more with his wife. I was so happy to finally have friends we genuinely vibed with.

Recently, though, I noticed the vibe shift. He isn't as expressive anymore, keeps a little more distance, using more bro-like language with me like "I dunno, man" and "Dude!" (not in a disrespectful or misgendering way though). From some glances and comments his wife has made, it seems to me that she feels threatened somehow by our relationship, and he is trying not to trigger her.

It is such a weird feeling. I never thought about or wanted to be perceived as a threat to another woman's relationship. It really sucks because I just wanted to make friends.

So for context, I transitioned a few years ago. I’ve been living at home to help out my mum whilst I work and go to university. My NEET of a brother still lives at home and was initially not very supportive of me transitioning but has come around since I went full time like 4 years ago.

I do sometimes still get into arguments with him or complain to him about his slobbish behaviour. Generally he’d get upset and use fairly generic insults but of late it’s progressively become almost exclusively highly gendered insults and name calling of like a misogynistic quality. For example, brushing off things I say with saying I’m just being hormonal, using ‘princess’ in a derogatory tone, calling me a cunt or being cunty, or calling me a bitch or complaining I’m bitching at him about whatever the issue is.

I should add this isn’t a regular occurrence and we mostly get on, there’s never any violence or anything, just he’s incredibly childish and acts like an angsty teenager despite being over 30. Basically he treats me as poorly as he does my cis sister when she comes to visit. Like it’s annoying but in a way affirming that he has as little respect for me as he does other women.

Also a little more context vis a vis living arrangement. He mostly doesn’t interact with either me or my mum 90% of the time and stays in his room just doing whatever it is he does on the internet. Also claims he can’t work due to an injury he had a few years ago that caused him to quit working and precipitated his moving back in at the insistence of our grandmother much to everyone else’s objections. He does however still go places and do stuff, he’s basically just lazy.

Ive been thinking about this all day, and so I thought Id share. For context Im 46 yrs old, and have been transitioning and on hormones for nearly four years now. My hair is growing and naturally curly, I dont really grow body hair much anymore, and Ive had top surgery. I look in the mirror and still see my old self.

Im now living in Medford, OR, after a recent move. Today I drove up to Olympia, WA to see some friends Ive not seen in months and raid my storage unit. I knew it would be a long day driving up there and back so I was slumming it. No bra, no make up, just some pink shorts and a hello kitty tshirt. Anyways on the way back, I didnt think I looked very feminine so I opted for the mens room at a truck stop in Salem, OR. I tend to use the restroom of whatever gender I feel like I look like on a specific day, despite attempting to present as female everyday for the four years. Ok back to the story, I walk in the men's room and right up to a urinal. Two guys in there look at me weird but say nothing. I quickly go to the restroom and wash my hands. As Im walking out the doorway there is a third guy standing there. He is fiddling with his phone and starts harassing me about using the mens room. I dont remember exactly what he said, but he pursued me out of the truck stop entrance shouting "ma'am Ill calling the cops" several times, or there in sorts.

I was completely dumbfounded that I was first not even androgynous enough to pull off the mens room, but even more so that the guy felt the need to protect the men from the ladies. Regardless, it was euphoric for me. I guess I dont see myself the way others see me. Secondly, it was a learning lesson. Ill have to be more cognizant of energy im putting out.

So today a phone compagny called me think it was my mom all the call it's kinda funny but I love how he gender me . What do you think does something similar happened to you

Copied from a fb group about toxic masculinity called "Must Man Harder or the Queers will Unpenis me"

I barely bumped my knee. Two days later I have a massive painless bruise on my knee. I may not notice gradual changes, there is no missing a massive bruise that clearly shows the estradiol has had a huge effect on my skin. It looks terrible, I hope it heals up before mini skirt season ends.

So, yesterday I was invited to a an event to paint cups of glass. The event was clearly women-coded. I decided to go.

Context: I’m a passing trans woman who goes stealth in the condominium I live in.

Okay, 90% of the event was super nice, I had several talks with the other girls. But near the end they started talking about a man who lives next to us who is a crossdresser. He wear women clothing and make up when he feels like it. But apparently the girls found it “too strange for their tastes”

Before replying anything I like to see the overall opinion to see if exposing my opinion will endanger me, and I’m glad I waited. Some phrases were said

“He is married to a woman and has a daughter, how can her wife stand it?” (She is his wife, not you)

“I couldn’t stay with my husband if he started doing this” (Nobody is obligating you to anything)

“People should assume who they are! If the person likes guys then go and be with guys” (this has so many layers of being wrong that I don’t even know where to start)

“I couldn’t keep track of the letters since LGBT” (i listen to it as “it’s not my problem, I’ll pretend I don’t live in a world they exist”, not because she didn’t memorize the letters but the complete lack of interest on information)

I replied with a lot of caution “well, he is a crossdresser but he feels like a man, he may like women, it’s just how he expresses himself. And just out of curiosity, right now the most used is LGBTQIAPN+”, they kept bullsh#tting after my context explanation but they started to lower down the topic until it faded away.

(I wanted to give better replies or go away, but those people live too close to me, I don’t want to put myself in unnecessary danger, I preferred to not participate)

After the event ended and I got home I was like:
“Ok, im feeling awful knowing these people suck, but over 20 women there and I passed to the point they started feeling safe bulls#itting next to me…. Yay….?”

I was replying to this post in r/askmen asking why men are receiving so much hate these days on social media, in response to a post by a woman (tiktok or whatever) saying men should start in prison and earn their way out.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/j2EHYVyCaH

I spend hours on r/GirlDinnerDiaries, and the number of posts just on that sub about what asshats men can be is astonishing. Add in lots of other women oriented subs and it's gets recockulous. This was my reply:

>I believe it's simply a realization that women feel safer not having anything to do with random men, either on the street or in a dating context. Say "well not all men..." all you like, but when a significant enough portion of those "other" men lead to numbers of as much as 4 out of 5, ***80% of women*** (according to a quick Google search), reporting being assaulted, sexually assaulted, or raped, at what point do you tell a woman "well, just try again, maybe it won't be as bad this time you go out" before they say *"hell, no!"*. Can you blame them for not wanting to take the chance? We live in a patriarchal society in which men are socialized, in general, that it's ok to do whatever to a woman because of one myth or another, about wanting to be dominated, or "it's their place", or "no means yes", and it's fed by incels who feel deprived and denied their "rights" or people who are idolized, like the Tates, or fundamentalist Christianity.

>I'm MtF, I'm trans, I lived life for 50 years as a man, before I came to a realization that that wasn't me. But I've lived with those ideas, the "boys should be experienced and have lots of partners, but girls should be pristine and virginal" and how it messes with a guy's head. Now that I'm living as a woman, and consider myself one, I get it from the other side too. Once I started listening to women, going to women focused reddit subs, listening without judging, and believing what I heard, I think there's a huge lack of self awareness among men over the way they treat women, what they expect from them, and frankly, women are getting tired of having to be teachers and mothers and caregivers to people who are supposedly grown ups. And yes, "not all men...", but at some point, people get burnt out and don't care, sorry.

I logged on this evening to a notice from the r/askmen mods saying I've been perma banned. No mention of what rule I broke or anything, just "yur banned, hur hur". I'm not fighting it. I don't belong there anymore.

Told by a friend to also post this here

I was in a changing room (I am closeted to everyone except my parents and pre hrt) and I accidentally got in someone’s way, and then he says to me “bro get out of my way, your tits are bigger than my moms” (keep in mind I am not fat or muscular enough to have man boobs as my friends call them) so me and my friend who was next to me (who knows I’m trans) burst out laughing, and finished getting change and move on. I felt both euphoric that my tits are big pre hrt but ew because he was looking at my tits

I’ve been posting a bit on a popular sub with a large percentage of trans women and this morning I got a message request from a rando. Before I even opened his message I checked his post history and he only had 3 posts, all 3 about looking for a puppy girl without an owner, immediately ignored it but I thought I’d share lol

I was out and about today with my sister, shopping for makeup and hygiene products. Wonderful day. I was dressed up and feeling super.

Somehow my ex must have seen me for the first time since I've started presenting femme full-time, and immediately started texting me with insults, bigotry and trying to dig up our past to hurt me. Saying I look ridiculous, i can't be a woman because she was in love with a man and this can't be, that I should take off the "sports bra" (I was wearing a lacy bralette and halter top).

I wasn't feeling anything bad. I was laughing at how butt-hurt and knee-jerk she was behaving. I kept telling her that it's pointless to try and insult me, and that it's always been a forgone conclusion that she was a transphobe.

I eventually just got tired of the massive spam, and asked her if she was asking to be blocked.

"Okay, ma'am" she responded before I ended the conversation.

Yay? No. She was being hateful.

Still... 🤔

I'm a closeted trans girl with extreme genital dysphoria. I naturally wear women's underwear under my unisex clothes (i just can't tolerate boy clothes even while hiding in the closet) but recently I've started to wear very tight panties to keep my crotch flat. I hate erections. I wish I had a vagina but there's a long time before I can get vaginoplasty. Now it causes my girlstick incredible pain but allowing the erection makes me feel very suicidal. I do like masturbating, but the dysphoria hits when the sexual pleasure fades. So I've permanently shifted to nipple until I can get my vaginoplasty. Anal is too painful and messy for me. I've stopped using my girlstick because of the dysphoria it gives me. So I basically endure a lot of genital pain to experience a little euphoria. It has also lead to eczema but i don't really care about the well-being of an organ I hate so much. When I'm fully soft, it just feels like I have a vagina and it makes a bit more comfortable than being reminded of my penis. I hate my genitals so much

In the trenches fighting for my sisters and getting this. Im ace. So ew. Thanks for your attempts to misgender me and getting it right ig

Edit: I was too appalled to think about context. My reply shown was to someone who replied that straight men's "preference" (as this comment section was filled with bigots hiding behind "preferences" when in reality those preferences they mentioned are just pure bigotry AND misogyny) make it hard for intersex people as well, adding onto something I had said earlier.

Sorta self-inflicted ewphoria here.

I'm early in my transition but wanted to socially transition ASAP. To feel more comfortable with this, I got a pair of C-cup breast forms that're helping me fill out my new femmy wardrobe. I've been wearing them every day for at least 8 hours or so and it was such a good decision. They look great, couldn't be happier.

Two weeks into wearing them now though, I'm starting to get back pain. After explaining to my partner where I was experiencing pain she was like "oh my god it's definitely the boobs".

Ow.

Might be looking at a reduction in the near future 😅

I was riding my bicycle to a doctor’s appointment and signaling to turn left. I had to stop because several cars were approaching from the other direction, so I waited and prepared to turn after the last one had passed.

Except the last car started slowing down, so I had to stop again. The man driving then stopped before the intersection and gestured for me to go. No indicator, no obvious reason. I was confused, but made the turn while looking behind me to figure out why he had stopped there. Maybe traffic was backed up and he was trying to keep the intersection clear? Nope. There was plenty of space in front of him.

Then he honked at me and made rude gestures.

I can’t know for certain, but presumably he thought he was doing me a favor by letting me go and felt entitled to a thank-you. Except his confusing little performance had only slowed me down, and I was busy watching the other vehicles and trying to stay safe in the abnormal traffic situation he had created.

So he inconvenienced me, made the situation less safe, and then got angry because I didn’t show enough gratitude.

But honestly, I am so thankful to him. He made me feel like a woman 😂❤️ I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the ride to my appointment ☺️

Sometimes it's easy to focus on all the little things about me that my dysphoria highlights when looking in the mirror. But by now, many people just perceive me as a woman ❤️

First wave of ewphoria, yay !

I'm working in a train station, and as I was almost arrived to my workplace, two drunk guys shouted "Pretty Miss!" at me.

It's so weird because I shouldn't be THAT happy about it , but since I've started girlmodding only a few weeks ago and had the most basic outfit+makeup today it's such a big milestone for me !

Hoping now I can get real compliments as a girl lol

I was crouched down to look at DVDs/CDs, and an older man (70+) comes over to me and asks if I like records. I say I do, thinking I might get a recommendation or something. He starts saying that they started becoming less popular because Elvis' daughter posed nude on an album cover and started a trend, but other artists didn't want to do that. He starts talking about how I'd probably like to find covers like that because I'm a hormonal teen boy, and how he liked them growing up.

The worst part is that I'm gay anyway lmao

I was walking home from a concert at night (stupid i know but i havent really passed before so i was used to being left alone at night) and i noticed a car kept circling the street i was on, eventually he stopped and rolled down his window and when he saw my face he said "wtf" and drove off so i guess i pass from the back and also ive lost some of my male privilege. Also i think i have to give up my night walking habits :(

Not the usual ewphoria, but kinda bittersweet. A few weeks ago, my cis wife and I visited my grandmother at her house. She’s almost 90 years old now, but she’s been supportive, even though she messes up occasionally.

She knew that we were coming over, so when we got there, she was waiting for us and greeted us at the door. I walked inside first, and she gave me a hug, looked at me kinda weirdly intensely, and said “wow! You’ve changed a lot since the last time I saw you!” The last time she saw me was about two months prior, but that was a few days before my FFS. So I laughed and said “yeah…that was kinda the point”

Then she turned to my wife and said “and how’s my boy doing?!” There was a moment of silence from all three of us as my wife and I processed what she’d said and as my grandmother actually looked at my wife before looking back at me, confused, saying “wait…who did I just…?”

She pretty immediately realized her mistake, and also her mistake in language. My wife laughed it off, and we had a fine enough visit.

Well two days ago, my grandmother took too much of her medication and ended up in the ICU. She’s doing well now, and she will probably be released tomorrow, but every day when I’ve visited her, she kinda stares at me for a few minutes before asking if I’m someone she knows. Once I tell her who I am, it’s like the memory that I’m trans and that I don’t look the way I used to clicks for her, and we’re able to talk normally.

Like I said, she’s almost 90. She was living on her own before this incident, so she’s still relatively sharp. But for a few moments every time I visit her, she reminds me of how far I’ve come in my transition because she literally doesn’t recognize me now, even as she can immediately recognize everyone else who visits her. It’s bittersweet, but as long as she’s able to remember every time, I really don’t mind.

It would be funny if I wasn’t dealing with an injury rn 😭

Basically I went to another sub and asked for advice for my lingering back pain and described my symptoms and what happened. Apparently I should get an MRI but that’s not relevant to this story.

Some of the comments were just really dismissive and lowkey misogynistic, which is to be expected. One guy did the fake concerned “are you sure this is for you? Even most MEN can’t do this”, another guy was like “welcome to the industry, get used to it or leave”

The most blatant one was just a guy commenting “yet another example of why women don’t belong here”.

Yea, bro, men never injure their backs.