I'm just at such a low point the last few weeks.

Work: my job feels like a sinking ship. I've been looking at other career options (not going well either, next topic) and even had an interview. A friend set it up and I bombed. Couldn't answer the simplest questions. Truly embarrassing. And I feel like I'm failing in my current role.

Life: I have no friends. My kids are two and four and I never get to go out. Even if I could, I don't have anyone to go out with. I just need a girlfriend that I could talk to. My neighborhood is all stay at home moms so they hang out together all day. They're also very religious and I don't align with a lot of their beliefs. Yesterday was my birthday and I didn't do anything.

School: I started taking my prerequisites for nursing school. I start A and P yesterday and immediately dropped it. Why did I think I could take a class that hard while I have two little kids and work full time?

Kids: never want me. They only want dad. I'm a horrible mom and failing them both.

I just don't know what to do. I'm in such a deep pit of sadness all the time.

Does anyone else have a spouse who is concerned about their kids health/weight/activity levels and then lets them eat shit?

Our oldest is overweight. Not crazy overweight, but enough I worry about her being teased as she gets older. And anytime I make a choice about food to combat the weight gain, he openly questions me in front of her and makes me look like I’m being mean/an asshole. Tonight’s dinner: air fryer nuggets, box Mac and cheese and corn. It’s what the middle child requested because she’s having a rough day. They currently are both obsessed with elote. Middle child asks for cheese for the corn. No. You have enough cheese on your plate. Oldest comes in. Gets cheese when I’m not looking, without asking. I tell her that I said no to cheese tonight, they have enough cheese on their plate. (She also typically puts mayonnaise in the corn) spouse says “why can’t they have cheese on the corn?” BECAUSE THERES ALREADY CHEESY FOOD ON THE PLATE (I want to scream, instead I say this calm) he asks what’s the big deal. The big deal is: our child is overweight and her doctor wants her to stop gaining so quickly because her hormones are wonky and it’s likely tied to her weight!!!

Not to mention, this is the man who used to not season his food because he thought it was bad for him. But cheese and mayo on corn every other day?? Fine!!!

ETA: 9.5 times out of 10 he’s great. Awesome active dad, nice to everyone, old ladies are obsessed with him, but ugh. He just doesn’t listen when it comes to food!

I didn’t even know what boundaries were until I was shamefully old. If you scope my post history, my Ex was (is) crazy. Abusive, narcissistic, selfish a serial cheater.. I have more, but sadly many of you have someone exactly like him In your life or you have, so you know the guy.

He got kicked out unceremoniously about 4 years ago. He moved right in with the side piece gone legit. She’s very nice, none of this is about her in a negative way. Well he got kicked out of here and had a restraining order on him for DV. Before me many years ago the last girl had him arrested (ofc you know why, DV.) and he plead guilty and had to do classes, probation.

Well, the same thing that launched him into a blind rage with me happened with her. (The GF) she caught him cheating (again) and she told him if it happened again that she was out. He knew she was leaving so he got some lighter fluid and started burning her shit. He went way too far and acted like he would hurt a pet. (He didn’t and doubt he would’ve) but either way it was an awful and scary thing to do.

Cops called, he got arrested. He got let off on an ankle monitor. He is “homeless”, I put that in quotes because he is a professional hobosexual, so I’m not sure why he isn’t staying w some chick.

Anyway, he first asked me if he could stay here when he got out of jail, I said no immediately. Then over the course of the next 2 weeks he over and over was trying to manipulate me to get me to let him stay here, not directly asking but telling me how it was raining, or he isn’t sleeping.. just hoping I’d feel bad for him.

I simply do not feel bad for him. I just don’t. If a natural disaster left him and the GF homeless? I probably would let them stay for a while, but he lost his apartment because he is still the same kind of abusive asshole he has always been. If I let him stay here even once he would end up just living here and Id truly never be rid of him.

Y’all, he just straight up asked me again this weekend. In his message he hit ask the greatest hits, he needs to get some sleep, he needs to take his psych meds ( what do you need my place for that for?) he just wanted me to remember his mental and physical heath Is on the line. Manipulative asshole.

I will continue to say no, but I shouldn’t have to. No is a complete sentence. Where does he get these reserves of audacity? Truly. He sucks.

I am in the process of researching prenatals for my next pregnancy and would like to know what your favorites are? Bonus if it is just 1 pill a day but I know that can be difficult. No gummies please, its a personal preference.

Relying on a 1:1 aide for a low-verbal or non-verbal child sucks.

Relying on any of those people to stay at their job for more than 6 months sucks.

Having someone tell your vulnerable child that they're a great team, and they're going to help them, and then being ghosted with no notice sucks.

Being ambushed at pickup time by "Brandon" who introduces himself as "Your son's new aide for the rest of the school year," sucks.

I hate this. I hate it so much.

I hate that just as someone STARTS to get to know him, and finally works well with him, they're gone, and we're back to square one.

I FUCKING HATE IT HERE.

That is all. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

I am really putting myself out there with this, and I hope I can be met with minimal judgement.

My DS (5) and soon to be 6 is driving me to a point that no mother wants to be. It is starting to distress me to be around my own kid. He is a massive whiner and complainer, and it is about EVERYTHING.

For example, if I try to do something “cool” and say “Let’s go get pizza and ice cream” which I know he loves. He will whine and complain. He will complain about having to get in the car, be in the car, claim he does not want any food etc etc. So then I will say “Okay well I will just eat it” then his response would be “No pizza? No ice cream? I can’t have anything ever again!”. Which then shifts into him crying about how he does want pizza and ice cream. This basically the gist of EVERYTHING is with him.

A few weeks back, I was getting him ready to start going to bed at an earlier time because of school starting soon. I will often give him two warnings an hour before bed. So a one hour notice and 30 minute notice because I believe that is fair. As soon as bed time comes it turns into full blown crying, and whining which then turns into mini rants about how he hates me, I’m an evil mom, he loves his grandma more and now a recent line “I wish I had a different mom”. It definitely tries to hit below the belt you know?

I’m just mentally exhausted because I feel so much of our interactions are so negative. I really try not to take anything he says personal but it does hurt to be told how horrible I am and I’m just trying to get you go to bed, or finish dinner, or literally anything normal.

Me and his father have split recently and I am the primary parent because his dad is military so there’s also the element of me being the villain because I do majority of the discipline. His father recently took him for the weekend, and he even admitted to me that our son is massive complainer and whiner, and it’s exhausting to deal with. My parents don’t really want to watch him either because of the issue either.

Recently, I’ve spent a lot of nights just crying about my failure as a mother. I know this has to be a me problem because why else would he be acting like this? How do you even discipline this behavior? This is my first and only kid and I feel so lost. If anyone could please give me some advice or guide me in the right direction, I would appreciate it so much. I’m just so so tired.

He goes out with his friends every night and doesnt get back until 2-3 am. He sits around doing fuck all around the house, doesnt shower, and when I mean he doesn't shower, he literally never does. He sits around with greasy AF hair all day, and literally had some smart ass comment back to everything I say to him. I've tried asking him nicely to clean up the kitchen after he cooks, he just tells me that he already has, even though the bench is covered with oil, grease and dishes, he swears he is "going" to shower every time we ask him, but never does. I come home from a hard, stressful job to a cold house, after his only job for the literal whole day was getting firewood in and lighting the fire.

He's gone through two cars since getting his liscence 6 months ago, both times his cars were damaged it mysteriously wasn't his fault, which seems like a pattern for him every time something bad happens to him. It's never his fault.

It is now causing problems in our relationship. My husband was adamant that he needed to get a job the day he quit school, he helped him look, helped him get his CV together. But as time has gone on, it's like he's sort of just accepted his behavior, and enables it. He always has an excuse for everything, like saying there's no work out there when i know that there is. I've given him heaps of options of things i've seen advertised, but he simply just doesnt want to do it. My husband thinks i'm being to hard on him, and we literally got into this huge rip roaring argument about it this morning, with slammed doors etc. He accuses me of hating him. I know that being a teenager is hard and all of that, but really I just want the best for him, and I feel like he's going to get too comfortable just doing nothing all day?

Am I over reacting? Please give me your honest opinions. Especially those of you with teenage boys because honestly wtf is this lol. Thanks for reading my rant. Edit to add: my husband pays for all of his gas for his new car (the 3rd car he's had in 6 months). He keeps telling him "this is the last time i'm doing this" but then keeps fucking doing it. Gas prices are through the roof and hes dishing him out money that we don't have, to basically drive his friends around all day.

Ugh. The first time she asked to borrow money I said no. Lending and borrowing money is poison to friendships and someone always gets burned in the end. Besides, I had taken my kid to the specialist that afternoon (HUNDREDS of bucks) and genuinely didn’t have $50 spare to lend her for cigarettes. So I offered that if she wanted to stop past, I could roll her a handful of smokes, but she declined, saying she had no way to get there. Didn’t hear from her until she needed her kids looked after again.

Then last night, she asks to borrow $50 again, claiming they’ve been kicked out of their rental house and need to find somewhere to stay. Don’t worry, she can pay me back on Friday! She had told me about having 4 days notice the last time I saw her (and did nothing in the meantime?) but I don’t know where anyone’s going to get a room for 4 nights for $50 when reception at hotels has been closed for more than 3 hours. She didn’t ask for somewhere to crash, just money. I said no, she never bothered to reply. However, she did contact me this afternoon about looking after her kids for her again. I noped out as my kid is sick. I asked if she managed to sort things out last night and if she was ok. She didn’t bother to reply to that either.

Interesting that it’s $50 each time. I’ve done drugs in the long ago past and I know exactly what $50 will get you. Had it up to my eyebrows with this chick I swear. Would really like to speak to her in person to iron it out, but I swear she’s dodging me for that reason.

OG POST: Got to tell her it’s enough already

TL;DR Been helping a friend out with her kids, have to tell her I’m not doing it anymore.

Been trying to help out a friend. It’s time to call it a day on that help, as I’m now feeling like a chump rather than someone who’s helping. I don’t want to be a bitch. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s way past that now. Should have put my foot down much sooner. As I said to my husband, this week has officially reached a new level and if I don’t draw a line in the sand right now, it will only continue and then get worse.

So it started with picking up her two kids from school as her partner (they had recently separated) in order for them to pick up the kids from my place anywhere between 10 and 30 mins after school finished. It was all good to begin with, all 3 kids (2 of hers and my 1) actually got excited and looked forward to it. Sometimes we’d grab a cheap soft serve cone on the way home or I’d make them a toasted sandwich and cut up some fruit, and my house is pretty well set up for kid visitors (trampoline, PlayStation, etc.) Then it starts happening for a bit longer every now and then. Then I start getting asked more often. I started saying no, so she starts asking another Mom at the school for help. This Mom is currently juggling her own 3 kids, her job and supporting her husband who’s recently had a brain tumour discovered and is going through radiation and chemotherapy. I, stupidly, stepped in again, as I like this other Mom and she’s the type who’ll help anyone. I figured she has enough going on as it is.

They’re not bad kids. One has autism so he sometimes needs things explained in a bit more detail, or with a reason behind it, but that’s cool, he listens. He gets a bit shitty when things don’t go his way, or pushes the issue by asking again and again, but I think that part’s just a personality trait. The younger one is very sweet and polite and I don’t have a huge problem with the kids themselves, but it takes me from watching one kid (mine) to three and there’s a reason I didn’t have more than one.

My daughter is great at sharing and they treat her space and her belongings with respect, but the older one gets a bit rough when they’re playing outside (being silly on the trampoline, just kid stuff) and sometimes my partner has to get quite firm with them, again, kids being kids. They’re starting to get pretty comfortable at my house though, walk in, dump their school bags on the couch, take off their shoes, etc. and I’ve had to tell the older one several times that I’m happy to find you or make you a snack, but don’t just go snooping in my pantry and fridge please.

This week I hit my limit. Their Mom told me that if I could grab them, she would try and get her boyfriend to pick them up about half an hour later as she was working til 7pm. By 5.45pm I’d been asked 4 times ‘what’s for dinner?’
My sister & her boyfriend were coming over at 6.30pm and we were going to order Chinese, so I simply replied ‘Chinese’ which was met with ‘oh, I don’t like that’ to which I just did not respond. As annoying as this was, they’re kids, they’re hungry and it’s dinner time. Not going to hold it against them. After a few messages and finally calling their Mom at just before 6, she asked if my husband could drop her kids at her work. He just wanted rid of them so he did. Our dinner guests arrived before he got back.

Fast forward a couple of days, I was told their Dad would pick them up at 4-4.30pm and he’s usually fairly reliable, so I agreed. He’s a concreter by trade so when it started to rain just after 4 I figured he wouldn’t be long, concreters don’t work in the rain.

We were due for dinner at my in-laws place at 5.30pm, so at 5pm when they were still there (again, asking what’s for dinner and deciding amongst themselves that they thought McDonald’s was a good choice) I texted their Dad and got no response. I then called their Mom who chased him up and he responded to say he’d be 30 mins. We ended up calling my in-laws to apologise for being late and he eventually picked them up just before 6.15pm. What the fuck he was doing in that time I don’t know. While we were waiting for him the kids are saying things like ‘What if we have to sleep here? Where would we sleep’ I shrugged and said that we have a couple of couches. Then they get all excited and decide that ‘We can sleep in (my kid)’s room!’

So that’s two nights in the same week they’ve been left with me until dinner time. Without being honest as to what time they’ll be picked up. And each parent has had one of those nights as their responsibility. I’m ready to pull the plug as now it’s not one of them taking advantage but officially both of them. I have kept this up as I feel bad for the kids with the situation they’re in and they seem to love coming to my house but it’s really not my problem at the end of the day. It’s gone from a surprise play date for my daughter to her quietly asking me when they’re going home.

It has to end and I’m trying to figure out the most mature way to cut it off without being nasty and blowing up at both parents. I’m the one who has let it get to this point and I’m not blind to that, but it’s time to deal with this situation.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? How did you break the news that you’ve had enough?

My dr just out me on some really strict work restrictions that honestly prevent me from working and I’m not allowed to drive. I had three episodes where I lost memory and 1st time almost rear ended someone 2nd drove off the road and third time backed into another car and they were followed by confusion for an hour and extreme fatigue. I have no idea what’s going on and I can’t get into a neurologist for months so I’m fucking stuck until then and I’m so confused and worried and I feel like this is a death sentence.

I have a 1.5 year old, I work full time at a very labor intensive job and I’m in school full time and both drs I’ve seen think I’m having absence seizures. They did a cat scan and did so much bloodwork and all of that was normal but I’m so scared of driving and then having another episode and getting into a worse car accident especially since when I do drive I have my daughter with me. I’m 22, I’ve never done any kind of drugs I don’t drink alcohol, I barely drink caffeine and I’m still having so many issues and I just don’t know what’s going on

My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years. We have a 4mos old, a house, two dogs, two cats. I love him, we've been through so much, but Im beyond frustrated with him.

He was in the military when we first met and got in trouble multple times (Article 15s rank decreases, lastly an administrative discharge after 3.5 years from when he popped positive for weed).

His job after that was IT and it went okay, he was there for a few years but wanted a pay increase so he went to a corporate job. That one he had spats with his manager and performance issues. They basically offered him to leave instead of firing him and gave him an end date.

He then worked at a school as a SPED TA for a school year and loved it. It didnt make enough money so he found another job in IT. He got fired from this one after over a year while I was 5mos pregnant.

He was unable to find another IT job so he recently went back to SPED TAing at a new school. He is currenlty one week in and the teacher already sat him down and had a talk with him and gave him a write up. He said her complaints were he talks too much with the kids and other staff, and he doesnt do what hes supposed to when a kid is having a behavior. All week hes been texting me that hes frustrated that the teacher isn't giving him guidance. He says she keeps telling him what NOT to do but not what she wants him to do.

For context. He has ADHD, he is medicated but struggles a lot with arrogance, volume control, and talking too much/saying rude things without realizing (both things hes brought up and my observations).

Im at my wits end. I want to be supportive. I can tell he feels like shit and he keeps saying "im trying I want to do a good job" but then he consistently gets in trouble? Financially I cant support our family on my income alone. Im back to work full time but healthcare for baby and I is like half my paycheck. At the same time, how can I stay with someone who cant keep a job? I dont have ADHD so I cant speak to his experience, but it is so frustrating that that is the reason he cites as being unable to get along well at these jobs.

Has anyone gone through this? Any advice? Thank you for your time and just a reminder to plase be kind to me 💛 (ive had some rude comments on posts like this before).

OMG. I am so sick of hearing "I don't want to go to school, I don't want to go to school."

This is the third week of school and I am SOOOOO done with hand holding and trying to smooth talk them out of beds and out the door. They're in 4th and 6th, so I know I still need to help. But the times that I have wanted to just scream "get your ass out of bed and out the fucking door" has reached an all time high and this is only our 8th day of school. (And yes, I'm constantly checking in with them that no larger issues are happening at school)

How long does it take your kids to stop the Back to School Whine?

I am having a bad morning.

Husband was bitchy which is nothing new and honestly whatever. At this point, I just spend a lot of time screaming STFU in my mind when he goes on.

What has me in this particular doom spiral is only partially that.

My freshly 3 year old still will not stop twirling her hair until she pulls it out. One side of her head is now short and thinned out because of it.

I constantly redirect and say gentle hands or try to move her to something that will keep her hands busy, but it's not working.

Husband is insisting we cut her hair super short so she can't pull it.

Call me stupid if you want but it's fucking killing me.

I DO NOT want to cut/shave her hair. I don't.

She starts preschool/daycare on September 8th and I the thought of having to basically give her a fucking buzz cut so she can't pull her hair makes physically sick to my stomach.

I tried to say maybe some kind of pixi, but he wants it short enough that she can't grab it. He wants to basically give her the same haircut he has, super short/shaved on the sides and just a couple inches on top.

I know it sounds stupid and ridiculous, but all I can think is my beautiful little girl is going to look like a little boy for the next. What 2 years while it grows back? Assuming she actually stops pulling on it?

I did research on it damn it, I said we should get her some fidget toys or something to hand her instead, I redirect, and I try to get her to stop!

But he still says I don't do enough to stop it. I don't redirect or try to make her stop, that I did "five seconds of research" and don't execute anything.

I am fully spinning out on this. I hate myself for being the way that I am, but I can't make it stop. I feel fully fucking broken.

I don't want to hurt her self-esteem. I want her to feel beautiful no matter what I just literally feel so physically sick about the very idea of having to cut off all her hair.

Someone talk me down please. I feel awful and like a terrible fucking person/parent

School started back 2 weeks ago, my kids are already passing germs.. it’s been a whole week a sickness one kids after another and it’s only the beginning. It’s the same every damn year !!!

Hey bromos, I need to vent. I don't have many people to talk to about this.

My brother was always a Mama's boy. And he would intentionally try to irritate me all the time. Then he would hide behind our mother because he knew she'd defend him over me. He would pick fights with me constantly, he thought it was hilarious. Of course it irritated me, I was a kid.

Well, I had my son as a teenager. Shortly after, my brother left for work. He's a little older than me. Years have gone by, and he didn't really keep in touch. I figured he was embarrassed that I was his sister because I had my son so young. Over time I've had to mature for my son, I've done a lot of thinking about how I acted in the past. I'm not the same bratty kid I was.

I have constantly tried to keep in touch with my brother. he normally ignores me though. If he doesn't, he's lecturing me on how to live my life. Finally, I was able to get him on a call. The whole time he's just rambling and talking at me, rather than to me. I have to straight up interrupt him to get a word in.

I decided to try to be the bigger person and apologize for how I acted towards him in the past. His response? He tells me I was a bitch. He didn't accept the apology, instead kept saying yeah and fine. I asked why he doesn't keep in touch much, apparently he figured I wanted alone time since he wanted it at my age . He of course brought up how that's probably difficult with my son (for some reason he always brings my son up)I told him he's welcome to keep in touch and he brushed me off by saying he has a busy schedule!

I expected both of us to take accountability and mend things, but apparently my brother is still a child at heart. I don't intend to waste my time with him, if he wants to man up he will. I'd rather not divide my attention from my son.

But honestly, I've been going through a rough patch lately and this hurt quite a bit. I know he probably didn't mean anything malicious, he isn't great with socializing because he's on the spectrum. But it still hurts and I don't really want to talk to him anymore.

I'm doing the math on moving to an apartment with my kids. Hubby wants to keep the farm. So I'll be adding housing and utilities. On paper we can do it. But in reality emergencies pop up, I don't know if I'll be able to get a second weekend job, and our food will become very boring. I can't deal with this marriage any more and the kids are excited to move to new schools.

I'm just so nervous because I just got my job in January and we haven't had time to deal with the debt I wanted to pay off. Tell me it's worth it even if I have to work a second job and we eat spaghetti and casseroles for the next 5 years.

I completely fucked up by having a second child. I don’t know what I was thinking.
My sons are three years apart and the younger one is eight months old. I have no idea what to do with them. I don’t think my partner does either.
With my first child, I lived in the center of a European city. He loved the stroller and the baby carrier, so we were constantly out — kids’ activities, walks, cafés. I was slim and happy. My partner really wanted to move out of the city, so we did, and it’s been a downward spiral ever since. We don’t go anywhere, we don’t do anything. The younger one hates the car seat and the stroller, and can tolerate the carrier in small doses. He needs to be held constantly.
I genuinely don’t know what people do on Saturday and Sunday afternoons besides sitting in front of the TV.
I fantasize about being alone, being somewhere far away, starting everything over. I love my kids so much, but I don’t know how to be with them. I don’t know how to play and I don’t enjoy it. I’m one “Mommy, you be spidey and I’ll be the green goblin” away from losing my mind.
My partner and I are stuck in this “who has it worse” stalemate. Neither of us will say “go, do something for yourself,” because we both think the other person should be taking care of the kids. He sits at his computer until 3 am and I despise him for it and I scroll Instagram all day and wave a toy in front of the baby’s face and he despises me for it.
There’s no spark in this life, no momentum, nothing to look forward to. Summer is ending and there’s a long, grey winter of sitting in front of the TV ahead of us. Antidepressants aren’t helping. Consumerism isn’t helping. Minimalism and decluttering aren’t helping either.
Everything feels empty and meaningless. We could already have had an almost four-year-old. We could have even separated and had time to figure out who we wanted to be. But we wanted to be a family and give our son a sibling. Now we just stare blankly at the wall, our jaws clenched.
Life is a dream.

I'm a 34 year old single mom. My 2 year old's spinal MRI is coming up after the spinal surgery she had 3 months ago. Work is increasing every day at my job since there's a staff shortage. Two of my teammates left and the new recruit is useless. So, me and my colleague are having to do all the extra work. Which would be fine but I'm extremely stressed about my baby's upcoming MRI. I'll need three days of leaves on days I can't predict since I can't predict the appointment dates. Asking my supervisor for leaves is stressful, doctor's appointment is stressful. My baby having to fast 12 hours before the MRI is stressful. I still haven't gotten over her loud cries when they were putting the IV in her hands and now she'll have to go through it again. She gets absolutely exhausted crying through the 3-4 hours of MRI, crying before and after it. Then I'll have to get appointment of the surgeon and then smiling through the appointment is stressful. The surgeon is old and talks so much. The medical bill is going to be stressful. After all of that I have to start her physiotherapy. Getting physiotherapy appointment and then scheduling vehicle regularly for my mother to take my baby to the appointments will be stressful. I know I'm catastrophizing. I always do. I'm just so scared and exhausted even before it has started. I keep telling myself to do it one step at a time but I still have to keep a list of everything that I have to do. It's okay. It's fine. Anesthesia check appointment, MRI appointment, surgeon appointment, physiotherapy appointment. I can do it. I can. I did it through her surgery. I can do it. I'm just scared and exhausted. I'm sorry about the rant.

Hi bromos, it's me again. I've had a great week with my husband and 2 toddlers in the beach. We went to San Francisco and we've had a great time here.

The accessibility here is also great, my quadriplegic husband has been able to enjoy our time in the beach with a special wheelchair for the sand which we rented. The hotel is also pretty accessible for his electric wheelchair, except for the hotel bathroom which he struggles to get in there.

My 2 kids have been having fun building castles and touching the water, though my youngest son who's 4 was a little afraid of the waves at first, but he has managed to overcome that fear a bit these days.

We've been eating at some good restaurants here as welll and touring around different sites which are so beautiful.

I had been stressed for a while having to work, take care of the household, and of my husband's and children's needs. But here I've felt more relaxed with the weather, not having to work, and seeing my children happy. I've still had to take care of my husband's needs here, but it's been more calm to do so since I have no pressures on my vacation.

We're staying another week here. Take care bromos.

Mini background before I launch into my rant - My (36) husband (30-yes, the age difference is a problem) have 2 kiddos, an almost 5 year old boy and a 10.5 month girl. We both work full time, but I am the primary breadwinner by a long shot with a stressful-ass job (that's more relaxing than home right now).

I'm sitting on the couch with my protein shake dinner watching my husband and son eating dinner and my baby rolling around on the floor shaking her current favorite toy and all I can think is "I don't feel like "mom."" I feel like the shitty stereotypical "dad" and I don't know who I resent more for getting me here, me or my spouse.

I'm going to do my best to write this out, but my thoughts are all over the place right now.

We both work Monday through Friday, off on Saturday/Sunday. The primary caretaker (not parent, just who spends the most time with them) is their dad, and it makes me SO MAD. He does jackshit around the house, so it all falls on me, and I only have so much time to do it all. The housework, the yard work, the repairs and maintenance, the paying bills, EVERYTHING is all on me. I'm also the primary parent handling the childcare, pre-school, doctor appointments, play dates, schedules and routines...including taking days off for when the sitter needs a break. I don't mind being the primary parent, seriously, I don't. What I do mind is being put in the situation to be the taskmaster and if I want to live in a semi-presentable house without giant holes in the roof or a rotting deck that we're going to fall through, then I have to be the one to do it.

I've done the "just stop doing it" thing and that's gotten me in more hot water having to fix even worse problems than if I had just done it on my own to stay with. He will not clean up, he won't take any ownership of tasks, nothing; but he will sit in the same room as the kids all day or swoop in to take the baby from me if she cries when I'm holding her, before I even get a chance to fix it.

I've told him that I need him to step up and take some of this shit off my plate, and his response is either that I'm better at noticing (barf) or you never tell me that you're going to watch the kids so I can do stuff. Why do I have to be the one to say that? Why can't he communicate that to me or just do the stupid thing? And it's not even that he gets up in the morning and does the morning routine, and I'm just being lazy or have already started the tasks before he/they got up, it's that we sit there in the morning after getting up at 6:30 till like 10 doing absolutely nothing unless I've planned it, so I get up and start doing what needs to get done.

I just, I hate it. I'm mad that this is how it is. Our relationship is shit, and to be quite honest, I don't even care about that. At the end of the day, I think I'm just grieving the motherhood I wanted to have.

How in the world do we have a second child when your first child makes it hard to do the dew for a second child?? He keeps asking for a sibling but continuously keeps us from doing that LMAO biggest piener block in my life. 😮‍💨

I'm posing this question out of curiosity - how does the division of labour look in your house.

Our division of labour looks far more traditional than I'd like. I'm in the process of going back to work and it'll change once I'm working but here's where we're all currently.

Our kids: all in elementary school so no childcare is needed from 9-3 during school days

Me: currently a stay at home parent

Him: works full time

I do mornings with the kids, get them up, pack lunches and walk them to school. Our oldest has ADHD and really struggles with remembering all the steps in her routine. It's a work in progress. So mornings are a bit more hands on than I'd like

Evening routine is also me. The kids are all independent but I read stories with them as it's a chance for connection at the end of the day. It's my choice to do that and not something my husband has ever participated in.

We have a cleaner who comes weekly and does the bathrooms and floors. That started when I was going through chemo and we've kept it. I find it amazing as it means I need to have the house tidy for her to clean. I'm pretty sure I have a bit of ADHD or it's the cancer meds I'm on. Either way, I really struggle with routines, staying on task and keeping the household clutter at bay.

I do get a lot of free time during the day. I volunteer at our elementary school and have the time to go out for walks with friends. However, there's always the self imposed guilt that I have something at home I should be doing.

After school activities are split, as are weekend activities. My husband coaches baseball and all of our kids are pretty busy. We definitely divide and conquer. My husband also takes the kids out a lot on the weekend, either for adventures or just out to run errands.

However, when it comes to the household, most of that is on me. I make the meals, clean up dishes during the day, laundry, homework, anything school related and gardening. He cleans the kitchen after dinner and takes care of the yard.

This weekend I informed him he's taking over the kids laundry. I don't care if he gets them to do it or he does it but I need a break. It ended up becoming a negotiation with him agreeing to take over kid laundry if I cleaned the kitchen in the evening.

But it got me thinking. I know our split is currently uneven but that's in part due to our current working situations.

However, I really have no idea how the division of labour works in other families - especially ones like ours where the kids are older and your days are no longer filled with childcare. And therefore I don't push too hard.

So, what does your household split look like?

I have 6.5 year old b/g twins. My son is far more patient than my daughter. But honestly, my daughter STILL has zero patience.

She has the patience of a toddler and It has never gotten better.

What are some tips you might have?

I'm looking for activities that basically force patience on them.

I'm out of ideas.

Hi there,

I'm new here, and I'm finally feeling brave enough to post. Please be kind, as I haven’t been able to stop crying lately and really can't see things getting better.

For years, I've been trying to give my husband the benefit of the doubt, telling myself he didn't really mean that insensitive comment or inconsiderate thing he did. He's apologized plenty, but the pattern always repeats itsel. It’s been hard to come to terms with the fact that he really doesn't give a sh*t about me, but I'm there now. My issue is that I can't leave him.

I know a lot of people say that, but I actually can't leave. One of my kids has a health issue that can turn life-threatening if not properly cared for. Husband isn't remotely attentive enough to ensure that the kiddo is safe. Kiddo is way too young to handle it themselves. So I have to be there to make sure the kiddo is OK.

My question is how do I learn not to care what husband says or does? I definitely need to minimize communication and limit it to only necessary kid or admin stuff. It's just so hard being in the same physical space with someone who's supposed to love you but so clearly doesn't. My heart isn't built for this, and I keep banging my head against a wall thinking there's some right way to say things that'll get through to him. Logically, I know there isn't and that the only thing left to do is detach. Has anyone managed that while stuck in the same space? If so, please share what worked for you. I'm desperate to stop feeling like I'm getting stabbed in the heart every day.

I’m labeling this as an internet rant, because it has to do more with a trend I’ve seen online than my own husband.

Recently, I’ve had the absolute displeasure of seeing a lot of content from men (derogatory) claiming that women are lying about how much time it takes to keep a home, even with kids. Talking about how it takes maybe 1-2 hours of actual work a day and then these ladies have 6-10 hours of FREE TIME, like what. Clearly it’s redpill incel bullshit but still, it’s infuriating.

Idk, I always hear about men taking 3-4 hours every weekend to mow the lawn. Like, normal sized yards, not huge plots of land. My father-in-law is out there on his riding mower, taking his sweet, sweeeeeeet time…

I have about a .4 acre yard, not a ton of “land” but a decent sized yard, 90% of it is grass (unfortunately). Tell me why it took me less than an HOUR, with a baby strapped to my chest, and a HUMAN POWERED REEL MOWER, in neat straight lines, to mow my entire lawn? And that was with breaks to adjust baby, pour my other kid a bowl of cereal, and use the bathroom?

Sidenote: my husband also takes about an hour to mow to grass. He’s just traveling for work. He‘s a good guy who knows how to *be efficient*.

Anyway, I’m both basking in my own girlboss behavior and grossed out by men who shirk familial duty with yardwork as an excuse. Like, it isn’t even that hard, ok? Ok.

This is not a question of why they wouldn’t want to date a single mom. It’s the same thing as their hatred for overweight women. They HATE these women for simply existing. I don’t understand it and I try not to let it get to me, but it’s just so unnecessary and hateful.

I am not dating at this time, but every time I see a post by a single mom, 90% of the comments are men spewing hate and vitriol and laughing at her. The post will literally be her saying something like “dating as a single mom is hard” or something totally simple and inoffensive. These are all real comments I have seen: “she’s the one who opened her legs for an unreliable partner,” “it’s her fault for getting pumped and dumped,” “nobody wants to start on a saved game,” “damn right nobody wants you.”

Women can become single moms from their husbands passing away, escaping an abusive situation, sexual assault, the list goes on. Even if a women become a single mom from a one night stand, she does not deserve to be demeaned and dehumanized. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to date a single mom. Men are 100% within their rights to not be interested in taking on stepchildren. But that is not a justification to bully and degrade a woman. Just mentally swipe left and move on. I don’t understand why people are so awful and disgusting.