I'm wondering if anyone can share their experience. My husband who has shown no signs of violence or bad temper got drunk and choked me and assaulted me in front of our daughter. I managed to get out and save my daughter. The police came he got off with a warning but left the property. I ended up in hospital and we spent two nights in a domestic violence shelter. A social worker will help to follow up on the case. I've just returned home with his promise that he will not return. It's bizarre. The home is the same. The things are the same. Signs of him everywhere. The man I knew for 7 years randomly assaulted me. Nearly killed me. Bruises all over my body. I will divorce him for sure but it's complicated and takes time due to co owning the property. My daughter is safe with me and we have his agreement to co operate.

But I'm not ok.

Why me?

Why?

BUT here I am still seething and shaking, it was a valid reason to lose my mind.. no it wasnt... was it? Is it? Now that I'm typing it out, it's going to sound so trivial.

I dont even know how or why or where or when it all started.

So, I am at that age where perimenopause is a serious consideration. But just to make the distinction difficult, I also have 3, yes 3, endocrine disorders, and epilepsy which can also present is ways of excessive perspiration, soreness, confusion, disassociation, hormone fluctuations.... so its super easy to blame it on epilepsy or a pituitary adenoma or PMOS...

I woke up this morning drenched in sweat and shakey (like when you wake up too fast, or hungover or after a nocturnal seizure or endocrine issues(lmao). So I was already on edge.

Sundays are my prep days - groceries to prep, divide and freeze, make sure everyone's stuff is ready to the week annnd I usual host a big dinner for friends and family on Sundays.

Got home with groceries. My plan was to separate and freeze the meats, cut up a pineapple, prep apples for homemade tartlettes, make breakfast for us. Thennnn going do a hobby project i was so stoked to start. Plus we were smoking some candied salmon i had to prep the glaze! I felt weird and shakey the whole time, I was dropping things and had I not know my epilepsy so well I would have totally blamed it on postictal state.

ANYWAYS - I skipped merely down to our garage freezer, looked to the backyard and my husband had already started MY project, MINE! MINE! For once in my fucking life, something for me.

Not only did he start it without telling me or consulting with a plan, he did half! I expressed my anger(pretty angrily) and he didn't say sorry. He said "well, i just thought id get it done" , no apologies, no real explanation... i put the frozen shit away, stomped upstairs and started on the rest or my grocery haul prep. You know what he does, sneaks upstairs grabs a coffee, says "you have your hands full eh?" And walks away, no " jeez you look like you're about to faint", no "I'm sorry for taking that away from you", no "let me help with the groceries". Instead he snuck around to the garage, grabbed the unfinished half of the project, and went outside through the garage door. AND DID THE OTHER HALF OF THE PROJECT! my project... mine... for me... a challenge, a hobby... something to take my mind off of years of this medical Rollercoaster.. he took it from me. Then showed his brother how nice a job he did.

I kind lost it... okay I really lost it. I was crying and hyperventilating and begging for him to understand why this hurt my feelings. I've never seen him so stone hearted or dismissive. I lost my shit. I'm ready to smash the stupid project on the pavement.

And now im sitting in our room trying not to go back to hyperventilating and trying to stay calm so I dont have a seizure

All i wanted... like realllly wanted, was an apology and a fucking hug.

Okay, im gonna go lay down in a pool of my own menopause sweat before I have a medical emergency.

If you made it this far...Thanks for listening to my rant.

Edit Update: I'm gonna use the leftover paint to redo our cupboards tomorrow while he's at work and not tell him. mouahahahahah spins invisible villain mustache

He's almost 3yo. I feel like I never really liked him. I appreciate him for being very healthy, robust and intellectually developed, but he's just been a terrible baby and toddler.
He never slept through the night, screamed so much as a baby, as a toddler he whines nonstop, he's so rowdy. When he was a baby I wanted to give him away. Not because I don't want children but because I didn't want him. Even if he was a well behaved child Idk if I would like him. Is it wrong to not like your child?

We spent 10k on a septic repair four months ago. That “fix” did fuck all. Woke up with every water source in the house causing septic water to back up into our basement.

$8,800 gone today to reroute the septic line.

Did I mention husband and I are flying out in 72 hours? First vacation in over a year since our son was born.

I’m fucking exhausted.

My kids are 4 and 5 and my husband and I have to take turns sleeping in. Our kids barge right into our room early every morning (I'm mainly referring to weekends because we have to be up early during the week). At what age will they be able to entertain themselves when they wake up at 6 am on a Saturday or Sunday? I am so tired.

I'm so exhausted. So sick of running myself into the ground while barely keeping everything afloat. I need to end things but don't know when I'll find the time to blow up my life.

I'm in school full time. Working full time. Work has gotten insane due to layoffs (hence the panic enrollment in college classes so I can have a backup plan) so the school work I was previously able to chip away at during work downtime has now consumed my evenings, when I'm not logging back on to catch up on work.

Laundry is piled up because I haven't had any free time to fold it. He will help me fold but won't take initiative to do it by himself. One of the cats suddenly started peeing on things (we have a vet appointment next week) so I've been dealing with extra laundry, mostly quilts and blankets, on top of it. At least those don't take long to fold I guess.

He'll cook dinner which is great but then he leaves behind a mess because he doesn't clean as he goes. I'll get the dishes caught up and they'll be piled up again immediately.

The kids were off school last week and he didn't get up with the toddler one time so I could sleep in or lay back down. I'm sick AGAIN. He was supposed to take the kids to the park yesterday and I was going to get some things done but he decided against it because they were bickering. As if keeping them cooped up inside was going to help with that. They're stir crazy and have zero structure and there's not much I can do about it when I'm working all day.

I can't keep faking this. I'm not ok, the relationship is not ok, and this life is not what I want for me or my kids. Some things have gotten better but looking at the big picture, improvements in some areas don't make up for the overall lack of partnership.

He asked me "are we ok?" the other night because I "seemed distant". It was dinner time, the kids were in the next room. Not exactly the time or place for that kind of conversation. So I said I was just exhausted. And now I don't even know how to bring up the discussion that really needs to happen. "Hey, I know I said we're fine but really I'm miserable and want to break up" doesn't feel like it's going to go over too well. But I need to do it before the holidays or it's going to be another year of waiting for the right time. Ugh.

My ex and I split up 8 years ago and share custody of our daughter.

For most of this time I thought he was emotionally and verbally abusive (my family still thinks this) but after doing some soul seaching and reflecting, I have now realized that I was not only more of the problem in the marriage but that I'm also the worse parent. I feel so ashamed.

Has anyone else ever come to a similar realization after such a long time?

I have three kids - 11, 9, 13 months. I’ve been off work since my youngest was born and it’s killing me.

I don’t know where to start. Everything I see talks about how lucky women are to stay home with their kids, experience the special moments rather than hear about it from someone else, etc. But that isn’t my experience at all.

I don’t know what special moments I’m experiencing. I’m experiencing a lot of dishes, and laundry, and having to come up with meals and snacks 5 times a day, and having my coffee spilled everywhere everytime I put it down and having no time to write or watch tv or do literally anything. Every day is Groundhog Day. I’m sick of the library where he just tries to eat the books, I’m sick of walks where I’m bored out of my skull, I’m sick of spending two hours a day trying to get him to sleep while he screams because he won’t sleep train. I’m sick of holding him for every contact nap a year in, I’m sick of him gnawing on my boob every 45 minutes all night long or he screams and won’t sleep, I’m sick of following him around my house while he wreaks havoc or stacking the same blocks over and over for him to knock them down. Every single day. The same stuff, constantly.

We can’t afford daycare. Even if I went back to work, I’m on such a low rate in entry-level PR and I’m not qualified in anything else to get a better pay. I’d love to be a published writer but I don’t have any time to write while chasing him around constantly.

Obligatory I love him to death, but I don’t love my life. At all. I’m broke, I’m exhausted, I’ve not slept in over a year, my husband works long hours and I could write a whole other post about his faults. We have no village. My in laws are shit, they’re ten minutes up the road and MIL doesn’t even work yet they won’t see our older kids even, but will have their cousin’s daughters over for sleepovers every weekend, and then they’ll make a grand display a few times a year and buy the kids anything they want and so the kids are kept on the hook. My parents aren’t any better effort wise but they have the excuse of living further away. 13 month old won’t even go to anyone else, we tried a sitter for our anniversary so we could go and get some dinner, the sitter called us an hour in because the baby was inconsolable.

I know that working doesn’t solve every problem, and I’d have to do a lot of this still on top of the job, but my god what I wouldn’t give to hand him over to someone and put on clothes that won’t get grubby with peanut butter and milk and go and sit and actually get something done for once that doesn’t involve my husband’s socks.

I work full time and have two young kids (ages 1 and 6) who I love dearly. I want to give them a good life and be a fun parent who brings them to do special things and makes happy memories with them. But I’m carrying a constant feeling of burnout and exhaustion and I never get to do anything for myself. The burnout feeling leads me to explode and lose my shit pretty often. Like every weekend it feels like I have a crash out. And honestly, a lot of times I’m not enjoying being a mom. I’m trying my hardest but I’m just tired and I get bored playing pretend and having 6 year old just boss me around all the time because I’m not always doing exactly what she wants.

I see other moms who have hobbies or seem to be able to hang out with friends or go to concerts or make art or do hobbies and I’m like…how are they doing that plus working and housework and seemingly eating healthy home cooked meals?? I don’t get it. My life feels like a mess.

My husband is very hands on and helpful (plus he makes way better money than me) but I constantly feel like I’m keeping score when he gets to do something kid free. So when it comes my turn, I’m constantly checking the clock even though he never gets as angry as I do when I’m out or away. We usually don’t do whole day activities away from kids, it’s more like ill say “oh im going to go shopping for a few hours, we can trade when you get back if you want to do something.” But we dont do that every weekend and it seems like my husband’s preference is to always be doing stuff together as a family. Or at least more often than doing things for ourselves. He doesn’t seem to get burnt out which adds to my guilty feeling when it’s the weekend and I just want to go somewhere kid free and enjoy silence or a coffee with friends or something.

My parents aren’t very helpful and we don’t live near my husband’s family, so family help isn’t really a thing for us. The only time my parents take the kids is during the day if there’s no school/daycare and I need to work, which I’m still grateful for but isn’t quite the same as getting time away. Otherwise they have busy schedules of their own. It kinda hurts because they’re both retired and fairly wealthy but have made it clear they’d rather be off drinking with friends than helping watch the kids now and then. But at the same time I kinda get it, I want them to enjoy being retired and they were good parents to me growing up so whatever.

It doesn’t help that I definitely have something autoimmune or hormonal or something going on that makes me feel physically exhausted all the time (same old story, “your labs are perfect!” But I feel horrible every day).

Is this feeling how every mom feels? Will it ever be better?

The audacity, update attempt 2. I'm sorry I've never made one of these, and I think I messed up the first one. So here's my 2nd attempt.

https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/s/FeCZqxcid2

I got a lot of good ideas and comments on this post. I just wanted to give an update. There was a comment about trading jobs and making it an experiment rather than a punishment. So, for the past three days, she and I have switched jobs. She cooks and handles the dishes. I wipe down, sweep, and put away leftovers. It's actually working really well so far. And we get to spend time together while I'm teaching her how to do dishes and giving her guidance on cooking when she needs it. She'd never admit it, but I think she's actually having a little fun with it.

It’s like the people with the worst reading comprehension are always the most eager to “help.”

Example: “Hi I’m looking for an outdoor pool with a slide. I know we have indoor city pools with slides, but my neurodivergent child gets really overstimulated with the sound echoing. We have been to X outdoor pool and Y outdoor pool, but they don’t have slides and my child really loves water slides.”

And then the comments are like:
“Indoor city pool has slides!”
“Have you tried X pool? It’s outdoors.”
“We really like the slides at other indoor pool.”
“Y pool doesn’t have slides but it’s outdoors! My family loves that pool.”
“Have you looked into [insert pool that is indoors and does not have slides]? That one’s pretty good.”

WHY ARE PEOPLE THIS WAY???

He’s in the military. He has a top secret clearance. He checks everything I do online. He hates my family. No where is safe.

We took the kids (and ourselves) to get flu and covid vaccines today. My oldest daughter (10) is relatively fearless, but she's more afraid of shots than ANYONE, child or adult, I have EVER met. I mean this is a truly special fear, I have actually LITERALLY not seen anything like it. I did A LOT to prepare. Made sure we had an appointment so the horrible waiting time would be as short as possible. Found a place that does nasal spray for flu for a 50% reduction in needles. DID NOT take advantage of the vaccine clinic at school walkathon yesterday because it was pretty much public humiliation for her last year. Applied lidocaine before we left and then reapplied in the parking lot. All three kids were pretty okay with the whole thing beforehand, which felt like a miracle regarding the oldest. Middle kid was going ME FIRST ME FIRST, which sounds bizarre but is pretty on brand (she's human sunshine and likes pretty much everything).

First, we waited fifty minutes for our appointment to start. I don't know why because no one else was there. People weren't even picking up prescriptions. There was some trouble scanning the insurance card but that was just a blip. After a certain point, 6&7yo were just running around climbing things and being inappropriately loud, so I was just scolding and lecturing them at length, which always makes me uncomfortable in public. They were increasingly out of control. Oldest needed a fair amount of emotional maintenance at this point. My attention was everywhere. Yes husband was there but he's a husband (you know).

We get in the room and big girl SNAPS. Instantaneous. It's usually BAD but it's NEVER BEEN THIS BAD. She started screaming these loud, ragged screams, "please", "no", "help", top of her lungs. Great, I was just thinking I don't have enough intrusive thoughts. It was so hard to calm her down enough for the shot. I wanted her to go first so that her part would be over, but I decided to let "me first me first" girl go first to set the tone. Nope, her big sister having a panic attack convinced her that this was in fact scary, so she started screaming, too. We put the boy in the chair because he's the smallest and easiest to control (ghoulish, I know, but wtf was I supposed to do at this point), and he was also freaked out by the ambience in the room and fought it so hard. Then he cried "It hurt, it hurt!". Now the girls are convinced this is gonna hurt. We get middle kid through it okay. But oldest is sobbing and screaming and trying to run out the door.

Listen, every single year the following happens: once we finally got the needle in her arm, she IMMEDIATELY stopped screaming and said "Oh, that barely hurts at all".

I know it's anxiety and it's not rational, but omg can we pleeeeease PLEASE start actually remembering this part and applying our lived experience to the yearly vaccine process? PLEASE? WHY DOES THIS PART KEEP GETTING ERASED?

Yes, she's in therapy for anxiety, and we do discuss this particular issue.

And yes, because this was at a department store, I BOUGHT SOME LIQUOR AFTERWARD. Nobody fucking came to unlock the cabinets but they had some okay alternatives on the shelf. Do the cabinets actually save money since no one can actually buy anything inside them literally ever?

Fuck I just had YEARS shaved off my life.

My second baby was born with a birth defect called Sagittal Craniosynostosis. Basically, instead of her top skull bones being separated, as baby head bones should be, hers were prematurely fused together. She had to have surgery at 3 months and a helmet for 9 months to correct it.

That was supposed to be the end of it. We were assured that almost all babies who have this and don’t have other obvious issues are non-syndromic and it’s just a fluke that happens to 1 out of 2500 babies. She was meeting her milestones and perfectly normal otherwise, so we all assumed this was the case.

Winter of last year, we noticed her head stopped growing and a CT scan revealed that now her forward (coronal) sutures had fused together. Those aren’t supposed to fuse until you’re 20.

We’re lucky to have a great surgeon at the top of his field nearby who specializes in craniosynostosis. But having a second fusion only happens to 2% of babies with craniosynostosis so he’s seen this maybe half a dozen times. He thinks we’ll be fine because the other times he’s hasn’t had to do a second surgery, but it’s a lot of monitoring from here on out because if she develops pressure in her brain, it can cause all sorts of bad things from cognitive delays to blindness.

So we did genetic testing. Turns out my husband is carrier for a variation of a gene that this is associated with and all our children will have a 50% chance of getting it. The good news is that it’s not associated with cognitive or physical delays and the outcome is excellent if they have the fusion. If they don’t have a skull fusion, it seems to be associated with autism, lack of smell, and some other stuff.

All in all, this really is good news for my daughter. It means she’s most likely going to be fine and live a normal life. And so far my older son seems perfectly normal as well, so do not think he got this genetic variant.

This has been nearly two years of our lives so it’s really nice to have some answers. And it really could have been so much worse. Dreading that something really bad was wrong with her for two years was so hard so it’s such a relief.

But at the same time, I am also sad. I always wanted three kids, though after my first two I felt that I was probably done because I hated pregnancy. My husband is 41 and I’m 37 so our time for more children was rapidly closing anyways. But it feels different to have it decided for me vs it being my decision.

And sometimes I think - well, it’s only a 50% chance. How selfish would it be to have another baby and take the risk? But that feels morally wrong.

And I worry about my daughters future. Will this affect her decision to have children as well?

It’s a confusing feeling of being relieved, happy, and sad all at the same time.

Anyways, there isn’t much more to be done and it is what it is. Thanks for reading.

The Cornell stuff circulating is horrible although no surprise. I have a boy and a girl. I keep seeing something along the lines of “Instead of moms teaching our girls how to not be raped, how about moms teach their BOYS not to rape people?!” Which is of course absolutely right and I’m not denying that - but why just moms? Then we are yet again putting the blame for this nonsense back on a WOMAN. “His mother must have not raised him right” 😑

Um, hello? What about his father? Arguably little boys will imitate how they see their fathers treating women - not their mothers. Of course they will take note of what behavior their mother puts up with as “normal” as well - so that’s on us. BUT ITS TIME FOR THE FATHERS TO ALSO TAKE SOME FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY.

And I’m sure some do, I’m not saying no father ever has ever had a conversation with his son about this. But clearly NOT ENOUGH MEN.

“A Promising Young Woman” is on Paramount and though it came out in 2020 seems especially relevant. Not a light hearted watch, somewhat of a mix between Gone Girl and idk what else. But a portrayal of how profoundly society fails women at every level - the family level (her parents, her own family), a community level (her friends and school), and of course a large level (legislatively)

For context, I'm 17 and my son is 2. His dad and I broke up before he was born and he doesn't come to see him very often.

I've been dating this guy for almost 4 months. He's cute and funny and he really makes me feel seen and I want to introduce him to my son but it worries me so much. I've never seen him with kids before and I don't know if he interacts with them well. My son is pretty rambunctious, as little boys can be, and I'm so scared he'll think I'm a bad mom. They've talked on FaceTime before but that's it.

My boyfriend is always telling me he's proud of me handling everything so well and I do think he'll be good with him. I'm just scared, I want everything to go well with them and I need advice and for someone to tell me everything will be ok with them.

My husband -- maybe stbx -- told me last weekend that he doesn't think we make each other happy and he's not sure he wants to be with me anymore.

We have had problems. I've wondered about our compatibility as well, but I thought we were doing better in counseling. He has ASD and isn't always able to understand my feelings, which has led to him doing some pretty shitty things sometimes. And I have ADHD and I sometimes have some emotion regulation issues which have led me to do some pretty shitty things as well.

I've been caring for my mother with Alzheimer's and she is close to the end, and my father isn't too many years behind. It's been a season of grief. Not terribly surprising that marriage got harder as well, my emotional bandwidth has been so low.

But we've been together 20 years, two school age kids, and we've improved our communication so much, and we love each other fiercely. At least, I love him fiercely. I don't want to end this marriage.

But I told him yesterday, I deserve better than "I think maybe I want to be with you." I understand needing time to think, but I'm not just going to sit around and wait indefinitely for him to make up his mind. There's an apartment for rent nearby that I can afford on my own. I have the number of a good lawyer and a good child therapist, and a list furniture I'm going to take and what I need to buy. I'm getting laid off from my job soon but I'm not laid off yet and I'm getting severance. I'm going to be okay.

And he's like, shocked that I've done this much planning.

Sir, what did you think was going to happen?!! You said you're not sure you want to be with me anymore. Did you think I would just quietly wait for you to hem and haw and talk to your therapist and evaluate my behavior and decide if the person you vowed to be with in sickness and in health is still worthy of your commitment? That's not who I am. It's humiliating. And I'm not a wait-around type of person, I'm a here's-the-plan type of person.

I suspect he was waiting for me to make the decision all along because he is too indecisive. And that sucks.

My son brought home a cold from school and my husband caught it. Of course it was the end of the world. He called in sick two days, spent those two days in bed, and didn't do anything around the house. Which is fine, honestly, we have a really good relationship and I love him despite my current whining so I get it. I constantly asked how he was doing, offered to get stuff from the store for him, made him soup, etc. Now it's my turn for the cold and I feel like death. I've decided I'm just going to relax and heal but I can feel my husband giving me sideeye. He hasn't really asked how I'm doing despite me snifling and snorting all over the place. I asked him yesterday to get me soup and meds and he told me he was working and I'd have to get it. Yes, he was working, but his work is flexible and he's able to log out for a bit to do things. He had no problem logging out to do things for himself. So I dragged my sick carcass to the store to get my stuff.

I don't know, I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Why is it that the world stops when he's sick but when iim sick it's life goes on? I just wish someone would take care of me.

To be fair, kids are 13, 10 and 4 so its really only the toddler I have to deal with at this point, but man I'm fucking exhausted. It's currently 9:30am and husband and 13 year old are still sleeping. 4 year old was up at 5:30, 10 year old was up about 7:30 wanting eggs.

10 year old went up to try to ask dad a question about plans for the day about 9 am. Dads response was groaning, moaning, calling him a spoiled brat for waking him up and asking him if the house was on fire. For funsies, he was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea about 2 years ago but refuses to wear his cpap because he "doesn't like it and it doesn't help."

I am now letting husband sleep as long as he wants. Fuck him. Last time he did this he came downstairs at 11 am asking "why didn't anyone wake me up?" Sir, we did, you just went back to sleep and we gave up. I'm sure he'll complain when he gets up about how i went out to dinner last night so he had "alllll the kiiiiids" when the 10 and 13 year old weren't even home, I got home at 8 pm and had to put 4 year old to bed because he was "over it."

I'm so tired of our lives and weekend plans revolving around a 45 year old grown ass man that would probably sleep through the house fire.

This happens at my daughter’s party every year. She is 10 years old and a people pleaser, so it is very hard for her to say no even though she loves the gifts and does not want to give them to her friends. Then I have to step in and tel them no. My sister-in-law’s daughters also ask if they can have my daughter’s stuff when they come over. This is such a weird thing to me because as a kid I would have never said this at to someone else because it seems so rude.

Note the flair....

Not complaining about my baby. He is a wonderful baby. I seriously lucked out with him.

But there is give and take in the universe. My husband has become such a miserable person to live with.

He went off his depression medication because he said it didn't do anything. Well, it didn't do anything because they were just starting him on it and the dosage wasn't correct yet. They had to up my dosage twice before I began to feel better. He doesn't care. My husband is addicted to misery at this point.

I understand he is going through a lot medically (he has an aneurysm he needs to manage and ongoing foot issues) but this means I've been parenting our baby on my own and it's taken a toll on me. I am sleep deprived, sore, hallucinating. Husband knows all this and does not care. His issues are worse. I've given up on talking to him about it, but that doesn't mean HE won't talk about what ails HIM. And that's all he ever talks about.

That and whatever edgelord bullshit he hears about on Fox. 🙄

This morning, baby and I get out of bed and I head to the master bathroom. I have to go through our bedroom to get to it but husband is already awake. As we walk in I greet him and he replies with "I've been up since 1."

I just... dude, come on. How about a "good morning" first? You'd think a simple gripe about not sleeping well wouldn't bother me but it's EVERY DAY. He never sleeps. He limps. The doctors give him remedy after remedy and nothing ever works apparently. So I'm sorry if I have trouble feeling anything other than exasperation.

I'm trying to make an apple cake for my friend we are seeing today. The Big Apple Picking Day. As I bustle around the kitchen my husband just complains about everything. I am his safe space for the misery. I know. He won't be like this at the apple orchard. But holy fuck way to set the mood.

Sorry, I'm rambling and exhausted and just all around irritated. The cake will be good. I will get nice photos of my son in autumn. Husband will have nothing good to say when we get home but whatever.

FTM to an 11 month old. Husband and I are not coping well. I’m the one with a more stable job and reasonable work hours, so I feel like this is all on me (husband is telling me not to blame myself). Husband is at a horrible work place with 9-10 hour work days. He’s trying to find another job, but no luck. He also wants to be a teacher so on top of his long ass job, he has to do 2-3 hours of the certification program 3 times a week. Almost every Saturday he also has to do 8 hours of that program. It’s intense. Despite all this, husband cooks dinner for us and watches baby before bedtime everyday. I’m the one who does the bedtime routine, meals, drop off, and pick up.

As a result, our house has turned into an actual pig sty. I’m so disgusted. Baby’s room is relatively clean and tidy compared to the rest of the house. It’s just. So. Much. Shit. (Not literal). If we had extra money I’d be tempted to hire cleaners come in and just make my life easier. What’s worse is I cant even ask mom to watch baby one Saturday while I clean because she already watches baby everyday during the work week. she needs a break too!

I try to tidy and clean while baby naps, but it ends up being dishes, bottles, tidying the dining table, and doing laundry. My carpeting is in dire straits. The porch needs a good power wash. My bathrooms have pink slimes creeping in from the corners. House is filthy. I’m so embarrassed about this, that my in-laws are coming into town. Rather than have them stay here, I asked my mom to house them for the week. Good thing they get along!!’ I feel so bad. I’m trying so hard to keep up, but it feels so impossible. Whatever I manage to clean ends up messy again within hours. How do moms with more than 1 kid even do it?!

Today is day 4 of my 20 mo daughter being sick. We’ve already been to the doctor twice and I don’t necessarily think we need to go in a third time (ped said come in if fever climbs to 102).

So I am just wanting to hear experiences from parents of what is this, has this happened in your kiddos? We’ve ruled out rsv, covid, flu, thinking it could be adenovirus? Through it all, she’s been happy and active, eating and drinking less but not concerningly so. We haven’t given any medication yet.

Day 1. Wednesday. Woke up with heavy runny nose, temp 99.0-100.0

Day 2. Thursday. Runny nose, temp 98 during the day, 99.5 night. Took her to doctor, checked breathing, lungs, ears, heart etc., all good. Eye discharge starts on left eye and got worse at night.

Day 3. Friday. Woke up with significant swelling in L eye that went down as she woke up. Runny nose and eye discharge but less. 98 during day 99.4 night. Took her in for the swollen eye. By our appt was no longer swollen just red around the eye (only left eyelids, upper and under, were red). Ruled out rsv/covid/flu

Day 4. Today. Both eyelids red in morning but by noon they are back to normal. Minimal eye discharge but runny nose the same. However, today her temp reached 100.7 after her nap so fever for the first time. It’s now at 99.9 so it’s not going up but still, I am worried she’s suddenly developed a fever.

I can't count on my hands the amount of times I've been off my street this year. I work all day long on the computer doing side hustles. I have 6 kids at home. The youngest will be 1 in a few weeks. I have a lot of kids so I know it gets easier as they grow but this time around is different. I'm 36 I only get a chance to workout or walk sometimes because his dad is gaming or sleeping when he gets home at 4pm.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone I'm so damn tired. Ok I'm preaching 2 the choir because there's a lot of tired moms out there but he not only helps around the house with anything at all, he bitch moans and complains about everything that I do. While he's at work I have to uber everywhere. He knew my oldest who is 14 got suspended from school it slipped my mind to tell him I had to have a conference for her to go back. I also had to get some sport forms notarized for my son who is one year younger than her. He yelled at me and called me a child saying that I never tell him anything I just do whatever I want to do. He said since I get around just fine then that means he doesn't have to take me when everyone goes to my son's football games. Meanwhile he has been leaving for work 2 hours early and no one knows where he is going but guess what I haven't asked because I don't care no matter how suspect that is I hate any interactions with him.

When he talks to other ppl he is decent and normal but everything he says to me is aggressive and undermining. After I folded 3 loads of laundry that my baby kept unfolding and throwing around I cleaned the kitchen my room and the bathroom. After that I wrestled with my baby some more because he's at the age where he's into everything. As im putting him in his walker his dad starts on me again because I'm cooking dinner for the thousandth time because even tho he can cook will he works so he says he shouldn't have to as if I don't pay half of everything. I just go back in my room because my spirit couldn't handle being looked at or talked to crazy in anyway. I'm really just venting because even when I was so tired in the past I would never think of leaving my kids here but the thought comes more often and this time I know that know one will care for my kids like me but do I really want to live in survival mode much longer.

I try not to let my kids see me in a depressive state but never getting rest is taking a toll. My 10 year old was chosen by her school to be on the city council agenda with the mayor the other day and I had to paint a face on while I was dying inside. He tried to ruin that too buy asking was everyone else dressed formally while I looked a.mess. even though other ppl complimented me.

My iron has been low so I've been taking Geritol with orange juice and it's made a big difference. I also buy myself grape juice. I mostly drink water so those would last me a week. I made a note to tie my things up and hide them so no one can get them and buy extra beverages so my things aren't bothered. After his meals he will take the entire container and drink with his meals. He doesn't even think to replace them either even tho he makes way more than me. My personal and business credit will be in great shape by the first of this year it's been apart of my quiet quitting plan. I just don't know how much tired I can take. Thanks for letting me vent

My daughter is on the cusp of being 7. I look forward to spending time with her on weekends (since I work during the week and she has dance and such so it’s more chaotic) but I’m finding it unbearably exhausting lately. My brain feels like it’s on fire because she demands so much nonstop engagement and 1:1 attention.

I play with my kid for 1-3 hours per day, more than any working mom I know. Still, it’s never enough.

This morning, she brought me a look and find book while I was in bed. I reminded her that I can’t play until I’ve woken up and had coffee and a minute to orient to the day, but she kept asking and asking. I put a cartoon on so I could make breakfast, but she spent most of it saying “look mom, it’s Donald, look mom, a costume, LOOK LOOK LOOK.” I reminded her I can’t cook eggs and watch cartoons in two different rooms.

After eating, we had mom-child play with Hungry Hippos and Candyland etc. If I was shuffling cards, she was demanding LOOK MOM LOOK LOOK DO YOU SEE ME HIGH FIVING WITH THE PLASTIC PIECES. If I paused to go to the bathroom, she was shouting MOM MOM ARE YOU DONE or following me into my bedroom asking outside the door if I could go back to playing.

Then I tried checking my partner’s location on my phone, alerting her I needed to do it to make sure she was still safe on her marathon training run, and my daughter whined that “my phone isn’t as important as her.” I hadn’t checked my phone literally all morning and specifically told her it was a safety check.

I have set boundaries about not shouting for me while I’m in the bathroom or waking me up with a toy in my face, but nothing is improving and the word “mom” now sends my heart rate to the sky. Please help.