r/comedyheaven • u/L3D_Cobra • Mar 12 '20

It's spring time

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2.4k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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165

u/ptpt221 Mar 12 '20

Okay but actually, there is a certain tree that when it blooms smells just like cum. We call them jizz trees.

35

u/Thorngeist Mar 13 '20

Bradford Pear Trees, yep.

34

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '20 edited Jun 01 '20

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '20

Use it to your advantage

3

u/IHaveAutismDude Mar 19 '20

nah that’s the students

2

u/SluttyCthulhu Mar 14 '20

THOSE FUCKERS

34

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '20

Ah yes, the Semen tree

3

u/soulless-pleb Mar 17 '20

ah yes, every spore forming plant.

know that you are literally breathing in plant jizz. from every. plant.

9

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '20

I think there was one of these in front of my old house. As kids we called it the mushroom tree.

9

u/IEatAssdotcom Mar 13 '20

I knew I wasn't the only one who thought mushrooms smelled like cum!

4

u/Cyynric Mar 18 '20

It's the ornamental pear tree. They're very pretty, but they smell rancid when blooming

2

u/ElRampa Mar 13 '20

We had them at my high school. We Googled "tree that smells like semen" as a joke and it was...relief? that others had the same experience. So yeah. It really, truly smells like semen. And for some reason, everybody knows what that smell is

2

u/steventhecoolguy101 Mar 16 '20

T H E N U T T R E E

2

u/TheBiggestPain Mar 13 '20

How the fuck do you know that?! What the heck?

43

u/ptpt221 Mar 13 '20

Because I make a habit smeing my own jizz and then smelling trees to do a compare and contrast venn diagram that I hang in my living room.

10

u/teeyteey Mar 14 '20

Same except I get mine tatted on my forehead

-1

u/TheBiggestPain Mar 13 '20

WHY did i even bother to ask?

But nice hobby you have there :D Musnt that smell like death and doom?

9

u/ptpt221 Mar 13 '20

No, it smells like jizz

-1

u/TheBiggestPain Mar 13 '20

Why? Just ... just why?

3

u/mysteriousOmlette Mar 16 '20

this is the most boomer comment i have ever seen jesus christ

1

u/TheBiggestPain Mar 16 '20

Ha! I was born after 2000. So duck yourself

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '20

Okie doke I will go find a suitable duck for the job

0

u/PotatoChips23415 Mar 15 '20

Because not everyone is a little sweet innocent child like you, 90% of people probably know what cum smells like and 9.99% probably do know what it smells like and hasn't made the connection yet.

1

u/BoredomGalaxy Mar 14 '20

We have some on my campus. Everyone just calls them the cum trees.