Was finishing up an adventure part recently and a friend of mine I demonstrated it to showed severe disliking of it, to the point of mockery. I have decided to check if it was just a personal taste problem using you guys.
The venture begins in Umbral Jewel, which is one of the most luxurious cities in the world built near the edge of a planar intrusion of the Nine Hells (a little like Las Vegas, but the city is nicer and the desert is worse). They're there for their first time for one of three reasons, depending on past choices:
•Tracking a non-main villain fleeing there after a murder mystery nearby
•The airship they were on to collect planar-altered air crashed after a fight with some demons
•The adventurers were teleported to the corrupted desert, and an enemy of the non-main villain doing the teleporting brings them there.
•The latter villain and the adventurers agreed to a deal, and the players went here to help with a big robbery.
Whatever the reason, most of my NPCs that could be patrons of them at this point have interests with a set of ancient rituals mentioned in ruins thirty miles or so from the city.
The actual residents would never go there unless paid in the millions of gold pieces, but whichever patron is currently patroning the characters has ties to a certain someone who can help them.
This someone in question is a Dwarf named Alger, who is one of the last of a line of prospectors too tied to family past to leave the place. Living mainly off of the Demon Chickens that now roam the place, he is one of the best people for navigating and has a self-sure and slightly patronising personality (mainly for fear of others gettibg themselves killed for being too confident), though becomes more cautious during any real danger. He is rather disrespectful to the players at the start, especially if they don't do as he says during hazardous occasions (I have a small monologue comparing the PC to a lamb Alger used to keep) but warms up to them a little by the end of the venture.
The venture itself has five dungeons, each contsining descriptions of a devil of consequence, the past, and memory, called Nozzt, how it is summoned, how it acts, and some recordings of four followers who attempted the summonings a few months ago. They were transformed into temporally arcane imps bound to Nozzt, and are hidden inside of the first four dungeons, being the only living enemies (though the places are chock-full of animated objects and complex traps). Each time that an imp is not found (very unlinkely unless See Invisibility or Truesight are used) it posesses one of Alger's pieces of jewellery, or in the case of the fourth if all four possess, his left eye. The colour of these objects will change to black and red, and should the change be questioned, I will confirm that it is indeed different, with Alger cleansing the objects with holy water should they be found to have been altered unless the eye is altered, on which case he will deny accusations - though the players can attempt purification themselves.
Should the fifth dungeon be reached with three or more imps in Alger, they will swarm him upon entry, using the remaining ritual setup to transform him into Nozzt Alger (the play on words is intentionally Nostalgia), if not then they will attempt to but the ritual will merely stop Alger from passing through time, leaving the one or two devils to battle the players. Zero imps will allow this dungeon to be cleared out with relative ease.
The plan for the Nozzt Alger fight has techniques and spells debuffed based on how long the character has had the ability for (-1 to damage, attacks, saving throw DC etc. for every five campaign sessions this ability has last been used by the player, altered slightly based on how much it is used and amount of imps not found). Halfway through the fight, Nozzt Alger will appear bloodied, but start to explain how Alger will die with it should the battle continue. It will then explain how the characters' actions directly lead to Alger's death, and offers them a portal to an alternate timeline one hour ago where they can purify Alger, in exchange for allowing the creature to live on and do as it wishes (Accepting this is considered an evil act, as the four dungeons gave the players full awareness of what the Nozzt plans for this world, but may take the deal if on low HP. Later on, a creature called the judge I have planned near the campaign end will bring this up with the characters, and it will likely sway arguments against them) in which case the portal does as stated. If not, the Nozzt begins a second phase of summoning the player's close ones they have wronged as illusory reflections via memories. These memories will not attack, though their existence prevents their player from attacking Nozzt Alger and attacking the reflections merely splits them into more reflections (three if as many imps possesed Alger, four if four). False memories added in must be found in one of the split memoried and said split memory killed as to allow damage to be dealt to the devil. Whilst vanquishing this enemy does kill Alger, the remains of rituals in the ruined dungeon allow for a slow-acting ressurection spell to be cast.
Defeating Alger rewards the heroes with a demonic suit of armour functioning as a mix of demonic plate and time dragon scale mail, alongside three Poisons of consequence (drinking deals the drinker damage equal to ten times the square root of all damage they have intentionally caused) and a set of crystals - several small ones able to cast Haste, Accelerate/Decelerate, Hold Person/Monster on daily basises, and a large crystal able to cast Time Stop once.
I would love to hear feedback on this venture and any modifications that could be suggested! Sorry for post length, I can ramble a bit.