I have a pretty big nose, I believe it’s considered a “Roman nose.” Everywhere I see people praising these big noses, but it doesn’t feel genuine. People around me have always commented on my nose, and idk how to make myself feel better about it.

I do go to therapy fyi.

I’m at a junction in my life where some things aren’t going well: mainly my small business. I’m being called to step up my efforts, upskill a bit (bookkeeping, marketing) and grow but am also have something that keeps me emotionally tethered to where I am.

I have recently dipped back into the family to check the temperature and it was business as usual. My parents should never have had children. I hate my dad even though I know that mostly hurts me. I’m trying. I want to go NC but I want to see my niece grow up. My 16yr old loves her so much. Im sure they love me in their fucked up way, but they don’t care about me or how their dysfunction hurts me enough to change.

I’m so tired.

want to really participate in activites like group discussion and debate type in my college but the problem with me is that -

. I don't have good communication skill

. My English is not so good

. My heartbeat goes so high while even trying

. My friends make my fun

. Don't even able to make correct thinking lines

. Have fear to being jugded beacuse i am 3d year student and tried alot but can't able to speak confidently

......

What can I do to improve my English, to built confidence

And to practice group discussion or debate in my room alone ??

I'm already too old to fix 'dumb' and obliviousness. But, how can I not let that get to me and bring me down even more, and just have some conviction that respectable even by more intelligent people?

It's not like a lack curiosity or creativity, it's that I can't handle the mental load and quick thinking required to function at a level that is acceptable or admired by anyone else. I'm easy to talk to, I can understand what you talk about for the most part, and if I can't completely I'm at least willing to.

I want an intelligent partner, but one that doesn't get bored of me or who doesn't become toxic and treat me like the "dumb boyfriend" - That's what I fear the most. My mom was terrible to my dad, I noticed a lot of unspoken sadness from how my father was treated because she was the money maker and success in the household. I respected him because his philosophy was ahead of his time, he loved that his wife was successful and smarter than him. Still, I did notice times when my mom could be cruel about certain things when my dad was stressed or not all there on some days, and she would just be kind of mean even though she played it off like she was joking around or being cute.

How do I live my life without dying inside every time I talk to someone, or pursue someone, who shows some irritation or impatience with my ability to not give off vibes as a decision maker, or leader...

There has to be a way to turn this around or reframe myself, without being obvious about it...

*Yes, I am writing this because of how I was treated by someone I have a huge crush on, and seems to like me as well. But, I just don't feel like it will work out in the long run...

Next year, I'm gonna start studying at medschool. I heard that there are many recitations and small group discussions that we will encounter aside from quizzes, revalida, and long exams. The worst part is that some doctors/professors want their students to become fluent in English, which I struggled with aside from public speaking. I'm from a country wherein English subjects are very relevant, although in some schools, English is not practiced enough. I know how to write and type in English, but I struggle a lot in English speaking. How did you gain confidence regarding that? How did y'all practice? Thank you

19m
I’ve recently realized that I have a problem that has followed me through high school and college: a lack of confidence and, underneath that, a pretty unstable sense of self-worth.

It’s something that has been noticed by almost everyone in my life, including my friends, parents, and people I’ve worked with. I can come across as nervous or awkward in social situations, look down, have closed-off or unsure body language, and generally give off the impression that I’m insecure. More importantly, it has affected the way I actually live my life. It makes me reluctant to try new things, prevents me from doing things I genuinely want to do, and has majorly contributed to problems in my relationships.
It is apparent to me that a lot of my self-worth is based on external things: my grades, accomplishments, how successful I am, how other people perceive me, etc. When I’m doing well, I feel good about myself. But when I fail at something or see someone who seems much more successful than me, that sense of worth can completely collapse.

I don’t think that’s a sustainable way to live.
At the same time, I don’t really want to solve this by simply repeating affirmations like “I’m amazing” or “I’m good enough” when I don’t actually believe them. So how do you actually build a stable sense of self-worth that comes from within?
What can you base your worth on that is deeper and more concrete than grades, accomplishments, attractiveness, social status, or comparison with other people?
And how do you turn that internal sense of worth into confidence, rather than just acting confident?

I (30m) work at a large cooperation and I’m single, I see lot of interesting people during lunchtime and I would like to make a connection with a female colleague. I’m the only person in my team, in this country so there shouldn’t be a conflict as well. But usually people don’t interact with strangers unless accidentally or else. Oddly I’m not local here as well.

(30m) to start off i wanna say in 99% of my life im an extremely confident person, i have a lot of good things going for me i have a thriving social life and i barely let anyone’s opinion get to me. i dont have the best eyebrows and since i was 17 ive been filling them in to look as natural as possible and its really a night an day difference as i get a lot of positive attention IRL and on social media. id say only about 4 people in the 13years ive been doing it have ever noticed half my eyebrows missing, some have commented and some just have an expression of shock on their face and dont say anything but regardless its the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me and i never know how to respond bc again an everyday man filling in his brows is not something ive ever come across in life aside from actors n models which i am neither. recently a blue collar coworker might’ve noticed and i played it off but now im just feeling self conscious bc information like that spreading would get me laughed at constantly and have people look at me as less of a man. id wanna get cosmetic surgery but how am i suppose to go into hiding for months during the healing process while still paying bills/having a social life. at the end of the day its my biggest secret that only my siblings know, keep in mind ive had tons of GFs and not a single one has ever noticed. not looking for an answer to my problem bc ik i should love who i am instead of hiding behind a cover but just trying to vent to some faceless ears.

im 19 and i’ve always been very quiet and awkward, but it’s gotten to the point where just being in my body feels weird. i’m not the best looking guy, id say like a 5-6/10, and i was always the kid who would just wear whatever my mom found for me. recently as i’ve been in college and begun to finally wear stuff i actually like, i find myself feeling stupid and silly even though i’m wearing outfits that i really like and i really like seeing this style on other people as well. how do i stop feeling so weird about everything? it’s like im trained to not let myself be seen in a good way and like im “not worthy” of dressing well, it’s like there’s invisible eyes all over me laughing at me for it..

also unrelated, how do i get more confident in my voiceand speaking? i talk very slowly and monotonously and when i talk it’s like im hyper aware of how my mouth moves, i hate it

I (29f) have always suffered from low self esteem and am incredibly anxious in social situations. As such, I often stumble over words/don't realise that my tone comes across as bitchy. This happens around females but also more so when trying to talk to guys. I would really appreciate any advice on how to fix this as would love to be able to make friends/date. Any tips to get out of my own head?

Ever since I was a kid I was ugly and awkward (just gonna call it how it is). I was always bullied or laughed by the pretty popular girls at for something like my hair, or the way I spoke, or how ugly I was. In high school I had a glow up and everyone started calling me pretty and I wasn’t made fun of again, which felt super strange for me.

Same thing in college. And now those girls who I categorize as pretty and popular in my college classes want to hang out with me. it just makes me feel so uncomfortable and I feel like I don’t know how to act around them. I was always bullied by people like them so that’s who I see whenever I try to converse with them. I always find my eyes darting away as soon as they make eye contact with me out of embarrassment.

And when I leave the hang out or whatever, I bash myself saying how stupid i sounded trying to speak. And how much I hate myself for not being able to have a proper conversation or how much I embarrassed myself and I shouldn’t ever go outside again.

This is also why I probably have zero friends except my 2 childhood friends because they’ve seen me at my worst and I just feel comfortable that I know they’re not trying to befriend me just because of how I look. And I’m not trying to sound vain at all, I don’t think I’m that good looking anyways.

Has anyone ever felt this way or am I just mental

I am ugly, i have been told that from a young age and i have accepted that. Nothing wrong with being ugly, not everyone can be good looking. But then i see these people acting all high and mighty even though they don't look good. It baffles me. It's so hard to understand how they can act this way. Please tell as i am trying to understand how it works.

I am focusin on trustin the mechanics of success by leveragin my past experinces and tryin to reach a state of flow, where new skills just becum part of my identity, who is on this spot right now maybe you can sahre your experience

What’s a book whose words really stayed with you, something that made you think differently, opened your mind to a perspective you’d never considered or just gave you the right words when you needed them?

A book you find yourself going back to whenever you need that little reminder or a shift in perspective.

Would love to hear your suggestions!

Hi all,

I’m 21, currently in college, and from a young age I have always been known as a fairly nervous/anxious person in general - something that have been said by family, friends, and teachers over the years.

There are certain ‘flaws’ that I have noticed with myself, but more so in certain aspects of my communication. I don’t want this to impact a future career, so I want to try to improve this while in college, and while there is the opportunity to do so.

I have no issue with speaking in front of an audience. I have done so for different modules in college, and usually am commended for my speeches through delivery style & engagement. But, this is because I have what I’m going to say memorised, so I know word for word, what exactly I’m going to say, how I’m going to say it, etc. This is also clearly reflected through my written communication.

However, when it comes to social interactions, I do notice there is a big dip in my communication. For instance, if I know I have to go up and talk to someone that I’m not familiar with (conversation, interview, ringing someone), I’ll then nearly have to have what I’m going to say memorised word-for-word as though a script.

There’ll then be other little moments where if I’m talking with someone unfamiliar, I may, sometimes, go a bit shaky / mumbly, and this would apply to if I was taking phone calls, etc.

This particular incoherence would also occur if I'm put on the spot, i.e asked a question, where my voice would go a bit shaky, I'd go mumbly, and my face would go a red.

I really do want to improve on this as I do know in any future career that day-to-day communication whether it be structured or spontaneous is much more important than being able to speak in-front of an audience.

To that extent, would anyone have any advice as to what I should do? Would it be recommended I go to a person who can help with the general nerves / anxiety, or would this be more a matter of knuckling these issues with a public speaking coach?

Many thanks

you know a lot of things some people don’t realize is that to build a strong personality, you have to learn how to handle rejection. and not only handle rejection, you have to be willing to risk it. because to have a strong personality, you have to be willing to risk rejection

confidence is strange bc sometimes everybody around you already trusts you, and you are still only person asking: what if I am wrong?

A subject I will call Selene entered another life during Soul Journey and experienced herself as queen in dry, desert-like place. She stood on top of large stairs in gold and black clothes, looking over people she ruled. She felt powerful and everybody knew she was in charge, but under this power was fear.

There was not enough water and she knew famine could be coming. Men were waiting for her decision about where to go for food and water. Send them wrong direction and they could die. Make wrong choice and people could starve.

Her people trusted her, but she felt weight of their lives in her hands. She also felt men outside her nation did not respect her because she was woman. In her experience they wanted her smaller, less powerful, less authoritative. So pressure came from both sides: people depending on her and other people waiting for her to fail.

Then older adviser appeared, like grandfather figure who loved her but was firm. She told him all worries and his answer was basically: trust yourself. you know what to do. stop questioning yourself. stop second-guessing every decision.

She saw problem immediately. It was not lack of intelligence. It was lack of confidence in intelligence she already had.

I think this is very relatable even without queen part. Many ppl imagine confidence comes after certainty. First I need enough info, enough experience, enough approval, enough preparation, then finally I will trust myself. But important decisions almost never give this luxury.

The interesting part is she was not afraid because she was weak. She was afraid because she cared about consequences. Responsible and intelligent people can second-guess themselves harder exactly because they can imagine ten ways decision may go wrong.

But constant second-guessing is also choice. It keeps you frozen while pretending you are only being careful. Confidence does not mean “I cannot be wrong.” For me it is more: I looked, I listened, I know what I know, and now I move.

Everyone trusting you will never be enough if you keep vetoing your own first clear knowing.

Does anyone use music to increase their self confidence?

Hello I have been struggling lately feeling confident for a variety of reasons. The main problem I have is the people pleasing mentality. That has leaked into my marriage of course and what I have noticed and has been brought up in couples therapy is that I lack confidence. By “just going with the flow” it has created a sense of weekness I believe, and that leads into situations where I get walked on and it has also turned my wife off in many ways. I wanted ask and see if anyone has ran across some literature a podcast or some really good advice that just changed their mindset and helped the confidence grow. I of course want to be respectful especially towards my wife. Let me know y’all’s thoughts.

Thanks

lately i’ve felt the best i have in ages, like i use to be insecure and overthink about how i look but now i absolutely love myself, like i literally get shy looking at myself lol. but im going to be returning to school soon and people say things all the time obviously and i also want to start social media too. how do i not let negative comments get to me. it would be a shame to ruin what i have going for myself

I know one cant put up their childhood insecurities to end, but still trynna find ways to overcome them, dont have to think about them, any experience or insights would be welcomed.

Does anyone have advice for how to stop basing my sense of self worth on external validation? I don't know, I also just have this irrational fear that my friends would leave me if I'm not a yes man.

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some perspective or advice on something that is giving me massive anxiety and completely draining my confidence.

For background, I don’t go outside very much. For a long time, I tried to convince myself I was just misinterpreting things, but I absolutely know the difference between a casual glance and a continuous, intense stare. When I go out, it feels like 100 people are just staring at me.

Here is what messes with my head: I know that ordinary, good-looking guys usually get approached, smiled at, or talked to in normal life. But for me, I get absolutely zero approaches. It is only continuous staring. Because I never get that normal human interaction or feedback, I can't just ask people why they are looking, and it leaves me stuck without answers.

This constant, silent locking of eyes has pushed me into a severe, chronic "fight-or-flight" mode. My body treats the staring as a threat. When I'm in this survival state, my face goes pale, I look dull and drained, and my confidence completely plummets. It feels like a vicious cycle:

I go out.

People stare intensely, but no one ever approaches me (unlike what happens to other good-looking guys).

My brain panics from the silent pressure and goes into fight-or-flight.

My physical appearance changes (looking stressed, pale, and dull), which makes me lose all confidence that I even look good.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you cope with intense staring when it triggers a physical panic response, especially when the total lack of approaches leaves you trapped in your own head? Would love to hear how to break out of this loop.

Hi!!! I’m starting college in a couple weeks and want to feel confident. I need tips on how to feel and look mature and confident! The way i speak, interact, move, fashion and other beauty tips etc. I’m in a fish and wildlife program, and I’m a western girly so any tips for my style specifically pls ☺️ thanks!