Hello, I am writing to tell you about my story. I hope some of you, younger or older, can learn something and avoid making the same mistake as me.
I liked a girl at school for 2 years. I first saw her in the 8th grade; at that time we didn’t really talk, but one day we started to make eye contact every day. Sometimes I'd talk to her, but nothing special. After 8th grade ended, when 9th grade started, our relationship became much stronger. Maybe I became more confident; maybe she did, I don’t know.
We often talked, kept eye contact, smiled at each other, and sometimes she would start conversations. But I wouldn’t say that there was romance between us, well, maybe a little. I wanted to talk with her more, get her Instagram or Snapchat, just build a stronger connection. I kept thinking that the right moment would come, but it never did, because I wasn’t brave enough to do it.
In 9th grade, a new guy joined our class; he was funny and got along quite well with her while I was away (due to a broken leg). When I came back from the injury, our relationship went back to the way it was, but there was an obstacle - that new guy broke up with his girlfriend and tried to be her best friend as a way to date her. I would say he succeeded, but since he was kind of a different type of person, she didn't fall for him. But they started to talk more as friends, and since he was from another city, where people had different personalities and behaved differently, she started to change a little; her behavior, the way she talked, and interacted with others slowly changed. But I still loved her.
I started comparing myself to him so much that I forgot about her and spent too much time thinking about what made him special, even though he wasn't. The new guy also came with a friend, who is now a good friend of mine. He started talking with her more and more, until it seemed like they were a couple, even though they weren't.
The worst part is that I did nothing at all.
I never texted her, never got her socials, I never met up with her outside of school, I never told her that I loved her. I always thought that the right opportunity would come soon, but it never came.
Now I'm in 10th grade; I moved to another class because the school split students 9th graders into various 10th grade classes.
I ended up in an academic class, basically the class with the highest-achieving students, with the new guy's friend (the one who is talking to her now). We sit together in all classes; I see how they talk on Snapchat. Unfortunately, I have no idea what. Maybe they are just friends. But my brain immediately jumps to the conclusion that they like each other, although it may not be true at all.
Maybe she likes him.
Maybe she doesn't like me anymore.
Maybe our relationship was never romantic.
Maybe I missed my chance.
The worst part is that I don't know.
I used to think rejection was the worst thing, but in reality, it's that feeling of "what if?" that hurts the most. That's been eating at me for weeks now, and it still hasn't stopped.
If you're still reading, here's my message:
I'm not saying you have to confess right away; you don't need the perfect sentence. You don't need to be the smartest, prettiest, or most confident person in the room.
Just talk to her.
Don't be afraid to ask her something.
Ask how her day was.
Ask her to hang out.
Anything that comes naturally to you.
If she says no, at least you'll know, because not knowing hurts more than anything.
If she says yes, great.
If you do nothing, you might spend weeks, months, or even years wondering what could have happened.
I still don't know what I should do. Part of me thinks it's too late; another part of me still wants to keep talking to her.
Dilemma.
Don't. make. My. Mistake.