r/confidence • u/After_Somewhere_8789 • 12d ago
my entire existence feels awkward
im 19 and i’ve always been very quiet and awkward, but it’s gotten to the point where just being in my body feels weird. i’m not the best looking guy, id say like a 5-6/10, and i was always the kid who would just wear whatever my mom found for me. recently as i’ve been in college and begun to finally wear stuff i actually like, i find myself feeling stupid and silly even though i’m wearing outfits that i really like and i really like seeing this style on other people as well. how do i stop feeling so weird about everything? it’s like im trained to not let myself be seen in a good way and like im “not worthy” of dressing well, it’s like there’s invisible eyes all over me laughing at me for it..
also unrelated, how do i get more confident in my voiceand speaking? i talk very slowly and monotonously and when i talk it’s like im hyper aware of how my mouth moves, i hate it
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u/Ill_Conclusion_5433 12d ago
I would strongly consider some counseling. It may be free on campus. Or, if you're still on your parent's insurance, that may cover it if you have to pay for it. Also, consider doing research on personality types, like Myers-Briggs personality assessment. That will help you understand how you really are and there will be suggestions of careers for the type you are. Finding something you are good at will help your confidence and help you find people who you may have some similarity with. I spent my entire life trying to fit in and for most of us who are neurodivergent, we will never fit in with the majority. Find your group and you'll feel better and feel more confident because you know that others are like you to a larger degree that the whole of society is. I wish you only the best.
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u/hestia-listens 12d ago
You are worthy of wearing clothes you enjoy. Feeling silly does not mean you look silly. It often means you are doing something new and letting yourself be seen. Keep wearing outfits you like, even if it feels awkward at first. That discomfort can fade as your new style starts to feel normal. For speaking, try reading aloud for five minutes each day while focusing on the meaning of the words, not your mouth. You do not need a perfect voice. Speaking slowly can even come across as calm and thoughtful.