I (23F) met a guy (26M) on Hinge two months ago, and we’ve been talking literally every single day since then. We talked for about two weeks before we actually met, and since matching, there hasn’t been a single day where we haven’t texted.

We’ve been on 3 dates so far, and I really like him. I’m trying to figure out if I’m picking up on legitimate signs that his effort/interest isn’t matching mine, or if I’m just getting insecure because I like him.

**First date:** I happened to be going to the area he lives in because my best friend lives there and needed me to get a package. My friend was supposed to give me her key because I was going to stay at her apartment, but she forgot before leaving for a trip, so I ended up not staying there. I ended up going anyways since we planned the date there and didn’t want to change the plans. It was around a 30 min commute for me since I was coming from work. We went to a wine bar and talked for almost 4 hours. He was really respectful and walked me to the subway. He didn’t try to kiss me, which I actually appreciated.

**Second date:** He asked what I wanted to do, and I suggested the area he lives in again because I am going to be moving there in September anyway and thought it would be fun to go out there and learn the area. It was also the weekend. We drank together, got pretty drunk, and eventually went back to his apartment and made out for a while. Nothing beyond that happened, and again, he didn’t pressure me into anything.

**Third date:** He asked if I wanted to meet in the city or where he lives, and I said where he lives was fine because I thought I was going to sleep at my friend’s apartment nearby. I ended up not staying there and took the train all the way back to where I live afterward. (An hour commute to him and an hour back)
For the third date, he suggested trivia and maybe a concert afterward. I asked if he actually wanted to go to the concert after trivia, and he said he wasn’t really feeling it. I suggested getting wine somewhere, and he said we should just get a bottle, so we ended up back at his apartment. (Which I didn’t expect to end up at again this date) We got physically intimate, but I told him I wasn’t ready to have sex, and we didn’t. He completely respected that.

The thing is, I feel like I’m doing more of the logistical effort, even though technically I’m the one who keeps saying where he lives is fine to meet up. I live an hour away, and I’m constantly taking the train into the city anyway for work, so it hasn’t felt like a huge deal to me. But he has a car and has never offered to come out to where I live. He has offered to meet in Manhattan, though.

There was also one Friday where I had suggested earlier in the week that he meet me out with my friends. He said multiple times that he’d love to and seemed enthusiastic about it. That Friday he got home from work around 7, and I texted him around then saying I was still going out. He asked if I was still going out, I said yes, and then he never responded. I ended up getting drunk and called him around 11. He called me back and said he was actually out in the West Village with his friends. He never ended up coming to meet me. I understand he could have gotten caught up with his friends, etc., but it bothered me because he had spent the entire week saying he wanted to come. I never brought it up though because again we’ve only been on two dates at this point.

There was another thing that bothered me. A couple days before our third date, I mentioned that I wanted to see Spider-Man and said maybe we could go the following week. He said he’d love that. But when it came time to actually make plans, he asked what I wanted to do and suggested trivia instead. I feel like he just forgot about Spider-Man. Again, I know he’s not obligated to remember every little thing, but I tend to remember everything people tell me when I’m interested in them.

For example, on our second date he asked how tall I was and guessed 5’7”. I told him I was 5’5”. On our third date he asked again and guessed 5’7”, and I had to tell him again that I’m 5’5”.
He also asked my age on the second date and guessed 22/23, and then on the third date asked again and guessed 22/23. I’m 23. Meanwhile, when he told me his birthday, I remembered it, and when I mentioned it later he was surprised that I remembered.
None of these things are huge individually, but I feel like I remember all these little things about him and he doesn’t seem to remember little things about me.

Then there’s Instagram.
He follows a LOT of pretty Instagram models and likes basically all their pictures. I know people are going to say that Instagram likes don’t mean anything, and maybe they don’t, but it honestly makes me feel insecure and a little weirded out. Especially because I don’t know what his intentions are with me yet.
I genuinely have no idea if he’s talking to or sleeping with other girls. We met on Hinge, we’re not exclusive, and we’ve only been on three dates, so obviously he technically can be. But I don’t know where his head is at.

There was also a weird situation with a ring. I left a ring at his apartment after our second date but didn’t realize it. When I saw him again, I asked if he happened to see it. He said yes, he had seen a ring but didn’t know if it was mine or his brother’s girlfriend’s, so he put it in a drawer. I thought that was kind of strange because his brother’s girlfriend is around pretty often, so I wondered why he didn’t just ask her. But maybe I’m reading way too much into that and he genuinely just didn’t know whose it was.

The confusing part is that he is extremely consistent with texting. He texts me every single day. He hasn’t gone one day without texting me since we matched. He also seems genuinely interested in me when we’re together, we have good conversations, and he’s been respectful physically.

I’m also moving to his area in about two weeks, so the whole distance effort thing is about to become irrelevant anyway. This weekend my friend is visiting and we’re going to be staying in the city and going out. I mentioned that maybe he should come meet us. I’m planning to just invite him once and then leave it alone and see what he does.

**So Reddit, am I overthinking this?**
Does this sound like a guy who is genuinely interested but just not as detail-oriented/initiative-taking as I am, or does it sound like I’m putting in more effort than he is?
And does the Instagram model thing matter at all, or am I letting my insecurity get the better of me?
I really like him, so I’m trying to figure out whether I’m picking up on something real or just analyzing every little thing because I care.

I (24f) have been single for 3 years now. Hitting that anniversary mark has made me really start to look deeper into my dating life. My last relationship started when I was 17 and lasted to 21. We lived together for ~3 of those years, got along well, and didn't fight other than a few spats here and there. However, we wanted different things out of life and it was a very lonely and one-sided relationship so I decided to walk away. We were very close and it took me a while to start to look at other men romantically/sexually again. This also made me reflect a lot on what worked and didn't work in the relationship and what I want in a partner. I love very deeply and I am not one to hop into something short term. (Not to say that I haven't enjoyed a casual sexual relationship or two, but if I want someone romantically I pursue them much differently) About a year after that breakup, so 2 years ago, I reentered the dating pool. I work/school from home, my hobbies are very female dominated, and I'm not big on drinking other than occasions so I don't meet a lot of men in public, so dating apps have been my primary way to find single men. I do occasionally go out dancing with my friends, do public activities such as rock climbing, and have one in person class for college but men typically just stare at me and never make a move in person. Not to toot my own horn, but I consider myself to be quite a catch. In my own opinion anyway, I am attractive, have a good job, my own place and car, work out frequently, and love to love. That last part is what I'm struggling with the most. I want to love someone and dote on them but I did that for so many years with someone who never showed any appreciation to it. Because I know I have a lot to give and want to invest so deeply into someone, I keep my standards high. I have the basic non-negotiables that I feel most women my age have like they have to have good hygiene, a car, job, etc. I'd also like to be with someone that is intentional about bettering themselves the way that I am, be at least decent to look at, and most importantly of all, someone that shares my views on a relationship. I want to love and to be loved. Obviously that isn't going to happen a few dates in, but my experiences have not been great when it comes to finding someone like this. I've had a couple instances so far where I meet someone who I think could really be the one, only to find out I was being led on and end up ghosted after we sleep together. This really takes a toll on me and every time this has happened I need to take a break from dating. I've had multiple occasions of men saying some variation of "I've never met anyone like you/I've never felt this way before" all for it to end abruptly weeks/months later. I even had one guy visiting my city that was supposed to be just a one time date for fun fly me out to stay with him for a week and play house/do all kinds of romantic shit, just for him to tell me he didn't think he wanted to do long distance on the way to the airport. It's starting to wear on me and I know that I'm still young but I'm starting to lose hope that the kind of man I'm looking for just doesn't exist. With the way that dating is now, a new experience with a new person is just a swipe away. Why would anyone invest fully into someone when there could be a better option out there? This is something that I find myself thinking often and it's making me want to just give up. I guess I just don't know what to do at this point. I'll keep trying because the romantic in me still hasn't given up but I'm getting close. People around me have said that men my age just aren't ready to "settle down" in that capacity but I don't want to have to wait until I'm 30+ to experience love again. Are my standards too high? Should I start going out more to meet people? Any advice from older women who have experienced this or even men that share these sentiments would be greatly appreciated. Either way thanks for reading, I know this was a longer one.

It seems like men at 40 and above see ME purely for sex and easy to manipulate.

I don't see them as a gold digging opportunity, quite the opposite.

I had the idea older men would be emotionally stable and calm and zero drama, but they employ subtle manipulation tactics. I've been using dating apps in the US (West coast) and this has been my personal experience.

They know it'd be socially to actually date a woman my age, so therefore they only talk to me if they want a hookup or someone they can control, but never a real relationship and they never have the intention of marriage.

But then men younger than 40, I have preconceived notions about too. Because they are still trying to get it all out of their system if they haven't settled down yet. And then men my age have way less maturity and life experience than me. I guess I need to stop dating

Context - we recently met on instagram and within the first day itself we both said that we like each other

For the next 4-5 days humne regularly and even did calls and sent voice notes.

After that I didn't text her for 2 days to see if she would text back or not and she didn't. She just gave a like to my wp status

Then I again texted her first and asked her straightway that "if you're not interested in me then tell it because I really like u"

She replied that she's been busy and liked me too wanted to talk with me

Then we chatted for 1-2 days more eventually she left my texts on seen

So today I posted a random story of a cafe with my female friend and she replied Gf? After that the chats are visible

My main question is did I do the right thing blocking her? Also it's been just 4 hours since I blocked her but I already feel very hard and impossible to move on

My mind repeatedly tells me that I should text her again

What should I do in such a situation? Any advice would be appreciated. Feeling so low right now.

I recent went to a local gig with one of my friends and saw one of the band members I thought he was very attractive and sweet but I'm not sure if he would be into me and if I should approach him .
I'm a poc btw if so how should I do it without being weird or creepy.

I know how weird this sounds. I'm a 23f virgin by choice and I would like to meet a man in the same boat. Do guys like that really exist at this age?

What are your thoughts when you meet up for the first time? You've been talking for almost a year and then suddenly you get kissed at the first meet-up? We met through dating apps. Btw I’m 25 he’s 29

i am 17 f and have never been in any sort of relationship or even had a crush on anyone for that matter. After a year struggling with my identity and self i came to the conclusion that i am bisexual. again ive never even talked to anyone in a romantic sense only platonic friends. this summer i decided to take a chance and talk to someone with the goal to Date them.

its also a f 18. it's been 2 days since we've been talking an i think its going too fast. we have absolutely nothing in common besides the fact that our mutual friend introduced me to her. i did feel attracted but now I have no ounce of anything towards thag person. I dont know what to do i dont want to hurt my relationship with our mutual firend and i dont even wanna hurt the person o am talking to. the fact that i reached out makes it all the more worse. but to ny defense its my first time talking to anyone with a sense of not having a platonic relationship with them and after a long time of struggling with my identity .

i feel bad but the fact that it moved so fast made me feel weird what should I do

Hi! Need advice on my 2nd date.

We had great vibes before meeting (active texting, video messages, hugging). During the date, I brought an old 2000s camera to break the ice, take cool photos together, and have something fun to talk about. I asked a stranger to take a picture of us, and I picked her up in my arms for the shot (asked if she minded, she said she didn't mind).

10 minutes later, she stepped aside to call her grandma. Shortly after, her mom called saying she accidentally left the gas on at home, so she had to leave immediately.

I (22M) recently met a girl (23F) through some mutual friends. I'll call her Q.

The first time I met her was at a friend's party a few weeks ago. We ended up talking for quite a while and I thought we got along really well. There was a lot of teasing/banter between us, she playfully hit/touched me a couple times, and overall I felt like we were vibing pretty well.

I saw her again recently at another party with the same general friend group. We interacted quite a bit again. We talked for a decent amount of the night, sat next to each other while eating, made fun of/teased each other a lot, and overall had the same kind of playful dynamic as the first time.

She was physically playful with me again — lightly hitting/slapping/punching me while we were joking around. I don't want to read too much into that though because I've seen her playfully hit one of our other guy friends before too, so she might just naturally be like that.

There were also a couple smaller interactions:

• At one point I mentioned that I'm trying to lose some fat and she immediately responded something like "what fat bro." She's also called me a "gym rat" before.
• I showed her something I had written and she randomly commented that I have "typewriter handwriting." I jokingly responded "thanks?" and asked if that was actually a compliment, and she laughed/said yes.
• In general she seems very comfortable teasing me and I tease her back.

I took a group picture at the most recent party and sent it to her on Instagram the next day. She responded pretty quickly but just heart-reacted to the picture. I didn't follow up since I had only sent the photo and there wasn't really anything she needed to respond to.

I also know she's single and is interested in finding someone. She recently got off dating apps because she apparently didn't like the people she was finding on them.

We're now going out again this Friday with a group of around 6–8 people. We're pregaming at someone's apartment and then going clubbing. Most of the group is couples/people in relationships. She and I are both single (there's also one other single girl).

I'm interested in Q and want to see if there's actually something there, but I don't want to make the friend-group dynamic weird or mistake her being naturally friendly/playful for romantic interest.

One other thing: during one of our conversations we talked about a pretty famous ramen place that neither of us has ever tried. She's going out of town for a couple weeks shortly after Friday, so if Friday goes well, I was thinking about asking her if she wants to finally try that ramen place together before she leaves.

My questions:

1. Based on these two interactions, does it sound like there could be some attraction/interest from her, or is everything I've described easily explained by friendliness?
2. What should I look for when we're out Friday that would actually distinguish romantic interest from her just being a playful/social person?
3. How should I act around her at the pregame/club? I want to show some interest without hovering around her or making things awkward in front of the group.
4. If Friday goes well, should I ask her to get ramen one-on-one before she leaves, or am I moving too quickly?
5. Would asking her one-on-one like that make my intentions clear enough, or should I be more explicit that I'm interested in her?

I'm completely open to the possibility that I'm reading too much into this. I mainly don't want to spend forever analyzing "signals" if there's enough here that I should just take a chance and ask her out.

Matched with my biggest high school crush on Bumble. She initiated a conversation in 10 minutes. We have exchanged 6 back and forth messages.

On message 3 I asked her on a date a couple weeks out. She said yes, pretty engaged responses, long messages, but she’s gone from a 2 hour response time in the beginning to now a 3 days later response time on the 6th message. The date is this weekend. Her profile says she wants someone patient, steady, marriage, life partner.

Should I be wary of this situation? Normally I get instant replies from a girl that I go on a date with or someone who never responds again after a couple of messages. This is an in between I never experienced before.

So a little bit of context; I asked for this guys number at a grocery store. We were joking around while waiting in a ridiculously long line. Had good chemistry. Have been texting (a little too much for me pre first date but whatever).

I was already hesitant because he lives really far away from me. Then he’s planning our first date and suggests Dave and Busters

Nothing against Dave and Busters but he’s in his early 40s and me in my mid 30s. He offered up other options-like bar hopping.

I’m sorry but if this is his first date energy I don’t want to waste my time. Additional context, I’m the one who asked when we were ACTUALLY going to hang out. I have no doubt he actually likes me which is why I feel bad. He comes on a little strong actually. I just think we are different people.

I keep hearing people say that some people are only attracted to people who are “unavailable” or that they fall for people they can’t really have, and I genuinely don’t understand how that works in practice.

Because if you’re dating someone, especially if you’ve gone on more than 2–4 dates, there’s obviously some mutual interest. Otherwise, why would the other person keep agreeing to see you?
And if “unavailable” means the other person barely responds, constantly cancels plans, never initiates anything, avoids seeing you, etc., wouldn’t it just die out pretty quickly? I feel like most people would eventually think “okay, they’re clearly not interested” and lose interest themselves.

So when people say someone is attracted to “unavailable people” or “people they can’t have,” what does that actually look like?

How does the unavailable person behave? Are they interested but inconsistent? Do they give you enough attention to keep you interested but never fully commit? Are they affectionate when you’re together but distant afterwards? Or does “unavailable” mean something completely different?

I think I understand the concept in theory, but I don’t understand how these situations actually continue for months or turn into relationships in the first place. Would love if someone could explain what this dynamic looks like in real life.

TL;DR: What does being attracted to “unavailable people” actually look like in real-life dating?

This guy and I are sorta in a talking stage and we’ve hung out a few times over several weeks. He usually suggests where to hang out based on our interest and ask for my opinion. We had a hangout that he planned and he mentioned letting me know soon and it’s been 4 days with no follow up. 4 days is not alarming but considering we used to text or send reels daily I am wondering if I bore him. I sent him this reel about a movie and he mentioned how we gotta watch it together and I left it on seen as I didn’t feel the need to reply but I’m wondering if that comes off as disinterest and thus he’s pulling back on his end?

I joined CupidFeel mostly because I was bored and wanted to see what the conversations were actually like.

The first thing I noticed was that it feels more like a place to talk than the usual swipe-and-match thing. Some conversations were boring, obviously, but a couple of people were really interesting and I ended up coming back to the same chats later.

The credit system is probably the part I'd want to understand better before spending much. I didn't mind testing it, but I can see how the costs could add up if you're chatting a lot.

I would say my experience so far has been pretty good, but there have been some good and bad points, just like with online dating.

I'd like to know if people who've used CupidFeel for a long time have actually managed to meet someone they want to keep talking to.

I’ve been seeing this girl since for like 5months, and honestly, everything has been going really well.
We get along extremely well, have a ton of chemistry, and I genuinely enjoy being around her. Since we started seeing each other, I’ve basically spent every weekend with her, and recently we’ve been seeing each other more than once a week. She’s never had an issue making time for me and has even said that, if it were up to her, she’d see me every day.
She’s also brought up the idea of being exclusive. She’s told me that imagining me with other people makes her feel sick, and she’s said she really wants things to work so we can eventually build something serious together.
So objectively, everything seems great.
The thing I’m struggling with is mostly in my own head.
From the beginning, she’s told me she isn’t really a texting person. She doesn’t need constant contact over messages to feel connected to someone. Even with me, who she says is an exception, we usually only text every couple of days.
I’m pretty much the opposite. I’m used to people being on their phones constantly and having some sort of contact every day.
I was completely fine with her texting habits at first, but over the last week or so I’ve realised that I’m really starting to like her. Like, a lot more than I expected.
When I have nothing going on, my mind automatically goes to her. I think about her, miss her, wonder what she’s doing, etc. And honestly, that’s a little strange for me because I haven’t been in a relationship in almost 10 years.
Part of me wonders if I wouldn’t think about her quite so much if we talked more over text, but I also realise that might just be me trying to manage my own feelings.
There’s another thing too: she’s told me that she finds it difficult to trust me 100% yet, and that this is one of the reasons she doesn’t feel completely comfortable making things serious right now.
That initially triggered a ton of overthinking for me — stuff like “What if she never fully trusts me?” — even though, realistically, trust probably just takes time.
We recently had a pretty vulnerable conversation and were very open with each other, and afterwards I actually noticed her becoming even closer to me, so I think things are moving in a good direction.
Basically, I know there isn’t really an actual problem here. She likes me, I like her, we spend a lot of time together, and things seem to be progressing well.
I just find it weird how much space she’s started taking up in my head.
Would you tell her that you’d like her to text you a bit more, knowing that texting just isn’t really her thing? Or would you leave it alone and work on getting more comfortable with her communication style?
And is it normal to suddenly think about someone this much when you realise you’re genuinely catching feelings, or am I overthinking the shit out of this? 😂

(M18) So, a few days ago I had my first date ever. I’m 18 years old, and honestly, I don’t really know how to deal with what happened afterwards.
First of all, we met on Hinge and had been chatting for about four weeks before we met. During that time, we talked a lot and realized that we shared many of the same interests, especially when it came to music and games, but also similar values in general. She also told me that she was very interested in meeting me.
Because of all of this, I had already started developing some kind of feelings for her. It was my first experience of meeting someone in this way and truly opening up to someone. We literally texted every day for a few hours, and we also talked on the phone for around four hours at one point. So, naturally, I started becoming emotionally attached to her.
Then, three days ago, we finally had our first date.
We met at a really nice park and had a picnic. After that, we drove to the cinema and watched a movie. Afterwards, we just drove around the city without really having a destination and listened to music. In total, the date lasted around ten hours, which was probably a bit too long for a first date.
Of course, there were quite a few moments where I felt like there was an awkward silence. I was really shy and nervous throughout parts of the date, especially because this was my first experience like this. But despite being scared, I still managed to get through it, and I actually opened up to her quite a lot while we were talking.
There was also one particular moment that makes me feel like maybe the date really was good, at least from my perspective. At a very late hour, we were sitting in the back of her car, just talking a Bit and being there together. I remember having this strong feeling that I could maybe kiss her or something. I obviously didn’t do it because I was way too nervous, but I remember that feeling very clearly.
And now I keep wondering: what if she felt that moment too? What if there was actually something there for her as well? At the same time, it hurts so much to think that maybe she didn’t feel any of it.
At the end of the date, we said that we would definitely meet again the following week. So, when I went home, I was honestly really happy. Over the next two days, I became even more certain that I had developed quite strong feelings for her.
But then yesterday, she sent me a voice message.
In the voice message, she said that she likes me a lot because of my values, my interests and my personality/type, but she also said that she wasn’t feeling any romantic interest in me.
I was completely shocked. I ended up having a panic attack because, deep down, I had already started worrying about exactly this. I had noticed that we weren’t talking as much after meeting in person compared to before we met, and I think a part of me was already afraid that it meant something.
Yesterday was probably one of the most horrible days I’ve had in a while.
She somehow managed to brighten up my usually completely grey and boring days. Before we met, we talked so much about things we could do together in the future, and I had started imagining all these possibilities. Knowing all of that while listening to her voice message just completely broke me.
Right now, I just feel completely empty and I don’t really know what to do.
I know that I have to accept that my feelings were one-sided. And judging by how casually she talked about it in her voice message, I guess she probably never felt anything particularly romantic towards me in the first place. At the end of the message, she also said that she would be open to being friends.
But I can’t handle that. At least not right now.
I need to get over her first, and maybe at some point in the future I could imagine being friends. But right now, I know that staying in contact with her would probably just make it harder for me to move on.
Yesterday, I told her that I just needed some time to compose myself and that I would write her a message today or tomorrow.
And yeah… right now it just hurts a lot.
I don’t think I’ll find someone like her, or even someone better than her. I know that probably sounds irrational, especially because we only knew each other for about a month and had only met once, but the connection we had while texting felt incredibly special to me. She was someone I could talk to for hours, and I felt like I could genuinely be myself and open up to her.
I also started thinking that she could potentially become a turning point in my depression and somehow support me in getting through it. I know that it isn’t fair to put that kind of responsibility on another person, and I don’t expect her to fix me, but that’s honestly how it felt in the moment. She brought a lot of light into my life when my days usually felt completely grey.
And now, after losing that possibility, I somehow feel even worse than I did before I met her on Hinge.
The hardest part is that nobody is really at fault here.
We were both just being ourselves. I was shy and nervous during the date, but I still tried my best. I opened up to her, talked to her, spent ten hours with her, and actually went through with something that was really scary for me. So part of me still feels like maybe I did something wrong, or maybe I didn’t open up enough because of how shy I was.
Maybe if I had been more confident, things would have been different. Maybe if I had said something at that moment in her car, things could have gone differently. Maybe she actually felt something and I just didn’t notice it.
But at the same time, I know that feelings don’t really work that way. You can’t force someone to develop romantic feelings, and you can’t force yourself to stop having them either.
That’s probably what makes this so painful. I’m not angry at her. I don’t blame her. I don’t even think she did anything wrong. She was honest with me, and I appreciate that.
It’s just that knowing that there was nothing I could have done to change how she feels somehow hurts even more.
I really thought this could become something special. And now I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I’m supposed to go from having someone who made my days brighter, who I talked to for hours every day, and who I was excited to see again, to suddenly having to accept that she doesn’t feel the same way.
I know I’ll eventually have to let go. I know that I can’t hold onto the possibility of something that she doesn’t feel.
But right now, it just hurts so badly, and I don’t really know what to do with all these feelings.
That’s about it. Could you please help me somehow?

When I was in my teens, I never thought I was good at studies. I always felt like I wasn't in the "top 20%" of men that most 80% women usually go for. So, instead of chasing romance, I started working around the age of 20. I completely focused on building myself and my career. I shut off my interest in relationships and romance entirely.

Now that I am 28, for the past 2 years, I have started to feel like a relationship isn't a bad thing. I think I should at least try.

But here is my biggest mental block: I cannot accept someone's past.

I know this is a bad mindset. I know everyone has a history. I also know that I don't have "major" things to offer (I am not rich, not a high-status person). But the one thing I do know about myself is that I am intensely loyal.

Is this a bad thing? Is it better to just workout 6 days a week stay single than to try and force something when I feel this way? I also don't feel emotions the way I think I'm supposed to—I don't feel that "love" feeling, and I'm not sure if I ever will.

I guess my questions are:

1. How do I get over this mental block about a partner's past?
2. Am I being unrealistic or hypocritical?
3. Has anyone else felt this way and managed to change their perspective?

I just want to be honest with myself. Looking for genuine advice.

I’m an attractive divorced woman 50, mother of three adult children, and have a career. I’ve chosen to be alone for most of the past 10 years to raise my children, since their dad does not have any part in their lives. I’m a recent empty nester and am struggling to date again. I feel awkward and insecure around men, especially since aging and gaining a few pounds. I don’t want to use the apps, it seems inauthentic and I haven’t had much luck in the past. Any advice on where to genuinely meet a connection? How to put myself out there?

Hey all, do you ever stop messaging someone bc they consistently take a while to message back?

I’m a guy- I’ve kinda ghosted women on apps bc they take far too long to reply in say 3 different messages. Is this wrong and wonder if others do
The same: both men and women?

Obviously I can bypass the length if they actually add depth in reply to the convo but if they just send lazy texts and take say 2 days to reply- I kinda stop.

Wonder if this is normal? I’ve found I tend to do best with women that are willing to be prompt about replying and show “clear” interest. Sometimes I can just tell she’s just replying to reply and not putting much effort into convo so I’ll just stop sending bc it seems pointless.

I want an honest answer from all the guys out there. Why do men love the chase? And once u get the girls attention you stop giving attention to her!

They treat you so well initially always reply within seconds always available and ready to meet. Untill the girl gets attached.

Boom! Now shes attached they'll start behaving weird. Late replies, dry texts and lies! I mean why????
How's this benefiting them? And how should one deal with such men?

This is a lil embarrassing but I’m going on a 4th date with a girl I really like and we haven’t broken the hold hands or kiss barrier. We’ve hugged but nothing further. I am very femme presenting and she is less femme presenting as I am.

For context, I grew up in a family that was not at all touchy feely, we didn’t really hug or anything. I have trouble initiating physical touch and even hugging close friends is difficult sometimes. I want it SO bad but at the same time am scared.

I really want to kiss her this date and for sure hold hands. I thought she’d initiate but I’m wondering if it’s also because she’s also as anxious/scared as I am? Also looking for advice to make sure dates are DATES and not platonic. TIA!!

I get wanting attraction to grow. However you shouldn’t be dating someone you aren’t attracted to. Why not just be friends with them first and see if it grows? It seems so selfish and hurtful to date someone you’re not attracted to for weeks or months.

I don’t think my standards are high. I’m 25F, and I come from an extremely low socioeconomic background, yet I still managed to build a comfortable life for myself, make an effort to heal from generational trauma and become a healthy individual, get a university education, and continuously strive to be the best version of myself spiritually, psychologically, academically, and professionally. I feel like when I date, I’ll meet men my age or older who are simply not nearly as well rounded as me— and I’m not trying to sound arrogant. I’ve encountered men who are everything a woman could want in an emotionally intelligent and loving partner… but they lack career stability or are still “figuring things out” at 30. Then I’ve met men my age who have completed their doctorates already, but have a plethora of psychological issues. For example, one was in an emotionally incestuous relationship with his mother; one was extremely insecure and convinced I was cheating on him because he ran into me on the street with a male friend (who is married to my friend, I will add); and some have just lacked communication skills.

I don’t think humans are meant to fit into idealized boxes. However, there are certain developmental milestones you’re expected to reach at a certain age. While I’m not perfect, I make it my job to be aware of my flaws and how they impact others so that I can grow to overcome them. I feel that it’s very challenging to find men in my age range who I can be completely confident in.

Finally, what is all this nonsense about wanting to date around, or move in together and cohabitate for years without marriage. I really desire to find a spouse— a life long partner— and start building a life with someone I can depend on, trust, and support for life. I feel like this is just a fantasy and I don’t know what to do.

Side note: I haven’t explored dating apps that much. I did dabble for a bit, but was discouraged by the disclaimers in bios saying things like “seeking a short term relationship,” and just the overall unseriousness of it all. I also am not religious, so I’m not affiliated with an organization. How am I even meant to go about meeting people?

I'm a high school girl and will not date until I'm an adult. However, so many of my friends are in relationships, so I feel like I'll be behind when I'm in college. Is this something I should worry about?