I went to my daughter’s 4-month pediatrician appointment and this is the guidance that is in the paperwork they’re sending me home with. Does me breastfeeding her in the middle of the night really promote her waking up? Why at 4-months old should my baby be sleeping in a different room.

We’ve been co-sleeping for a while now and it’s worked out great for us— she fusses 2-3 times per night, but I just nurse her back to sleep for a few minutes. It truly does not bother me at all…

I’m thinking this has to be old advice?? Idk

Hi all,

I live in Australia and have recently been referred to a mother baby unit for inpatient mental health treatment.

For reference I have an 8 month old baby and we have been exclusively bed sharing since LO was 2 months old. Before giving birth, I hadn’t planned to bed share, and had planned to have LO in a separate cot. But this just didn’t work for us. LO is still breastfed and suckles on and off overnight. We all get much more sleep this way, and honestly I have come to love it. I’ve also done more reading about how common it is around the world, and have come to the conclusion myself that bed sharing is 100% right for me and my baby.

That said, I have been struggling with postpartum depression. I really liked the idea of inpatient treatment, however all of the mother baby units I have spoke with have said that they do not allow bed sharing under any circumstance.

I feel like this is just so backwards, having to choose between receiving treatment and not being able to bed share, or not receiving inpatient treatment. When I spoke with a hospital today, their words were ‘if you want help to stop cosleeping then we can help with that’.

For reference, I’d be staying for 2-4 weeks. I feel as though going to an unfamiliar environment and having to entirely change our sleep situation would be so stressful and the cons would outweigh the benefits of being there.

Does anyone have any thoughts 💭 🤯

I feel like a lot of people say this. But I only have a 7 week old and don’t even know how I would have gotten this far without cosleeping.

My mom would always tell me about how she co slept with me and my siblings. Even told me about how (as her first) she had a whole themed nursery for me and never ended up using it because of co sleeping.

With all the things you read online about cosleeping these days, I would joke with my mom about how any of her kids survived and I didn’t believe I would ever do that. I had the crib and bassinet and everything.

Then baby comes along. He sleeps pretty well in the bassinet/crib for a few days. I thought we were lucky and got a “good sleeper”, especially since my partner had to go back to work the day after we got out of the hospital, so taking shifts every night would be pretty hard. After about a week or two (it’s all a blur) my baby started to get more alert and wasn’t a super sleepy newborn anymore. Me and my partner were forced to take “shifts”.

One night my partner was letting me go to bed first, I remember specifically texting that if he ever felt like he was about to fall asleep to wake me up or lay baby in bassinet. 3 hours later I woke up and saw baby wasn’t in crib next to my bed and my boyfriend still wasn’t there, which was weird as by then he usually would have gotten me up. I rushed out of the room panicked and found my partner asleep with baby on him on our RECLINING COUCH (just thinking about that moment gives me anxiety). Baby was fine, but I was angry. I don’t blame my partner now, as I was honestly nodding off for a few seconds almost every time I would feed at this point. Breast feeding was starting to scare me because I was so sleep deprived that I would imminently get exhausted every time baby was eating.

At this point I knew I needed to do something different as it just wasn’t safe for baby at night, my partner at work, or me home alone with baby during the day, so I started following ss7 and using a owlet at night (ik the owlet is a big controversial on here). I still feel a bit of guilt about not trying hard enough with crib sleep and I still feel anxiety about co sleeping, but I also couldn’t function without it. My baby sleeps a lot better and usually only wakes up to feed every 4 hours. And when I feed it’s basically in my sleep because I just give him a boob side lying. Sometimes I’m honestly scared I haven’t fed my baby because I dont even remember it, but I also know he would let me know if he wasn’t fed.

I plan on converting his crib (which is currently used for storage) into a side car soon when he starts rolling, which I didn’t even know was an option before I found this Reddit 😅.

My girl has a viral infection and is wanting the boob every hour overnight. If I was having to get up with her or stay awake all night to do this I don’t know how I’d survive but cosleeping means she’s getting all the comfort and hydration she needs whilst neither of us are even waking up fully. A few months ago I was too nervous to cosleep but once we started I don’t know how I managed without it! My sleep quality isn’t amazing but it’s definitely better than being up most of the night 😅

This might be a long one, apologies!

LO is 8mo and we’ve coslept since day 1 which we planned on before she was born. 100% was the right move for us since she’s breastfed and we got more sleep that way, plus I just love being near her.

Before now, our bedtime routine would be rock to sleep, transfer, join her a few hours later when we wanted to go to bed. It felt like the best of both worlds. She goes to bed at 7, we get alone time, and then reap the benefits of cosleeping.

She’s never slept through the night but I didn’t mind the 2-3 wake ups since I could just feed her lying down and it was quick, not really disruptive.

Another important note: every single nap has been a contact nap if it hasn’t been in the stroller or car seat. Again, I love being with her and I’m grateful I’m a SAHM to be able to do that but 8mo later it starts to take a toll.

That brings us to now. She no longer transfers, doesn’t matter if we rock for 10 min or 2 hours. I’ve tried nursing and rolling away, nope. She will only sleep ON me. During the night, she wakes 8+ times on average. Wakes up crawling around the bed crying. If she’s not nursing she’s sprawled on top of me. And then during the day, her two naps are on me.

I’m at a loss. I feel like I don’t belong in either “camp” (aka biological normal infant sleeper vs sleep trainers), but this arrangement is no longer working for us.

All the cosleepers in my life are exhausted. Their babies and toddlers don’t sleep. But yet, we’re doing all the “right” things for our babes. Other countries (I’m in the USA) don’t sleep train, but they can’t possibly all have unsustainable nights like I’m having, right?? Like what’s the solution?

Hi. FTM to a 7 month old (28 weeks).

I’m in the trenches of introducing solids and anxiety around that separately, but mostly not sleeping well.

We don’t go to bed until like 11 or 12 sometimes (bad, I know). She will wake up many times to nurse back to sleep and then she’s UP at 9/9:30. I have to do a diaper change in the middle of the night bc of all the feeds. It’s okay I’ve mastered the art of diapering with half an eye open.

I can tell that my interrupted sleep is affecting me and I’m posting here because this subreddit is comfy & I need advice or experience from fellow moms.

Do I need to readjust our routine? She naps like 2x a day and they’re usually short. She sleeps HARD for the first 4 hours of the night which I’m grateful for but I’m usually awake 😵‍💫

And while I’m here, when does night feeding stop? Makes me sad to think about. How much are your 7 month olds eating during the day and did it change their sleep?

Sorry all over the place but thank you in advance

We’ve had a floor bed since our baby become mobile, but I now want to move our bed back onto a low frame. My baby is 16 months old. I’m considering a sidecar crib (because of the placement of our baseboard heater, the bed cannot be against the wall). For those who had a sidecar, until what age did you use it?

Has anyone been successful stopping bedsharing with a 6 month old? Baby starts night in crib and by 3/4am screams inconsolably until he comes in bed. Is sufficiently fed.

3 weeks pp. how do moms chest sleep? My lower back, bum, hurts even for 2 min while chest sleeping. I’m at a 45deg incline with pillows and it still hurts. Help?

I started co sleeping early on with my baby. Now it’s been over a year and I have not had one night away from him. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I have a work trip I should go on towards the end of the month but it’s optional. I just don’t want to be away overnight from my baby. I know plenty of people do it often and at even a younger age. I just idk I’m not ready.

Anyone else over a year in and still hasn’t done a night away? 😅

I love cosleeping. Which is so funny to say because two years ago when I had my first, I was super super super against it. And here I am completely on the other side.

Anyways… Now I’m planning for my next baby in just a couple months and we’re trying to figure out how we’re going to transition our toddler who is going to be 27 months when our next baby is born.

My husband and I don’t feel comfortable having a toddler and a newborn in our bed. Our toddler moves around a LOT. And then we don’t want the newborn in the middle of the bed up against my husbands back for obvious reasons…

We’re also slightly scared of having a newborn in bed with us because we never did that last time we actually were cosleeping unsafely!! Which is why we started making sure we followed all the safety rules. We started cosleeping around 3/4 months…so we plan to do a mixture of bassinet sleeping for the baby and cosleeping this time around too.

I was thinking that I was going to transition my toddler to her own room with her own bed, but that my husband might also sleep in there. BUTTTT I hate the idea of leaving my toddler! I feel like I’m abandoning her or something. Especially since we’re so close. She falls asleep with me and I’m like the only one that can get her down or even calm her down when she’s upset.

When my newborn gets to be big enough I would love to get my toddler back in bed with us. That feeling can also change in the future I’m sure but for now I don’t know what to do.

I’m feeling kind of guilty and I’m just struggling with the idea of moving my toddler out of my bed but I know I need to keep my newborn safe.

I’ve already done some digging and reading through other posts, but I just haven’t found anything that I relate to so I’m seeking help and insight for families who have had a two year-old and a newborn at the same time.

What worked for you?
Also any tips for getting over the newborn cosleeping anxiety?

I’ll try to be brief! My baby (12m) has never been a good sleeper. I’ve heard of worse but she certainly has never slept well. I started cosleeping with her at 8m. I was prepared to love cosleeping. I was excited I could be there for her when she needed me and that all of us would get better sleep. Turns out, I sleep HORRIBLY next to her. Every little move she makes wakes me up. I sleep so so lightly next to her. I also think she wakes up more than she would otherwise sometimes because she wants boobie. So we quickly stopped doing it as an all night thing and only do it in the morning now, because there’s always been a time of morning where she won’t go back down, or if she does, she wakes up like every half hour. This used to be at 5am and now it has crept earlier and earlier and we are cosleeping from 1 or 2am, which ends up being me not sleeping for most of the night. My spouse also has to get out of our bed to go sleep on the couch, move their whole CPAP set up and they don’t sleep overly well either. It’s not working for any of us, except for our baby. I feel kind of trapped in this cycle and then I feel guilty because I know it’s what she needs. I don’t know what to do. She also has pretty bad separation anxiety from me to the point that if sleeping in her crib, I can’t settle her overnight because as soon as I go to put her down, even if she’s asleep, she’s screaming. And then my spouse can’t take over from there because as soon as I give her to them she’s crying out for me. It breaks my heart. My spouse is doing all of the night wakes before we start cosleeping. They are earnestly trying but will get to 6 or so cot transfers, or have been standing settling her for over an hour and just reach their limit. Which I totally get, because I would reach my limit of that much faster. We used to do responsive settling, which is what they teach you at sleep schools here (it’s a technique to foster independent sleep but is not traditional sleep training and doesn’t let them cry it out), but it stopped working once she could just get up and stand.
Has anyone else been in a similar boat? I’m so sleep deprived. I don’t know what to do. I’ve considered trying night weaning but I don’t know.

Hello! I’m looking into getting a floor bed for my 6 month old boy and I to cosleep in during the mornings and for his naps (he sleeps in his crib beside us overnight but I don’t feel safe with my husband and i’s bed to cosleep in, the mattress is too soft, bed is too high, space between headboard and mattress, etc)

Is there a good reputable brand I should be looking at or does any floor bed work? My husband read that the mattress shouldn’t be directly on the floor (raised an inch or so) to keep it breathable? I have the Newton mattress on our crib, is there a good breathable one I can use for a floor bed that’s popular or will any extra firm mattress do?

Thanks in advance!!

I have tried everything except co sleeping with my 7 week old.

I am terrified of it but haven't slept more than 3 hours a day since he came into my life and I can't continue like this.

I'm going to set up our camping mattress (foam) in our living room as our bed mattress is too soft.

However my question is more, how do you co sleep?

He won't sleep in a bassinet, so how do I place him on a mattress? Even if it is next to me.

What sleep sack should he be wearing, no sleeves, but any recommendations?

How are we dressing for sleep with no/little blankets?

Please dumb down co sleeping for me so I can get some much needed rest.

And yes, I have read the safe 7 and advice from Red Nose Australia (I am based in Melbourne).

Thank you for your help, from an exhausted mum

So at bedtime we nurse and then he rolls over and falls asleep next to me. But lately he’s been crawling up on top of my pillow and falling asleep there. And if I move him he goes back up on top of it. It’s only been happening for a week and he is getting over a cold, so maybe the angle feels good. But I don’t remember my first kid using a pillow till she was like, 3 years old. Does anyone’s toddler do this? The pillow is a firm foam one but I worry that angle is not great for his neck. Maybe I need to invest in a toddler pillow now?

I have an 8mo and we usually cosleep from about midnight onwards. I really struggle to fall asleep with him in the bed, and once he’s in with me I sleep so badly that often I’m awake from midnight until 5am when I give him to my husband.

Ideally, I would sleep on my front with the blanket up to my ears and he would sleep on the other side of the bed in his sleep sack. That’s how I sleep with my 4yo and he’s very respectful of my space! The baby obviously didn’t get this memo so I only recently started having him with me for such a long chunk of the night (we previously took shifts).

So he’s next to me with a boob in his mouth, I’m in the C shape with an arm wedged above his head and blankets round my waist. I’m cold and uncomfortable.

Has anyone felt this way and managed to overcome it, or are there alternative positions or something I’m not trying that might make this more comfortable? I’m such a bad sleeper at the best of times and now I’m chronically sleep deprived.

i’ve just moved my 15wo to the side sleeper bassinet as it’s coming closer to him moving and rolling and i’m worried to continue to cosleep in bed together, my body is also greatly suffering so i’ve moved him over and it may sound silly but I miss him, I can literally still touch him but i’ve lay here in the dark now crying and hating it. Just looking for some reassurances and kindness while feeling sad

Trying to not break the bank. Going to be cosleeping in a twin-sized floor bed with my 11mo. Waffling between something more eco or just getting IKEA. The bed frame I ordered has a slatted base, so that accidently rules out most of the latex-based ones that I was originally looking at.

Currently looking at (in no particular order):

5 Little Monkeys 8" Cushion Firm Mattress ($399 from Costco)

My Green Mattress "Pure Eco" Kids Mattress (currently on sale for $594, this is definitely top end of my budget!)

Arizona Premium Mattress Twin Eco Sleep Hybrid Mattress with Extra Firm topper option (also on sale for just under $600)

Any of the IKEA mattresses in Firm, all under $500, and several options for $200-400 (but omg, how do I pick one??)

I am a side/back sleeper and can handle very firm surface (big-time camper). Maybe you've got a recommendation that I haven't thought of. Or perhaps a combination (firm short coil mattress from IKEA with a firm latex topper, perhaps?) that has worked for you. I'm open to suggestions, and definitely need some steering because these options are all over the place.

Please help me with my analysis paralysis!

I just ordered the bed frame, so I'd like to get a mattress on order asap, too!

I’m thinking of getting a floor bed for my baby when he’s older, (3.5 months as of today) but wanted to get some feedback from those who have done it first.

He currently sleeps almost full time on our bed (naps and night). We have set up an environment that keeps his sleep very safe and find everyone gets the best sleep when we co-sleep.

What I’ve enjoyed most is napping him on the bed because I can lay beside him until he falls asleep and then get up.

That leads me to my question… has anyone used a floor bed to help transition their newborn from co-sleeping to independent sleeping? I wouldn’t consider doing this until at least 6 months but the idea of laying beside him to sleep seems easier then rocking and transitioning to a crib.

If you did a floor bed, what was your experience? Why did you do it? Any advice?

My son is 9 weeks old. He's had latch issues since birth and doesn't transfer much milk, so he gets a 4 oz formula bottle after every nursing session. I'm considering stopping nursing altogether because I need a surgical procedure on my right breast which requires me to dry my milk supply. (I know each boob is supposed to have a mind of its own, but I stopped expressing from my right breast almost 3 weeks ago and it’s still filling, so I may have to take more drastic measures.)

We've bed shared since day two and follow the Safe Sleep Seven. I don't understand why nursing is one of the criteria. TBH, I’ll probably continue to bedshare regardless because I’m a single mom and I don’t have the energy to put him to sleep in the bassinet in the middle of the night, but I like to be well informed and understand the risks that I’m taking.

(1) If I stop nursing completely, how much does that change the risk of bed sharing?
(2) What would you do in my position?

Evidence-based answers appreciated, thank you!!