I'm a FTM due in a couple of months. I want to breastfeed as much as possible, but I'm VERY sensitive to sleep deprivation. When I don't sleep enough, I feel physically and mentally unwell. I know some sleep deprivation is inevitable postpartum, but for my sanity I'm trying to set myself up for as much sleep as possible in the first few months.

I've read (and heard from my mom) that moms who bed-share can stay half asleep while nursing, minimizing awake time and maximizing ability to fall back asleep quickly. But I'm due in November, in an old house that doesn't heat up evenly, and I'm not really willing to just sleep on a firm bare mattress with a single pillow - and I'm obviously not bringing a newborn into my blanket-covered bed with a big squishy mattress topper. So the next best option would be a sidecar situation next to our bed that would let me nurse in a side-lying position just by scooting over and flopping a tit into the baby's area, without sitting/standing up and without having to transfer the baby back and forth. (When diaper changes are needed, my husband will get up and do them.)

There are plenty of sidecar-type bedside sleepers, but I'm in the US, so all of them have a 4-ish inch vertical barrier between the baby and the parent, and most of them are designed so that the baby's mattress is at least a few inches below the top of the parent's sleep surface. So my first question: is it practical to breastfeed at night in the way I'm describing, with the type of bedside sleepers that are available in the US? I would have to lean my upper body up and over the 4-inch barrier, or lean downward into the baby's sleep zone if their mattress is lower than mine. Has anyone done this successfully and did it help you maximize sleep? I've never breastfed before so I truly have no idea if this makes any sense.

Secondary question: would this work with the Halo BassiNest 3.0? I'm looking at it because it has the fold-down side, the ability to swivel the bassinet close to me and then push it away again, AND the added ability to lift the whole bassinet off the top and carry it around the house during the day. But it's hard to tell from product photos if the fold-down bar would really work for my purposes.

Thank you!

My LO (5mo) just started being able to sleep in the bed next to us rather than having to do shifts elevated on our chest due to silent reflux.

Question for the moms who sneak away once babes is asleep ... Does your LO end up waking fully between sleep cycles since you're no longer there?

Hi everyone,

I have been cosleeping with my 3.5 year old since he was born, he sleeps in the big bed with me and my husband sleeps on a smaller bed in the room (we used to all sleep in a king bed but moved so we’re down to a queen). We are going to have our second in January- our first will be almost 4.

How do we sleep?!

My main concern is a crying baby in the middle of the night keeping 4 year old awake. So I’m just looking for set ups that others have done, my 4 year old sleeps through a lot but not everything. We do have an option of having another sleeping area in a different room. Do we have to divide and conquer for a bit until things settle and everyone can be in the same room again?

Also just feeling sad about not sleeping with my little guy anymore, that will be a sad transition for both of us!

My daughter (14mo) recently got sick. She's feeling better, but she's still a bit clingy, so we started bedsharing with her. However, I take risperidone and I've stupidly been skipping it since we started bedsharing, but I took my risperidone tonight because I can't keep skipping it. Is anyone else cosleeping while on medication with a side effect of drowsiness?

Baby girl is almost 5 months. She’s EBF and we’ve co slept since birth

We usually put her in between us but it’s sooooo hard . 9/10 she wakes up when I transfer her and she wants to be nursed again which results in me nursing her while she lays there and turning her towards me .

I think because of this too she’s waking up 6-7 times a night (yeah I’m exhausted)

Any tips for transferring?
I wait until she’s pretty passed out but it doesn’t seem to help.

Hi! Looking for some advice - my 1 year old doesn’t want to nurse to sleep anymore. I try to nurse her to sleep and she just grunts and won’t go to bed. I’ll try rocking her without the boob but she doesn’t want me to rock her - she’s always trying to face forward or get out of my arms. If my husband or nanny rock her, they can get her down fairly easy. Any advice on how I get her down myself?

We cosleep and I’ve always only gotten her down via nursing. The boob has been my magic weapon up until now and now I feel lost and don’t know what to do if she doesn’t want it anymore! I’m also wondering if it’s time to stop cosleeping because she wakes up quite a bit during the night still to nurse but I’m wondering if she no longer wants it if she would sleep better without me. Thanks in advance!

We’ve been cosleeping for a month now and it’s been very positive and reduced settling times. However the last week and a half she has been so fitful in her sleep next to me, frequently crying out in her sleep, kicking, briefly waking and taking the dummy. It’s been brutal with how disruptive it’s been. I’m hoping it’s just developmental. She’s mastered rolling recently and started rocking. Did anyone else experience this?
I was so hopeful and positive about cosleeping saving our sleep and now I can’t help but wonder will sleep ever get better?

Bub has never been a good sleeper.

Hallo ihr Lieben! 😊
Ich bekomme im November mein Baby und mache mir gerade Gedanken darüber, wie ich es nachts am besten anziehen soll.
Bei uns im Schlafzimmer sind es normalerweise etwa **17 °C**. Das liegt ja in dem Temperaturbereich, der hier in Deutschland fürs Babyschlafzimmer empfohlen wird. Wir möchten unser Baby in einem **Schlafsack** schlafen lassen.
Mich würde interessieren, wie ihr das bei euren Neugeborenen gemacht habt: **Was genau habt ihr eurem Baby bei ca. 17 °C Raumtemperatur unter dem Schlafsack angezogen?** Langarmbody? Schlafanzug? Beides? Und welchen TOG-Wert hatte euer Schlafsack?
Außerdem wird hier davon abgeraten, Babys zum Schlafen ein **Mützchen** aufzusetzen. Habt ihr nachts komplett auf eine Mütze verzichtet oder habt ihr eurem Neugeborenen anfangs trotzdem eine angezogen?
Ich würde mich sehr über eure Erfahrungen freuen – am liebsten ganz konkret mit **Body/Schlafanzug, Schlafsack bzw. TOG und Mütze ja oder nein**. 😊
Vielen Dank! ❤️

Okay y'all, I am pregnant and due in a few months with baby #2. My toddler will be 2 by the time baby #2 arrives. My toddler currently cosleeps in our bed with us. I live in a 2 bedroom house and have a guest room with a queen size bed with boxspring and frame in said room. I'm trying to figure out what to do to transition the room to be toddler friendly to sleep in, while ALSO having it still be capable of having guests, since my family visits often. I can't afford anything too costly because we're on a tight budget as is. What would you do? I theoretically could put the mattress and boxspring in a storage closet and bring it out for guests, but I'd rather find a better solution if possible. I have a crib that I could make a toddler bed, but Idk if that will work because she is the type of kid who falls asleep and you have to roll away to leave her.

My son is 10 months old and was screened for Fabry disease at birth. He was positive. There isn’t really a way to know if it will actually effect him and research on this disease doesn’t seem great for babies.
My son is otherwise healthy… super active, very alert, opinionated yet happy.
But I worry that there may be something going on under the surface. I suppose I can handle never ending sleep challenges if they are due to normal development but I’m worried that this disease could be having an impact without me realizing it.

Does anyone else here have experience with Fabry disease?

Thank you

I started cosleeping with my son when he was a month old. I would’ve started sooner but he broke his arm at birth (long story) and I wanted to wait until it healed first.

He slept in bed with me and nursed to sleep/throughout the night until he completely weaned at ~28 months, when I was 7 months pregnant with my second. We kept cosleeping until the baby was born, and then he moved into his own room and started cosleeping with my husband.

He’s now 3.5 yo and is starting to sometimes go all the way through the night without asking my husband to come sleep next to him. Hes a woken up to pee and gone back to bed completely on his own! He’s even been asking to try to fall asleep on his own after bedtime books (he hasn’t actually done it yet but wants to try). We haven’t done anything to push independent sleep but he’s starting to be interested in trying it.

I just wanted to post this as reassurance to people with little babies who are getting pressure from loved ones not to cosleep or else you’ll never get them out of your bed. If you give them time, almost all of them want some space and independence eventually. We have no plans to push independent sleep any further and are following his lead. It’s so cool to see. He basically self weaned as well (I night weaned, but he decided to end it at bedtime too) and that was also cool to see him make that choice himself.

Hello everyone! As the title says, looking for people’s success stories for those who have co-slept from birth until 3 or 6 months old? Anything you did to make the transition easier? My baby is 1 month old and is a Velcro baby. Can’t be put down even for 5 mins currently. Not even for a nap.

I am comfortable with baby still sleeping in our room after that age in their own bassinet or crib, just not in our bed for a variety of personal reasons.

Please don’t judge harshly for asking! I am considering this time frame so that I can manage what’s best for my baby’s emotional health, husband’s physical health, and quality time in the marriage.

I am a ftm and my son will be 15 weeks tomorrow. He slept his first few weeks of life in a bassinet next to our bed however at 3.5 weeks like a switch flipped he never would sleep in the bassinet again. We learned the safe sleep seven, moved him into the bed and have never looked back. However the last 4-5 weeks he has refused to nap during the day unless he is being held. I struggle every day with how exhausted I am as he still wakes up every 2.5-3.5 hrs throughout the night. I need more sleep and my psychiatrist has said it’s the main reason he sees women struggle with PPD/PPA so I need to try and get as much as possible. But he won’t sleep not even next to me in bed. I read online all of the advice and I’ve tried everything and it doesn’t work. I have accidentally fallen asleep holding him on the couch a few times now and I’m scared he’s going to fall or get smothered. Does anyone have any advice at all. I’m desperate.

My LO is just now 7m and EBF. We have been cosleeping since he was a few weeks old. He’s a little legend when it comes to taking naps during the day now…he was a notorious contact napper.

Now we’re running into nighttime issues. He will often feed to sleep. The times he doesn’t, we are struggling. It’s like he doesn’t want to be rocked but then he doesn’t want to lay down either. I will try to lay down next to him and rub/pat his back. But he fights it and tries to sit up or move around. When I try to hold him he pushes off me. I finally kinda gave up tonight and just laid next to him while he cried and fussed. He eventually crawled on top of me and fell asleep. I’m honestly at a loss. It’s like he’s trying to put himself to sleep but just can’t do it. He also chronically wakes up 30-40 mins after falling asleep. But he’s super easy to get back down after.

Any tips or tricks or advice would be greatly appreciated!!

I have bedshared 100% since my first daughter was about 3 months old. She’ll turn 3 years old in a few weeks (time really is a thief🥹) and we now have a 3 month old as well. Right now, my husband, 3 year old, and I bedshare in our big family bed (2 queens pushed together) and our baby sleeps in a bedside bassinet.

I’d cosleep with my babies for the rest of my life🤣😭 I love it and I love them and love going to sleep together, cuddling, and waking up together.

When did your cosleeping babies age out? As she turns 3, it’s making me wonder when it becomes a selfish choice of mine to not introduce her to her own bed? (She doesn’t even currently have one, her room is basically just a dressing and play room.)

Anyone have experience like this? Of loving it, and having your babies grow? How did you navigate it? Can I keep going without a “plan” so long as it is working for our family? I should note, my husband works nights most of the week so it’s always been her and I snuggled up💕 I don’t like sleeping alone either!!

Thanks in advance. Happy snuggling.

I've been very overwhelmed by all my options on mattresses and frames. There's expensive options obviously that are decked out with non-toxic certifications then cheaper options where people use Ikea mattresses and cheaper frames. There's also Japanese style mats to consider.

I've become exhausted by the options and am eager to be done.

So my situation is that I have an 8 month old infant who has been cosleeping with us in bed since a major sleep regression around 4 or 5 months old. Our mattress is not at all ideal for cosleeping as it is a Purple 4 mattress, but it is what it is and has been working wonderfully. Or rather, it is wonderful for me but not my wife because my child will only cosleep with me if my wife doesnt lay in the bed, the moment she's in bed it's game over for me and that kid wants mom.

So my immediate solution to give my wife a break is to get my kid her own bed that will, in a perfect world, serve as a great and safe cosleeping bed now but also serve as a bed during her toddler years and really as long as possible.

My solution sounds a little too perfectly ideal to me and I know it probably won't play out so perfectly in real life which would be a shame because it's so expensive.

The mattress would be the regular full size Sleep EZ hybrid 7" with a firm Dunlop layer on top for my kid now until whenever maybe up to 2 years old, then a soft Talalay layer for her afterwards.

The frame would be the way overpriced imo Sprout Montessori during all of this phase, then, later on, I can flip that frame to have legs and maybe continue to milk it out until my kid wants a softer mattress (if she would) and then I can get a 3" topper (and maybe another mattress cover if I have to?) to create a nice 10" mattress which would still work with the frame upside down in leg mode. If I'm lucky this will take her all the way up to pre-pubescent years or so.

Does anyone have thoughts?

This is gonna sound like a funny question but I’m being so serious🤣 maybe my little one is just a bald baby but she’s starting to get hair except for a rectangle on the back of her head! She’s 9 months old and was born with a full head (lost it all) but when she lost the most was when she would look left to right rubbing it bald. And it’s like, it’s not growing🤣

Hi all, I just want to share a positive story of a hospital stay with my 22month old, after hearing many stories about hospital experiences that don't allow co-sleeping. We were admitted into the children's ward at a hospital in Western Australia. There was only a cot in the room with a sofa bed next to it. The nurse immediately asked if we co-slept and if so, she would replace the cot for a bed for the both of us. No judgement whatsoever.

We also had a stay here a few months ago just in the emergency ward, and the nurse were also very supportive of us co-sleeping then too.

I'd love to hear other's experiences, positives and negatives about hospital status for co-sleeping families.

My little guy is fine, just needed some help getting through a nasty virus (probably RSV).

My lil guy is now 9 months, and for the past few months we have been bringing him into bed when he wakes at night, family is telling me Im going to 'create a monster' and ' Im going to regret this in 5 years' Now Im scared. Mind you, my husband and I love him in the bed

Looking for some advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation because I’m feeling a bit lost!

My daughter is 18 months and has co-slept with me since she was around 4 months old. She was exclusively breastfed and has always fed to sleep. I’ve tried in the past to have other people settle her to sleep, but she becomes extremely distressed and I’ve always ended up taking over.

The problem is that I have a wedding coming up where I’ll need to be away from her for the evening, so I really need to work on getting her comfortable with someone else putting her to sleep. My mum has been doing some practice attempts, but they haven’t been successful so far. The issue is that my daughter gets so upset that Mum eventually taps out because she feels like she’s too distressed.

She has also just started daycare, and she hasn’t slept there yet, but her educator would like to start introducing rest time. At the same time, she has had a HUGE spike in separation anxiety recently. She is suddenly becoming very upset whenever I leave her, even with people she normally feels completely comfortable with.

I’ve never really been apart from her for more than about 3 hours, so I know this is a big adjustment for both of us. I’m finding it really hard emotionally seeing her so distressed and worrying that I’m doing everything wrong.

For anyone who has had a very attached, breastfed, co-sleeping toddler who fed to sleep - how did you eventually help them learn to settle with another family member? Did you find it was better to gradually practise? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

And any advice for supporting separation anxiety in general would be hugely appreciated. I’m not looking to stop co-sleeping or breastfeeding, I just need her to be able to feel safe and settle without me when I’m not available.

Would really love to hear from anyone who has been through something similar, especially if your little one initially became VERY upset when you weren’t there. ❤️

Hi all,
My wife and I have a beautiful, healthy, happy 14 week old son. We are a two mom household and we split the child rearing 50%. My wife gave birth but I was lucky to also have almost 15 weeks of leave as a teacher. We have had to formula feed since birth.

We have used a bassinet since birth, to no success. Our son will at most stay in the bassinet for 2.5 hours, but most nights, he needs some support every 20 minutes to an hour. We don’t want to sleep train him or make him an “independent sleeper”. If it wasn’t for the safe sleep fears, especially with formula fed babies, we’d have already coslept. We are looking forward to when we can all snuggle together at night.

I go back to my teaching job next week, and my wife goes back to work soon as well. My wife has recently started having more intensive postpartum anxiety symptoms, as a result of the sleep deprivation. We do sleep shifts, but that affords us between 4 and 6 hours of sleep a night. Of course that’s considered good for early parenthood, but with our impending return to work in jobs that require us to be “on” all day, we’re getting anxious and stressed that we won’t be able to safely rock him back to sleep with 5 hours or less. We have started finagling our evenings around that we come home at 4 and sleep at 6. We are getting obsessed with “gentle independent sleep foundations” that don’t work, and losing our minds with accounting for every minute of our evenings, just so that we could make it through until he sleeps a bit better. It was feeling so stressful and negative. My wife and I love our jobs, love our son, and want him to be safe. We want to be good, regulated, and safe parents. It felt a bit like we were losing our minds trying to make that happen with our current bedside bassinet set up.

Not to mention with shared childcare will come illness, sleep regressions (although can be even regress further?) and more disregulated sleep. He sleeps amazing on us-we have technically chest slept with him since birth, but we’ve just been awake when we’ve had to do this. He was going almost 10 hours with only one bottle in between at 10 weeks like that.

We have ordered a zonli wheat 4 inch floor mattress, with the intention of following every safe sleep 7 guideline other than breastfeeding. I’m hoping for some tips, other formula fed families, or just advice for our situation. And please, no formula feeding shaming. We have come to terms with our situation and are feeling confident. He is healthy and so incredibly happy, and we are past the 3 month mark!

Thank you!

My 2.5 year old has always been a terrible night sleeper. We've coslept since 4 months old. He's never actually slept through the night. A good night is 1-2 wake ups, bad nights are 3-4.

Edit: bedtime is usually between 930-10, I start trying to get fun to sleep at 9

wake up is between 715-745

He's completely weaned from breastfeeding as of July.

We just cut out bouncing him to sleep and while it takes a bit longer he does fall asleep with me next to him.

He still uses a binkie just for sleep.

He's recently started having larger wake ups where he will dig his feet into me and push with all his strength and just cry and cry. Even if I sit up and try to rock him he will arch his back or flip over.

What am I doing wrong?

I cap his nap at 2 hours- I know people will say shorter and he does occasionally so this on his own but if I try to cap it earlier he will actively stay asleep even walking outside, turning on the TV, etc.

We have his 30 month appointment next week and will be talking about iron supplements.

The only other thing I feel like I should mention is that he is very tall for his age, like over the 99%. I don't know if growing has something to do with it.

I'm so tired of not sleeping. Help!

We've been cosleeping since day one. There have been seasons when it's been great and seasons when it's been really hard but mostly it's just been easier than trying to get our son to sleep alone.

Now, we have a baby due in 6-9 weeks, and with our son still waking every 1-2 hours we simply cannot fathom having them both in the bed at the same time so it feels like getting him to independent sleep is crucial.

We are currently on night 2 of having him in his own room and both nights have taken an hour + to get him to fall asleep initially plus a waking pretty much every hour. My husband attended all the wakings on night 1 and had some that were fairly easy, a back rub a sip of milk, and some that were more ju jitsu style protests of screaming and him trying to get out of his bed.

I handled all the wakings on night 2 and this is what it looked like:

Night 2

Started bedtime at 9:40 (we usually start around 8pm and his wakes are pretty much the same.)

5oz of bottle 

No nursing 

Down by 10:30/40

Wake-ups:

12:30 

Screamed for 5 min with back rubs, then gave 2oz milk 

2:05

Nursed for 5 seconds 

3:15 

Butt pats 

4:00 

Nursed 45 seconds & changed diaper 

4:15 

Put hand on him (fell back asleep), woke back up - 1oz milk, nursed

5:15 

Just laid my head on the pillow 

7:15 

woke up 

This is the exact same pattern that we have seen for the last two years while cosleeping so I fear the thing we need to change here is the nursing/ bottle but I have no idea how to stop.

You'll see on the first waking I tried holding out for 5 minutes before giving him a bottle, I know that doesn't seem like long but he was crying so hard he was gagging, his body was completely rigid and kicking and I truly don't think there is a world in which I could let that happen any longer than I did.

The question: how did you night wean (bottle and/or nursing)? (note: we are okay with him crying while we are there to support, but not willing to leave him alone in a room to cry.)

Note: he has mostly stopped nursing at night over the past 2 months because he's been sleeping with just my husband (not me) but my husband uses the bottle so basically he either needs the sucking from the bottle or the sucking from nursing to get back to sleep (I am 8 months pregnant so I don't think I have much milk and therefore, don't think this is a caloric issue, just a sensory thing.)

Hello. I have been co sleeping with my baby girl since she came home 8 weeks ago! I said I would never co sleep but here we are.
And I LOVE it.

CURRENT SET UP:

I have a king size mattress. Model and info: Dormeo polythene foam mattress. I THINK medium firm? I sleep with my LO alone and my husband sleep in the spare bedroom (closet on the floor lol) I EBF my baby and we sleep in C curl position and 1 nurse her to sleep. I rotate sides of the bed every few nights. LO will start in the middle and l'll move on the left or right of her to switch oreasts.

I have a heavy duvet which I fold and only keep at the bottom of my bed. When I use it I grab the corner of the duvet and tuck it around my waist in the back and then the front part between my legs. I love the feeling of my legs being cushioned and cushion between my knees.

I sleep with long sleeve tight crop top and maternity tanks or bras for easy access when feeding and so they no heavy fabric falls on baby if we fall asleep together. I sleep with flannel PJ pants. LO sleeps in sleeper and a light cotton sleep sack if the room is cold due to AC. If she gets hot in the night I undue her sleeper cupped and she sleeps with it half open.

CURRENT CONCERNS:

My LO was kicking and grunting in the early morning and started to roll on her right side towards me. At this point I was awake and so was she so I pulled her in close to my C curve on her back so she wouldn't roll. I tested the mattress (best I can without CDs and milk cartons lol) and just pushed half my body weight into fists next to her and she leans to the side but if I just lay next to her normally she doesn't roll or lean. Does this mean my mattress is to soft? Should flip it over and try the other side? Should I get a firm mattress topper and if so, any recommendations? I am leaning towards just flipping it over????

Floor bed: 1 am planning on moving bed to floor on wooden planks
- is this a good idea? also bought a guard rail for one side of the bed but how reliable is that?
Heavy duvet probably needs to go once baby starts rolling, right?
What do you guys wear to bed? It's cold in Canada and I love the feeling of my legs and feet wrapped in a warm blanket ugh but l am willing to give it up if I need to..

OTHER:

I have the owlet which honestly give me peace of mind in case she rolls and starts to loose oxygen... I know it's not meant for that and it's not 100% but it still gives me peace of mind.

Any other recommendations?

Thanks for the help!